Unless one goes the "Padan Fain becomes the DO" route, I suppose.

Light Have Mercy on a Shepherd Boy (v2) Well, I grew up tall and free Roamin’ Sand Hills and the Westwood trees There wasn't no place I couldn't go With my stones and my sling and my yew-wood bow Now I roam through the cities but don't fit in You know, it's a pity the shape I'm in But I can’t go home and I got no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy When I was young, I remember well I’d sheer sheep north of Manetherendrelle The river was clearly the frontier back then With no strangers staying in the Winespring inn Now I rule in the city but don't fit in You know, it's a pity the shape I'm in But I can’t go home and I got no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy Well, they left their farms, forsook their fields They watched them burned and despaired for yields There's some slated roofs with no thatcher sought And now the whole village is walled like a motte Well, I reign in the cities but don't fit in You know, it's a pity the shape I'm in But I can’t go home and I got no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy

Light Have Mercy on a Shepherd Boy (v1) A parody of Lord Have Mercy on a Country Boy by Josh Turner as written by Rand al’Thor. Well, I grew up calm and free Growin’ tabac and shearing wool from sheep There wasn’t no place I couldn’t go With Mat and Perrin or my lonesome soul Well, I came to the city yet don’t fit in You know, it’s a pity the shape I’m in But I can’t go home and I have no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy When he was young, Father muttered so I was born after battle in the bloody snow Moiraine was young and Accepted then Chasing down child tales and Warder-bonding Lan Well, I conquered the city yet don’t fit in You know, it’s a pity the shape I’m in But I can’t go home and I have no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy Well, they went to the village; their farms did flee They cut down the fences and the closest trees There’s some tiled roofs and a Domani shop And now the Two Rivers are all Perrin‘s lot Well, I reign in the city yet don’t fit in You know, it’s a pity the shape I’m in But I can’t go home and I have no choice Oh, Light, have mercy on a shepherd boy

Shepherd’s Paradise (Parody of Amish Paradise) A parody of Gangsta Paradise by Coolio and Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic as written by Rand al’Thor. As I look through the valley of Tarwin’s Gap Eye spy the Shadow force and see a horde of saps And that’s just perfect for a Dragon like me You know, I kill Shadowspawn with much alacrity At four thirty in the morning, I’m shearing sheep Papa Tam mends the fences and Bela plows… fool And I’ve been shearin’ and plowin’ so long that Pretty Egwene al’Vere thinks my mind is wool Perrin’s a man of the land, he’s into discipline Got a Faile on his lap and a beard on his chin But if we finish all of our chores and you finish thine Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s flaming Bel Tine We been spending most our lives Living in a shepherd’s paradise I’ve Flamed the Void once or twice Living in a shepherd’s paradise It’s hard work and sacrifice Living in a shepherd’s paradise We sell wool at mulehead price Living in a shepherd’s paradise A local boy loosed a badger on the green last week I just smiled at him ‘cause it’s mischief that he seeks I don’t really care, but I do wish him well ‘Cause I’ll be laughing my head off when Wisdom’s ringing his bell Mat hadn’t never killed a girl even if she deserved it The scamp harmin’ women? You know that’s unheard of! He bought a cool hat that he’ll never misplace And his rapist loves to say he really looks good in lace… fool If you come to conquer, you’ll be beaten to tears We haven’t even seen a taxman in 200 years ‘Cause we ain’t Andormen, so please don’t try and scare We’re not courageously impaired There’s no Guards, no Friends, no fireworks Not a single luxury Unlike Farstrider It’s as pastoral as can be We been spending most our lives Living in a shepherd’s paradise We’re just plain and simple guys Living in a shepherd’s paradise There’s no time for sin and vice Living in a shepherd’s paradise We don’t fight, but shoot real nice Living in a shepherd’s paradise Cleanin’ up saidin, my half of the Power With the Choedan Kal, hour after hour Everybody’s fightin’, but half of them ain’t tryin’ It’s going down to the Logoth, while the Chosen dyin’ They said I had to learn, but was nobody here to teach me If the birds and fish can’t work, how can they reach me? I guess they can’t; I guess they won’t I guess they knelt, that’s how they know Asha’man are GOATs, fool Couldn’t spend all our lives Living in a shepherd’s paradise We’re crazy Manetheren Living in a shepherd’s paradise It’s all copse and Winternight Living in a shepherd’s paradise But Matrim thinks it bites Living in a shepherd’s paradise

