Feelings on Perrin and Faile

[tlburchhardt]

This has been going through my head for a while now. I personally have no problem with Perrin and Failes relationship. It can be over the top at times, but I would have reacted in a similar fashion as Perrin if anything happened to my wife. As a side note, I am not trying to offend anyone if they take this the wrong way. I was just curious if there is a correlation.

 

Thank you

[brolie]

I don't like the relationship because it ruined (or was coincidentally timed in the ruin) of Perrin's character.

 

On the other hand, if these were people I knew, I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. Sometimes I worry that I am like Faile in certain ways (maybe that's even the reason that I hate her) and if I was with someone like Perrin, I wouldn't call it a good match either. It all depends on the person though, and I think Perrin and Faile are, no matter what, my least favorite couple because now I dislike both characters. I hate Gawyn, but I still like Egwene (now, not earlier books, ew) so I don't mind their match. If any of that makes any sense.

[Himiko]

I voted "I like them and I'm in a relationship", though its worth noting I've always been fond of Perrin/Faile since long before I was in one- so, I guess, both?

[mb]

Have not voted.

 

Like their relationship; and also both characters.

 

Currently am single.

[Jon Paul]

They're crazy and I am single.

 

I know the whole "opposites attract" thing is "romantic" but it generally doesn't work like that in real life. Temperamentally, culturally, morally, they are very different from one another. If they were an American 21st Century couple, chances are they'd end in divorce within three years with a kid or two,

[Ferreira]

My favourite character has always been Perrin, so when it first became apparent that Faile was his one and only love interest, I was a bit hesitate about liking her. I found her a bit outlandish, not to mention completely opposite in terms of personality with Perrin. She isn't an awful character, but at the same time, I never did completely come around for her. I love Perrin's devotion to her, and her's to him, and their relationship in general just works. It's not perfect, but it works. I guess...well, they are really cute together right? That must count for something!

[EpitomyofShyness]

I'm in a relationship, and I won't lie, until I was in a relationship I couldn't stand them. Then again I was younger then so maybe that has something to do with it.

 

Now, I'm rather fond of the couple, purely because unlike so many others in Randland they don't stab each other in the back. They may bicker, but they always make up. And its never abusive. Although they might not be ideal for each other, they are happy together.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

i avoid actual human interaction whenever possible. i like perrin. i don't mind faile. i don't care about their relationship. it doesn't bother me or shock me or annoy me. i don't like the endless story arc that involved them, and that sometimes colors my opinion of their characters and their relationship. as in, oh lord, not another chapter on this crap, please. so i didn't vote cause that wasn't one of the choices. but it's an interesting question.

[Miseo]

I'm married, I love my wife and I totally understand doing anything in my power to protect her. But with that being said, the Perrin/Faile relationship is probably my 2nd least aspect of the series (the least being everything that has to do with Elaida being Amyrlin) he is such a strong figure and to have such an obvious weakness is hard to stand sometime

[jsbrads]

Faile is not abusive! what book are you up to?

I do think it takes a certain type for a successful marriage between a female Italian immigrant and a male from northern California, but I have to say they have a very disfunctional relationship. Is it believable? Yes. Can they work out their differences? Maybe, but let me be clear, as much as miscommunication is a normal part of marriage, Faile is a failure at working toward the solution, Perrin appears to be trying and generally not the one creating problems.

[RyanL24]

They bug me. I think my main problem is the whole "yell at me so that I know that you think that I'm strong enough to be your wife." I hate yelling. I hate hearing other people yell at other people. It stresses me out for some reason. I probably was raised wrong, my parents never had fights.

 

 

It just reminds me of how a girl will go find a guy who will smack her around, because her dad smacked her mom around...... and it's just what seems right. It ain't right.

[EpitomyofShyness]

They bug me. I think my main problem is the whole "yell at me so that I know that you think that I'm strong enough to be your wife." I hate yelling. I hate hearing other people yell at other people. It stresses me out for some reason. I probably was raised wrong, my parents never had fights.

 

 

It just reminds me of how a girl will go find a guy who will smack her around, because her dad smacked her mom around...... and it's just what seems right. It ain't right.

 

No nothing wrong with you, my parents fought a lot but I still hate yelling. I start crying if someone shouts at me.

[Taryn]

I am married, and think they are crazy.

 

The absolute devoted creepy type of adoration Perrin has for Faile is a bit disturbing, and her treatment of him and how she thinks relationships are supposed to work is bizzare. That said, they are from different countries with different ways of doing things, so there's that. But, overall, i do not enjoy reading about them because i don't know what crazy unintelligible thing is going to happen next.

[randsc]

Well, it's kinda personal and probably TMI...

