Jump to content

DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Moment that made you LOL


maryemi'jigede
 Share

Recommended Posts

Moiraine to Faile: "Tonight, you eat fish; tomorrow, you may die." Just gets me.

 

I find some of Rand's internal freakouts and musings pretty funny as well (his less dark ones, I mean). "Min didn't call it that; she called it 'talking', but he knew the difference." Or "Bloody Moiraine won't even talk to me, but now she's given me bloody fine new clothes to die in!"

 

Aiel humour's great too. I love the irony. "We keep telling her she's not a prisonner. She just can't leave."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 101
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Mat - pretty much every five minutes makes me smile (even after all the re-reads) and sometimes just makes me LOL (but only starting with tDR). So very favorite moments...

 

When he's being starved by Tylin and Oliver tells him how good the fish (or such) was while playing Snakes and Foxes. He just looses is and screams, "Just throw the dice, just throw the bloody dice!" LOL! Makes me smile right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am glad someone put the letter Mat wrote!!!

 

I also really liked Perrin and Galad at the end of the battle, when Galad has twisted in his ankle and is on Perrin's horse. I don't have it near me to quote, but it went something like:

 

Galad: If I can still ride, I can still fight

Perrin: I will be nearbye in case you fall

Galad: Thank you

Perrin: I'm just really attached to the horse

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am glad someone put the letter Mat wrote!!!

 

I also really liked Perrin and Galad at the end of the battle, when Galad has twisted in his ankle and is on Perrin's horse. I don't have it near me to quote, but it went something like:

 

Galad: If I can still ride, I can still fight

Perrin: I will be nearbye in case you fall

Galad: Thank you

Perrin: I'm just really attached to the horse

 

Love that one. It was a good too see perrin unwind

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My absolute favourite, the scene that made me laugh til I cried, was Mat beating the backside of Joline in the caravan. Absolutely loved it.

 

Any of Mat's fits of righteous indignation are usually good for a giggle - his meeting with Berelain in the Stone, early on - something along the lines of 'I expect a civil word for a civil word and I distinctly heard myself speak!'

 

Nyn (while trying to get to Salidar) thinking about what happens when you throw two madmen (Masema and Galad) at the same target...

Mat and Nyn are really very alike, they both show irritation and frustration in very entertaining ways.

 

Rand is funny when he sulks too. In Cairhien, is it, he grumbles to himself about the Dragon Reborn making thrones tremble but Rand al'Thor gets routed in his bathtub.

 

There are lots of smaller moments, but the Mat/Joline scene just wins prizes for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My favorite LOL part has to be when Mat is trying to get everybody in his tent to memorize their scripts that he had written.

 

Mat looked up, pointing at Thom. "Thorn, you'll take Harnan, Fer-gin and Mandevwin as 'apprentices' and Noal can be your footman."

 

"Footman?" Noal asked. He was a gnarled man, missing teeth, with a hooked beak of a nose. But he was tough as an old, battle-scored sword passed down from father to son. "Why does a gleeman need a footman?"

 

"All right," Mat said. "You can be his brother then, who doubles as a manservant. Juilin, you—"

 

"Wait, Mat," Mandevwin said, scratching his face near his eye patch. "I'm to be an apprentice gleeman? I'm not certain my voice is suited to fine singing. You've heard me, I warrant. And with only one eye, I doubt I'll fare well at juggling."

 

"You're a new apprentice," Mat said. "Thom knows you don't have any talent, but he took pity on you because your great-aunt—with whom you've lived since your parents died in a tragic oxen stampede—took sick of the clover pox and went crazy. She started feeding you table scraps and treated you like the family hound, Marks, who'd run away when you were just seven."

 

Mandevwin scratched his head. His hair was streaked with gray. "Aren't I a little old to be an apprentice, though?"

 

"Nonsense," Mat said. "You're young at heart, and since you never married—the only woman you ever loved ran away with the tanner's son—Thorn's arrival offered you an opportunity to start fresh."

 

"But I don't want to leave my great-aunt," Mandevwin protested. "She's cared for me since I was a child! It's not honest of a man to abandon an elderly woman just because she gets a little confused."

