Funniest WoT Quotes

[sonjaruff]

Mat is being stopped in the Tarasin Palace by both Tower Aes Sedai and Rebel Aes Sadai and both parties start pulling on his sleve.

 

Mat patiently waits while he observes how they will out Aes Sedai each other.

 

This expression still makes me chortle everytime...

[condonmc]

On my first reread EoTW Chap 25 The Travling People When Aram is explaining to Perrin The way of the leaf and that when somone does violence to you, you run away. Perrin Replys

" Well, I dont look for violence, But if somebody hit me, Im hit him back. If I didnt, I would just be encouraging him to think that he could hit me whenever he wanted to. Some people think that they can take advantage of others, and if you dont let them know that they cant, They'll just go around bullying others that are weaker than they are." " Some people", Aram said with a heavy sadness," can never overcome their basic instincts." He said it with a look at Perrin that made it clear he was not speaking of the bullys Perrin spoke of. " I'll bet you get to run away a lot", Perrin said, and the young Tinker's face tightend in a way that had nothing to do with the Way of the Leaf...

[damandred]

"This is beyond me" Elayne muttered. "Where is Nynaeve? Why didn't she come up with you Mat? Nynaeve!" She shouted towards the stairs.

"No need to shriek like a cat" Nynaeve growled, appearing in the stairwell. She was looking back over her shoulder down the stairs, though. "You hold her tight, you hear me" she shrieked like a cat.

[MashiraSedai]

"Fanning herself, she stopped listening while giving every appearance of paying close attention; it was a skill her father had taught her, necessary at times like this." - About Faile, Bk 6, Prologue

 

"Men always say they didn't mean it that way. You would think they spoke a different language." - Nynaeve, Bk 6, Ch. 36

 

"Aiel or not, they were all alike in some ways. If the world was ending, a woman would want time to fix her hair. If the world was ending, a woman will take time to tell a man something he did wrong." - Mat, Bk 6, Ch. 38

 

"Bound by the Oath against lying, Aes Sedai had carried the half-truth, the quarter-truth, and the implication to arts." - Egwene, Bk 6, Ch. 39

 

"Everything is just bloody fine!" - Mat, Bk 6, Ch. 40

[michellem]

It's mentioned numerous times in the books... But I giggle a little everytime one of the Superboys interacts with a woman and thinks "Mat/Rand/Perrin would know what to do, he got on well with women". I love that they all do it about each other.

[michellem]

"“We are going to tickle some Aes Sedai under the chin, rescue a mule, and put a snip-nosed girl on the Lion Throne.”

 

Mat Cauthon, Lord of Chaos, Chapter 33

[Ahaz Flagg]

"I am afraid I cannot allow that Toy" Does not matter how many times i read, and know it is coming. That line from Tuon makes me crack up so much.

[ArthurOysgelt]

Basically, all of "Into the Stone", in "The Dragon Reborn". Pure gold there.

 

It did that, but that was no particular comfort. The sides of the Stone looked like cliffs. Eyeing the height

again, he told himself he should be able to climb it. Of course, I can. Just like those cliffs in the Mountains of

Mist. Over a hundred paces straight up before there was a battlement. There must be arrowslits lower down, but

he could not make them out in the night. And he could not squeeze through an arrowslit. A hundred bloody

paces. Maybe a hundred and twenty. Burn me, even Rand would not try to climb that. But it was the one way in

he had found. Every gate he had seen had been shut tight and looked strong enough to stop a herd of bulls, not

to mention the dozen or so soldiers guarding very nearly every last one, in helmets and breastplates, and swords

at their belts.

Suddenly he blinked, and squinted at the side of the Stone. There was some fool climbing it, just visible

as a moving shadow in the moonlight, and over halfway up already, with a drop of seventy paces to the

pavement under his feet.

 

 

It was a soft boot, laced to the knee, that rested on his arm: It tugged at his memory. Something about a

man met in mountains. He eyed the night-cloaked shape the rest of the way up, trying to make out the cut and

colors of his clothes - they seemed all shadow, colors that blended with the darkness too well to see them

clearly - past a long-bladed knife at the fellow’s waist, right up to the dark veil across his face. A blackveiled

face. Black-veiled.

Aiel! Burn me, what are bloody Aiel doing here! He had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he

remembered hearing that Aiel veiled themselves when they killed.

 

The spears were pulled back, and hands hauled him to his feet. He shook them away and brushed

himself off as if he were standing in a common room instead of on a night-cloaked rooftop with four Aiel. It

always paid to let the other man know you had a steady nerve. The Aiel had quivers at their waists as well as

knives, and more of those short spears on their backs with cased bows, the long spear points sticking up above

their shoulders. He heard himself humming “I’m Down at the Bottom of the Well,” and stopped it.