Much Too Hasty (Parody of White & Nerdy) A parody of Ridin’ by Chamillionaire and White & Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic as written by Loial son of Arent son of Halan. They see me leavin’ the steddin’ I know they’re all thinking I am much too hasty Thinkin’ that I’m much too hasty Thinkin’ that I’m much too hasty Can’t you see I’m much too hasty? Look at me I’m much too hasty I wanna go with ta’veren But I hope they don’t think that I’m too huge and hasty Think I’m just too huge and hasty Think I’m just too huge and hasty I’m just too huge and hasty Really, really huge and hasty Left stedding Shangtai the world to see Got skills, I’m best for singing a tree In the groves it is best to be Keep your Eye, I’ll just see the Man Green My name never lies to the contrary You’ll find my friendship stationary Never duplicated by old Terry Artur Hawkwing‘s in my library My axe handle’s all totally stretched out Elder Haman begged me to pay attention For Erith I have undying passion Praising her ears is my distraction Don’t have the Longing, no; no, there’s no malaise I’m a whiz with All the Things; I even know the Ways Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed Long legs movin’ so fast, I’ll win every race There’s no killer book I haven’t read Inn Remen finally had a bed Help make all the Myrddraal dead Ain’t that old but Stump heard what I said You know treesinging is my theme song In a game of stones you’ll surely be gone I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I’m well-versed in loyalty; but less so Tuon They see my eyebrows a-droopin’ I know in my heart they think I’m Tall and hasty Think I’m just too tall and hasty Think I’m just too tall and hasty Can’t you see I’m tall and hasty? Look at me! I’m tall and hasty I went west with friend Perrin Therefore it’s apparent I’m too Rash and hasty Think I’m just too rash and hasty Think I’m just too rash and hasty I’m just too rash and hasty How’d I get so rash and hasty? I’ve been meeting, inspectin’ Ta’veren friends who won’t answer a question Still, when in danger, I must protect ‘em Goin’ back homeward; that’d leave me bored Alerting stedding by Traveling with Karldin after Rand al’Thor reunites with Min I know all the arcania really well I can recite it right now; have you dumbstruck for a spell Wanna visit all the grove sites (grove sites) When my friends need some help who do they call? I do everything for them all Get as many thank-you’s as a dog Oh, self-pity’s not my tack Now returning to the tone of this rap Watch out for that north winter sap Pop! Pop! Now this verse is kinda creaky I’m hasty in the extreme Taller than the ceiling beam I was in big book club and tree club And even the race team! Life on the road can get kinda hard When my new friends have lost their bard I walk into town and get all the stares Me and Trollocs sure are no pair They see me hackin’ They dyin’ And losing their lives ‘cause I’m so Big ‘N Hasty Just because I’m Big ‘N Hasty Just because I’m Big ‘N Hasty All because I’m Big ‘N Hasty Holy Wheel I’m Big ‘N Hasty I wanna write with the scholars But oh well it’s obvious I’m much too hasty Thinkin’ that I’m much too hasty Thinkin’ that I’m much too hasty I’m just too rash and hasty Look at me I’m much too hasty!

Winternight (Parody of Silent Night) A parody of Silent Night by Joseph Mohr as written by someone recounting some of the events of the final years of the Third Age. Silent night. Winternight. Gone the calm, come the fright. Run, young virgin, father, and horse. Let not fever take its course Trudge to the Winespring Inn. Trudge to the Winespring Inn. Silent night. Winternight. Shepherds quake at the sight Glorious stories of Manetheren. Gone two girls and five good men. Flee for your life; don’t cease! Flee for your life; don’t cease! Silent night, Winternight. Lews reborn, eyes abright. Radiant webs from thy affixed Lace Come with Dawn, a power base Gitara, dead at thy birth! Gitara, dead at thy birth!

