That Secret Idea You Have That You Really Want To Happen, But Won't

[FarShainMael]

:D  :D    :D

 

[OptimusPrime]

egwene trips over an gopher hole and breaks her neck, instantly dieing, and Suian reclaims her former status as amyrlin

 

EGWENE: So Ive decided we must put all our efforts into aiding Rand gather for Tarmon Gaidon. I think we should-

 

*falls over the hole and dies*

 

SUIAN: O. M. G. Its like the Pattern is pushing me back to the Amyrlin Seat again! Im almost as surprised as the time I first went fishing and-

 

Lips pulling back in what might have been considered a snarl, Shaidar Haran raised its hand and summoning the True Power. Weaving balefire, a bar of pure light shot forth to strike at Siuan, obliterating her thread from the Pattern.

 

Shaidar Haran did not like fish.

[clu7ch]

Demandred is actually egwene

[Master Norry]

Shaidar Haran did not like fish.[/i]

 

Haha, win!

[neugebms]

1. When Rand talks next to the super-girls, lamenting about how he loves all and can't choose blah blah blah, they go all-for-one and one-for-all on him and start singing Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It" on him.

 

2.  The Academy's that Rand started actually do something useful, and have laid enough train track by the time aMoL gets here that the trains are useful, and they show up just in the nick of time, loaded to the rafters with troops, to save the day.  Just for good measure, the locomotives themselves are armed to the teeth with Mat's dragons.

 

3.  Loial, at some point, shows someone the rough draft of his book.  Chapter 1 starts with the same begginning senteces that each WoT book has...you know, the 3rd age to some, an age passed but yet to come yadda yadda yadda (sorry, don't have a book in front of me)...

[DemandredFO]

The dead are really coming now and Hammar and Coulin come and kill Gawyn.  Then Egwene joins the shadow because Moridin tells her that she can have him back.  Then Anakin skywalker shows up and kills egwene and then does a sililoquey about the Dark Side.

[lordofsoup]

somebody please kill all the seafolk for thinking they are so important.  They have started to bother me more than the Seanchan, Faile, and perrin combined.  Rand should smackdown on the Black Tower. 

[Durinax]

the sea folk remind me of AS, they are almost the exact same, insufferable, annoying, and so 'dignified' that they are arrogent.

I just find it funny when sea folk and AS meet each other because they both demand others respect their huge dignities

[DemandredFO]

Mat did smack down the seafolk so provided no one told them about the loophole he could do so again and they owe him a debt for saving some of them.  So there's hope.  They're bullies though so therefore until they're taken down a peg or five it will do no good.

[NetSlider]

So. In the past week I've gone through three thousand posts for the Big Unmentioned Thing, and have been driven utterly insane by it. When I go insane I get whimsical, and thus threads like this happen.

 

So, what's the thing you want to see happen that you know won't.

 

Here's mine.

 

1. An AOL Aes Sedai will be found in a stasis box, will be released and will verbally bitchslap modern Aes Sedai so hard they won't stop crying for a week. In that week she will, of course, gather and fully train hundreds of thousands of Aes Sedai, who will, quite naturally, refuse to be bound as criminals.

 

2. An Aes Sedai will stop posturing, go to the atha'an miere and tell them that hanging an Aes Sedai from the rigging of their ships and beating her constitutes an act of war against the Tower and thus nullifies the Bargain. When they get upset she will remind them they are a bunch of glorified merchants, tell them that they can scream foul in every port they care to call because their political weight is less than zilch compared to the Tower. As she is leaving she will, of course, remind them that they are children screaming "I want! I want! I want!" while around them the world prepares to fight the single greatest evil humanity has ever known. At this point the Atha'an Miere will choose to emulate the Amayar (their illusions of relevence being over).

 

3. Moridin will realise that 'divide and conquer' is sort of failing, and settle simply for 'conquer', and assasinate every figure of authority he can get his hands on, as Semirhage did in Seanchan.

 

 

 

Now you. Go!

You know, I really like the first one from the AOL.My pick would be that nameless AS that laughs when asked where the safety is (in Rand's Ruhdian vision). :)

[lordofsoup]

the seafolk are worse than the Aes Sedai.  At least some of the Aes Sedai are manipulative.  The seafolk have no control they are just bullies while the Aes Sedai are manipulative and conniving, and bullies, but not bullies first. 

[Dalven]

Gawyn texts in his vote for American Idol while riding. Gets in a head on collision with Faile. There are no survivors.

 

Slayer or B.A. Jane Doe or Graendal or Sammael or Taim or Chuck Norris thinks to him/herself, "That time I killed Asmodean was super fun." (I'm incapable of posting without referencing Asmo.)

 

Morgase shows up just in time to make eye contact with her stupid son, just as Rand runs a blade through him. His last thoughts are, "Boy, am I stupid." This of course is assuming my text-while-riding event somehow doesn't make it into the novel. Shortly after, Faile dies of natural causes.

[Dalven]

One other thing. We know RJ was a Catholic and that the WoT is a circle. So wouldn't it be something if the only two survivors of the Last Battle found themselves with no memory and in the middle of a garden with the Creator who renames them Adam and Eve? I don't think this is likely at all. But interesting.

[DemandredFO]

The two survivors are Egwene and Gawyn; Rand shows up from T'A'R since he's bound to the horn and balefires them with the one power and the True Power, just to make sure.  Then, just to annoy people Elayne shows up and the creator renames them adam and eve

[FarShainMael]

Wouldn't this happen at the transition betweeen the 7th Age and the (next) 1st Age... ?