 

"There is no great-aunt," Mat said with exasperation. "This is just a legend, a story to go with your false name."

 

"Can't I have a story that makes me more honorable?" Mandevwin asked.

 

"Too late," Mat said, rifling through a stack on his desk, searching out a cluster of five pages covered in scrawled handwriting. "You can't change now. I spent half the night working on your story. It's the best out of the lot. Here, memorize this." He handed it over to Mandevwin, then got out another stack of papers and began looking through them.

 

"Are you sure we're not taking this a little too far, lad?" Thom asked.

 

"I'm not going to be surprised again, Thom," Mat said. "Burn me, but I'm not going to let it happen. I'm tired of walking into traps unprepared. I plan to take command of my own destiny, stop running from problem to problem. It's time to be in charge."

 

"And you do that with ..." Julin said.

 

"Elaborate aliases with backstories," Mat said, handing Thom and Noal their sheets. "Bloody right I do."

 

"What about me?" Talmanes asked. That twinkle to his eyes was back, though he spoke with a completely earnest voice. "Let me guess, Mat. I'm a traveling merchant who once trained with the Aiel and who has come to the village because he's heard there's a trout that lives in the lake who insulted his father."

 

"Nonsense," Mat said, handing him his sheets. "You're a Warder."

 

"That's rather suspicious," Talmanes noted.

 

"You're supposed to be suspicious," Mat said. "It's always easier to beat a man in cards when he's thinking about something else. Well, you'll be our 'something else.' A Warder passing through town on mysterious business won't be so grand an event that it will draw too much attention, but to those who know what to look for, it will be a good distraction. You can use Fen's cloak. He said he'd let me borrow it; he still feels guilty for letting those serving women get away."

 

"Of course, you didn't tell him that they simply vanished," Thom added. "And that there was no way for him to keep it from happening."

 

"Didn't see the point of telling him," Mat said. "No use dwelling on the past, I say."

 

"A Warder, is it?" Talmanes said, flipping through his stack of papers. "I'll have to practice scowling."

 

Mat regarded him with a flat expression. "You're not taking this seriously."

 

"What did you ask? Is there someone who is taking this seriously?" Burn that twinkle. Had Mat really ever thought this man was slow to laugh? He just did it on the inside. That was the most infuriating way.

 

"Light, Talmanes," Mat said. "A woman in that town is looking for Perrin and me. She knows what we look like so well that she can produce a drawing more accurate than my own mother could have made. That gives me a chill, like the Dark One himself standing over my shoulder. And I can't go into the flaming place myself, since every bloody man, woman and child has a picture with my face on it and a promise of gold for information!

 

"Now maybe I went a little far with the preparations, but I intend to find this person before they can order a flock of Darkfriends—or worse—-to cut my throat in the night. Understood?"

 

Mat looked each of the five men in the eyes, nodded, and started toward the tent flap, but paused beside Talmanes's chair. Mat cleared his throat, then half mumbled, "You secretly harbor a love of painting, and you wish you could escape this life of death you've committed yourself to. You came through Trustair on your way south, rather than taking a more direct route, because you love the mountains. You're hoping to hear word of your younger brother, whom you haven't seen in years, and who disappeared on a hunting trip in southern Andor. You have a very tortured past. Read page four."

 

Mat hurried on, pushing his way out into the shaded noon, though he did catch a glimpse of Talmanes rolling his eyes. Burn the man! There was good drama in those pages!

 

 

This had me laughing for a good 10 minutes at least my cheeks were hurting by the time i was able to stop lol...

But Mat is definatly the most hilarious charecter in the story it's why he's my favorite cuz you always get a kick out of him

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love:

>> Mat's letter to Elayne "your royal bloody pain in my back"

>> Nynaeve literally kicking Mat

>> Mat's half marriage to Tuon "Your bloody Daughter of the Nine Moons is my wife!"

>> "You may call me Rand Sedai"

>> Nynaeve and Lan, definitely

>> Luca's marriage offer

>> Mat all the time

>> Nynaeve all the time

>> Moiraine in New Spring!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In TGS when Mat is ranting about blank dice and women ganging up on him because they were women. Something like, "even the girl whose grandmother hated your grandmother for stealing a recipe, even SHE would still say..."

