Oh, hello there. I'm the DO and I want you to worship me like you've never worshiped before!!!!

[Aust]

BEGIN!

 

(YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT'S THE SHORTEST STATEMENT I'VE EVER MADE)

 

(ITS REALLY FUN TOO IF YOU IMAGINE DARTH-VADAR'ESQE BREATHING AS YOU READ MY WORDS)

 

(OH AND THIS IS A LITTLE LATE TOO, SO PLEASE DO TRY TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME)

 

(OOOH AND LAST POINT [i promise] PEOPLE WHO TABULATE POINTS WILL GAIN MY FAVOR!!!)

 

 

[dapianoplay3r]

Oh great and amazing, dark and evil, destroyer and ruler I bring you the first of all your gifts. I present you with a bunch of banannas.

 

Not just one bunch but a whole bunch

[Aust]

UMMM... WOW. THAT IS INDEED A 'BUNCH' OF BANANAS. THEY LOOK A LITTLE DIRTY BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL HAND WASH EACH ONE FOR ME. ACTUALLY I'D LIKE TO BE FED BANANAS BY HAND WHILE I LAY ON ONE OF THOSE COOL LOUNGE CHAIRS.

 

2 POINTS FOR THE BANANAS THEMSELVES, AND 3 POINTS FOR UNDERSTANDING THE APPROPRIATE SCALE OF GIFTS THAT I REQUIRE!!!!!

[Amadine]

Oh my Great Lord! You have come! Lucky i just washed and rebraided my um.... hair - you know where....

 

So i found you on google images Great Lord.... imagine my surprise when i found out that you are a Backyardian??!!!

 

 

That's you there in the front in the red and blue stripes, very fetching! *snickers*

 

 

Seriously though i bring you this....

 

 

First edition, leatherbound and signed by RJ.

[WWWwombat]

Oh Greatest Lord,

 

I have brought you Limi in a pokeball.

[Moghedian]

Hello, unique and magnificent DO, I'm the Nae'Blis your #1 sycophant. ^^

 

To show my appreciation and 'awestruckness' of your powers I bring you this...

MAN SATCHEL!

 

 

With automatic lasers that smite anyone who refers to it as that 'P' word and a never ending block of chocolate inside...

 

*Grovel*

[LilyElizabeth]

*grovels*

 

Knowing your particular taste, and that it is varied, I bring you an ever-full pitcher. Just think of which cocktail you are in the mood for and the pitcher will fill up with it. It should make all those nights of work much more pleasant.

 

I also give you a gorgeous slave to pour for you and keep the pitcher clean.

[Aust]

Oh my Great Lord! You have come! Lucky i just washed and rebraided my um.... hair - you know where....

 

So i found you on google images Great Lord.... imagine my surprise when i found out that you are a Backyardian??!!!

 

 

 

That's you there in the front in the red and blue stripes, very fetching! *snickers*

 

 

Seriously though i bring you this....

 

 

 

First edition, leatherbound and signed by RJ.

 

AMADINE!!! I'M PLEASED THAT YOU GROOMED YOUR ARMPIT HAIR BECAUSE IT WAS GETTING UNRULY AND UNKEMPT! 10 POINTS!!!

 

HOWEVER, I AM NOT A BACKYARD PERSON THAT YOU SPEAK OF! I'M NOT EVEN OUTDOORSY SO WHAT WOULD I BE DOING IN A BACKYARD?? -10 POINTS!!!

 

FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I LIKE THE BOOK. 5 POINTS!!!

 

Oh Greatest Lord,

 

I have brought you Limi in a pokeball.

 

THIS IS INDEED A GREAT GIFT! FOR GRANTING ME A WAY OF DEALING WITH THIS TERRIBLE TORMENTER OF SIGGIES, 10 POINTS!!! I AM PLEASED!

 

Hello, unique and magnificent DO, I'm the Nae'Blis your #1 sycophant. ^^

 

To show my appreciation and 'awestruckness' of your powers I bring you this...

