Ridiculous plot changes you would enjoy

[DojoToad]

5 hours ago, Kalessin said:

And the next time we see her, she is married to the tree and happily raising a bunch of little monsters ...

And these monsters are lethally parasitic to trollocs - Last Battle won without a shot fired...

[Harldin]

On 10/5/2021 at 1:20 PM, Elder_Haman said:

Bela and Pips are actually Ponies and at the end of the series we learn that Friendship Is the real Magic. 

And they have a Foal called Beips

[TheMountain]

Voldemort is the primary antagonist of the story

[Kalessin]

While we are on the Great Confessions part - just before they disappear over Falme, Rand is approached by Rogosh and taken to a little pub for a man-to-man discussion, during which Rogosh confesses that Eagle-Eye was a fabrication, and that he is actually Elephant-Nose, but preferred not to be known by that nickname. After this baring of the soul, he sticks his nose into Rand's beer mug, which Rand has not touched, sucks it all up and then blows it into his open mouth. Rand is duly impressed ... and Artur also appears, to drag a somewhat tipsy Rogosh away, and likewise confesses - he is not Hawkwing either, but Dingopaw, on account of having grown up with a dingo puppy - which his first girlfriend stole from him and sauteed as an act of revenge for him not paying her sufficient attention ... which tale became widely known the tale of The Baby That Stole My Dingo ...

 

Meanwhile, after the Last Ballet, Narg escapes into Caemlyn and sets up as a Trolloc Beautician, aiming to share all the greatest Trolloc beauty secrets with an appreciative human audience ...

[Kalessin]

In addition, one secret that the Aiel Wise Ones have kept hidden from everybody except of course the Aiel Clan Chiefs - long ago, about the time of the building of Rhuidean, the Aes Sedai who assisted in its building passed on a very useful piece of web spinning to the Jenn Aiel Wise Ones, who then passed it on to the Aiel Wise Ones. This web spinning was the same one used for Someshta and his ilk, except it was used on midden heaps as there was insufficient organic material in the Waste. These are known as the Middens of the Sphere, and they head north to the Blight to fight Trollocs and Myrddraal. They roll up parts of themselves into spheres to throw at Trollocs, and when such a sphere hits a Trolloc, it rots away instantly - and so does the rest of its fist and the controlling Myrddraal if they are linked to one.

 

Owing to a mishearing (and a drunk Clan Chief, or maybe it was a not-so-wise tipsy Wise One) some Aiel have been wondering if He Who Comes With The Dawn would be born of a Maiden of the Spear or a Midden of the Sphere. Rand is absurdly grateful it is one and not the other!!! ?

[Ralph]

1 hour ago, Kalessin said:

In addition, one secret that the Aiel Wise Ones have kept hidden from everybody except of course the Aiel Clan Chiefs - long ago, about the time of the building of Rhuidean, the Aes Sedai who assisted in its building passed on a very useful piece of web spinning to the Jenn Aiel Wise Ones, who then passed it on to the Aiel Wise Ones. This web spinning was the same one used for Someshta and his ilk, except it was used on midden heaps as there was insufficient organic material in the Waste. These are known as the Middens of the Sphere, and they head north to the Blight to fight Trollocs and Myrddraal. They roll up parts of themselves into spheres to throw at Trollocs, and when such a sphere hits a Trolloc, it rots away instantly - and so does the rest of its fist and the controlling Myrddraal if they are linked to one.

 

Owing to a mishearing (and a drunk Clan Chief, or maybe it was a not-so-wise tipsy Wise One) some Aiel have been wondering if He Who Comes With The Dawn would be born of a Maiden of the Spear or a Midden of the Sphere. Rand is absurdly grateful it is one and not the other!!! ?

 

But which is it... 

[RhienneAgain]

On 9/12/2021 at 5:22 PM, Harldin said:

Tam kills Rand and Elayne in the Red Wedding 2

Aviendha steals Marin al'Vere's face and offs Tam in revenge after feeding him a mutton pie made from his favourite sheep.

[EmreY]

I do wish someone would do a parody of the Wheel of Time.  Or is there one already online somewhere?

[Harldin]

2 hours ago, EmreY said:

I do wish someone would do a parody of the Wheel of Time.  Or is there one already online somewhere?

Ep 1 Leave off taking the P***

Ep 2 Don't weep for me Menetheren 

Ep 3 Thom sings the Blues

Ep 4 Drogon returns from Westeros

Ep 5 Blood calls Blood nasty names

Ep 6 Those Flaming Witches

Ep 7 Who forgot the Torches

Ep 8 The Eye Sedai and the Eye eel go to the Eye

Edited December 20, 2021 by Harldin

[bringbackthomsmoustache]

Logain is found wandering in the white tower grounds conversing with a penguin glove puppet he calls "Mr Flibble".