;)

 

[Dalven]

Wouldn't this happen at the transition betweeen the 7th Age and the (next) 1st Age... ?

;)

 

Do we know that Adam and Eve was the first age? Maybe they were 5th, Jesus was 6th, we're 7th, and 1st will be w/e leads up to the age of legends and stuff.

 

But, I don't actually believe that. I think the Age of Legends is what would follow our current age. Like C.E. 2100 channeling is discovered.

[FarShainMael]

I'm sure there's a post/thread somewhere that discusses where our world is supposed to be in the Turning, and I think it is indeed pre-AoL. Something that I've been wondering about is this, that for the 7th Age to be known as the 7th - the last in the turning - it must surely end with something pretty catastrophic. I think Herid Fel was musing along those lines.

 

[OldmanRand]

- most of the whitecloaks turn out to be DFs.  galad kills himself.

 

- three become one means that avi and min get sick of rand thinking he is the center of the universe with his list of women nonsense and decide to elope, leaving rand just one wife (at least until she gets sick of him too).

 

- the amayer didn't really commit suicide.  they had to shed their human bodies to again become dragons and fight in the last battle.  and yes, they can travel through both time and space.

 

- the forces of the Light, numbering a couple million at most, take the field against a dark force of 10 million trollocs, a million myyradel, hundreds of thousands of darkhounds and horrors beyond imagining.  they realize the futility of the battle but the super girls, rand, logain and a few others go right to shadar logoth.  once there, moridin comes out and tries to reason with the group, arguing why they should turn to the dark.  finally, rand reveals powers greater than anyone else - directly from the creator.  rand and moridin then merge and the forces of the DO, under control of rand, end up helping rebuild society.

 

- rand unleashes callandor and decides to create an alternate universe where he puts all of the seanchan, the DO and forces of the dark, and anyone else that doesn't really agree with him.  they all live happily ever after and never question the morality of that decision.

 

- this is a serious one:  rand realizes that moridin is the last dragon that turned to the darkside, and the DO's plan all along was to have rand destroy moridin with balefire, thus cutting his thread from the pattern forever.  through some trick of the pattern, only the dragon can burn away his own thread, and while the dragon thread exists, the DO can never truly get free and/or destroy the wheel.  Rand convinces moridin that the DO winning is not inevitable.  Moridin realizes it is true and uses the TP to reseal the Bore from the inside, while rand reseals it on the outside so it's like it was never opened (sealing from inside keeps the DO from tainting the OP).  and no, i don't know how to solve the paradox that moridin is ishmael who lived at the same time as lewis therin and was good before becoming bad...maybe he lost his memory or was just pretending.

[Naffy]

Though I think it will actually happen, I think Egwene will tell Gawyn to piss off.  I can't stand the weenie whiner wimp.

[lordofsoup]

I want everyone who can channel to finally realize that they are stupid.  They open gateways a could hundred feet above the ground and shoot fire and lightning and who knows what else down on the Trollocs, who can not reach them as they are two hundred feet up in the air, and if anything dangerous really shows up they can move the gateway away. 

[Morsker]

Speaking of gateways, I want someone to actually open one in the wrong place and kill a major character accidentally. Everyone always talks about the risk, but it never happens, and they never take sufficient precautions. I'd open a peep hole 20 feet above ground, make sure the area was clear, then open the real gateway, but these guys just cross their fingers and hope nothing bad happens.

[Fains nose]

I want two chanelers to figure out they can fly by lifting and carrying each other with air. Then Cadsuane is eaten alive by trollocs

[water_seeker]

I want two chanelers to figure out they can fly by lifting and carrying each other with air.

 

Wouldn't work...lifting things/people isn't that easy.

 

I want everyone who can channel to finally realize that they are stupid.  They open gateways a could hundred feet above the ground and shoot fire and lightning and who knows what else down on the Trollocs, who can not reach them as they are two hundred feet up in the air, and if anything dangerous really shows up they can move the gateway away. 

Speaking of gateways, I want someone to actually open one in the wrong place and kill a major character accidentally. Everyone always talks about the risk, but it never happens, and they never take sufficient precautions. I'd open a peep hole 20 feet above ground, make sure the area was clear, then open the real gateway, but these guys just cross their fingers and hope nothing bad happens.

 

I'd like to see gateways used more effectively in battle...Open one behind your enemy and fire off fireballs/the exploding column thingies that LTT used in KoD/rolling gateways/etc, then close the gateway and open another one somewhere else...keep the enemy guessing.  I'd also move around the battlefield more using them too.  With so many gateways being used other channelers would have trouble locating you as long as you kept moving...Although you would prolly tire out quickly.

[Dalven]

I want two chanelers to figure out they can fly by lifting and carrying each other with air. Then Cadsuane is eaten alive by trollocs

A channeler can't fly because, as RJ said, it's like trying to pick yourself up. Now imagine I pick you up, then you try to pick me up. I'd imagine the dual flying thing would work similarly. Otherwise, I doubt you'd need a second channeler. Just stand on a rock and channel it up. Then dress up in all green and really hate Spiderman.

 

Cadsuane eaten alive by anything would make me pretty happy.

[Demiandre]

We finally discover that Rand is the reincarnation of Robert Jordan in the Third Age, which he remembers in VoG, and that the books are partially made from the memory Jordan has of his previous life.

The bearded man ter'angreal (in tPoD and KoD) is a remembering of this past Age that was transformed into a ter'angreal device which contains books, according to the person represented. With the memory of this past life, Rand create new technologies, by example phones, which he imagine through the flashes of color when he thinks about Mat and Perrin. Or a bazooka, which upsets Mat a lot, because his Dragons becomes useless :)