Is wot crack?

[Guest Lord Captain Valda]

For someone who considers himself smarter thaa your average bear and a discriminating reader, i find it hard to rationalize for myself, not to mention the world at large, why I continue to read these books. At least I can take solace in the fact I haven't paid money for any book since five, which of course, has already lost its rick-shaw quality Tor cover. I came down to this realization: I already read eight books, goddammit- I have to think my time is worth something. I read each new book at a slower pace than the preceding one, hoping vainly to validate my needs. Whenever i hear that "BOOK X IS OUT!" I slather at the mouth and beg to be first in line for my more gullibles friends' copies when they finish. This slathering and twitching brings the truth out, for me at least- tWoT is crack, sold in the form of a book. It starts out nice enough, but the high diminshes the more you put in your body. You develope a kind of tolerance to seeing fire thrown through the air and hearing vaguely articulated plots by hidden Forsaken. By the time you hit book seven or so, you are now an addict: you no longer necessarily WANT the next book, but your need for it abides. It can lie dormant for years at a time, in which you can read actual pieces of "Literature"(you know-the good stuff they compare Jordan to when he gives them dumptrucks filled with money), but when you hear those magic words "BOOK X IS FINALLY OUT!" you begin shaking like a dope head whose methadone prescription has run out. You need the fix, and you gobble it up lickety-split. Afterwards you are left feeling dirty, confused, unsatiated and more than a little ashamed. Some readers content themselves with blatant lies, such as the popular "Oh, this book was transitional- he's building to something BIG." So they said in books 4-8. In book nine something happens nine pages from the end, after six hundred-odd pages of filth. This "something" should have happened in book five, max. If Jordan wasn't paid by the word, no doubt it would have been. As it stands, I loathe this series about as much as I'm capable of while still retaining my addiction. In the meantime I will lambast it wherever possible, and after every new book read some real authors in an attempt to get the taste of Jordan outta my mouth. Thank god a Storm of Swords came out a week after Winter's Heart. The joy of reading Martin was more than enough to kill my self-loathing for being a Jordan junkie.

Oh yeah, one last thing: I hope all of you Jordano-philes out there have realized the sad truth: he will die before he finishes this damned series. By book thirty one(which will take place about four weeks after book nine, knowing the way he keeps things a'movin') Rand will have seven arms, each tattooed, three pregnant women and a necklace made of forsaken ears. He will have conquered Seanchan in three hours using Callandor, helped by Perrin, whose control over animals will now extend to Elk, weasels and wombats. Why wombats? Because he's Ta'veren, of course. Once the elite Wombats of Manetheren have destroyed the Deathwatch guard and routed the three forsaken fiendishly scheming to control Rand >again<, the last chapter will see a litter of septuplets brought by shaidar haran to Shayol Ghhul. These septuplets will, of course, be reincarnated forsaken sent out to screw up another plan and be disemboweled by the ever increasing power of the slack-jawed yokels Jordan chose as his protagonists. When this book, which will be called "The Litter of Seven" is completed, Jordan will run out of air in the room he writes in. He wil die feebly and alone at the age of 98. Why will he die of suffocation? Because some of the money piles laying around him will fall onto his head, causing a wad of franklins to lodge themselves down his throat. At that point, the series will be picked up by the grandson of Terry Goodkind or someone of equally poor writer's stock. Tor books, by then a subsidiary of Wizards of the Coast, will continue the series again, at the breakneck spped of one book per day in the life of randland.

 

This was a review on amazon for winters heart. I find it partially amusing and partially true. It speaks for itself. Comments?

[Kadere]

I actually sat here are read that whole article. I feel proud of myself. And I'm glad to know that it was taken off of Amazon, and that you didn't write it yourself.

 

I will completely admit that Wheel of Time is crack. I think everyone must agree to that. You can't get through Lord of Chaos without then forcing yourself to read the rest of the series.

 

On the otherhand I disagree that Jordan is a hack, or that he's simply writing this many books for the money in it. Jordan is brilliant, and I LOVE these books, and if he kept writing them till book 31, I'd keep buying them. But he won't, the series will be done at book 15... or 18 (I don't know how many "outrigger" novels he'll write, so we've got AMoL+2 more prequals+3 "outrigger" novels= 18 books) and I will enjoy everyone.

 

And I CERTAINLY hope he doesn't joke to death on his money and die alone. Personally I thought that was a little harsh.

