Cricket guide for foreigners

[Lilbaz]

Have noticed there is a lack of threads about cricket. This is probably due to the rules being a little confusing so I found this guide for foreigners that should clear up this confusion.

 

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

 

Hope you all understand now whats happening and we can have some great discussion on this wonderful game.

[SinisterDeath]

Quantum Mechanics, M Theory combined with String Theory, multiple dimensions/universes, and time travel paradoxes explained by The Doctor.... Makes more damned sense then that.

 

*head pops*

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

... you just made that up, right?

[Ithillian Turambar]

No that's basically how it works - apart from it forgot to mention the break at halftime for sandwiches, tea and cakes. And the fact that there is generally a convenient pub or bar nearby. Cricket is best when you have a glass in your hand.

[Lilbaz]

This is how we built an empire. The natives were too busy trying to figure out the rules to organise an uprising.

[SinisterDeath]

This.. This here, is why we should never trust the British. 

[suchmadness]

Yeah cricket is like religion here. We got acedamy and everything. That's why we're unbeaten:) Except when we try to be fair and let others win now and then!

 

 

Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi!!

[suchmadness]

I got permanent dent on my shin from playing cricket. Those ball are hard.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

so the wobbley really exists?

[Starrik]

This is how we built an empire. The natives were too busy trying to figure out the rules to organise an uprising.

Bah. We've beat you at it plenty. I believe the Indians have too. And no cindy, that's pretty much exactly how it works. Except they forgot to mention the large amount of time where nothing happens, unless you're at a professional game.

[Lilbaz]

 

This is how we built an empire. The natives were too busy trying to figure out the rules to organise an uprising.

Bah. We've beat you at it plenty. I believe the Indians have too. And no cindy, that's pretty much exactly how it works. Except they forgot to mention the large amount of time where nothing happens, unless you're at a professional game.

 

 

This was how we ;lost the empire, you lot learnt the rules and started kicking our arses.

 

If you think the aussies think it's a religion you should go to Sri Lanka. 

[suchmadness]

It's got a big gold urn filled with ashes, strange gestures with esoteric meanings, worshippers...what more could you ask for in a religion?

[Lilbaz]

Such are you by any chance from Lilliput?

[MasterAblar]

Oh boy, I think his mind's finally gone. Couldn't handle yet another let down it seems.

[Starrik]

 

 

This is how we built an empire. The natives were too busy trying to figure out the rules to organise an uprising.

Bah. We've beat you at it plenty. I believe the Indians have too. And no cindy, that's pretty much exactly how it works. Except they forgot to mention the large amount of time where nothing happens, unless you're at a professional game.

 

 

This was how we ;lost the empire, you lot learnt the rules and started kicking our arses.

 

If you think the aussies think it's a religion you should go to Sri Lanka. 

 

Well, it ain't a religion here. We've got too many damned sports, I can barely keep track of all of their names!

[Ithillian Turambar]

It's got a big gold urn filled with ashes, strange gestures with esoteric meanings, worshippers...what more could you ask for in a religion?

The Ashes are tiny.

 

 

 

 

And were created by an aussie who just thought he would take the pi ... erm mick, by having a constant reminder of the day that English Cricket died lol

 

And lo - he did gather up the ashes of the burnt stumps and did place them in a teeny tiny urn. Thus to ensure that even when they were occasionally won back, they would still be a reminder of that fateful day

 

My dad taught me to bowl overarm. It used to scare the hell out of the other girls during PE

[suchmadness]

Huh?? What was I watching then with great big urn thingy all goldy?

Oh yeah that was NRL.

Do agree with Starrik there's too many damn sport here. I can't keep up.

[Pralaya]

Let's get back to the actual discussion.

 

India vs Sri Lanka...England vs SA

 

Who is going out and who will be in :)

[Lilbaz]

Sri lankans are nuts for cricket. Everywhere you go there are kids playing.

[ratswot]

Makes perfect sense ... for Test matches. Now explain ODIs and T20s!

[Senexx]

Cricket, just like baseball but even slower and even less action and more boring.

And I do know how cricket works - for reasons given above, is some of the reasons that T20 was brought in.

[Guest PiotrekS]

A game of cricket was the only live game at which I fell asleep. I was 15 then mind you, not 115. A wonderful game.I remember the rhytmic movement of the audience's jaws working on the chips and the stoic applause once every 5 hours or so.

[BFG]

This probably deserves to be here.

 

Bill Bryson in Down Under

 

 

Eventually the radio dial presented only an uninterrupted cat's hiss, but for one clear spot near the end of the dial. At first i thought that's all it was - just an empty spot - but then realised I could hear the faint shiftings and stirrings of seated people, and after quite a pause a voice, calm and reflective, said:

'Pilchard begins his long run in from short stump. He bowls and ... oh, he's out! Yes, he's got him. Longwilley is caught leg-before in middle slops by Grattan. Well, now what do you make of that, Neville?'

'That's definitely one for the books, Bruce. I don't think I've seen offside medium slow fast pace bowling to match it since Baden-Powell took Rangachangabanga for a maiden ovary at Bangalore in 1948.'

I had stumbled into the surreal and rewarding world of cricket on the radio.

After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind) I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry. It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don't wish to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game. It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as players -- more if they are moderately restless. It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning.

Imagine a form of baseball in which the pitcher, after each delivery, collects the ball from the catcher and walks slowly with it to center field; and that there, after a minute's pause to collect himself, he turns and runs full tilt toward the pitcher's mound before hurling the ball at the ankles of a man who stands before him wearing a riding hat, heavy gloves of the sort used to to handle radio-active isotopes, and a mattress strapped to each leg. Imagine moreover that if this batsman fails to hit the ball in a way that heartens him sufficiently to try to waddle forty feet with mattress's strapped to his legs, he is under no formal compunction to run; he may stand there all day, and, as a rule, does. If by some miracle he is coaxed into making a misstroke that leads to his being put out, all the fielders throw up their arms in triumph and have a hug. Then tea is called and every one retires happily to a distant pavilion to fortify for the next siege. Now imagine all this going on for so long that by the time the match concludes autumn has crept in and all your library books are overdue. There you have cricket.

The mystery of cricket is not that Australians play it well, but that they play it at all. It has always seemed to me a game much too restrained for the rough-and-tumble Australian temperament. Australians much prefer games in which brawny men in scanty clothing bloody each other's noses. I am quite certain that if the rest of the world vanished over night and the development of cricket was left in Australian hands, within a generation the players would be wearing shorts and using the bats to hit each other. And the thing is, it would be a much better game for it.

[Pralaya]

Most of this perception of cricket is due to Tests, which go on for 5 days. There are shorter versions for those who need faster and quicker action. They are called Twenty 20, which have radically altered what cricket is.

[ratswot]

Test match cricket is the best form of cricket. The others are irrelevant.