Advice Column for Emo Teenage Girls

[Wayward_fool]

*nibbles Henry's ears*

 

*notices everyone's stares*

 

What?

[Vanion]

mmeesh, you should like so totally slap that Amy bitch. Right in the face! Right in front of the whole school! One slap for every photoshopped picture!

 

As for the math teacher, you should like sooooooo totally wear a really low cut v-neck and a pushup bra, then lean over his desk to ask him questions so he can get a totally great view! It will drive him crazy!

 

And Daruya, you should just insinuate that if he was dating mmeesh, you'd totally have a threesome. He'll start dating mmeesh so fast your head will spin! Then, you just totally lead him on thinking it will happen!

[Nynaeve]

So, I was walking down some stairs. And they were, like, really steep. I felt mocked by their steepness to the point that I started stumping my feet on'em and totally flaunting my gorgeous hair about as I stumped stumped STUMPED! THEN I found that that this Amy girl Meesha talked about totally climbed them the other day and I felt oh so very betrayed and violated.

 

How am I ever going to recover from this trauma? I feel like my heart has been vacuum cleaned, drenched with gasoline and then set on fire WHILE totally making pretty pretty lights... and then I felt a bit better and went outside to have a smoke because my dad would totally throw me down those stairs if he knew I smoked... which I'm thinking the stairs would enjoy... but me, not so much.

 

So, where do babies come from again and do they smoke there?  >.>

 

 

 

 

Nyn

[Vanion]

Pfft! Babies come from the stork. Everyone knows that! And I doubt that the stork smokes. He needs his wings for flapping and his beak for holding the bundle!

 

Like, Duh! Everyone knows that!

[Minuet]

So, Van there is this totally hot guy I like. Now he thinks I am a geek and told his friends he won't date me. He even complained to his best friend that no girls like him. They remind him that I do and he says I don't count. What am I to do about that? I mean dang I am not that geeky. I just wear glasses for goodness sake.

[LilyElizabeth]

*snuggles her sister* Sis, he is sooo not good enough for you, anyway. NOBODY else will date him, you know. What would that do to your rep? Let me fix you up with that hot guy in my Math class. He just got dumped, and I heard him say he likes girls with glasses. (Or was that girls look better when you have had enough glasses?) You know the one, the one with red hair, and the Irish accent?

 

[Minuet]

Like OMG an Irish accent. *Runs off with Lily to Math class*

[LilyElizabeth]

I'll like pass him a note and like ask is he like likes you.

 

[Minuet]

Sweet. If he does have him meet me in the back of the cafeteria during lunch.

[LilyElizabeth]

Did you like say like behind the cafeteria?  :o Like make-out corner?

 

[U4ea]

I have a BIG, HUGE, MONSTEROUS PROBLEM!

 

It's like freakin' huge, I tell you!

 

 

I just joined the Tower yesterday and I can't figure out which Ajah I want to pick! There aren't any Warders to fawn over me and the other kids are being mean to me! Did you know the Reds around here LIKE men? I was like "woah! didn't see that one comin'!" My mentor... bah, don't even have one of those and the MoN is a pain in the arse! You gotta help me!

[Minuet]

Yes, Lily!

 

Oh, Vanion you so have to help this new person, this sounds VERY serious!

[Wayward_fool]

Yeah, that dang MoN! Says she wants to give me a private spanking. And TO THIS DAY, has only given me 45546 and a half sessions. (The half was caused by an interruptive novice. *grumbles*)

 

Can you believe that? *shakes head* That's less than the number of sessions Jhae has given me. She needs to be spanked I say! SPANKED!

[Liitha]

you know i am so bad with names, but there this totally popular song but i cant find the text and everyone know it, and i think i just so have to learn it... its something about barbie and ken but yeah i cant remember the band or anything ...do you like know it and the text or something?

 

 

[Tigara]

As in like, Barbie Girl, by Aqua....that's so the 90's, like come on. :P

[Ashaman DeRouge]

Oh my god what insane thread have i stumbled into.

 

I mean, what in holy hell is going on here

[Daruya]

Oh my god what insane thread have i stumbled into.

 

I mean, what in holy hell is going on here

 

*points to link below*

 

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,52407.0.html

 

This will explain everything!  ;D

[Elgee]

Pfft don't let Daruya fool you! That thread she linked you to is the joke ... THIS one is the real thing!

 

*Turns her cheek towards Dar*

[Daruya]

*lets loose with a ringing slap*

 

You just behave yourself, Elgee, or I won't let you hang out with Henry anymore!

 

*sniffs and flounces away*

 

;D

[Vanion]

*screams loudly and pulls at hair!*

 

Damnit! Why so many questions! Why is it always me who has to answer everything!

 

*sits in the corner and cries*

[Liitha]

heh i figure if we are doinf the teen colum we need to revert back to whenever we were teens :p in my case the 90's :P

 

*hands Vanvan a big plate of icecream with cream and chocolate sauce and bananas and peanuts and nonstop (a type of smarties just better)*

[Elgee]

Like ... he's totally gonna break out in spots!  :o

[Naeann]

Is it that time of the month Vanessa?

[LilyElizabeth]

*tosses Vanessa some Midol*

 

[Minuet]

So, like I was a teen in the 80's you know and like it was totally tubular and all. So, this dude so is like checking me out in study hall and I noticed it was the captain of the football team. I about dropped a calf right there. It was awesome.

Oh, Vanessa are you like having a total break down? You know like boy aren't worth the worry okay, so like dry your eyes and take some Midol and deal okay?