The 55 Chapter Titles of A Memory of Light

[aross]

If you take this post seriously, you are a nincompoop.

 

Prologue: By Grace and Banners Fallen

Chapter 1: Eastward the Wind Blew

Chapter 2: The Choice of an Ajah

Chapter 3: The Prince of Andor says, "What?"

Chapter 4: The Amyrlin's Mistake

Chapter 5: Too Late Now Dummy

Chapter 6: Tarwin's Gap Sucks

Chapter 7: We are so F*$@ed Now

Chapter 8: Ah Well, God Save the Queen

Chapter 9: The Raven Prince Raves

Chapter 10: The Hangover Part III

Chapter 11: The Hangover Part IV, Ebou Dar

Chapter 12: Me No Like!  No More Boots!

Chapter 13: The Wolf King Plays Whack-a-Mole

Chapter 14: The Wolf King Rings the Bell

Chapter 15: The Wolf King Goes into the Kitchen Renovation Business

Chapter 16: Another Chosen?  Enough Already!

Chapter 17: Boy He Really Didn't Last Long Did He?

Chapter 18: The Dragon Rebones

Chapter 19: The Dragon Restones

Chapter 20: The Dragon Rebones Again

Chapter 21: The Sea Folk Discover the Dinglehopper...

Chapter 22: ...Is Really An Eating Utensil

Chapter 23: The Fish Slapping Dance of Ebou Dar

Chapter 24: The Armies Pick Captains

Chapter 25: Lord Bashere's Ritual Suicide

Chapter 26: The Captains Pick Teams

Chapter 27: Valan Luca is Picked Last

Chapter 28: The Return of the (suck-Ass) Menagerie

Chapter 29: Camelyn Reincorporates as Nrgabangankarbunkum

Chapter 30: The Seanchan Show Up - Stand Back Be-atches

Chapter 31: Berelain Shaves Her Head, Galad Shaves His @$$

Chapter 32: The Amyrlin Hates the Seanchan

Chapter 33: The Amyrlin Still Hates the Seanchan

Chapter 34: The Seanchan Couldn't Give a Rat's Butt

Chapter 35: The Raven Prince Tries to Get in the Middle

Chapter 36: The Raven Prince Hides

Chapter 37: The Dragon Reborn Asks Everyone to Chill

Chapter 38: Everyone Passes the Ducheep to the Left Hand Side

Chapter 39: The Nae'blis is a Sucky Boss

Chapter 40: Take This Job and Shove It

Chapter 41: The Chosen Revolt

Chapter 42: The Chosen Regret (And I Mean RE-A-LLY Regret)

Chapter 43: Oh S%&t, It's Starting

Chapter 44: Oh No You Didn't!

Chapter 45: Oh Yes I Did!

Chapter 46: Whose Idea Was Balefire?

Chapter 47: Talmanes is a Pyromaniac

Chapter 48: Talmanes and Aludra: Muskrat Love?

Chapter 49: The Three Wives Dance on the Dragon's Grave, Singing Hallelujah

Chapter 50: Wait Wasn't He Supposed to Come Back?

Chapter 51: Oh Crap There's Something Really Wrong Here

Chapter 52: Mat Blows the Horn, Stalls for Time, Will Never be Confused for Chuck Mangione

Chapter 53: Perrin Yells for Rand to Show Up Before...

Chapter 54: ...No Dragon, No Prison, No Dice

Chapter 55: Happy Endings Suck

[Nyanna al'Meara]

XD

 

hehehehhehehehee love it

[Sid]

Sthpoilerth!

 

heh, thinking of ch 52 Mat playing 'Feels so good' made me laugh

[Aiyen kin Leary]

Who's Idea Was Balefire?  Lol, love it!

[Anrui]

I'm a new poster, and died laughing right here:

 

Chapter 16: Another Chosen? Enough Already!

 

Chapter 17: Boy He Really Didn't Last Long Did He?

 

There has to be a way to work "The Fish-Slapping Dance of Ebou Dar" into polite discussion.

[Luckers]

I giggled out loud.

[Suttree]

Excellent work Aross.

[joeron bigelow]

what? you got a copy of the book already?

[joeron bigelow]

isnt anyone going to call me a nincompoop?

 

Was the title of chapter 11 released in real life?

[TheVitaleMob]

ZOMG a Chuck Mangione reference.  I thought Only me and marching band geeks knew of this guy!

 

Also:  Laughed my ever-loving butt off!

[Anrui]

Marching band geek here, and I agree!

[Luckers]

Chapter 14: Good Two Rivers Leaf.

