Help me decide...

[Charis alAslan]

... whether or not to stay at my job.

 

Background - I'm a public school teacher of almost 7 yrs. 4 of those yrs have been spent teaching Chinese, which I love to do, except that as soon as the kids are asked to study something, they immediately play the 'Chinese is too haaaard!' card and parents start complaining. -__- I taught for 1 yr in China also - before public school teaching - where I was a visiting Lecturer of English in a large university. I also spent three yrs as an education administrator for a non-profit in Chinatown where I directed after school, summer day camp, academic tutoring and ESL programs. All together, I have over 10 yrs of education experience.

 

Currently - I am worn out, stressed out, burnt out and pissed OFF.  ::) I am sick of parents blaming me when their kids are lazy; and the administration coddling students by telling me I have to give them re-takes of the same exams without consulting me first. I'm sick of fudging grades so that the Chinese program looks good and gifted kids dont fail. I'm sick of preparing, planning and just thinking about lesson planning non-stop day in and day out. I'm sick of spending all night long - sacrificing my health and relationships - creating a multi-media presentation on powerpoint of just ONE lesson only to have my laptop stolen and then be unable to use it to teach. I'm sick of wasting day after day to create worksheets from scratch because the USA hasnt caught up with the fact that Chinese is an important language to make textbooks for. I'm sick of buying thousands of dollars worth of resources with my own money, only to have them ripped and destroyed by uncaring students. I'm sick of being told that I should feel lucky to have 'so many breaks, esp summer time, wow! That's, like, so living the life right there!' Those people can kiss my @$$. I'm sick of students not taking me seriously as their teacher and the first thing they wanna know if I tell them they will fail my class is whether or not they can sue me. Or better yet, run crying to the administration and manipulate them into feeling bad. I'm sick of being made to feel guilty even though I carry a load of 8 classes with over 32 in each class for not being able to meet every student's needs or not calling a parent immediately when they are missing an assignment. I also have a homeroom and an early morning ESL program. And I have to go cover other teachers' classes when they're out b/c I have a 'short program.' In addition, I'm on call for Chinese translation at ANY time during the day - even if it interrupts my lesson, or it's another teacher or guidance counselor that needs me to call on their behalf. o_O! I'm sick of having so much responsibility when I KNOW there are teachers in the school who sit on their @$$ all day and do little to nothing but get higher pay than I. I'm sick of the Dept of Ed telling me I still need to go to mandatory professional development workshops every yr just to keep my license when they do nothing to cover the expenses of travel or forgive even a bit of the loans I accumulated just to get my graduate degree in education. I'm sick of bending over backwards just to get every square inch of my @$$ kicked.

 

BUT, my husband's unemployed and we're barely making it on my one salary. So, even though I've developed panic attacks, stress-eat and have gained 35lbs,  have nightmares about my students, and dread waking up every morning to start teaching at 7:45am, I feel like I HAVE TO STAY.

 

Someone help me. I'm just venting here.  :'(

[Minuet]

First off vent away dear. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this frustration. The American school system is poisoned in my opinion. One reason why I home educated my kids who every thing are awesome and smart adults now.

 

So, can you apply for other jobs, maybe translating or something. I don't know what all is available in your area. I would start looking when you can, I know it seems impossible when you are putting in the hours you are. That and I would try to do somethings for yourself to de-stress some. Having your hubby not working right now is probably just adding to it all right now too.

[LilyElizabeth]

Sweetie, you left off all the other things that demand your time. Aren't you going to school? And ministering in your church? And not getting paid for that? I'd say you're in desperate need of some de-stressing. There's a three-day weekend coming up. If I were you, I'd lock the door, shut off the phone, draw a bubble bath, read a good (FUN!) book, and just let it all go for three days. I agree you need to quit, but you also need to eat. Maybe doors will open for you soon that will allow you to do both. *hugs*

[Charis alAslan]

@Min - thank you. I, too, will be homeschooling my kids. I will look you up for info once I actually start having them!  :D

 

@Lily - you're right! I didnt even think about any of those other things when I was angrily writing the above!  :o Damn, I'm busy...  :-\ I will be taking a somewhat break tomorrow - the hubby's taking me to a movie, so we'll be out a few hrs. Otherwise, I have tons of HW and quizzes to grade. People dont seem to understand that a 'day off' for teachers just translates into 'working from home'!  ::)

 

Thank you both for your support and encouragement.  :-* :-* :-* :-*

[charis sedai]

*cuddles her samename*

 

That's an awful situation, and I'm so sorry. I was a public school kid and yes, the system is flawed. That one sounds particularily bad.