 

“My name is Juilin Sandar, and I am a

thief-catcher, and I would know why you are on the rooftops, staring at the Stone.”

Mat shook his head. How many bloody people are on the roofs tonight? All that was needed was for

Thom to appear and play his harp, or someone to come looking for an inn.

Edited February 24, 2012 by Bringer

[MashiraSedai]

Agreed! The Dragon Reborn was my second favorite in the series for that very reason!

 

"Aviendha looked many things naturally, but never innocent; never that innocent." - Rand, Bk 6, Ch. 19

[Tom Sawyer]

I liked at the end of book three when Moiraine was telling Mat how important he was and how they needed to stick together or something like that an out loud he was saying "Don't worry, you can count on me! I'm with you all the way!" and in his head he was going "Oh crap. Time to run".

[michellem]

Im not gonna quote it all, but the whole part when Mat is in the Tower after being Healed from the dagger. I still giggle trough it. I think it might be extra funny because it is the first time we're in Mat's head. But the whole thing with him eating and eating while thinking and not realizing that he's eaten so much until he's done

[Dreggs Morlock]

I believe it is FotH, but I don't have the book handy. But maidens were teasing Avi about her lack of success at teaching Rand, and said, "Maybe if she spent less time thinking about his eyebrows, and more time teaching.." It might not be a precise quote, but you get the gist; Rand over heard them, and wondered what his eyebrows had to do with anything...I choked laughing so hard.

[Never]

In case no one mentioned it; the aiel joke "Why do Far Dareis Mai use handlanguage? 'cause they can't stop talking, even when they're not talking". Cracks me up!

[nodom]

"Fanning herself, she stopped listening while giving every appearance of paying close attention; it was a skill her father had taught her, necessary at times like this." - About Faile, Bk 6, Prologue

 

"Men always say they didn't mean it that way. You would think they spoke a different language." - Nynaeve, Bk 6, Ch. 36

 

"Aiel or not, they were all alike in some ways. If the world was ending, a woman would want time to fix her hair. If the world was ending, a woman will take time to tell a man something he did wrong." - Mat, Bk 6, Ch. 38

 

"Bound by the Oath against lying, Aes Sedai had carried the half-truth, the quarter-truth, and the implication to arts." - Egwene, Bk 6, Ch. 39

 

"Everything is just bloody fine!" - Mat, Bk 6, Ch. 40

 

AW! i was going to share the world ending one haha. nice one:)

[MashiraSedai]

Never, I had completely forgotten about that one! Loved it!

Sorry nodom!

[Byzantine279]

Anyone feel like finding all the times that world-ending one has happened?

[ImNoBloodyHero]

Matt's bench in TOM being built by across-eyed Trolloc from the bones of the damned

[MashiraSedai]

ImNoBloodyHero, probably my favorite DM handle thus far

 

Also, every time in tGH that Rand goes on about everyone being crazy, slowly realizing that it's him that is going mad.

[LeeM.Erickson]

I'm usually not too big on the running jokes...every time Rand/Mat/Perrin think how the other two are much better with women I think they need a good smack. But one exception to that is whenever Mat wonders about who's teaching Olver all his bad habits that he's undoubtedly picking up from Mat himself.

[Dreggs Morlock]

I'm usually not too big on the running jokes...every time Rand/Mat/Perrin think how the other two are much better with women I think they need a good smack. But one exception to that is whenever Mat wonders about who's teaching Olver all his bad habits that he's undoubtedly picking up from Mat himself.

Agreed!! Mat simply has no clue as to how everyone else sees him; in fact, if he saw himself, and didn't know he was looking at a mirror, he would be just as critical. You got to love RJ's abilities in "tongue in cheek" humor.

[ShenAnCalhar]

Valan Luca's bow: "a knot-riddled branch broken from a cross-grained tree by a blind idiot in the middle of the night."

[Galium]

In The Eye of the World, when Thom, Mat, and Rand get on Domon's ship and Gelb tells Domon that they are in league with the trollocs, it cracks me up every time when Domon says, "In league with my aged grandmother!"

[slatanic1]

"Sheep swallop! Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions!"

 

 

 

 

From Mat in Crown of Swords.

[Puny]

Everytime Nynaeve complains about someone else´s temper

[johan90]

Always like this one, cant remember which book or who sad it (i suspect it was Mat).

 

" Women dont get exhausted, they exhuast others"