Chapter 15: Puff the Magic Dragon.

Chapter 16: When Twinkies Go Off.

[DSgamer64]

I laughed over the excessive volume of the music playing on my computer, then again, I am kinda drunk too. Awesome stuff, I wish RJ and Sanderson had that kind of humour when it comes to chapter title choices :D

[Southpaw89]

Harriet chooses chapter names. RJ and Brandon don't have any say so.

[waffle]

Most of these titles work if you remove one word from each of them.

 

That is scary.

[Zewe]

I wanted to be lame and just quote my favorite sequence and move on, but then I realized I loved them all.

Let me read your book.

[Owayn The Traveller]

If you take this post seriously, you are a nincompoop.

 

Prologue: By Grace and Banners Fallen

Chapter 1: Eastward the Wind Blew

Chapter 2: The Choice of an Ajah

Chapter 3: The Prince of Andor says, "What?"

Chapter 4: The Amyrlin's Mistake

Chapter 5: Too Late Now Dummy

Chapter 6: Tarwin's Gap Sucks

Chapter 7: We are so F*$@ed Now

Chapter 8: Ah Well, God Save the Queen

Chapter 9: The Raven Prince Raves

Chapter 10: The Hangover Part III

Chapter 11: The Hangover Part IV, Ebou Dar

Chapter 12: Me No Like! No More Boots!

Chapter 13: The Wolf King Plays Whack-a-Mole

Chapter 14: The Wolf King Rings the Bell

Chapter 15: The Wolf King Goes into the Kitchen Renovation Business

Chapter 16: Another Chosen? Enough Already!

Chapter 17: Boy He Really Didn't Last Long Did He?

Chapter 18: The Dragon Rebones

Chapter 19: The Dragon Restones

Chapter 20: The Dragon Rebones Again

Chapter 21: The Sea Folk Discover the Dinglehopper...

Chapter 22: ...Is Really An Eating Utensil

Chapter 23: The Fish Slapping Dance of Ebou Dar

Chapter 24: The Armies Pick Captains

Chapter 25: Lord Bashere's Ritual Suicide

Chapter 26: The Captains Pick Teams

Chapter 27: Valan Luca is Picked Last

Chapter 28: The Return of the (suck-Ass) Menagerie

Chapter 29: Camelyn Reincorporates as Nrgabangankarbunkum

Chapter 30: The Seanchan Show Up - Stand Back Be-atches

Chapter 31: Berelain Shaves Her Head, Galad Shaves His @$$

Chapter 32: The Amyrlin Hates the Seanchan

Chapter 33: The Amyrlin Still Hates the Seanchan

Chapter 34: The Seanchan Couldn't Give a Rat's Butt

Chapter 35: The Raven Prince Tries to Get in the Middle

Chapter 36: The Raven Prince Hides

Chapter 37: The Dragon Reborn Asks Everyone to Chill

Chapter 38: Everyone Passes the Ducheep to the Left Hand Side

Chapter 39: The Nae'blis is a Sucky Boss

Chapter 40: Take This Job and Shove It

Chapter 41: The Chosen Revolt

Chapter 42: The Chosen Regret (And I Mean RE-A-LLY Regret)

Chapter 43: Oh S%&t, It's Starting

Chapter 44: Oh No You Didn't!

Chapter 45: Oh Yes I Did!

Chapter 46: Whose Idea Was Balefire?

Chapter 47: Talmanes is a Pyromaniac

Chapter 48: Talmanes and Aludra: Muskrat Love?

Chapter 49: The Three Wives Dance on the Dragon's Grave, Singing Hallelujah

Chapter 50: Wait Wasn't He Supposed to Come Back?

Chapter 51: Oh Crap There's Something Really Wrong Here

Chapter 52: Mat Blows the Horn, Stalls for Time, Will Never be Confused for Chuck Mangione

Chapter 53: Perrin Yells for Rand to Show Up Before...

Chapter 54: ...No Dragon, No Prison, No Dice

Chapter 55: Happy Endings Suck

Prologue: Taveran in an adventure with Prospectors

 

Don't know if you ever read any of the Pirates Adventure books by some Gideon chap but there is a bit at the end of one that has a similiar vibe as your chapter titles. Both are very funny.

[Balefire to da face!]

Oh goodie! I hope the Fish Slapping Dance is the Chapter that's 200 pages long!

[haplo333]

chapter 55 should have been "what a dream' !! Well done, great job!!

[Zewe]

chapter 55 should have been "what a dream' !! Well done, great job!!

[AesSedaiGuy]

Awesome and hilarious.