I haz a sad ....

[LilyElizabeth]

This week at work I have had client after client who has been devastated by a loved one's suicide. And one coworker lost a cousin to suicide. For some reason, I have been thin skinned about it. I have to learn to block it out or I'm going to burn out. Luckily, I start my own therapy on the 2nd. 

[Elgee]

23 minutes ago, LilyElizabeth said:

This week at work I have had client after client who has been devastated by a loved one's suicide. And one coworker lost a cousin to suicide. For some reason, I have been thin skinned about it. I have to learn to block it out or I'm going to burn out. Luckily, I start my own therapy on the 2nd. 

 

Oh man ... that's got to be so hard! *hugs Lily gently*

[HeavyHalfMoonBlade]

That must be really tough, Lily. Will be thinking of you and sending you spiritual hugs.

[LilyElizabeth]

Thanks, both of you!

[Dar'Jen Ab Owain]

(Hugs Lily) You are in my prayers, Lily. It can take a toll being the one folks turn to.

[LilyElizabeth]

I will retire in 7 years and a few months. That seems like a long time right now... 

[Cross]

years fly by quick though. 

[Rhea]

On 1/6/2024 at 9:11 PM, Cross said:

... 'grief is love with nowhere to go' 

 

Grief has its grips on me again. You see, my brother passed away a few weeks ago.  I have not felt like talking about it until now. Until I saw this post and was reading through. Cross, you got me! I have never heard that phrase before. But now I know what I am feeling, and it isn't grief, it is love that has no where to go. Love for my brother. He was there for me when I was little. He was my protector. My big brother. Then we grew up and he was still there, just not every day like when we were young, but still there. No matter how much time passed, he was there. Now, as the days, and weeks are passing, he isn't there. I don't know what to do with this love for him. 

[Cross]

first of all my deepest sympathies. loss is...hard and that is both the simplest and weakest way to say it. its so so complex. i can totally relate. not knowing where to send or what to do with the utter wealth of love that continues to well up inside you after having someone just...removed from your life. you cant hug them, you cant pour that pain of absence into their arms. or verbally tell them everything about them that you miss. 

 

its a void into which we scream all the love that cant be spent. 

 

i wish i could tell you what to do with it. what works for one may not work for another, and in the end we have to figure out how to navigate this path. but for me. that saying, helped. in itself i began to understand the pain more. why i hurt specifically. i also found an outlet. something my mom loved, something we worked on together, and i poured my love into that project. 

[Elgee]

*Hugs Rhea* I'm glad you are now able to share your pain here. Every little bit helps.

Can't really say more than Cross has put so beautifully.

[LilyElizabeth]

Rhea, I'm so sorry you lost your brother. You were very lucky to have such a great brother, and losing him must hurt terribly. *hugs*

[Rhea]

You are all the best. There were 5 kids in our family. Four girls and 1 boy. I am the youngest. We have lost our parents, our two oldest sisters and now our brother. Its just me and my sister now. Getting older, losing people, its part of life but its not easy.

 

@Cross When I was talking with my brother before he died he had been working on a big family genealogy project, a projects that he mostly finished. His son is working on it now, but he never got to go to Ireland to see where our family came from. I promised him I would go and would help my nephew finish the project. Sounds a lot like what you did too.  My love, my grief, to pour into something new in the name of my brother, it is healing. 

[Cross]

yeah. its a bit like we're finishing their unfinished business, which in itself i dont think many people realize is a source of our pain as well. knowing what was left behind undone. 

[Dar'Jen Ab Owain]

Rhea, I am so sorry for your loss, but am happy to hear you can help continue his legacy. 

 

We all have to find our own way to carry on. Find a way to offer our love for them in a new way. ❤️ 

[Rhea]

Thank you all. He was an amazing person. He made his corner of the world better than he found it. 

[Taymist]

On 1/20/2024 at 2:01 AM, Wayward_fool said:

Wait.... wait... wait.... TWINFLOWER PASSED AWAY??? *jaw drops* When? How? Wby? (I didn't know WhiteWolf and Kristine but I mourn for them too)

I... *heartbroken*

 

 

On 1/20/2024 at 6:35 AM, Delenn said:

We (staff) don't have all the details, and have only ever been notified via Facebook. I'd say @Taymist is a reliable verification. Perhaps she has more information?

 

 

Yeah, really sorry you weren't aware, Boopsy. *hugs*

 

Manny (Twin's banded and Warder) and I were in touch with Twinnie's husband, Bill, offline and he kept us updated once she was no longer able to communicate with us herself. She was 59 when she passed in October 2020. I'm not at liberty to share details but suffice to say it wasn't really a shock. She'd been ill and in pain for quite some time, and had had complex health issues for many years which resulted in hospitalisation several times.

 

Kristine was only ever an active member at the Band as far as I know, and predominantly when we were based at our offsite proboards. She wasn't so well or widely known on the main DM site. She died of sudden cardiac arrest in September 2017 leaving a young son and daughter behind. She was very good friends with our Twinnie too given the Band was generally a very tight knit group.

 

WhiteWolf aka Owen was the RP Admin for many years and he passed, also unexpectedly, in December 2021 after a brief undiagnosed/misdiagnosed illness that got out of hand. His partner 'phoned me to break the news in the January. He wouldn't let her tell me that he'd been ill or how bad it was prior to that because he didn't want to spoil my Christmas.😭

 

 

Lily that sounds really rough, I simply can't imagine shouldering that.

 

Rhea, my sincere condolences. *big hugs*

[Millon]

On 1/16/2024 at 12:37 PM, Taymist said:

🥰 Awww. I don't think some of us ever truly leave do we? lol *hugs tight*

I think it's something in the Moat water. Compels people to come back.

 

Rhea, I'm sorry for your loss. My big brother, only brother,  and I aren't as close as I'd like to be but I know his loss would ruin me. Prayin for you and yours.

[Rhea]

@Millon Time goes by too fast, relationships take work, and I wish I had worked harder and spent more time with my brother. We always said we’d do this or that but put it off for whatever reason. I regret that. 

[HeavyHalfMoonBlade]

It is true what, er, someone famous said (was it Mark Twain? Cannot remember), it is the things we did not do that we regret, not the things that we did. I suppose it is important to remember that in relationships, even when you might think it is referring to something else.

[Elgee]

We have a good saying in Afrikaans: As is verbrande hout. Ie Ash is burnt wood. Meaning you can't turn burnt wood back into unburnt wood. Just try not to burn more wood.

[Cross]

so this thought just popped up on my feed and oh my gosh yes! 

 

'be the things you loved most about the people who are gone'

[Ryrin]

Rhea, I’m so sorry on your loss. May his memory be a blessing. 

[LilyElizabeth]

I recently lost (4 weeks or so ago) a friend of the family. It was less than 6 months (three, I think) from cancer diagnosis to the end.

 

2 weeks ago, my brother passed. I didn’t know him well. He was much older than I and lived across the country, but I still felt a loss.

 

Last week, my boss’ husband died very suddenly with no warning at all. She is devastated, and I hurt for her.

 

Can it stop now?

[Cross]

geeesh lily *hugs* 

 

 

[Wayward_fool]

One of the brightest sparks of my university life passed away this week. Suddenly and unbelievably. I haven't yet started to grieve because I'm still numb from the news. But my heart is broken and I am still unable to process everything. She was a choir mate, someone I went clubbing with and just general ball of energy. I can't understand....

 

And I can't see her for the last time either because, I recently moved far away from her. So... that's that, I guess....