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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

aross

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  1. I'm surprised no one asked about Teslyn. I realize that she had to share space in the book with a host of characters, but the relationship with her and Mat was built up far too much to finish it off with a mere gateway. If that's the last they see of one another, I'd be disappointed. Mat had other little gems planted around him that never saw follow up: Petra - Why didn't he see Petra again? Jame - No interest in going back there? The Seanchan Bannerwoman Knife of Dreams - I was sure he would see her again, especially after the heavy foreshadowing supplied by her dialogue. Nestelle din Sakura South Star - "I will remember you..." Shouldn't that have meant that she would encounter Mat one more time? Did no one have a complaint about Abell never encountering Mat or (better) Tuon?
  2. I'm surprised that no one's considered that Bela might not be carrying Faile. What if another is on Bela, incapacited and needing to escape?
  3. If you take this post seriously, you are a nincompoop. Prologue: By Grace and Banners Fallen Chapter 1: Eastward the Wind Blew Chapter 2: The Choice of an Ajah Chapter 3: The Prince of Andor says, "What?" Chapter 4: The Amyrlin's Mistake Chapter 5: Too Late Now Dummy Chapter 6: Tarwin's Gap Sucks Chapter 7: We are so F*$@ed Now Chapter 8: Ah Well, God Save the Queen Chapter 9: The Raven Prince Raves Chapter 10: The Hangover Part III Chapter 11: The Hangover Part IV, Ebou Dar Chapter 12: Me No Like! No More Boots! Chapter 13: The Wolf King Plays Whack-a-Mole Chapter 14: The Wolf King Rings the Bell Chapter 15: The Wolf King Goes into the Kitchen Renovation Business Chapter 16: Another Chosen? Enough Already! Chapter 17: Boy He Really Didn't Last Long Did He? Chapter 18: The Dragon Rebones Chapter 19: The Dragon Restones Chapter 20: The Dragon Rebones Again Chapter 21: The Sea Folk Discover the Dinglehopper... Chapter 22: ...Is Really An Eating Utensil Chapter 23: The Fish Slapping Dance of Ebou Dar Chapter 24: The Armies Pick Captains Chapter 25: Lord Bashere's Ritual Suicide Chapter 26: The Captains Pick Teams Chapter 27: Valan Luca is Picked Last Chapter 28: The Return of the (suck-Ass) Menagerie Chapter 29: Camelyn Reincorporates as Nrgabangankarbunkum Chapter 30: The Seanchan Show Up - Stand Back Be-atches Chapter 31: Berelain Shaves Her Head, Galad Shaves His @$$ Chapter 32: The Amyrlin Hates the Seanchan Chapter 33: The Amyrlin Still Hates the Seanchan Chapter 34: The Seanchan Couldn't Give a Rat's Butt Chapter 35: The Raven Prince Tries to Get in the Middle Chapter 36: The Raven Prince Hides Chapter 37: The Dragon Reborn Asks Everyone to Chill Chapter 38: Everyone Passes the Ducheep to the Left Hand Side Chapter 39: The Nae'blis is a Sucky Boss Chapter 40: Take This Job and Shove It Chapter 41: The Chosen Revolt Chapter 42: The Chosen Regret (And I Mean RE-A-LLY Regret) Chapter 43: Oh S%&t, It's Starting Chapter 44: Oh No You Didn't! Chapter 45: Oh Yes I Did! Chapter 46: Whose Idea Was Balefire? Chapter 47: Talmanes is a Pyromaniac Chapter 48: Talmanes and Aludra: Muskrat Love? Chapter 49: The Three Wives Dance on the Dragon's Grave, Singing Hallelujah Chapter 50: Wait Wasn't He Supposed to Come Back? Chapter 51: Oh Crap There's Something Really Wrong Here Chapter 52: Mat Blows the Horn, Stalls for Time, Will Never be Confused for Chuck Mangione Chapter 53: Perrin Yells for Rand to Show Up Before... Chapter 54: ...No Dragon, No Prison, No Dice Chapter 55: Happy Endings Suck
  4. Its understandable that Dragonmount posters read more into characters and quotes than sometimes is warranted. Often times, the posters spot something that turns out true. In this case, I think not. In myth and story, heroes and kings have sidekicks. Not necessarily flawed sidekicks like Lancelot was for Arthur, but constant unquestioned companions. Joshua, brother of Moses. Enkidu (Gilgamesh). Patroclus (Achilles). Samwise Gamgee (Frodo Baggins). Robin (Batman ;-). As a writer, I believe Robert Jordan looked at his Perrin of Eye of the World and the Perrin he would need to complete his epic. He figured Perrin would need a companion that would believe in Perrin even when Perrin did not. So in comes this rock (steady presence) of a character named Gaul, who would befriend Perrin out of gratitude at first, and then admiration later. Any who wish to maintain that Tavereness brought Gaul to Perrin...? Damn straight. Yes. Perrin's taveren nature may not have been all that strong at first, but it was strong enough to bring him Gaul, and it was strong enough to preserve his life until he figured things out. So yes, Gaul has a purpose, but it's really nothing more than meets the eye.