[gonyong]

mmmm...can someone tell me where the phrase: "let the lord of chaos rule before" came from? I know Taim said it...did it come from somewhere else? Okay, quick question guys (if no one minds), being the newbie here and all...is Taim or Logain going crazy? Is Taim a darkfriend? And a little side note: A Knife of Dream rocks.

[Kadere]

The saying is "Let the Lord of Chaos rule." It's first said in Lord of Chaos, it's the orders that the DO gives to Demondred during their meeting. Demondred then goes and tells the rest of the Forsaken that they are to "Let the Lord of Chaos rule."

 

Some believe (me being one of them) that Taim IS a Darkfriend, if not more. His use of this saying at the end of KoD, along with the red and black colors and the design of a fist clutching lightning bolts, (for me at least) clenches that he is in fact a darkfriend, if not more. Other's believe that he may of just picked the saying up somewhere, or that one of his asha'men is in fact a Forsaken or darkfriend, and is compeleing him to do bad things. Buttom line is that we still aren't 100% certain he is a bad guy.

 

Logain is very much believed to be a good guy. He helps Rand, Nynaeve, Min, Suian, and many others. It's believed (by some) that he is actually going to defeat Taim and take control of the asha'men, but for now that's speculation.

 

None of the asha'men are believed to be mad. Since Rand did away with the taint at the end of Winter's Heart, it would be assumed that no longer can male channlers be turned mad. So thus Taim and Logain are not mad. If you find Taim a little nuts, I believe it's a side-effect of his bad guy status. Logain, I don't think, ever showed signs of madness.

 

If you search the board you'll find A LOT of threads on these topics.

[SinisterDeath]

Way to derail the thread......

[son omerc]

IF, and that's a big if, tWoT is crack, then I'm nothing but a big crack ho.

 

I don't know why people can't just walk away from something they don't actually like. I've walked away from a lot of books and even series that I didn't like. Do they actually think their whining is going to make RJ speed up? Come on, RJ doesn't care about people that denigrate his work, he might chuckle on his way to the bank, but he really doesn't care one way or another. IF, and again that's a big if, I could write as well as RJ I couldn't care less what a handfull of disgruntled readers of my bestselling 11 book series thought about my writing style or speed.

 

Has anyone, besides myself, ever considered that RJ is the unluckiest man in the universe? He is the only person who has known how this story ends for the last 20 years. No waiting with baited breath for the next exciting installment of this amazing series, he knows all in advance. I've written, and orally told, original stories and I know there is a certain pleasure involved in the creation and the actual unfolding of a story, but it cannot compare to the pleasure I derive in reading, or listning, to someone elses creation. I wouldn't trade RJ lives in relation to this story for anything. Knowing the ending would spoil so much of the enjoyment of reading each page of the final book.

[Ashandarei]

IF' date=' and that's a big if, tWoT is crack, then I'm nothing but a big crack ho.

 

I don't know why people can't just walk away from something they don't actually like. I've walked away from a lot of books and even series that I didn't like. Do they actually think their whining is going to make RJ speed up? Come on, RJ doesn't care about people that denigrate his work, he might chuckle on his way to the bank, but he really doesn't care one way or another. IF, and again that's a big if, I could write as well as RJ I couldn't care less what a handfull of disgruntled readers of my bestselling 11 book series thought about my writing style or speed. [/quote']

 

WoT is most definitely crack and as u said, son o'meric, i too am most definitely a crack ho :)

 

I also agree with your second point that he most probably doesn't care one bit whether 3/100 readers of his crack-a-licious(in a good way) series seems to hate it but continues to read.

 

Thirdly, to Lord Captain Valda, i was rather relieved that it was a review from amazon, and not your own writing, because i really didn't want someone who hated RJ that much posting that kinda stuff on this forum, it just fosters arguments for no reason other than whether ppl like or don't like the author.

[Aminalcrakers]

Hello everyone...My name is Aminalcrakers and I am most definately a WoT addict, and therefore a crack ho as well.

 

I admit it, i would do pretty much anything to get the next book, I love them I can't get enough of them. LIke Crack, they make me feel great. Like crack, Im always wanting more. And like crack, they are bad for my health...reading till 6 when you have 8 am classes is BAAAAd.

 

But I am content, and I doubt, that RJ is anywhere within a thousand miles of being a hack. This is because I do believe if he was, I would stop, I could stop anytime I want....wait thats a lie. BUT if he was a hack I would stop, and I do not. So therefore!....he is not a hack...