 

And the bit where Rand tells the Aiel a joke-in Lord of Chaos?-and they spend more time figuring it out than he spent telling it.

Edited by Drekka Mort
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The entire A Hell in Maderin chapter in Knife of Dreams cracked me up.

 


  •  
  • First, Selucia imperiously summons Mat and he decides to make Tuon wait, but only rolls the dice a few times before deciding he's seen enough consecutive snake eyes.
  • The whole argument with Tuon over whether he'd promised to take her to a hell was a riot. "Well, he was calmly presenting the logic that saying something was easy was not the same as promising, and Tuon just stubbornly insisted he'd given his word, and he had not shouted, whatever Selucia said, when there came a knock on the door." (paraphrased)
  • Then Thom redirecting Tuon's suspicion away from their deception but right smack onto Mat by saying he'd won Mat's bet that she wouldn't notice anything off about this hell.
  • The hat on the table. "NEVER place a hat on the table!!" (Dryly) "I'll try to remember that." (Narrowed eyes) "I've decided to bedeck your property robes with pink ribbons, Toy."
  • Tuon protesting that she couldn't leave yet, she hadn't seen a single fight!

 

Also in Knife of Dreams, after his marriage, Mat is about to go into battle and goes into this mini-rant in his head about how marriage wasn't going to change him. Can't read that without thinking of what Tuon's thoughts on that subject would be, and who would win.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am glad someone put the letter Mat wrote!!!

 

I also really liked Perrin and Galad at the end of the battle, when Galad has twisted in his ankle and is on Perrin's horse. I don't have it near me to quote, but it went something like:

 

Galad: If I can still ride, I can still fight

Perrin: I will be nearbye in case you fall

Galad: Thank you

Perrin: I'm just really attached to the horse

Yeah i loved that one too. And also during Morgase and Tallanvor's wedding where Berelain cries and Perrin notes that women always cry during things like this and then feels himself choking up but claims that there must be something in his eye.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Women are like goats. It's like . . . Well, reasoning with a woman is like sitting down to a friendly game of dice. Only the woman refuses to acknowledge the basic bloody rules of the game. A man, he'll cheat you - but he'll do it honestly. He'll use loaded dice, so that you think you're losing by chance. And if you aren't clever enough to spot what he's doing, then maybe he deserves to take your coin. And that's that. A woman, though, she'll sit down to that same game and she'll smile, and act like she's going to play. Only when it's her turn to throw, she'll toss a pair of her own dice that are blank on all six sides. Not a single pip showing. She'll inspect the throw, then she'll look up at you and say, 'clearly I just won.' Now, you'll scratch your head and look at the dice. Then you'll look up at her, then down at the dice again 'But there aren't any pips on these dice' you'll say." 'Yes there are,' she'll say. 'And both dice rolled a one.' 'That's exactly the number you need to win,' you'll say. 'What a coincidence,' she'll reply, then begin to scoop up your coins. And you'll sit there, trying to wrap your head 'bout what just happened. And you'll realise something. A pair of ones isn't the winning throw! Not when you threw a six on your turn. That means she needed a pair of twos instead! Excitedly you'll explain what you've discovered. Only then do you know what she'll do?"

"No idea, Mat."

"Then she'll reach over and rub the blank faces of her dice. And then, with a perfectly straight face, she'll say, 'I'm sorry. There was a spot of dirt on the dice. Clearly you'll see they actually came up as twos!' And she'll believe it. She'll bloody believe it!"

"Incredible."

"Only that's not the end of it!"

I had presumed it wouldn't be Mat."

" "She scoops up all of your coins. And then every other woman in the room will come over and congratulate her on throwing that pair of twos! The more you complain, the more those bloody women will join in the argument. You'll be outnumbered in a moment, and each of those women will explain to you how those dice clearly read twos, and how you really need to stop behaving like a child. Every single flaming one of them will see the twos! even the prudish woman who has hated your woman from birth - since your woman's granny stole the other woman's granny's honeycake recipe when they were both maids - that woman will side against you."