 

My best advice would be to start looking, but that is hard to do with the hours you're working.

[Bursius]

Charis (the AS not the novice), corporations need to have their employees taught Chinese and other languages in a modern global oriented business climate.  I hear the pay is better, the benefits great, and the adults who are taught are well behaved - they can easily be fired for doing the things kids get away with.  A company will not ask you to fudge your grading or curriculum for students who fall behind or fail.  Students taking corporate sponsored classes want to get ahead and usually are goal-oriented.  Since you have a graduate Ed degree, you can become a dept head, not just an instructor.  Check out corporate web sites for openings and details.  There are also companies who do nothing but teach corporate employees of other large companies.  It is worth a look.

[Elgee]

Excellent advice from Burs, Min and Lily.

 

I'm not sure what you're home situation is, but if your husband is not working, could he perhaps help you out by doing some research on other job opportunities for you, as suggested by Burs and Min?

 

In the mean time, I'm sending you lots of virtual snuggles and positive vibrations. *hugs tight*

[JenniferL]

Find another job. Teaching is awesome, but public school poops all over it's teachers. I was a crazy woman when I taught in public schools. Now that I'm in the private sector, things are much calmer.  This is a good time of year to start looking at options for employment next fall.

[Marta Sedai]

Bursius gave u a great idea! I am not an American, and I have just finished high school, but the problem u have is custom in every public school in the world, and by teaching a language that is not so popular among children, and a hard one in addition, is like a punishment.

Maybe u could try finding a job in a private school, or a language school, or even try to find people that have a similar problem, and would be willing to open a language school with u. That way, you could be your own boss, but still teach what u like, with children that are less annoying and more responsible, because they do pay to get the education in that language.

My advice may be bad, but it is the only thing I can propose having my experience and being from another country.

Whatever u do, good luck, and don't let the stress get to u. It causes wrinkles, and no woman wants that  ;D

 

 

[Daruya]

How about applying to the State Dept (or whichever gov't agency is appropriate) as a translator?  Benefits for federal employees are great and you don't have to carry over a hundred students who don't want to expend any effort!

 

*hugs Charis*

[Wayward_fool]

I would say don't burn bridges till you've confirmed a few alternate routes. Or at least ONE confirmed route. So... you'll have to grit your teeth and bear it, confirm another job then quit this one. It can be an emotional thing, but don't make rash decisions.

 

I'll keep you in prayer Charis... just keep the faith. In the meantime, I can suggest you start sending your CV out, especially to recruitment/headhunting agencies and see what they can match you up with.

[Minuet]

I would also be open to moving. I know if you have deep roots to the area you are at it can be hard. However, you husband might be able to find work as well. You never know. This may be the beginning of something wonderful.

I know sometimes hard times have brought around blessings for my family and I. You never know and yes I'll be glad to share what I know when the time comes for home education. We honestly hadn't planned it. Pulled the boys out when they were in the First Grade and Kindergarten. I just couldn't handle seeing my youngest being beaten on a daily basis with the school doing nothing. Not to mention we had problems with our other son's Kindergarten teacher. I had planned on them returning to school, but they begged to not and well have turned out great. This and I don't have a college degree. My dad is shocked I didn't damage them. I think educated people can do a much better job at home education. I had to turn to people now and then for help.

[Millon]

I agree with all the statements above, but your last line is buggin me. You feel you have to stay. You sound like you are awefully involved in a lot of different things that, on there onset, were very enjoyable and stress free. Now, you are lookin at them as chores and not the things you once enjoyed. Do some re-evaluating and see what is important to you. You're ministering in a church? Maybe there is an out for you through the ministry. Aide a foreign charity group maybe? What I'm gettin to is that you obviously have a pssion for what you started and you probably have a feeling of abandonment for all the hours and tears of effort you put into this and you don't want to let it go.

With life changes, especially careers, it is nearly impossible to emotionally or financially start over.This leads to feeling trapped and even more stressed. It is something that needs to be done though. For yourself, hubby and the dear ones you hope to school at home. Good luck and God bless. Gotta get back to work now.

