PLEASE ME OR WRITHE IN AGONY [DO Thread]

[Kivam]

I bring you the supercalafragelistic espialidocious device.

A know head burster

 

1 point.  If I had any idea what you were saying, that might increase.

[Kivam]

I bring you a compliment on your math skills. They are good.

 

4 points for complimenting me.

 

-2 points for the distressing lack of creativity.

[Kivam]

I bring you a stash of Macallan 18!

 

Finally, someone with a keen grasp of the obvious!

 

5 points, and a promotion to Nae'blis.

 

(Sorry, Nae, we had a good run.  But such is life when competing for my favor)

[Krakalakachkn]

Oh my bespectacled peer,

 

I bring you this amazing website:

 

www.steepandcheap.com

 

to solve all your clothing, eyewear, backpack, tent, shoe, and camping needs.  Really cheap deals, one at a time until they're sold out or time has run out.

[Amadine]

Oh Great Lord i bring you me.

 

A scantily clad sweet girl... *looks up from below her lashes* i've never worshipped the Dark Lord before... a Dark One Virgin... this is my first time. Please be "gentle" with me.

[Kivam]

Oh my bespectacled peer,

 

I bring you this amazing website:

 

www.steepandcheap.com

 

to solve all your clothing, eyewear, backpack, tent, shoe, and camping needs.  Really cheap deals, one at a time until they're sold out or time has run out.

 

Hmm.  Was going to give you 3 points for this - but clicking on the link takes me to a woman's shoe as the first product.

 

1 point.

[Kivam]

Oh Great Lord i bring you me.

 

5 points.

 

A scantily clad sweet girl... *looks up from below her lashes* i've never worshipped the Dark Lord before... a Dark One Virgin... this is my first time. Please be "gentle" with me.

 

5 more points.

 

What?  I choose to treat this as two separate gifts *nods*

 

Now, if you'll just follow me this way, Amadine . . .

[Barmacral]

I bring you a never ending supply of Blantons Whiskey.

[Verbal32]

DO, I bring you...

 

*watches Amadine*

 

Oh Great Lord i bring you me.

 

A scantily clad sweet girl... *looks up from below her lashes* i've never worshipped the Dark Lord before... a Dark One Virgin... this is my first time. Please be "gentle" with me.

 

:o

 

How the heck am I supposed to compete with that?!

 

*narrows eyes*

 

*runs off*

 

 

 

 

*comes back.....scantily clad*

 

You ruffian, you.  Here I am.  And don't be gentle. ^_^

[Barmacral]

Oh great lord, I bring you a wardrobe of wool clothing laden with itching powder to dress Verbal in, and this exceedingly sharp double-edged knife to cut anything off of Verbal that you want.

[Naeann]

I bring you the detailed notes from Robert Jordan that Mr. Sanderson is using to finish up the story so that you can find out what happens before anyone else.

[Locke]

Oh, Great and Glorious DO, I bring you the gift of THEE Life Pencil.  Everything you write with THEE Life Pencil happenS!

[Krakalakachkn]

Oh loveable K-man,

 

I set up a lunch date with John Cleese.  You can pick his brain, ask him about comedy, see what his inspirations are, and laugh more than you ever have in your life.

[Kivam]

DO, I bring you...

 

*watches Amadine*

 

Oh Great Lord i bring you me.

 

A scantily clad sweet girl... *looks up from below her lashes* i've never worshipped the Dark Lord before... a Dark One Virgin... this is my first time. Please be "gentle" with me.

 

:o

 

How the heck am I supposed to compete with that?!

 

*narrows eyes*

 

*runs off*

 

 

 

 

*comes back.....scantily clad*

 

You ruffian, you.  Here I am.  And don't be gentle. ^_^

 

Well, you *are* officially the funniest poster on DM . . . so that's a decent gift.  3 points

 

Oh great lord, I bring you a wardrobe of wool clothing laden with itching powder to dress Verbal in, and this exceedingly sharp double-edged knife to cut anything off of Verbal that you want.

 

Excellent.

 

*hamstrings Verbal so he can't escape*

 

Thanks to Barm, I'll have the funny near me forever.  I never expected Barm to bring the funny.  4 points, for surprising me.

[Kivam]

I bring you the detailed notes from Robert Jordan that Mr. Sanderson is using to finish up the story so that you can find out what happens before anyone else.

 

Awesome.

 

*swiftly peruses story, sees that he loses to Rand in the end*

 

Curse you, Sanderson!  Curse you!

 

(3 points)

[Kivam]

Oh loveable K-man,

 

I set up a lunch date with John Cleese.  You can pick his brain, ask him about comedy, see what his inspirations are, and laugh more than you ever have in your life.

 

Creative and awesome.  5 points.

[Kivam]

Oh, Great and Glorious DO, I bring you the gift of THEE Life Pencil.  Everything you write with THEE Life Pencil happenS!

 

Hmmm.  Lets test that.

 

*writes "Kivam will be the Dark One next month*

 

If that happens, you get 5 points.

 

If not, one point for the spiffy looking pencil that doesn't perform as promised.  ;D

[Locke]

*is rooting heavily for the great Kivam*

 

Great and Glorious DO, I bring you the gift of the Gift Giver.  The Gift Giver is a robot that brings WHATEVER you ask of it as a gift for you.

[Amadine]

Now, if you'll just follow me this way, Amadine . . .

*follows meekly*

 

Oh My Great Lord!!!!

 

*Floats back to where the others wait with their gifts*

 

That... you... were amazing Great Lord! *snickers*

 

For that i bring you my famous home-made chicken parmigiana with baked potatoes and fresh crusty bread rolls... oh and a large ice cold mug of beer.... to get your strength back ;)

[Adella]

Oh great lord, I bring you the one known as "Big Bird" to entertain those adorable evil err... little ones of yours! If he does not please them, he is also ripe for the plucking and I shall chop off his head and make him for dinner for yourself and the family! *curtsies*

[ed2funy]

Oh Great Lord, Exalted One and All-Around Great God, I bring you fresh blood!

 

*points at the Bird toting woman creature*

[bad company]

I bring you all who oppose you oh DO, even if they haven't thought about it yet

[Tigraine]

I have Angelina Jolie in my basement! ;D

 

Surprisingly she hasn't helped much in getting me points before.  :-\

[Cadsuane]

I have Angelina Jolie in my basement! ;D

 

Surprisingly she hasn't helped much in getting me points before.   :-\

 

Probably because you haven't adequately described what you're doing to her in your basement.  ;D

[Haxorsist]

Oh great... you. I bring you a free back scratch performed by... well, me. I'm not gonna describe what I'm wearing.