Dear Black Tower - A Shayol Ghul Confessional

[Mirshann Uuranor]

*takes pictures of invisible iTrollocs*

 

I'm going to add these to my collection. ;D

[Guest BaLefireP]

You find a way around everything don't you?   ;D

[Mirshann Uuranor]

What are we talking about? ???

 

*contemplates licking the lies* <_<

[LedZepMan]

I really have no idea

[Guest BaLefireP]

LOL, I do!  8)

[LilyElizabeth]

Of course we have cookies. *brings out platter with all sorts of assorted cookies*

 

 

and the rumors that they will control your mind are simply untrue. Do I look controlled to you? Bah!

 

[Guest BaLefireP]

*uses a flashlight and checks Lilys eye*

 

Yep, look controlled to me!  ;)

[Mirshann Uuranor]

I think my camera is broken.  Could you take a look at it for me?

Lookie.

[Guest BaLefireP]

*looks*

 

O.o

 

Yes sir! It do be broksies!

[Aust]

pandy was absolutely correct about the myrdralls too - I AM cute and cuddly!! :D

[Moghedian]

*Strolls in with a couch hovering behind her, held with flows of air*

*Places the couch down on the grass and sits down in a conveniently placed armchair*

My, what a charming place you have here. *Steals a cookie* I understand that the taint can put a great deal of strain on the lives of... people... like you all. I am here to listen to all these delusions of power issues that you may have and help you work towards a solution that benefits everyone. *Smiles as sweetly as she can (without gagging), blinking away the occasional black flecks that flash across her eyes*

 

So, who's first?  ;D

 

 

 

[cosmicpanda]

Dear Black Tower:

 

I thought that I would share a few products of our democratic system, to show how it works for the common good.

 

 

Popular with trollocs and darkfriends everywhere, and known by the popular mascot "Ribald McDonald". Popular meals include the Unhappy Meal, aimed at small children and always including a small weapon such as a knife or miniature automatic rifle so that children may regulate their play more efficiently.

 

 

See here the glowing skin and smouldering eyes! Animal testing and vivisection guaranteed.

 

 

Made with the original recipe, sure to make you higher than a kite! Not to be mistaken for the well-known competing brand:

 

 

Which is better? Many would go for this instead:

 

 

As always, our doors are open. Please think carefully about what I said in the opening post.

[ed2funy]

*struts in*

Black Tower, full of men and crazy ladies who think they are men and can channel who can channel the Power.

See, we already have things in common! Why would we wanna kill you?

So, *sets out a platter of cookies, tossing brownies to the floor*

 

Eat! Be unmerry! Please, enjoy yourselves. while you can

[Talya]

*Balefires Ed* He knows why!

 

Welcome to the rest of...please have some of our Brownies, made by my own hands, only the best for our guests :)

 

And Moggie sweetie, there is no strain here, the Taint frees us, you should try it sometime!

 

MEEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We have trollocs here, do you think they will be as nice as the hobbits for our stew? We'll have to take off the hooves and beaks etc first though...we could use those bits to make the stock!

 

 

[Moghedian]

*Inspects the brownies*

*Nibbles on one*

*Rearranges the somewhat carnivorous cushions on the couch*

[Edielin]

Shayol Ghul is a major contributor to world economic measures, with the largest worldwide exports of serial killers since the outbreak of "Make Your Own Jack the Ripper" disguise kits. The group is paid undisclosed amounts per annum for creative ways in which to break the Geneva Convention, entitling them to a reputable status as an international and benevolent charity. A recent initiative ("Visit the SG Biological Weapons Lab") has been wildly successful, and several new SGBW are poised to open across the globe. :P

[Naeann]

Now we have that dastardly and horrendously ugly Org leader under our control!!!!

 

MUWHWHWHWHWHWHWHWHHWHWHWHa

 

You shouldn't talk about Talya like that.  She is a very beautiful Org leader.

[TheMasterDude]

*appears in a cloak of shadows*

 

Welcome to the Black Tower. Enjoy your stay and watch out for the taint! Oh and my experiment chamber Lair!

[Nynaeve]

Yeah, he keeps his lair very tidy. It's sort of creepy. Scares me every day.

 

Talya, at your request *tilts head* ;)

 

 

 

 

Nyn

[Guest BaLefireP]

*peeks in the experiment chamber Lair*  ;)

[Twitchy]

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for attending this seminar on "The New SG: Evil at its best."

 

 

 

Recently we at Shayol Ghul have realized that we somehow acquired a reputation of being, "The dirty kind of evil," "Nothing but a bunch of Dark One followers," or even "A place you really don't want to be. Like, really, they pull limbs apart and feed them to hairy Trollocs. Talk to my friend Georgia she had her cousin Larry stumble across a camp and they had a couple kiddies boiling in a cookpot, the smell was horrendous and from that point on he's been telling people how absolutely terrible Shayol Ghul is."

 

But I just want to note that we have no intentions of boiling your family, tearing their limbs apart, and eating them one by one.*

 

We've decided that our image has been corrupted by a multifarious amount of people who know nothing of the intricacies of our Social Group. These people have been taken care of, but I mean that in the most humane way possible.*

 

Anyway, we are supposed to be the ones corrupting people, aren't we?

 

 

But we do so in a sophisticated, polite manner. We try to teach Lightfools how classy we truly are. Worshiping the "Dark One"? We have no idea where that fable came from, let alone discriminating photos such as this one. I assure you that it is an attempt by mudslingers trying to destroy our image.

 

 

Clearly an amateur yellow journalist at work. We do not love to kill people. We do it out of necessity. If we slaughter a family and feed it to our Trollocs, it is likely because a member was found with an incurable and extremely infectious bacteria, such as Appendicitis, and we attempted to save lives by stopping the disease in its tracks.

 

After all:

 

 

In my closing point, I beg of you to reconsider your misconceptions about our group and our members, we are only here to help.

 

 

 

 

*These statements have not been have not been evaluated by the Good and Evil Administration. This organization is not intended to help, love, or assist any lightfool.

[Talya]

Ahh, we have Twitch in out domain, now that's someone I've wanted to get in my chamber of torture that is

 

*blows a kiss to Nyn* this place wouldn't be the same without you!

 

*blushes* Nae how sweet of you, we could do with more like you here... ;) *stuffs Nae in her pocket*

 

I suggest a tour of TMD's Torture Lair, I'm sure it will prove to be so much fun *smiles sweetly*

 

*Whilst all look in TMD's Lair, raid SG's Biological Weapons Lab and steals stuff*

[Edielin]

Oh, I wouldn't. :P

 

In the BT, you may steal stuff.

 

But in that lab, that stuff may steal you. :P We said they were biological weapons for a reason... That's where we store the members that can't quite stand up to our enlightened standards, by which we mean human speech. Useful, but hardly beneficial to our image. :P

[Aust]

Twitch is right - we really do only perform killings of mercy. Why, just yesterday we killed a lady wearing white after Labor Day! Poor thing. Whait.. what? Labor Day isn't for another month? eh, details.  ::)