jokes

[Guest leebarr]

What is the best joke in the books. The one Rand told about the roster was funny. All the Aiel jokes are good too.

[Jonn]

Not really a joke, but I thought it was funny when Faile announced her other name as a Hunter as being "Mandarb".

I believe it was Perrin who laughed at her and pointed at Lan's horse saying: "That's Mandarb."

[Majsju]

Not really a joke, but I thought it was funny when Faile announced her other name as a Hunter as being "Mandarb".

I believe it was Perrin who laughed at her and pointed at Lan's horse saying: "That's Mandarb."

 

Aye, that was a brilliant moment.

[Theandrin]

Mine isn't really a joke either, but my personal favorite funny scene is the pink ribbons.

[Tyrell]

Anything with Mat and Tylin

[CUBAREY]

Mat's line, concerning what they were doing scouting out the knitting circle; your swilling bad wine I'm being ta'veren(paraphrase)

[Thorum]

I've gotta marry you, I've gotta marry you, I'm ****ing gonna marry you

 

(free interpretation of Mat's first encounter of Tuon)

 

Edited by Majsju. Sorry mate, but we don't really use that word on this board.

[druidravi]

“I have always thought that was a bad saying,” Verin said suddenly. “There are birds that dive and swim. And in the Sea of Storms are fish that fly, with long fins that stretch out as wide as your outstretched arms, and beaks like swords that can pierce . . . ” Her words trailed off and she became flustered. Moiraine and the Amyrlin Seat were staring at her without expression.

 

Gotta love this Verin moment . Morraine and Siuan were trying to browbeat Rand into following their plans when Verin suddenly goes  into this tangent .

 

[Elgee]

Mat being horified at being horified at taking the women into the Rahad  ;D

 

Actually, most things with Mat in  :D

[Dragon21]

It wasn't the funniest moment in the books, but I always liked Mat's trick on the whitecloaks in EotW. When he took his sling shot and made the barrels roll, splashing mud up all over them.

 

I just don't like the whitecloaks, so it was funny to think of them walking around all snooty, then getting splashed with mud like that.

 

Any of Mat's old pranks were funny. As well as any time he says "blood and bloody ashes."  ;D

[Jonn]

Another funny moment was when Perrin had first brought Loial into the Winespring Inn and Mistress Al'Vere was trying to act like having an Ogier in her kitchen was normal, but her attempts to act natural were making Loial nervous. He was so nervous that his ears would start twitching intermittently which made Mistress Al'Vere jump a little bit, hence making Loial even more nervous, making his ears twitch even more.

[Ciete]

I'll probably take heat for this one, but to me its one of the best quotes/jokes in the series.

 

Elder Harman: "Women do not become exhausted, they only exhaust others."

 

I've gotten so much mileage out of that one!!

 

[Guest Dreadlord]

Lord of Chaos p124:

 

"Only Thunder Walkers see honor in guarding an empty tent," Enaila told Jalani sadly, shaking her head. "The next time they call for wine, if the gai'shan bring them empty cups, they will no doubt get drunker than we can on oosquai."

[IoCaster]

Mat and Elayne - ACoS CH. 37 "A Note from the Palace"

 

"You listen to me! That woman won't take no for an answer; I say no, and she laughs at me. She's starved me, bullied me, chased me down like a stag! She has more hands than any six women I ever met. She threatened to have the serving women undress me if I didn't let her --" Abruptly, what he was saying hit him. And who he was saying it to. He managed to close his mouth before he swallowed a fly.

 

 

It's hard not to laugh at the absurdity of his situation. Just about every scene with Mat in Ebou Dar was greatly entertaining and quite often amusing.

[Daedallus]

The very first time we see mat in the series, hes talking about catching it for covering someone's dog in flour to simulate a ghost hound...

[Guest durram laddel cham]

I think some of the reply's of LTT in Rands head were just briliant

[Chel Vanin]

My sig. Funniest moment in the series.

[Feral]

Lots of Mat's stuff in the later books was hilarious, especially with Tylin. And where Min comments on the illusion Rand uses to sneak into the Caemlyn palace. "That face would make a goat faint" or something similar.

[Sila Darklover]

Mat and Elayne - ACoS CH. 37 "A Note from the Palace"

 

"You listen to me! That woman won't take no for an answer; I say no, and she laughs at me. She's starved me, bullied me, chased me down like a stag! She has more hands than any six women I ever met. She threatened to have the serving women undress me if I didn't let her --" Abruptly, what he was saying hit him. And who he was saying it to. He managed to close his mouth before he swallowed a fly.

 

 

It's hard not to laugh at the absurdity of his situation. Just about every scene with Mat in Ebou Dar was greatly entertaining and quite often amusing.

 

Mat's curse-phrase a few lines later always cracks me up.

[Kaznen]

I loved Thom's joke on Tuon.

 

"Oh, yes, we best watch ourselves in this fersome dangerous hell."

[aevogt]

Why do Maidens learn Handtalk?

 

Because even when they're not talking, they can't stop talking.

 

I laughed for days after I read that one.

[Harmless Bandit]

Lord of Chaos p124:

 

"Only Thunder Walkers see honor in guarding an empty tent," Enaila told Jalani sadly, shaking her head. "The next time they call for wine, if the gai'shan bring them empty cups, they will no doubt get drunker than we can on oosquai."

 

Why do Maidens learn Handtalk?

 

Because even when they're not talking, they can't stop talking.

 

I laughed for days after I read that one.

 

Great ones. I've always wondered why wetlanders can't get Aiel humor.

 

Another moment I like is how Loial's mother and would-be girlfriend literally browbeat Elder Haman into going into the Two Rivers, IIRC.

[bjclinton]

Rand is leading the Aiel out of the waste to track down the Shaido. Its when he claims a "roof" for his own in a small abandoned village, so none of the Maidens can claim it as the "Roof of the Maidens" and swarm all over him...he says something to Sulin to the effect of:

 

"I claim this place as the 'Roof of the Winespring Brothers'. Unless you have had a drink from the Winesprings Inn, you may not enter under this roof..."

 

Pleased with himself, he walks in to the building.....alone.

 

priceless....