I haz a sad ....

[Elgee]

Sometimes you just haz a sad ... let them out, here.

 

Edited January 6 by LilyElizabeth
Somehow I changed the thread title. I was putting it back.

[Delenn]

Our Bonds, especially our Gaidin, really are a part of us. 🤍 No matter the distance between you or time of the day you start to think the same, text randomly at the same times, feel the need to connect in the same moment. You close your eyes and you can feel each other like you are closer than the same breath. You know what the other is thinking and sometimes even feel it. You know when you need each other, even if you don't know how. A day without them can feel like forever and years apart can vanish in an instant when you feel their presence again. It's like no connection I have known. When it's gone, it's like a black hole is ripped through you. It never seems to heal but you wouldn't change it for the world. 💔

 

Something truly magic happens on these boards when we Bond deliberately and with genuine feeling. 🤍 I have a sad too, Sister. *snuggles* 🥲

[Wayward_fool]

I am lucky in a way I guess... 2 of my Bonds are still on the boards and 2 others are related to the first two, but Pete. I haven't seen him since a thousand years ago.

 

And on top of that, I have memories of numerous other friends I've made over the DECADES I've been here. I can say "decades" now, so you know how old I am on this site. I especially miss my RP mates like Arik Korpin, Dalinarius, Aunty Nia, Uncle Flubby, Empy. Mazzypoo, Callandor (yes there was an ashaman called Callandor, not the sa'angreal but the weakest male channeler ever) and a hundred other people who no longer come here. I miss silly stories, I miss Empy Awards, I miss the chatroom and I miss major RPs where a hundred people would do a thousand things and noone would get anything done, coz the books hadn't been written fully yet so the timeline couldn't advance. RPing was funny that way.

 

People come and go, I have learned. Even me, I've left and returned a couple of times, with Breakings and temp boards to boot and each time I've returned to new faces and a portion of remaining faces from previous times. I think everyone I started out with has either left or become a staff or just become inactive. So when I look around, I can't help but feel like a stranger in a familiar land. And I have a sad. 

 

But then I shake it off and sink into the familiar sense of love and camaraderie that these boards bring and I have a happy. So what I wanna say is, I'm happy to be back and glad that no matter what a Blue does out in the world, he will always have a home here to return to. My Ajah is pretty much empty right now, which is alright. Because I know my Blue brothers and sisters are out there making a difference and bringing Light to the places where its needed the most. Someday they might come back, or not. Some may get lost to the cause, or decide to leave the cause behind. But they're out there, like the Blues of a books. And that's what makes me proud of be a part of this Ajah. 

 

And yes, I have a sad once in a while. But it never lasts long. Not whilst there's so much injustice in the world to work on.

 

The Light bless you all.

[Millon]

I was just havin this conversation with ....one of my bondeds. lol Kathline Sedai. Her and Leelou I still keep in contact with regularly. Christmas cards. Inappropriateness. Anxieties and joys. I am definitely blessed. Every once in a while Marta and/or Amadine and I will say what's up on the socials. I miss my sword brother though and worry for him. Karasayl. Last I interacted with him was right before he was deployed like a decade ago. Maybe more. I don't know if somethin happened to him or even how to find out.  I have made so many friends and amazing memories in this space. It is a cornerstone of who I am. It saddens me that I have been so long away from here. 

 

I am sad all the time. I'm still recovering from a lot and the sad is like the DO himself inside of me. Fathomless. My boy keeps me goin though. Just last night, in a real low spot, I had the thought as I settled into my bed. Thank the light my boy is going to need me for all of his days. Cause I need him more. 

[Elgee]

So truly spoken *hugs her Sis*

[Wayward_fool]

14 minutes ago, Millon said:

I was just havin this conversation with ....one of my bondeds. lol Kathline Sedai. Her and Leelou I still keep in contact with regularly. Christmas cards. Inappropriateness. Anxieties and joys. I am definitely blessed. Every once in a while Marta and/or Amadine and I will say what's up on the socials. I miss my sword brother though and worry for him. Karasayl. Last I interacted with him was right before he was deployed like a decade ago. Maybe more. I don't know if somethin happened to him or even how to find out.  I have made so many friends and amazing memories in this space. It is a cornerstone of who I am. It saddens me that I have been so long away from here. 

