IWW 2014: How do they do it?

[Panchi]

People across time, generations and backgrounds have inspired change. They have changed the society to change the way of its thinking about women. Women are not to confined to home but should have freedom to do what they wish. But the question is how do they do it?

 

This question is for all of you. What do you think how they did inspire a change?

[Mystica]

That's been a question I been wondering about myself all the time. You always seem to recognise the ones that inspire change but I can never really pin-point what it is exactly that makes them to such inspirational examples. And it doesn't always have to be big things either. Sometimes the smaller things have the most impact.

 

For instance, just yesterday I saw a news feature on tv where this American elderly lady spent years waving at passing students on their way to or from school. Such a small thing to do and yet last valentine she was celebrated by hundreds of students for bringing a smile to their lips every day with a simple wave.

[Panchi]

I think a lot of it is ripple effect. Someone does a small thing but ripples of it spread all around increasing in size

[Ryrin]

I think that in many situations, it takes a great deal of courage for one person to stand up.

[Torrie]

Among other things, I see passion as one of the biggest qualities in most people who make change. If you don't have passion for the cause, then it will fall by the wayside and eventually be forgotten.

 

I also think support is a big issue. There is always someone fighting on the front line of these causes, but the people in the back, the silent supporters who do not get recognition are very important. While one person can do it alone, it is extremely difficult without people in the background organizing, picking up slack, and holding up the spokesperson.

[Elgee]

Among other things, I see passion as one of the biggest qualities in most people who make change. If you don't have passion for the cause, then it will fall by the wayside and eventually be forgotten.

 

I also think support is a big issue. There is always someone fighting on the front line of these causes, but the people in the back, the silent supporters who do not get recognition are very important. While one person can do it alone, it is extremely difficult without people in the background organizing, picking up slack, and holding up the spokesperson.

 

That is a very good point! As others have mentioned, it takes courage and passion to make any change, but a lot of that is in the form of inspiring the people who do the "background" work, too.

[Panchi]

A lot of those who inspire a change usually have an incident which makes them notice the need to bring about a change and fills them with a passion and motivation to change something.

[Torrie]

Good point, Panchi! In my experience, unfortunately, the incident is a negative one. Something bad happens, people see the need for change, then take action to make that change happen. It is unfortunate that people cannot see the need before the bad happens.

 

How do you think we can change this mindset?

[Moon Sedai]

The way they deal with adversity and conflict may help show the how. 

 

Instead of throwing up their hands and yelling "This is stupid, I'm outta here," the people who inspire change say "Screw it, I'm fixing it." because they see a problem and work to repair it. 

[Torrie]

I couldn't agree more, Moon! It's really hard to find someone who looks for the solution rather than just looking for the problem.

 

Any thoughts on how we can help ourselves look for solutions more often?

[Panchi]

Here are some quotes related to this

 

"When people throw stones at you, turn them into milestones."

 

"Change what you can't live with."

This is from tGH I think

 

A change in attitude from I-try to I-will can help. I-try implies not putting full effort, not doing everything but I-will is doing everything to achieve the goal.

[Ryrin]

Sometimes I get stuck just being mad about things. I'm trying to be more thoughtful and choose constructive actions instead.

[Gudrean]

I believe making changes in the world starts with making changes in ourselves first.

 

Having said that i am still struggling with the changing me part.

 

I have so many ideas of change for the world and i want so badly to help others heal, but yet i am having a hard go at healing myself. 

 

I think when enough is enough i make changes and that first step, brought on by frustration with a situation is what generates the movement.

[blank]

So this thing has been happening in my real life this week. A friend of mine has come across hardship within her work and she is acting positively in a way to change this. Here we go!

 

My friend, we'll call her G, works as a PhD student within a University. She works in a large lab including other PhD students, post docs, professors and undergraduates. On Monday she hears one of the Master students shouting and crying in another lab and a bunch of her colleges go into to see what's wrong and the student was crying and shouting at another PhD student saying that he had come onto her and touched her inappropriately on the leg, she asked him to stop and he just moved further up and touched her on her butt etc. It then came out this wasn't the first time that this had happened to her with his guy.