  5. Good argument about Tylee. They would be using first names, so... maybe now the question is what is she helping him with?!?! It's got to be something that Seanchan would oppose, like freeing channellers, stopping the White Tower attack, or ?
  6. Has anyone considered that Perrin's fond helper is Lanfear?
  7. Aviendha's vision at the columns states unequivocally that the Aiel are west of the Dragonwall for generations before the Raven Empire drives them back over it. There's nothing about them having a sovereign nation, but my instinct says they will have one. It's really nothing more than a guess. Still, I feel pretty good about my three until someone blows me away with something better.
  8. sorry BFG, if I was unclear. I meant that Rand would ask that the Aiel be granted lands that they could call a nation west of the Dragonwall.
  9. 1) The Dragon's Peace 2) Aiel Lands west of the Dragonwall 3) A restoration of status for male channellers I thought of the a'dam, but then thought that Mat would be more likely to fix that problem, and also that the demand has to be more general. In other words, not demanded of just the Seanchan but rather ALL of the monarchs.
  10. There seem to be some folks that are wishing Mat to act in certain way, and those wishes are based upon their own prejudices or their vision of Mat as a character. I agree with Sentinel and others - the discussion is with Tuon (BTW, very good theoretical passage Sentinel). Mat would not leash a channeller. He would declare to Tuon that he intends to handle them however. In my interpretation, this means that he intends to go to Egwene. And Herid, the person who I'd guess asks, "How much do you trust Mat Cauthon?" is almost certainly one of Egwene's advisors, or someone from the Hall. The Seanchan, don't forget, call him Matrim. And so there will be tension, I'd guess, based upon Mat's promise to Tuon that he will handle the channellers on Tuon's behalf. Egwene, and especially Elayne and Nynaeve trust that Mat is a true-friend-in-need and loyal... but they are not going to easily understand his relationship to Tuon. Though he had little choice, he's made things worse by hiding his marriage from Elayne. Had he spoken frankly of the marriage, Elayne would have found it harder to trust his motives through the negotiations. Another odd dynamic added to the mix might be Nynaeve's protective nature. She would have little to go on except Tuon's tactical insults. But she might assume, based upon those insults, that Mat is crazy to return to Ebou Dar. She would try to prevent him, I'd think. And then later, knowing that he commands Seanchan, whatever is she supposed to think???
  11. Rand - Stoned as usual, Rand is driving 15 mph on I-10 when a Texas state trooper pulls him over for going too slow. Rand coughs, and the trooper shoots him. Perrin - Overdoses on creatine. Egwene - Dies when Dragonmount fans stone her to death. The same happens to Gawyn. And then Faile, and then.... Elayne - Dies while attempting a base jump from the tip of Dragonmount. Min - Killed by bird droppings in the Blight. Nynaeve - Her braid comes back for revenge and strangles her. Lan - Dies of old age during the Last Battle. But hey congrats dude on getting the pretty young thing. Thom and Moiraine - Die spectacularly while snagging in the patches of Thom's cloak, falling into a Dragon, and riding a Dragon Egg, Wily Coyote style, all the way to the Town. They survive that of course, and kill some of the crazy mutha f*&%ers with knives and fire, but fall into a spiked pit. Still fighting! They climb out, kill Cyndane and a few others and then a piano drops on them. It's a player piano, and it's only song is Inagada Davida and they can't make it stop, so they put a bullet in each other's brain. Siuan and Bryne - Die waiting while Siuan tries to figure out she really feels about Gareth. Talmanes and the Band - Like all bands, they start harmoniously, then they squabble, then they start to fight. And then they kill each other.