 

I am sad all the time. I'm still recovering from a lot and the sad is like the DO himself inside of me. Fathomless. My boy keeps me goin though. Just last night, in a real low spot, I had the thought as I settled into my bed. Thank the light my boy is going to need me for all of his days. Cause I need him more. 

 Hey you! Long time no see. Sorry to hear you've been down. But it's ok. Boopsy's here! *prances around scattering dusty pink feathers* 

 

*ignores all the sneezing and evil looks*

 

[Elgee]

1 hour ago, Wayward_fool said:

So when I look around, I can't help but feel like a stranger in a familiar land. And I have a sad. 

 

But then I shake it off and sink into the familiar sense of love and camaraderie that these boards bring and I have a happy.

 

Oh Boopsy ... that really does say what I feel too!

I miss my Bondeds. I miss my old friends. I miss the things like the Empies too! The crazy chats on MSN.

But then I meet new people, and people like you and Delenn return, and I haz the happies again.

[Elgee]

@Millon *hugs* I'm glad you have your beautiful boy. He is so very special, heh?

 

And I miss Amadine too. Wish we could find out what happened to Karasayl, and a few others who were deployed.

[Millon]

2 minutes ago, Wayward_fool said:

 Hey you! Long time no see. Sorry to hear you've been down. But it's ok. Boopsy's here! *prances around scattering dusty pink feathers* 

 

*ignores all the sneezing and evil looks*

 

You are STILL just an absolute delight of chaotic energy and there isn't a one to compare on bringing levity and smiles to you, Sir Boopsie. The pleasure is still 100% mine. hahahaha

 

I've been dealin with the sad! Pretty well I think. At least, I'm taking honest steps and getting the help I think I need so..... it's just time. I am confident I will have good progress this year. 

[Wayward_fool]

1 minute ago, Millon said:

You are STILL just an absolute delight of chaotic energy and there isn't a one to compare on bringing levity and smiles to you, Sir Boopsie. The pleasure is still 100% mine. hahahaha

 

I've been dealin with the sad! Pretty well I think. At least, I'm taking honest steps and getting the help I think I need so..... it's just time. I am confident I will have good progress this year. 

*pokes your shoulder with a leftover salted buffalo rib* There! You've been blessed by the Wand of Salty Naughtiness© and now your life ahead will be nothing but wonderful and full of naughtiness. Never worry about what's ahead because if you live fully in the present then the future will take care of itself. 

[Delenn]

2 hours ago, Elgee said:

So truly spoken *hugs her Sis*

 It was certainly our Bond that helped bring me back here! *Grins and hugs back* I did miss you in particular so desperately! Late night chats about.... salt baths and things. lmao! 

 

It is pretty wonderful getting to know people from different times on DM. It really is like the books. We take vows to always remember this as our family and to always return. It has felt that way to me through the years. Like the books, we go out into the world and then return again. Sometimes to stay.❄️🤍😉

[Arie]

There is a strange therapy in sadness. I have spent more time encouraging people to live their lives than to try and include myself with them. I miss my warders. I miss a lot of people, many of whom live very, very far away from me. Many I have shared drinks with, and others I have not even given a hug to. 

 

But the one blessing I have to say about ADHD, is while I miss them a lot, when I get to see them or talk to them again all the love and care I have for that person rushes back and it's like they were never gone.

 

Perhaps that is why I keep returning to places with many strong memories and/or emotions, like here, despite the negative memories and the painful reminders that also come along with that ADHD trait.

[Millon]

10 hours ago, Arie said:

There is a strange therapy in sadness. 