 

Logain (listening to the puppet talk in his ear and then addressing it): "We couldn't possibly do that ... who would clear up the mess!"

[Whittle]

7 hours ago, EmreY said:

I do wish someone would do a parody of the Wheel of Time.  Or is there one already online somewhere?

It’s already on Amazon Prime. 

[TheChief]

Tarmon Gai'don is actually an epic match of beer-pong.

[Sabio]

Who doesn't want Ishy to chop off Rand's hand then shout "I am your father"!!!!!!

Edited December 20, 2021 by Sabio

[VooDooNut]

2 minutes ago, Sabio said:

Who doesn't want to Ishy to chop off Rand's hand then shout "I am your father"!!!!!!

Looks like someone got their hands on the episode 8 script early! ?

[Sabio]

Sorry I should have put the spoiler tag on that.

[Spiritweaver1]

This isn't ridiculous I heard it on the internet.  Probably hacked from an Amazon server but apparently they couldn't get the video record. Of course it is hearsay so could be incorrect in minor details.

 

S2E1 Cold open.  Fade into a corporate board room with a table shaped in the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai.  There is a projection screen with the Amazon logo displayed.  Jeff Bezos is seated at the head,  To his right hand is a beautiful dark haired woman dressed all in white with silver jewelry with moonstones.  By each side of the projection screen are Rafe Judkins and JD Payne (show runner for Amazon's LOTR.  There are also two people kneeling who are wearing T-shirts with I like the Books in large letters on the front.

 

Jeff says "Rafe good job with S1.  Our plan to totally dominate the streaming world and stop the wheel of streaming is going great.  JD you better do your part and sow chaos in middle earth."  Both bow their heads in assent.  "Now what I want is a season 2 cross over episode where we learn that Sauron is really Ishamael in that version of the multiverse. Can you two do that for me!  This is extremely important to the great plan!"   Cut in close to Jeff's face and you see faint flames in his eyes.  One of the kneeling book fans says "You can't do  that it is not in the books".  The other one tries to stand and screams "I hate what you have done to WOT"  Jeff's face turns to solid flame.  We see weaves coming from the woman in white and the two book fans are squashed into a puddle which forms itself into the Amazon logo.  Jeff whose face is a solid flame channels and lifts the woman in white and says "Selene, I did not give you permission to channel.  If you ever do that again I will burn you to ash where you hang.  I would anyway but we are under pressure to add more women to the  board."  The camera does a fade and we get back to the show.    

 

Edited December 20, 2021 by Spiritweaver1
edit out a word

[Ksjh1316]

Tiger King turns out to be the Dragon and won the last battle by getting everyone hooked on meth for sex and feeding the forsaken to the starving tigers after their teeth fell out.

 

He also thinks Egwene is that bi*!? Carole Baskin and keeps hiring dark friends to take her out.

Edited December 21, 2021 by Ksjh1316

[elteryon]

Olver really is Gaidal and defeats the dark one Home Alone style.

[Guire]

5 hours ago, elteryon said:

Olver really is Gaidal and defeats the dark one Home Alone style.

Twice and twice shall he be marked with hot doorknob and clothes iron.

[Kalessin]

On 12/21/2021 at 11:03 AM, Sabio said:

Who doesn't want Ishy to chop off Rand's hand then shout "I am your father"!!!!!!

Me. I want Shaidar Haran to do that, and then shout, "I am your mother!"

[Kalessin]

On 12/20/2021 at 10:37 PM, Ralph said:

 

But which is it... 

That's for you to know, and me to find out ... ?

Edited December 22, 2021 by Kalessin
missspelling

[TheSmurf]

The Dark One actually won, and we have everything backwards. Rand in fact is merely a reborn wyrm.

[elteryon]

13 hours ago, Guire said:

Twice and twice shall he be marked with hot doorknob and clothes iron.

Thank you. I couldn't make myself find the words last night but I'm happy someone else finished this one off so eloquently. 

[dielsalder]

The plot change I'd like to see would be them trying to follow the story. The stuff they're making up is hot garbage.

[SingleMort]

On 12/20/2021 at 1:55 PM, Harldin said:

Ep 1 Leave off taking the P***

Ep 2 Don't weep for me Menetheren 

Ep 3 Thom sings the Blues

Ep 4 Drogon returns from Westeros

Ep 5 Blood calls Blood nasty names

Ep 6 Those Flaming Witches

Ep 7 Who forgot the Torches

Ep 8 The Eye Sedai and the Eye eel go to the Eye

Think episode 8 should have been "An Eye for an Aes Sedai"