Void of Colours (Parody of Hoist the Colours) A parody of Hoist the Colours by Hans Zimmer (and performed by Bobby Bass et al) as written by the Shadow. Elaida’s a wreck Stole the stole from Siuan’s neck Unbound her from her Oaths The Tower is ours And by His power The Blue they all will loath Hear ye, all lands Raise six colors high Red, White, Grey, and Yellow Green and Brown shall vie Now some have died And some are alive And others with Logain flee With Domani to sway And the Captain to pay They will Salidar see. Hear ye, all lands The Council wields their might Black souls, thieves, and killers Never shall they die Thirteen, all together Raise the chaos high Black souls, thieves, and killers Never shall they die Chosen are raised From their Ghuly grave Do you hear blood’s sepulchral tone? It calls to all We must Lews stall And turn raven sails from home Hear ye, all lands Let no Darkfriend be shy Shadowsouled, hounds, and beggars Never shall we die Let us. Fight. Each other. Raise the selfishness high Burn our souls to cinder Never shall we die

The Cardslayers (Parody of The Cardplayers) A parody of The Cardplayers by Corb Lund as written by Mat Cauthon. Well, I guess I should not have mentioned Aielmen. These Tairens don’t like their fear. I had better tell some tale to amuse them. Bain kissed at the point of a spear. And if I thought that danger like this came from card games I’d show up less often ‘round here. I must say Rand’s a madman; he’s really quite crazy. I’ll saddle Pips and depart Tear. But I’d sure like to know what they’d say through that doorway. Those answers were clearly too few! Escape failed to include in three Finnish requests. But fools sometimes get lucky too. Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be a fool. Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be one too. Glances have been made by “respectable” locals. At the rolls of my usual kind. A less savory inn filled with merchants and cutpurses You would be hard-pressed to find. Players like that could kill a man quickly. I’ll pay for their drink and their fun. My luck should give coin back in the interest of safety In loss I see luck, but not Tuon. And I’d sure like to know what became of that merchant. He left without getting his due. What toughs failed to account for in their agitations Is that fools sometimes get lucky too. Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be a fool Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be one too The gleeman, he says that his wits as a grey-bearded performer may be impinged. Tuon thinks she’s entitled to command by sovereignty, birthright, and citizenship. Did these toughs attack because we showed too much gold coin? Vane’s presence a story does tell. Well, at least all this violence, death, and destruction sold this inn to Tuon - not a hell. Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be a fool Fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be one too Yeah, fools, they get lucky, and I guess I must be one too

The Land of the Rising Sun (Parody of The House of the Rising Sun) A parody of The House of the Rising Sun (as popularized by The Animals) as written by Thom Merrilin. There is a land called Cairhien They call the Rising Sun And it’s been the ruin of many a poor man And Light, I know I’m one Dena was a gleewoman She met Halen’s grandson Then went to fetch knives from Ivon Down in Cairhien Now the only thing this gleeman needs Is a knife and a pawn And the only thing that will satisfy Is the fall of Galldrian Oh, mother, tell your children Not to do what I have done Spend your lives free of Daes Dae’mar and land of the Rising Sun. Well, I got one hand on the ship’s rail My feet hanging down the stern I’m goin’ back to Caemlyn town To see what time has earned. Well, there is a land called Cairhien They call the Rising Sun And it’s been the ruin of many a poor man And Light, I know I’m one

Yeah the notion that the Dark One is a somehow necessary component of humanity and that his absence would be in some sense bad or unnatural is definitely a deviation from Christian theology. But setting aside that a work needn't mirror the author's beliefs that much (see Tolkien), I don't know what else he could have done in the world he set up. The Dark One can't die, or the whole metaphysics of WoT sort of breaks down.

That chapter never ceases to amuse. It constantly shows up as a massive outlier. For example, if I take a look at the file sizes for all the chapters I have in Markdown format, most chapters are around 20-30KB, but AMOL 37 is nearly half a megabyte: And then there's u/JaimTorfinn's word count chart:

I don't know any of the others but Terez is active on Reddit and Discord. She seems to focus on DBZ and other franchises these days, but did respond when I PM'd her a WoT-related question last year. Her Discord name is simply 'terez' and she's on the Dragonmount Discord and a couple other WoT discords. She also moderates r/dbz and other DBZ subs. I swear I'm not a stalker; I tracked her down to ask permission to add a picture that had her name on it to the Fandom wiki. Well... I say "tracked her down" but the reality is that a couple days after I saw that picture I happened to come across her comments in a Sanderson AMA while verifying something Sanderson said and realized from her username that she was clearly the same person.

Thank you; glad to know at least one person benefitted from my trip down this particular rabbit hole.

