There is this one important lesson I learned as a competitive swing dancer and as a dance instructor: the focus is the woman, making her look stunning and amazing. I've tried to keep that up in my life, especially with my wife. I wanted to make sure that wife's dream of being a counselor would be a reality and that her desire to always have a parent/family member to watch the kids would happen. To make this happen I was a stay at home dad for a couple of years while she worked and put my career on hold working any job that fit in and around her masters program to make that happen. I want her to shine. I'm currently commuting 2.5 hours everyday so we can live in a town where she can thrive at her job and our kids can be watched by her family. I hope my girls see that and learn that they can do anything and the expectation is the men around them are to help them thrive and shine.
The other thing I do is spur my daughters on to do whatever they want.
The most important thing and what these movements are emphasizing is for us men to listen. Just shut up and listen. Listen to your stories, to those pains and hurts we have caused, to what we can do better, how we can empower you. I'm so thankful you all have a chance to share and I hope we men take this time to reflect and learn and apologize for all the stupid, horrid stuff we have done.
So...I'm sorry. I'm sorry on behalf of the men who have scared you, hurt you, belittled you, shut you down and shut you up. It' not something to be glossed over, hushed, or dropped after the hype and publicity has fallen to the side. I will stand with you now and will continue to stand with you after the parades and marches are over. I will encourage and spur on my wife and daughters. I'm sorry we haven't focused on allowing you to shine, to be the ones fighting right along side you.
As I had said, it's a time for us to listen so if there is anything I've written that triggers something let me know, either here or PM me. We have a lot to learn and many layers that we need to strip away that our world has put on us that have cause you so much pain.
Thank you for sharing ladies.