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Charis I always wanted to learn Chinese and I already knew it was a hard language to learn. I think if the students don't want to put in the time then that's there own damn fault. Learning another language is tough people get over it. *sigh*

 

Anyway hun I agree with the others I think see what you can find as a translator or something in your area. Like Min said don't be totally adverse to moving if maybe you can find something somewhere else that's better for you. *snug* I hope you find something I know how you feel to a degree because I work with students in a writing center, many of them drive me to distraction.

[Charis alAslan]

Thank you all for your wonderfully encouraging responses. *hugs all*

 

I did look up some of the job prospects you guys mentioned. And I've been trying to rearrange things a bit better for myself lately so that I wont be so absolutely stressed out about work. I actually confronted my Asst Principal about giving me coverages when I took on an extra period for Chinese advisory already. And they apologized and stopped giving my extra coverages!  :) That was helpful and also it made me feel more empowered. Not to mention that the other Asst Principal came in to scold one of my classes for their constant late and missing work threatening to put them in different classes. And after that they were really good!  :D

 

I think I've had a better few days. My husband and I have talked about moving many times, but it's just not feasible right now. We'd love to move overseas, but we have too many things holding us back at the moment. Obligations, you know. I'm sure I could stick it out another yr even with the leftover crap - if I have to. My husband really helped me see that I have a lot of pressure I'm putting onto myself as well and I need to slow down and rest. (Helps to be married to a psychotherapist! =P) So in addition to persevering as long as I can, I am going to make some changes that benefit my health so I dont drown in the next few months or so.

 

I appreciate all of you upholding me as I vented. So glad to have you as my online brothers and sisters.  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

[Minuet]

Glad we could help you hun. I know life gets bleak for us all sometimes and it is good to vent and let it out. I hope your hubby can find work soon and help out with some of the stress.

[LilyElizabeth]

Charis, you are very welcome, hon. I know I couldn't get through the tough times without my support system. You are blessed that your husband is so wonderful. The good stuff's on its way. Just hang in there. I really believe that there will be great happiness for all of us beginning this year. Don't know why I believe it, but I'm not the only one I know who has felt it.

 

 

[Charis alAslan]

*hugs*

 

And in the midst of all this, guess what I just found out...

 

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I'm pregnant!!!!  :o ;D

[charis sedai]

AAAAHHHH!!! CONGRATS!

[LilyElizabeth]

*giggles* When I said the good stuff's on its way, I didn't know how true that was. Congratulations, sweetie. Hormones could explain a lot of what you're feeling. So could exhaustion. Tell your hubby that I said it's time to pamper you! lol

 

 

[Elgee]

Oh wow ... that's wonderful news, Charis!

[Minuet]

Congratulations! What a blessing. Yes, the hormones will explain a lot. Hubby needs to give you foot rubs, back rubs and pamper you in the extreme. How exciting. I am so happy for you. Brightest of blessings on you and your new life growing in you. So, when is the due date?

[Marta Sedai]

Congrats!!! The baby will make everything else just a slight discomfort, not meaningful at all :D Just what u need!

[Loranflame]

Ooooooh.... Congrats. *huggles.*  ;D

 

General advice almost always applicable and applicable to anyone. Remember it.

It's practically one of my philosophies.  :P 

 

Relax and don't worry about things you can't change. That alone deals with a lot of stress. It may take practice since worrying is a bad habit. Worrying doesn't change anything... it just causes unnecessary stress which in turn leads to unpleasant situations and problems.  :)

 

Instead of worrying do one one of these two things.

1) Accept what you can't change.

2) Take action and change what you can change.

 

It makes life far simpler.  ;D

 

Hakuna Matata!  :D

 

 

 

 

[Charis alAslan]

Thanks everyone! I havent made an official announcement yet - except here =P - b/c I need to see my doctor to confirm. But a positive home pregnancy test and a missed period are pretty big signs.  ;) According to my calculations, the baby should be due in Sept. But who knows-babies come when THEY're ready, lols.

 

I think hormones have been setting me off lately and I didnt know it. Everything I said about my work is true - I'm way overloaded. And now I just feel it more. So, it is time to move on. I've decided I'll be at work til June and then that's it. Unless I absolutely have to return to work (hubby finds no job, or some other reason), I will be quitting by summer. Then I can have my baby and rest.

 

Hubby and I are still in shock, btw. We're afraid to feel yet b/c the doctor hasnt confirmed. I'm hoping to get an appt today. Cross your fingers for me! And thanks for sending me good vibes and well-wishes. We could use them, and your prayers!  :-* :-* :-*