  12. My final time writing a take-the-piss on the Wheel of Time and I should be getting misty eyed... Ah, f@^# that. Anyone else get inspired, try to write something funny too. Everybody's too f^&*ing serious around here. As our story begins, everyone sounding pretty grim, but is it code? Talmanes telling some sellsword dudes, "this is the end," blah, blah, blah. Does he mean the end of the world? Or is it just that he likes rear-ends (especially Elayne's) and he's trying to come up with a euphemism? RAFO, mutha f@^#ers! The Creator himself comes out of the heavens to talk to Mat and tells him, "I did not put women on this earth to confuse men you dip%&$t. I put them on this earth so that you could !#$%$ $%^&* %^* !@%#$! So quit complaining you p@#$y!" "Anyway, it seems like you've done pretty well so far. Shagging your way through every tavern and palace you get to. Even more than Daved Hanlon, and all of your women say "yes". "What about Tylin? I didn't say yes!" "Don't worry dude. If it's legitimate rape, she can't get pregnant." "She's dead." "Oh. Then it's a sure thing! No random rugrats for you!" Phew thought Mat. After all, he didn't want to have to tell his Tuon about his illegimate children! "I can hear you thinking about Tuon dip@$#t. You think she hasn't gotten her freak on? Think again!" So Mat did think again. Oh yeah. That explains a lot. "My work here is done. Buh-bye Mat." "What about the Last Battle?" "Oh yeah. That. Here." and in front of Mat appears a duffel full of bondage toys, labeled Compliments of Jacqueline Carey. "What am I supposed to do with this?" The Creator looked at Mat like he was a moron, "Bind the Nine Moons dip@$#t." Finally a fun prophecy, thought Mat. ----------------------------------------- Gawyn proposed marriage to Egwene and she was stupid enough to accept, choosing marriage over career, even after her virtuoso performance as Lily in Black Swan. She had money, fame, and choices, and instead went with K-Fed. I don't really need to narrate the rest, do I? ----------------------------------------- New best buds Perrin and Galad were chatting on the field of Merrilor. Perrin couldn't help but notice a double limp. "Galad, what's wrong? Not still injured from the Trolloc battle? We're going to need you soon." "No. I'm good." "You don't look it," Perrin's look and tone told Galad that he knew there was something more. But the truth was... embarrassing. Would he have to talk about this? "Um. Ah s&^t. Can this stay between us?" "Yes," and Galad knew that Perrin would keep his word, even if the Dark One himself held a knife to his throat. "It's Berelain." "She injured you? I thought she liked you. Maybe more." "She does." "Uh." "She likes me a little too much, I think." "That doesn't sound bad. You like her, right?" "Yep," with a smile. "So what's the deal?" "She's been introducing me to the pleasures of the bedchamber." "Oh, dude. I get it." "What?" "Galad, I get it dude. Enthusiastic sex partner. I've got one too. Wanna see? Galad could only nod. Perrin unbuttoned his shirt and gingerly slipped it off. Galad was stunned to find blood trails and scars covering Perrin's back. "Surely you were whipped on some Village Green." "Nope. That's all fingernail work." "Holy %$^#$%^ #$^%." "Feel better now?" Galad was amazed to find he did. "Yeah, thanks bro." "No problem." ------------------------------------------- Lan had been gone a long time, and Nynaeve sat in her tent at Merrilor, gagging for a shagging. Amazing how our wishes can be fulfilled in the most f$%&ed up ways, because at that very moment, Sleete walks in, escorting another visitor. Valan Luca. Light, you have gotta be f$%^in' kidding me, she thought. Sleete broke her disgusted reverie. "Nynaeve Sedai, this gentleman explained that he knew you in Ghealdan. Another person to whom you owe a debt?" "Sleete, I know him. But, if you believe I owe this douchebag anything...?" "I didn't. Just remembering a recent visitor." "Elayne and I hid in his menagerie for a while. But I don't see the menagerie Sleete. You think he's come here looking for a handout?" "Possibly Nynaeve Sedai. It's the Last Battle. We could always use more swords." "Why don't we see why he's here?" Luca spoke up, "Your eyes