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You know you've spent too much time on the WoT when...


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...you can name all the Forsaken, their real names in the AoL, their jobs, the order in which they joined the Shadow, and their reincarnations.


...you can draw a map of Randland from memory, with the arrow pointing to the Isles of the Seafolk...south of Illian.


...you know all the female channelers stronger than Nynaeve.


...you practice pronouncing the Old Tongue and everybody's names.


...you practice ji'eh'toh in real life, giggling like crazy in elevators and muttering "gai'shan! gai'shan!"

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where do you learn all that (about the forsaken?). I can pretty much place most of the countries at this point. maybe murandy, ghealdan, amadicia and those down there are a little jumbled in my non photographic memory. and alivia is the only one I recall stronger than nynaeve...unless maybe some of egwene's new novices? sharina or someone?


the pronunciations have always stumped me and many I have been disappointed to learn from the audiobooks were not as I thought. probably the worst example: rhuidean. I was sure the "rhuid" was said like the word DRUID, and then I hear the guy saying "RRHOIDean" (like the -rrhoid as in hemorrhoids). I mean come on druid is a much better association than hemorrhoids

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Lanfears names was Mieren(spelling?), I too dream about WOT when im reading it alot lol,


...when you only put down the books to come post here!

...when you blame anything foolish you do on the taint

...when you start thinking with the hair on your chest!!(thats some smart ass hair!)

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...you know 5+ different methods to fix the spine and/or reattach the covers on the paperbacks.


...you keep the latest book on hand to make sure you have the most accurate maps.


...you make obscure WoT references in BBS login names. :mat:


...you collect ebook cover "art."


...you have an overwhelming craving for stew, potatoes, cheese, and slices of ham rolled-up and dipped in mustard.


...you pretend your dog is another WoT fan and tell her your latest theory.


...you grumble that they are charging more for the ebook just because the paperback isn't out yet, but you pay it anyway.


...you stub your toe, you have to remember to say "#@%%#@" instead of "Blood and bloody ashes!"

Edited by Toy'varen
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...you dream that you're the M'hael.

...you have skipped school just to stay home and finish Lord of Chaos.

...you do nothing but read when you're actually in school/at work.


Also, people seem to dream a lot about WoT.

Brainwashing conspiracy, anyone?

Edited by Mat is a pretty cool guy
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...you perceive omens in the behavior of birds




I dreamed the other night I was about to steal this car, cuz I was too impatient for someone to show up and give me a ride...then I realized that would be bogus and just waited


and a night or so before that I dreamed I accidently cleaned an entire plate of free ice cream samples (i was really hungry!) and then when i tried to order some the shop demanded I pay like $58 for it. I got really mad and ended up slamming down like $5 and change and storming out. later I was trying to justify myself to a former manager, saying free samples are supposed to be free right, and he totally agreed with me


I wonder what egwene would say

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...you finish a particularly challenging task and say "I win again Lews Therin"

...you actually say "Light!"

...you tell you brother on chat every night "sleep well and wake"

...you own an Aes Sedai shawl

...you had to explain to friends and family why getting an Aes Sedai shawl for your birthday was THE best gift ever!!

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...you pay $6 for a McDonald's meal and wonder how many Ebou Dari you could feed with that much money.


...you've calculated how much an Andor crown is worth at today's gold prices.


...you're shopping for video games, and wonder if any of them could possibly be as interesting as shara.


...you see somebody reading "Twilight," and sincerely say, "I'm sorry."


...you wonder if you could carve a bow out of a broom handle.


...you consider Egypt the end of the Second Age.


...you panic when it starts raining because your bowstring might get wet.

Edited by Toy'varen
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I know this is a joke thread and all, but I tried just to see, this is what I got...


you can name all the Forsaken, their real names in the AoL


Light, I can do a solid half...


Mierin Eronaile - Lanfear

Elan Morin Tedronai - Ishamael

Kamrille (can't remember her last names) - Graendal

Joar Addam Nedosian - Asmodean

Tel Janin Aelinsen - Sammael

Saine (can't remember her last name) - Mesaana.

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.. you have thick rugs on the floor in front of the tv and only one chair.. which no one sits in.

.. you get road rage because you can't skim to work

.. you love piping hot meat pies, and steal them from the windowsills every chance you get.

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Do other fandoms get these sorts of threads?

You know you've read too much ASoIaF when you think throwing a child out of a window is a good idea.

You know you've read too much Malazan when your reaction to a loved one dying is "they'll be back in a couple of books, probably as an Ascendant."

You know you've watched too much Firefly when you start swearing in Chinese.

You know you've watched too much WWE when your idea of conflict resolution involves a steel chair to the face.

You know you've made this joke too long but you can't think of a good punchline.

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You own a dagger necklace that you refer to as your "ebou dari marriage knife" and refuse to take it off.


You see people arguing and ask the person next to you if they think it's a blood feud or not.


When something bad happens, you sigh and say "well the wheel weaves as the wheel wills".


Everybody around doesn't need you to clarify which book you mean when you say "I was reading my book the other day..." because they know it was one of thirteen (or fourteen if you count NS)


When someone makes you angry, you check the knives up your sleeves to make sure they're still there.


You use insults like "woolhead", "sheepherder", and "wetlander"


And also use the phrase "dark one's own luck" when something fortunate happens.

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.....When you roll over in the morning and call your spouse Rand/Perrin when their name is John.


....When you star to look at the country side and say wow this really remind we of (insert nation/place here)


...When you get a big @#$ red bump in the middle of your forehead and you just say your Malkeri


.. When you automaticly add an I to you nephews name it Logan not Logain.


. When you answer the queston of what do you want to be when you grow up "a Gleeman"

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...when you realise that you do too many of the things listed above

...when you randomly say "may the Dragon ride the winds of time"

...when you deeply want someone to be able to Heal you (using Nynaeve's method of course) when you just don't want to be sick

...when you make your Mum stitch the WoT logo onto a pillowcase upon which you rest your head every night (true story lol)

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