"One" is often used as an indefinite third-person pronoun. As in "one does not simply walk into Mordor." I tend to try to use it in place of "I" or "you" where it makes sense just because repeated use of "I" can sometimes make a post sound a bit egotistical and repeated use of "you" can sometimes come across as accusatory. In this case, "one" just refers to anyone looking at the text and trying to reconcile your theory with what they read. I'm afraid I don't follow, but I assume you've drawn some inference based on a misunderstanding of my use of "one." You don't "have" to in the sense that you aren't obligated to, but you "have" to in the sense that this theory begs the question of why Rand apparently has a channeler's reaction to channeling the Power when, according to your theory, he didn't channel the Power at all. Theories which create more holes than they fill tend not to be very compelling, which means one "has" to explain such discrepancies if one wants one's theories and explanations to be taken seriously. For example, say a reader were to theorize that Olver is Gaidal Cain reborn. That suggests that Gaidal Cain was somehow reborn about nine years before we see him appear in the narrative. So for anyone to take the theory seriously, they have to reconcile this, which they usually attempt to do by suggesting that TAR's time dilation means "anything goes" with respect to chronology (it doesn't, but that doesn't stop people from claiming it does). On the flip side, say an early reader were to suggest that Ba'alzamon is actually not the Dark One. They would have to reconcile this with the apparent "hole" that various characters equate him with the Dark One. This is easily done by explaining that (1) the characters are mistaken, (2) that Ba'alzamon was a bit insane and may have even believed he was the Dark One, and (3) that Ba'alzamon leading the forces of the Shadow during the Trolloc Wars may have caused even those on the side of the Shadow to begin conflating the two. That specific way you're referring to doesn't appear in TEOTW at all. That specific way appears in the POVs of channelers who consciously channel the Power. Moreover, even when we know for a fact that Rand is consciously channeling in TEOTW (Ch 51), it doesn't quite get that specific sort of description. The first two or three books are quite notorious for what we call "early book weirdness" - things that don't quite fit with later descriptions, events, and worldbuilding. Examples include Rand and Ishamael in the sky at Falme (TGH) and Rand at Tarwin's Gap (TEOTW), among many others. So a minor deviation in description between TEOTW and later books doesn't always mean much. That said, I don't think Rand refreshing Bela is at all an example of early book weirdness. It's just the only example of unconscious channeling from the POV of the channeler that we see (along with events on the Spray and at The Dancing Cartman). It's a little odd to cite the lack of other people thinking a thing while putting forth a theory that, to my knowledge, no one else has ever suggested. You seem to be inferring that I meant another person (presumably a channeler) lit the pipe for Rand. I can see why you'd think that, but that is not what I was suggesting at all - indeed, that possibility hadn't even occurred to me, and I agree with you that it is unlikely for pretty much the same reasons you list. They were trying to do the same basic thing (remove the Dark One's ability to touch the world). But, as I said, they weren't trying to do precisely the same thing. In the words of Albert Nimziki, "That's not entirely accurate." With or without the female Aes Sedai, Lews' plan was to patch the Bore with the Seals, which was not Rand's plan during the Last Battle. Here is Lews' original plan: Lews ended up making do with only male channelers, but the plan was always a patch on the Bore supported by cuendillar seals. That was not what Rand was trying to do in the Last Battle, though re-doing what Lews did was vaguely his plan at earlier times. In TGS 15, he decides to destroy the seals "in order to rebuild the Dark One's prison." And of course that's what he ends up doing - resetting the prison to it's pre-Bore state.

True, but Rand is channeling unconsciously when he refreshes Bela, so one wouldn't expect it to describe the Taint the same way. Moreover, one then has to explain the Baerlon reaction absent channeling the Power. And reconcile that with his reaction on the Spray following his channeling to hit the Trolloc with the boom and, of course, the same thing again with the lightning at The Dancing Cartman. Devising some novel mechanism that is otherwise never mentioned aside from the pipe (and, again, I'm not even totally convinced that Rand himself even lit the pipe) rather than extrapolating from Moiraine's explanation of wilder channeling and applying it to what we see from Rand in the same book, seems to me a very complex solution to a very simple problem. Further reading: http://13depository.blogspot.com/2005/03/onset-of-rands-channelling.html There might be some confusion here, though I can't tell if you have some of the details wrong or are just being understandably imprecise. Lews and Rand weren't trying to do precisely the same thing. Lews was trying to patch the Bore. Rand was trying to remove it. Relatedly, there may not have even been a Mat/Perrin role to fill in the AoL. When we talk about the same things "happening before" in WoT, we're generally not talking about AoL stuff, though there clearly are parallels between AoL events and Third Age events. Rather, we're usually talking about Third Age events from previous Turnings of the Wheel (the stuff Herid Fel was talking about).