MAN SATCHEL!

 

 

 

With automatic lasers that smite anyone who refers to it as that 'P' word and a never ending block of chocolate inside...

 

*Grovel*

 

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU ADDED THE LAZER!!! 5 POINTS!

 

(BTW I REALLY LOVE THIS TALKING IN LARGE BOLD CAP-LOCKS!)

 

 

*grovels*

 

Knowing your particular taste, and that it is varied, I bring you an ever-full pitcher. Just think of which cocktail you are in the mood for and the pitcher will fill up with it. It should make all those nights of work much more pleasant.

 

I also give you a gorgeous slave to pour for you and keep the pitcher clean.

 

LILY YOU KNOW MY TASTES WELL!! I LOVE TO DRINK, AND I LOVE SLAVES! WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN DRINKING AND SLAVES??

 

10 POINTS!!!

 

 

[Moon Sedai]

Oh Great Lord:

 

*grovels and bows deeply*

He who is the Mightiest of all.

I have searched far and wide for the appropriate gift to give you on such a monumental occasion.

 

I have only one thing I can give you:

 

He's not good for much but a laugh, but your new slave could you harvest all those bananas.

 

Or, you could feed him to your trollocs.

 

edited so I could better fix the photo of my gift to the Dark One. It's the same photo, i only just figured out how to post photos properly. I humbly apologize oh dark one and hope that in your mercy you at least allow me to get drunk before you send me to the Myrddraal.

[Krakalakachkn]

I wonder if that picture could be any bigger?

 

 

I meant to say....Yo!

 

I bring you, oh groovy and funky fresh DO, the gift of organics!

 

From now on, all your food will be so fresh and so clean, free of those pesky and malnutritious pesticides, GMO's, and whatnot. Not only will your food taste infinitely better, but your insides will be giddy with excitement!

 

Also, to help in this quest, I give you ownership of this store,

 

Now you can charge other consumers absurd prices in their attempt to feed their families something other than the dross from Kroger, or Pigglywiggly, or [insert generic grocery store] and eat whatever you want yourself. Also I give you Corki to do your taxes for free, forever!

[Moghedian]

*Grovelgrovelworshipworship*

Oh, omniscient, omnipotent Great Lord of the Dark, I have added up the points you have so generously given to your minions:

Dapiano- 5

Amadine- 5

Moghedian- 5

Wombat- 10

Lily- 10

 

I also bring you... A SHAMWOOHOO for whenever one of your guests foolishly spills their blood on your table.

[dapianoplay3r]

Oh great one I bring you an army of ruthless asian school girls.

They are almost finished basic training but here are the prototypes and drill exercises.

Nothing can stop them.

 

 

They also have hearts of steel just the way you like your army to be

[Blackhoof]

O GREAT AND MIGHTY AUST! I HUMBLY BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS!!!

 

*grovels for several minutes*

 

i would have posted sooner, presenting you with a long tirade of praise and many gifts, but *sob* my library internet time ran out before i could post it! *sob more*

 

i shall try to replicate it.... but... but... IT ISN'T THE SAME! *cries profusely*

 

O great and mighty DO! you are the glue that holds shayol Ghul together, and the gun that fires out metaphorical bullets! you are ultimate power, and everlasting darkness! you are mighty beyond compare and magnamonious to an absurd degree! I surrender myself to you utterly, and beg you to use me in any way you see fit! I am yours, Great Lord of the Dark!

 

i give you these humble gifts!

 

 

a mighty demon lord! him and his endless legions......

 

 

..... of games workshop models!

 

well, they LOOK cool, at least.....

 

another gift!

 

 

a mighty sea monster, the fricking T-REX OF THE SEA!

 

yet more humble pets for you!

 

 

ok, so the massive pig is dead, but..... im sure your not above a spot of necromancty when the need arises, am i right?

 

did someone say Necromancy! well, i did, but that still counts!

 

 

an undying, constantly-replenishing army that will never sleep, eat, be rerasoned with or act squirmish about doing horrible things!