 

But my wife shares certain preferences with Faile, at least as a change of pace. Although I suppose maybe she just sees ripped clothes as an excuse to go shopping. And like Perrin, I've never been real comfortable with it. So I guess I find them realistic, but still a bit creepy.

[lilltempest]

Well, it's kinda personal and probably TMI...

 

But my wife shares certain preferences with Faile, at least as a change of pace. Although I suppose maybe she just sees ripped clothes as an excuse to go shopping. And like Perrin, I've never been real comfortable with it. So I guess I find them realistic, but still a bit creepy.

 

ROTFLMAO!!!

 

I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but as I decided to check the board while I'm waiting on dinner and that made me howl with laughter. That said...

 

I like them and find them believable. I also think that, other than Nynaeve/Lan and Rand/Min, they are one of the only couples with a good chance at a stable and loving relationship (as well as an equal one!). Faile is one of the four females in the series (the others being Nyn, Min, and Birgitte) who does not think all men (including her husband) are worthless morons who should sit silently in a corner until a woman gives them orders to move. It's nice to see a woman want her man with his balls intact instead of on a chain around her neck *coughEGWENEcough*.

 

Honestly, I didn't always feel this way, and it took me a while to finally "get" Faile and Perrin. I really liked Perrin at first - honestly, he was my second favorite character behind Rand until after the fight in the Two Rivers - but then I began to dislike him. I blamed Faile for it (mainly because his incessant whining about her was irritating, but also because he seemed to become a complete and utter wussy moron after his moment of glory defending EF), but as I kept reading, I realized it was not her fault at all that he seemed to change. His response to her wasn't really his fault either, though, considering he was brought up to treat women like delicate little flowers who must always be protected and cherished (and that he, a big, massively strong dude, could hurt people if he wasn't cautious). What she wants him to be is the very thing he was taught to bury so deep inside of him that it's difficult to find it anymore. Furthermore, the way he fretted over her was due to the way he was raised to treat women added on with the fact that he truly loves her (so take that "women are precious and you should die for them" idea and multiply it by a million). So the two of them started out behind the eight ball, despite Bashere's advice and the fact that Faile managed to push him into letting "the beast" loose by punching him repeatedly until he spanked her.

 

I think they're on the right track now, though. Faile is making an effort to honor some of Perrin's cultural customs and Perrin is beginning to chill out a bit. I think he also may start to understand her more, something a lot of readers aren't able to do, I think. I've seen people complain that Faile wants to be belittled or treated like a child (or, even worse, "abused"), but that isn't what she wants at all. Yes, she wants Perrin to stand up to her. Yes, she wants Perrin to put his foot down if she goes over the line. But the reason for her desires is not because she has some secret desire to be abused (though she may be into a little S&M ).

 

Instead, she wants to know he will do what he thinks is right, and attempt to dissuade her from a course of action that is foolish or will harm her/them/people she loves. She wants to know that he'll support and love her, but also have the balls to stand up to her if she's wrong or being stupid (and she will do the same to him!). She wants him to be strong enough to be a match for her own strength, which she is confident in. A female wolf does not want a shi tzu for a mate, she wants a wolf. Likewise, she expects her mate to recognize her strength, and treating her like a china doll is not recognizing her strength. Treating her like that is a good way to ruin their relationship, since he will end up losing all of her respect and being trampled by her when she doesn't even realize she's doing it (I have a bit of experience in that one...). So yeah, I get her. I also get him a bit better now, and I think their relationship is fine and that, if they continue attempting to understand each other, they'll both be stronger together than apart, which is a good thing. /rambling

[tlburchhardt]

I do think it takes a certain type for a successful marriage between a female Italian immigrant and a male from northern California

 

Funniest thing I have ever read on the forums!

[Didgya]

Voted "Like them and in a relationship"

Why?

They defy the simple, I love you and you love me forever and perfectly yawner that all book and movie relationships like to proffer.

-Yes they love each other and get married but I like how they still are getting to know each other and figuring each other out. It's ongoing just like a real relationship.

-In-laws are nuts and you find out the often strange relationship your significant other has with their blood family (adding to the confusion )

-When real issues crop up you find out how much you are willing to do or not to do for your husband/wife.

-Jealousy is viewed different by each other (even when nothing is going on)

-Your expectations of your husband/wife aren't always (or ever) what's going to happen.

-Husband/wife want the best for each other...as long as it's what they think is best.

Perrin and Faile show all of this and more, so RJ was awsome describing their relationship.

Yet I do agree that Perrin's story arc could have been manicured(edit, edit, edit) and still show this depth of relationship.