 

My friend G was outraged and helped calm her down but insisted that she reported this to the person in charge of the lab, if not to only punish the guy who did it but to prevent it happening to others. The girl reported it to the guy that runs the lab and he told her "that she only had a week left working in his lab and it wasn't worth making a fuss, especially since it was her word against the other guys."

 

It then came out, after hearing what had happened to this girl, that this had happened to another two girls in the building, he came onto them, they told him to stop and he just continued being more sexual. He also pleaded that they "never tell anyone." The people who were victimised were unsure what to do about this because they didn't want to just be dismissed again. But G kept pushing, so they went straight to the Head of the Institute. The guy who did this has now been moved to a separate office away from everyone and will be under investigation.

 

Also G is determined to tell someone about her boss's horrible reaction to something like this happening in her lab. He pulled her aside on the Tuesday and actually uttered the words "I just don't think she knows what is going to do to his career, this will destroy it. And besides, he comes from a different culture from ours and the kind of thing that you ladies talk about...well he could have got the wrong idea." G is disgusted by this and is organising that someone be told so he can be monitored for this type of thing in the future.

 

I think that she is purely motivated to stop this happening to anyone again because of these people and I am so glad that the people who are closest to me are the type of people who will stand up and say something.

 

tl:dr My friend is awesome. Sexism and assault is still prevalent and disgusting.

[Torrie]

Oh Blank, this is a horrible situation! Not only because of the assault itself, but also because of the victim blaming going on.

 

And something I want to point out, which I think most people do not realize. This happens to men as well as women. Not as often, but it still happens, and I am sure it is reported even less when it is a man, than when it is a woman.

 

 

So following this line of thought:

1) how can we help stop assaults?

2) how can we help stop victim blaming?

[blank]

Oh absolutely! And I know my friend would have behaved the same way even if the genders of all parties were reversed.

 

She's awesome like that

[Ryrin]

Thank you for sharing this blank. Your friend is courageous for standing up and supporting others to do so as well. There are people who don't believe this is still happening in modern countries.

 

Who cares what happens to his career and this boss needs some remedial education regarding employment law and sexual harassment and assault.

[Mystica]

that is absolutely discusting blank and good on your friend for not 'taking it'. I also work at a university with PhD's, post-docs, professors and the like. I would be livid if I heard of anything like that happening and that 'boss-jerk' wouldn't know what hit him.

 

We need to keep speaking out against it when we witness anything of the sort no matter how much peer pressure there may be to 'go with the flow'. Not too long ago a young son of a friend of mine, he's just started his first year in university, posted something on facebook regarding a string of rapes that had been happening to female students in our city. In response to someone else he posted 'you'll never get raped. You're not pretty enough'. This, seemingly innocent remark unwittingly enforces one of the many stereotypes and missconceptions of rape.

1. Rape isn't about beauty, it's about power.
2. Rape isn't the victim's fault because she happens to be conform the current rules of beauty.

3. Rape isn't about the taste of the rapist on which girls are attractive and which are not.

 

This guy is a pretty popular dude and he has lots of 'cool' friends. But I stood in his face and the rest of them and told them what's what. None of them argued. See, none of them intended to be rude or even to jokingly re-inforce the validity of raping girls. Quite the opposit. They were actually saying how they would love to get their hands on the rapist. They were all standing up to defend the girls.
And yet..... evenso...... without realising it, by that one short jest..... They empowered the stereotype and the missconceptions, they laid the blame for rape with the victim and they made the action of chosing a girl about the rapist's taste or lack there of in the 'beauty' of the girl, not the criminialisation of his action.

 

Once they were made aware of it they fell silent, awkwardly silent. You could tell, even on fb, that they were shocked because it simply had never occurred to them.


So our job is to not just defend the victims of offenses but also to continue to eliminate ignorance. Even amongst those with the best intentions.

[Mystica]

I just found this very interesting video on TED.com and it touches on exactly the question of this topic:

 

How great leaders inpsire action