 

and it did make me happy that you did not write that comment...Thank you and good day:)

[Red States Rule!]

Let's see how many people actually get the below:

 

 

Mannnnnnnnn............ I got these Cheeseburgers mannnnnnn..........

[Kaznen]

I'm the first to vote NO!!!

 

Ya, I've read the series more times then I can count, but, except on a new release I can go weeks at a time without reading any WoT. Then I'll read a few chapters I like, half a book, but then its only entertainment.

 

Now, SoT, that is crack. I read the first sentence of Wizards First Rule and couldn't stop until I read to the end of the series (Temple of the Winds at the time). I like SoT but it is lesser of WoT. And until Faith of the Fallen, SoT was not only addictive as crack but about as wholesome.

[Guest Lord Captain Valda]

Yes, I do believe tWoT is crack and that was my partially true part. The part that I dont believe in is RJ being a hack. Of course i didnt writr it. I love tWoT. If you dony believe me go to Amazon, type in winters hear, and scroll down to the review. ust thought it would make for some interesting conversation. :P

[Ashandarei]

---sry, part of general discussion--- i erased this entry.

[Jonn]

Let's see how many people actually get the below:

 

 

Mannnnnnnnn............ I got these Cheeseburgers mannnnnnn..........

 

Menace 2 Society.

[Inara]

hi everyone..my name is Inara, and i'm a wot-addict

 

*hiiii Inarraaa*

 

i cant seem to stop doing this to myself, i read when i should be studying (ive gone into more than one exam unprpared because of this), i read through the night (i'm anaemic and i need 10h sleep).

it is masochistic and i love it

 

my parents tried intervention (my dad ripped up my copy of TSR) but i just fixed it and kept reading.

 

i hear myself quoting lini at people who are shitting me and i experience withdrawl symptoms...i'm usually back at these books within a month of finishing the series.

*sits back down loking defiant*

 

so, another series...the farseer trilogy, liveship traders, and the tawny man..all robin hobb.

magician is a great stand alone, or as part of the extended series, guy gavriel kay is also good.

[loki redfern]

wot is not crack its really good crack. now like reading in genneral there is good crack and bad crack (i'm told) and some stuff gives you a bad trip, say mills and boons and some is good. when you run out of the good you have to raid your grandma's house for mills and boon because the adiction takes over

[Guest Egwene]

No idea what it's like being on crack as I have never tried it (nor feel the need). But I understand addiction (just say chocolate and watch me desintegrate at the thought of it, lol).

 

Those guys that are lazy and just after the money shorten their books after the first few to action, action, action. They don't bother anymore with the nitty gritty and the finer details. In my opinion RJ has put as much effort and craftmanship into his first book as into the latest. Which is why I vote WoT the best fantasy series I am ever likely to read. No shortcuts, no listening to propaganda from the impatient listeners, but the delivery of a solid story beginning 'til end.

 

And I am addicted to it! :D come on, I even joined one of those forums to get a fix whilst waiting for aMoL... hmmm... what's it called... Dragonm... something or other..

[GoodGrief]

Mmmm ... WoT. Mmmm ... chocolate. That is all I have to say.

 

No seriously, I do agree that WoT is addictive, though I'm the kind of person who has to finish any series she starts no matter what (unless it really is a pile of unmitigated poopie, in which case it gets propelled at the nearest vertical surface with great gusto). As I recall, KoD came out amid the self-loathing, deep depression and withdrawal from all social interaction that marks the lead up to exams. Meanwhile here was I bouncing around in a state of dazed excitement saying "It's out! It's out! Look at me I'm a sho-wing! Wheeeee..." etc etc. I think a lotta people thought I was on something then.

 

As for that review, I don't think Jordan is stretching the series out for money, I think he's just got too many sub-plots springing up like weeds and they're taking over the garden. I still love the series, even if it did get get slow. Hopefully AMoL will not have any room for bath scenes.

[Blade]

I'm a WoT addict as well. As for the SoT series comment, I will say it was good, but it has gotten old and has really dissolved into nothing. I enjoy RJ and his wheel of time so much because his characters seem realistic and mortal. Mat is constantly getting cuts of various kinds, Rand just recently got his arm blown off, and Perrin has gotten hurt many times as well. Sword of Truth started out great for the first few books, but the last few haven't had even a patch on WoT.

[Inara]

thankyou, everyone is all "OMG SoT!!!"

it was drivel by book 4 (book 3 was pushing it)

the first 2 are awesome, but it just goes nowhere, cant handle it