 

i truly hope that you enjoy these petty gifts, Great Lord.

[Aust]

 

He's not good for much but a laugh, but your new slave could you harvest all those bananas.

 

Or, you could feed him to your trollocs.

 

AHMOONAH!! UM.. 5 POINTS? JUST BECAUSE HE'LL HARVEST MY BANANAS! (LOL!) PERHAPS I SHALL PEEL YOU LIKE A BANANA!!! BWA-HA-HAAAA!

 

 

 

 

From now on, all your food will be so fresh and so clean, free of those pesky and malnutritious pesticides, GMO's, and whatnot. Not only will your food taste infinitely better, but your insides will be giddy with excitement!

 

Also, to help in this quest, I give you ownership of this store,

 

Now you can charge other consumers absurd prices in their attempt to feed their families something other than the dross from Kroger, or Pigglywiggly, or [insert generic grocery store] and eat whatever you want yourself. Also I give you Corki to do your taxes for free, forever!

 

KRAK!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS TRYING TO WATCH MY CHOLESTEROL? MY DOCTOR TELLS ME I HAVE TOO MUCH BACON! SO I SMOTE HIM WITH MY WRATH, BUT I HAVE STARTED TO EAT BETTER (IT WAS MY NEW-AGE RESOLUTION). I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE PROBLEM WITH MY DIGESTION TOO - CAN YOU RECOMMEND ANYTHING FOR THAT??

 

I AM PLEASED WITH YOUR CONCERN FOR MY WELL-BEING!!! 10 POINTS!!!

 

 

 

*Grovelgrovelworshipworship*

Oh, omniscient, omnipotent Great Lord of the Dark, I have added up the points you have so generously given to your minions:

Dapiano- 5

Amadine- 5

Moghedian- 5

Wombat- 10

Lily- 10

 

I also bring you... A SHAMWOOHOO for whenever one of your guests foolishly spills their blood on your table.

 

 

I LOVE THIS!!!! I WANT THAT FUNNY LITTLE MAN TOO SO HE CAN SAY IT EVERY TIME I USE IT.

 

DO YOU THINK IT WOULD WORK AS TOILET TISSUE TOO?? 5 POINTS FOR MY GIFT AND 5 POINTS FOR YOUR TABULATIONS!!!!! THAT COMES TO... (COUNTS ON OMNIPOTENT FINGERS) MORE THAN 7 BUT LESS THAN 12!!! ROUGHLY.

 

 

Oh great one I bring you an army of ruthless asian school girls.

They are almost finished basic training but here are the prototypes and drill exercises.

Nothing can stop them.

 

 

They also have hearts of steel just the way you like your army to be

OMG THIS IS GREAT!!! *BOUNCES UP AND DOWN* I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ARMIES OF RUTHLESS SCHOOL GIRLS!!! 10 POINTS FOR PLAYAH!!!

 

 

i truly hope that you enjoy these petty gifts, Great Lord.

 

BIGHOOF! YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF!!! 10 POINTS!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY WITH MY NEW SEA-CREATURE IN MY BUBBLE BATH!!!

BUT THAT GIANT PIG WAS MY COUSIN BETHANY! NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EAT HER AND YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO CUT DOWN ON MY BACON!!! - 5

[Krakalakachkn]

Heyyyyyy Dark One!

 

 

I've brought you...a shrubbery! But not just any shrubbery, this shrubbery is one that looks nice, and not too expensive!

 

Also, I bring you one of the Keepers of the Secret Words: Ni, Pen, and Nee-wom! You may use him to harm your enemies or divine the secrets he possesses, the choice is yours!

[Kivam]

*Worships Aust by performing the chicken dance, followed by the Macarena*

 

What? I've never worshiped that way before.

[Aust]

Heyyyyyy Dark One!

 

 

I've brought you...a shrubbery! But not just any shrubbery, this shrubbery is one that looks nice, and not too expensive!

 

Also, I bring you one of the Keepers of the Secret Words: Ni, Pen, and Nee-wom! You may use him to harm your enemies or divine the secrets he possesses, the choice is yours!