"They're nefarious creatures indeed."

"By the time they're done, you'll be left with no coin, several lists worth of errands to run and what clothing to wear and a splitting headache. You'll sit there and stare at the table and begin to wonder, just maybe, if those dice didn't read twos after all. If only to preserve what's left of your sanity. That's what it's like to reason with a woman, I tell you."

 

Mat Cauthon to Talmanes"

 

 

 

Pure gold.

 

 

Also, the aiel joke "Why does Far Dareis Mai use hand-language? Because they can't stop talking, even when they're not talking". So brilliant!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A couple of snippets..

 

Perrin had such a serene marriage, with a smiling, gentle wife.

 

Yeah, right...

 

 

 

Sticking a wedge of dark yellow cheese and a butt end of bread into his pocket, he stuffed the basket well under the seat. He was hungry, but someone in the kitchens had been in too much of a hurry; most of the basket was filled by a clay pot full of oysters, but the kitchens had forgotten to cook them.

 

And I'll bet only half of them worked < whistle >

Edited by FarShainMael
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most of you took all of the good stuff, but the one that sicks out to me as a LoL moment is:

Avi, Min, and Birgitte siting around drinking themselves into a stuper shortly after the Warder bonding that gave them all insight into what Rand and Elayne were doing (and feeling)!

 

That is one of the funniest scenes into the series.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love Juilin in the Ronde Macura scene.

 

“If you don’t talk,” Nynaeve told her, scowling, “I’ll let Juilin have you. He’s a Tairen thief-catcher, and he knows how to bring out a confession as quickly as any Whitecloak Questioner. Don’t you, Juilin?”

 

“Some rope to tie her,” he said, grinning a grin so villainous that Elayne almost tried to step away from him, “some rags to gag her until she is ready to talk, some cooking oil and salt . . . ” His chuckle curdled Elayne’s blood. “She will talk.” Mistress Macura held herself rigidly against the wall, staring at him, eyes as wide as they would go. Luci looked at him as if he had just turned into a Trolloc, eight feet tall and complete with horns.

 

...(Later)

 

“Juilin,” she asked hesitantly, “what were you going to do with the salt and cooking oil? Not exactly,” she added more quickly. “Just a general idea.”

 

He looked at her for a moment. “I do not know. But they did not, either. That is the trick of it; their minds made up worse than I ever could. I have seen a tough man break when I sent for a basket of figs and some mice. You have to be careful, though. Some will confess anything, true or not, just to escape what they imagine. I do not think those two did, though.”

 

She did not either. She could not repress a shiver, however. What would somebody do with figs and mice? She hoped she stopped wondering before she gave herself nightmares.

 

Even Elayne starts to wonder, even knowing it's a trick!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most of you took all of the good stuff, but the one that sicks out to me as a LoL moment is:

Avi, Min, and Birgitte siting around drinking themselves into a stuper shortly after the Warder bonding that gave them all insight into what Rand and Elayne were doing (and feeling)!

 

That is one of the funniest scenes into the series.

 

I have heard of this sceene in passing, but don't remember it...where is it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most of you took all of the good stuff, but the one that sicks out to me as a LoL moment is:

Avi, Min, and Birgitte siting around drinking themselves into a stuper shortly after the Warder bonding that gave them all insight into what Rand and Elayne were doing (and feeling)!

 

That is one of the funniest scenes into the series.

 

I have heard of this sceene in passing, but don't remember it...where is it?

Winters Heart Chapter 12 A Lily in Winter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

moiraine wanting to sick wasps on lan, but also actually reading the scene where she first met lan for the first time, after reading her thoughts on it in another book.

oh, and mat beating the crap out of gawyn and galad while he was very weak, that was a laugh riot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cadsuane to Moiraine in New Spring:

 

"I will visit your room tonight, if you are not there I will find you and make you weep...you can dry your tears on that shawl you think makes you invincible...it does not."

 

This was funny to me.

 

Teslyn to Mat:

 

"you might want to no dress so flamboyantly, Master Cauthon. Ten drunken Tinkers could no attract as much attention as you.." (paraphrase)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...