Reading Mat and Tuon's relationship is different that Perrin/Faile so RJ did a good job of giving them and most other relationships, a non-uniform feel. I wonder how much more of Mat/Tuon together we'll get in the books? This has turned into a ramble...

[Edsel]

Their relationship has been tedious at times because I'm a genteel Southerner and Faile has a very passionate, fiery Latina approach to how she treats relationships that I find a little irritating. So often I want to yell, "Stop the gameplaying and just tell him what you want/mean/need woman!" That being said, I actually like Faile, and I think they are both getting back on track as very likeable characters.

 

I'm much more irritated by Egwene and Gawyn. He needs to grow some "*" and gain her respect, and as much as I loved her ascent to power, now that she's there she needs to get over herself a little. She seems to think that all men, and many women, are beneath her. I was finally enjoying her character... but power seems to have brought a return of her earlier haughtiness. Of course I'm sure I'll start liking her again before the end of the series. LOL

[Kahsm]

They bug me. I think my main problem is the whole "yell at me so that I know that you think that I'm strong enough to be your wife." I hate yelling. I hate hearing other people yell at other people. It stresses me out for some reason. I probably was raised wrong, my parents never had fights.

 

It just reminds me of how a girl will go find a guy who will smack her around, because her dad smacked her mom around...... and it's just what seems right. It ain't right.

 

^^ This. While I love teasing in a relationship, to the point where almost every compliment is disguised in some jibe, the battle of wits should not extend to serious matters. If you can't stop and have a conversation about something, it's over. But then again, that's the problem with almost every fantasy/sci-fi relationship ever.

 

Why won't superman/batman/spiderman just tell her who he is!!!

[trakand_01]

I voted that I like them and am in a relationship. I wouldnt particularly say they're my favourite couple - Rand and Min probably win that one, but I do like them. I think how you're brought up has a lot to do with it and it's exactly the same with my other half and me. We're both only children but whereas I was brought up in a close knit family where we saw my grandparents every week and had family outings (my parents are both only children also so I have a small family), he was brought up in a family which is actually massive, but still after 8 years together I havent met 95% of it. His parents went on holiday together and a good argument was always the first option when a problem arose. Blame first, think later. He frustrates me, I frustrate him because I spend a lot of time wondering what my parents think and what they will think to any decision I'm going to make.

 

Of course that's nothing like Faile/Perrin but it does highlight that being brought up differently makes differences to you. Experiences too; Faile is what, 2nd in line to the Saldean throne? Subterfuge, danger and a very great risk that someone will bump you off are all part of 'daily life' for her. Perrin was part of a quiet farming family.

 

Also, remember that Perrin has since lost everyone dear to him. His entire family was killed, right down to little Paet. Faile genuinely is the only 'family' he has; is it surprising he wants to wrap her in cotton wool? She is a senior member of a powerful family, and just like being a woman in a boardroom these days, being able to stand your ground means a lot in those situations. If she was all mild and meek, no-one would take notice of her. She likes Perrin to shout at her to prove he thinks she's a worthy adversary - so? I like to be considered worthy competition too; nodding, bobbing and soaking up other people's opinions because I have none of my own is not for me.

 

The bottom line is that in relationships, there will always be points of contention. What you have to do (which Perrin and FAile are learning to do) is to pick out the ones which actually matter, and ignore the others. Let them go. My other half is regularly 'on the last hop' as I call it. I like to do things well in advance, he likes to do them at the very last minute. But, he's rarely late so in the grand scheme of things, does it matter when it gets done, so long as it does? No. All relationships are the same.

[Winespring Patron]

I like them and I an doing fine solo

 

I was concerned with Faile's possessiveness but apparently she feels more secure now. Her Cha Faile intrigues amuse me and I have no doubt that Perrin is aware of most of her schemes, thanks to Balwer. I do wonder if he would confront her about her decision to dispose of Masema, as he had a chance to rid himself of Masema at the start of the Battle of Malden but passed on it because it might have ruined his tactical surprise.

 

I was a bit surprised about her attitude towards Mat in TOM, it seems very Nynaeve-like (before she mellowed). I went back as far of the Stone of Tear in tDR and tSR to see if there was a scene with the three of them conversing but couldn't find any. The only thing I found was Faile scolding Perrin for not demanding a better room in the Stone, she mentioned that Mat certainly had better quarters; to which Perrin replied that Mat likes gaudy things...

 

The only thing I can surmise is that she, upon reaching Caemlyn had heard about the "Prince of Ravens" exploits and reputation and worried about anything which might dim or subsume Perrin's glory.

 

She never struck me as prudish before but I never figured that she worry about Perrin being corrupted by Mat's influence.