 

KRAK!!! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME TELL AMADINE THAT I AM NOT OUTDOORSY? WHAT USE HAVE I FOR A SHRUB!??! THIS IS A THING OF THE OUTDOORS! BAH! *SMITES THE SHRUB*

0 POINTS!!!

 

HOWEVER, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU'D COMPLETELY LOST ALL COMMON SENSE YOU PULL SOMETHING INTERESTING OUT OF YOUR EAR. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MOST OF WHAT YOU SAID MEANS BUT IT SOUNDS INTERESTING. 5 POINTS

 

*Worships Aust by performing the chicken dance, followed by the Macarena*

 

What? I've never worshiped that way before.

 

 

KIVAM! ACCORDING TO THE CLIPS ON YOUTUBE YOU WORSHIP LIKE THIS OFTEN. ALTHOUGH YOUR TECHNIQUE LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED. YOU SHOULD ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY DANCE INSTRUCTOR - AFTER A FEW LESSONS WITH HER YOU WON'T LOOK QUITE SO EPILEPTIC.

 

HOWEVER, I AM ENTERTAINED BY YOUR CONVULSIONS! 5 POINTS!!!

[Naeann]

I bring you the best gift yet and one that cannot be topped. ME. No need to thank me. At the end of the month it shall revert back to you being mine. -gives Aust a smooch on the cheek-

[Aust]

I bring you the best gift yet and one that cannot be topped. ME. No need to thank me. At the end of the month it shall revert back to you being mine. -gives Aust a smooch on the cheek-

 

NAE!!!!! THIS WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!! THE FIRST THING WE ARE GOING TO DO IS ENTER YOU IN A MUD-WRESTLING TOURNAMENT (YOU KNOW WHAT AN AVID MUD-WRESTLING FAN I AM). YOU'LL BE LIKE ROCKY AND I'LL BE LIKE Mickey Goldmill, EXCEPT YOU'LL BE WEARING A BATHING SUIT AND I OF COURSE WILL BE LEVITATING AT THE SIDELINE IN MY OMNIPOTENT GRACE. I EVEN WROTE EXTRA-BIG FOR YOU!

 

10 POINTS!!!! :D

[dapianoplay3r]

Oh great one I humbly tell you that I am attending film school so I offer to film the mud wrestling for you... from every angle.

[Aust]

Oh great one I humbly tell you that I am attending film school so I offer to film the mud wrestling for you... from every angle.

 

THIS IS VERY EXCITING!! VERY EXCITING!!!! *CLAPS* 10 POINTS!!!!

 

MOVE OVER HUGH HEFNER BECAUSE DA PLAYAH AND I ARE TAKING OVER THE ADULT FILM MARKET!!!!

 

NOW IF ONLY I HAD SOMETHING SUITABLY 'HEF' TO WEAR... *RUMMAGES THROUGH DIVINE WARDROBE*

[Moghedian]

*Passes the DO a set of silk pajamas in every colour*

I find the black brings out the colour of your eyes...

[dapianoplay3r]

*goes to get "props" for the film....*

[Aust]

*Passes the DO a set of silk pajamas in every colour*

I find the black brings out the colour of your eyes...

 

MOGGY I DO SO ENJOY THE FEELING OF SILK AGAINST MY NAKED FLESH! COME AND FEEL! 5 POINTS!!!!

 

PLAYER I EAGERLY ANTICIPATE THESE 'PROPS' THAT YOU SPEAK OF. I'VE ALWAYS FELT THAT MUD WRESTLING WAS SOMEWHAT LACKING IN THE PROPS DEPARTMENT. THERE SHOULD AT LEAST BE A COUPLE OF FLOATY CHAIRS INVOLVED.

[Little Miss]

*comes in wearing latex with a whip, pasties, whipped cream and a banana*

 

 

>.>

 

Ooooh... wait.. wrong thread huh DO? I thought I read you napkin note right... :/