Wheel of Time according to Non-WoT fans.

[Moon Sedai]

So, this is inspired by the New Trollc Thread.

 

My husband, other than being a general evil man (The dude pulls for Sauron and Emperor Palpatine every time) is pretty ardent about not reading the Wheel of Time.

 

So, this is his version of the tale:

 

 

 

There's this dude named Rand. he and a bunch of guys from his home town go off with an Aes Sedai named Moiraine, a gleeman, and a girl named Nynnnve.

They travel all over the world and discover he is the Dragon Reborn.

Meanwhile, the good guys,the followers of the Evil ones, are systematically slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Nynnnnnve falls in love with Moirine's warder, some sort of magical slave-man.

 

And Rand gets three &*^%$es. And they don't mind. One even carries his spawn. And Rand finds out he was adopted, and was really some sort of savage spear-fighting Irishman. And one friend marries a total pain in the butt while the other is in to S&M.

Oh, and at some point, Rand starts talking to himself, goes insane, loses his hand like Luke and is going to die. But will probably survive because he's such a Mary Jane.

 

Did I leave anything out, Moonie? Oh, yea..

There is all kind of colored ajahs- and the Red are feminazis and the Green are slutty.

 

 

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

best summary i've ever read

[Moon Sedai]

He's never read beyond the first chapter of EoTW.

But he does get to the heart of the tale.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

not much happens after that, really.

[lolguy26]

loool next time my friends ask me what WoT is ill give them that summary

 

literally ROFL

[Moon Sedai]

I transcribed it from his description.

[Christine]

Showing this to the husband.

[Leelou]

LOL that's good.

[randomh3r0]

Hahaha, i was laughing out loud.

[Moon Sedai]

So, this is inspired by the New Trollc Thread.

So, this was inspired by the New Trolloc Thread.

Bad Moon!

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

i think verb started a trend...

[Moon Sedai]

Hey, at least I'm not begging to be my own dog.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

i think that ones been done too well to improve on. good lord...

[Niniel]

So, this is inspired by the New Trollc Thread.

 

My husband, other than being a general evil man (The dude pulls for Sauron and Emperor Palpatine every time) is pretty ardent about not reading the Wheel of Time.

 

So, this is his version of the tale:

 

 

 

There's this dude named Rand. he and a bunch of guys from his home town go off with an Aes Sedai named Moiraine, a gleeman, and a girl named Nynnnve.

They travel all over the world and discover he is the Dragon Reborn.

Meanwhile, the good guys,the followers of the Evil ones, are systematically slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Nynnnnnve falls in love with Moirine's warder, some sort of magical slave-man.

 

And Rand gets three &*^%$es. And they don't mind. One even carries his spawn. And Rand finds out he was adopted, and was really some sort of savage spear-fighting Irishman. And one friend marries a total pain in the butt while the other is in to S&M.

Oh, and at some point, Rand starts talking to himself, goes insane, loses his hand like Luke and is going to die. But will probably survive because he's such a Mary Jane.

 

Did I leave anything out, Moonie? Oh, yea..

There is all kind of colored ajahs- and the Red are feminazis and the Green are slutty.

 

 

 

LMAO!

[Nynaeve]

I guess he didn't get far enough to involve threesomes.... le sigh.

 

 

 

 

Nyn

[Moon Sedai]

His only references to WoT are from conversations I have with the few friends we have that read it and from hearing me talk about it.

 

Cause whenever he's near me and I'm reading, he'll ask me "So, what's going on" especially if I'm showing some sort of involvement in the story (Or if I laugh, giggle, sneer, or make any expression to the book whatsoever).

[Moon Sedai]

I get funny questions like "Who's Elaida agian? is that one of Rand's &^*()es?"

 

 

 

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

... i haven't read these in a while. is she?

[Sorcha al'Parr]

that's messed up, but hilarious at the same time.

[Masema]

Lol, that's a good one.

[Starrik]

I get funny questions like "Who's Elaida agian? is that one of Rand's &^*()es?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hilarious. Rand would die if that happened. I reckon he's got his hands full as it is.

[ThorkinBarrimore]

I still laugh everytime I remember when I had all of my Christmas cards displayed (mostly all DM) and

my mother randomly picked one out and read it.

 

Then, she paused and asked why a stranger would want to "bind" me? (Note: This was a couple years ago

and it was Zosime's card saying she couldn't wait to bond me.) Mom thought it was some type of threat.....

well, Zo is a member of the Reds so maybe she was onto something.

[EmperorAllspice]

Say, I support the bad guys too.

 

...someone has too ^__^

[LilyElizabeth]

Did we just get called "bad guys"?

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

by someone who can't spell to, i believe.