Absolutely this. It is a part of life. You need to be able to face, process and deal with your sadness. Trying to avoid it or act as though it isn’t there is worse than the sadness itself. It festers like the DO’s touch. A, sort of recent, interview of the actor Andrew Garfield with Stephen Colbert, at least in where sadness is in grief, Garfield talks about the passing of his mother and how he hopes to never lose the grief because it’s [paraphrasing] “all the unexpressed love that he had for her. It’s not an emptiness or a loss just unexpressed love.” It really had an effect on me and how I view sadness. Or, at least, a different lense to view what current sadness I’m experiencing. Maybe the sadness I feel in a given moment is just another unexpressed emotion that I haven’t processed. It’s helped so much. 

[Cross]

that thought helped me with my own mom's passing. also the idea that 'grief is love with nowhere to go' 

[Arie]

3 hours ago, Cross said:

'grief is love with nowhere to go' 

 

This. Absolutely this. 

[Delenn]

These two statements together are truly balms to the heart when it hurts. And both are so beautifully articulated here. Grief is love unexpressed and there is a strange (and beautiful) therapy in sadness. Even down to considering the healing composition of tears and the chemical changes in our bodies and brains during long hugs and snuggles. Which is perhaps why we are also fond of them around here. We all end up bearing so much in our lives, the comfort of those people and places we can count on become real lifelines as we try to navigate the receiving and releasing that is constantly going on. 🤍 

[Wayward_fool]

I think there's a universalness (is that a word? Can I copyright it?) in sadness. It's nice that no matter where we are in the world, how old we are or what we are up to in life we can still empathise with each other.

 

It's been more than 20 years for me. And in that time I've met so many terrible things and people and deaths and what not. I've been lied to, hurt and broken, But then I come back and some one starts a thread like this and it makes me feel less lonely in my grief and then things are better.

 

I had a sad. But so did everyone else. And that made it a lot better.

 

In other words... I WANT YOU ALL TO SUFFER LIKE I DID! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

 

Sorry. Had a mad ashaman moment there. *coughs*

[Elgee]

14 hours ago, Wayward_fool said:

In other words... I WANT YOU ALL TO SUFFER LIKE I DID! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

 

I adore you! *snugglewubblebites*

[Wayward_fool]

*gurgles* I adore you too... *bounces happily*

[Taymist]

Gosh, this thread. So many nails hitting things on heads. I've been dwelling and moping the last wee while thinking about friends lost. From DM in particular. It's just over two years since WhiteWolf passed away and that especially guts me every time I think about it. Likewise with Twinflower and Kristine. Hard to think they're no longer living in this world with me. But all of that sort of helps me be less sad about the people who've just not been on DM, as I know they're still living their best lives out there somewhere and maybe one day they'll return. And then familiar faces like Del pop up once more and that's just wonderful. ❤️

[Elgee]

*Hugs Taymist*

Although I didn't know WhiteWolf as long and as well as you did, but yeah - that hits me every time I'm reminded of it. He was such a wonderful human being, and such a mentor to me.

16 hours ago, Taymist said:

And then familiar faces like Del pop up once more and that's just wonderful. ❤️

 

And you, my dear! *loves*

[Taymist]

6 hours ago, Elgee said:

And you, my dear! *loves*

🥰 Awww. I don't think some of us ever truly leave do we? lol *hugs tight*

[Elgee]

Reds roam but they know where's home hehehe

[Wayward_fool]

Wait.... wait... wait.... TWINFLOWER PASSED AWAY??? *jaw drops* When? How? Wby? (I didn't know WhiteWolf and Kristine but I mourn for them too)

I... *heartbroken*

[Delenn]

*gathers in Boopsy and Elgee, all the Whites and anyone else who knew Twinnie* 😢

 

We (staff) don't have all the details, and have only ever been notified via Facebook. I'd say @Taymist is a reliable verification. Perhaps she has more information? I believe it's been a few years now though. I only found out when I was raised to White Sitter again after returning.  

 

Twinnie was a huge part of my time here too. Whites also have a tendancy to roam and return. To know one of us won't is heartbreaking. ❄️🤍❄️

 

Twinflower Sedai of the White Ajah. You will be missed Sister. 

And also for those others we may not have known but lost as well. Each one takes a little piece of us all with them. 🕯️

 

Edited January 20 by Delenn