inflame me Nynaeve. Your fire burns me! Your..." Tuning him out, Nynaeve thought to herself, was I ever this desperate? Eyeing Luca, her horny side spoke up. He's a sure thing! Sane Nynaeve pushed back. I'd sooner have a Brazillian Wax five times a day. "He can shoot a bow, Sleete. Have him report to the archery unit." Luca spluttered, "But Nynaeve, I love you! I love no one but you!" She was bored with this douchebag already! "Sleete, please. Get him out of here. Before I remove his balls with the One Power." Sleete turned to grab Luca, but he was long gone, running away awkwardly while cupping his hands over his groin. --------------------------------------- Elayne, Min, Aviendha, and Rand lie together among the cushions in the Dragon's tent, sweat covering their bodies and satisfaction lining their faces. Rand thought happily, I am a golden god! "Whoa," said Min. "I didn't think sister on sister action would be that cool," put Elayne. Aviendha just purred like a kitten. "But Rand," said Elayne, "I thought we were getting together to discuss what to do at the Last Battle." Rand smiled beautifically. "I'm ready to die now." ---------------------------------------- Moiraine and Thom also huddled together in her tent. She could hear his thoughts. Sounded like me love you long time or some s*^t like that. Then she noticed the tent in his pants. "What's that?" she asked with a seductive smile. "I borrowed some Viagra from Gareth Bryne." "Hmm." They stared at each other a moment while she caressed his arm. "Thom, I should tell you... I haven't been with a guy in a while." "Yeah your captivity. I knew that." "No Thom. I meant I haven't been with a guy." Thom could do the numbers, "You and Siuan?" "Yep." "Kinky," his tone sounded appreciative. "You're OK with that?" "More than OK Moiraine. I mean, I love you, but she is kinda hot too. Do you think...?" "Kinky," her tone sounded equally appreciative. ----------------------------------------------------- And the Dark One spoke to Moridin and Shaidar Haran. "Ok mutha f$%^ers! I'm unleashing the balefire! Go nuts!" "Yes!" shouted the other two. "And you'll have as much of my power as you need Moridin." "Yes!" "And Shaidar Haran, the leash is removed. No more coming back to Shayol Ghul for you." "Hell yea!" "But I'm putting a temporary moritorium on rape." "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ------------------------------------------------- To the Last Battle. Ogiers, Tinkers, and channelers sang the Song of Growing. And as they hit the chorus, "Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together. Try to love one another right now," the Dark One hurled, fertilizing the pattern and regrowing his prison. Soon his touch was gone from the world, except for a little primordial goo.
  13. No, there is no evidence of that. The only character allowed to do that is Moridin (use the True Power in large amounts), and the books talk about the True Power's addictive nature. Moridin already showed the saa across his eyes, the signs of addiction, back in Path of Daggers. To leap from there to possession? There's no foundation for it.
  14. @algspkr - Yes, I completely agree that Galgan is a dead man. The only thing that seems not to be settled is whether that death is a blow to the Dark (is Galgan a darkfriend or a Forsaken in disguise? Lots of theories discuss these possibilities). Also, Mat remains Prince of the Ravens. This does not necessarily equal Seanchan Supreme Commander. Prince of the Ravens is an exalted title, for certain, but still only the same as Prince Consort. If Mat is to take his destined spot as Supreme Commander, it's got to be despite Galgan. Tuon would not set Galgan aside, for fear of making a dangerous enemy. She is far too good at the Game of Houses to commit a gaffe of that nature. So, Mat's got to kill Galgan. No other path seems remotely likely.
  15. You haven't missed anything. Your read and interpretation is correct. Egwene believes that breaking the seals frees the Dark One. Almost certainly incorrectly and not based upon evidence. Rand believes breaking the seals will strengthen the Dark One (but not yet free him) and that is likely true.
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