"How Feminism Hurts Men"

[Ryrin]

http://saynotoviolence.org/issue/facts-and-figures

 

 

Sexual Harassment

 

Between 40 and 50 per cent of women in European Union countries experience unwanted sexual advancements, physical contact or other forms of sexual harassment at their workplace.

 

 

Femicide ─ the murder of women because they are women

• In the United States, one-third of women murdered each year are killed by intimate partners.
• In South Africa, a woman is killed every 6 hours by an intimate partner.
• In India, 22 women were killed each day in dowry-related murders in 2007.
• In Guatemala, two women are murdered, on average, each day.

 

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs239/en/

 

 

Violence against women.

 

• Violence against women - particularly intimate partner violence and sexual violence against women - are major public health problems and violations of women's human rights.
• Recent global prevalence figures indicate that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.
• On average, 30% of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical or sexual violence by their partner.
• Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by an intimate partner.
• Violence can result in physical, mental, sexual, reproductive health and other health problems, and may increase vulnerability to HIV.

[MattheHat]

... This is just plainly sick...

Honestly, what has the world come to...

[Ryrin]

It is, Mat.

 

I think the extent of it is hard to fathom until looking a little more deeply in a worldwide context. You inspired me to do that, thank you.

 

Some progress is being made, (as noted by Mish) along with efforts to combat this type of discrimination and abuse. I hope to present some of that info next week.

[Elgee]

... This is just plainly sick...

Honestly, what has the world come to...

 

It's much better now than it used to be :)

 

When I started working (in the 1980's), I:

• couldn't open any kind of credit account (like at a clothing store) without the written consent of my father or husband;
• wasn't eligible for housing subsidy at work
• had to put up with my boss (a preacher) showing me (and the other female employees) pornographic photos
• couldn't publish my work under my own name - had to do so under the name of my boss (male)

Those are just a few examples off the top of my head.

[Sunrise Lord]

 

... This is just plainly sick...

Honestly, what has the world come to...

 

It's much better now than it used to be :)

 

When I started working (in the 1980's), I:

• couldn't open any kind of credit account (like at a clothing store) without the written consent of my father or husband;
• wasn't eligible for housing subsidy at work
• had to put up with my boss (a preacher) showing me (and the other female employees) pornographic photos
• couldn't publish my work under my own name - had to do so under the name of my boss (male)

Those are just a few examples off the top of my head.

 

What?!  Did that sorry SOB get punished?

 

 

 

 

And I somewhat agree with Nica about the Southern thing, though it can be applied to the world at large too.  The men who are in their middle years (or 40s-50s and older) grew up with a male figure as the authority in the house, and to them, that is natural.  The younger generations (their children and grandchildren) don't see things this way.  It's going to take time--generations in fact, since the generations who believe in male-dominant ways are still alive.  Things won't change very much until the world's population is made up of people born in times where it's all right for women to have prominent roles, in the workplace and at home.

[Ryrin]

It's bad enough to have happened at all but a clergyman.  

[Elgee]

 

 

... This is just plainly sick...

Honestly, what has the world come to...

 

It's much better now than it used to be :)

 

When I started working (in the 1980's), I:

• couldn't open any kind of credit account (like at a clothing store) without the written consent of my father or husband;
• wasn't eligible for housing subsidy at work
• had to put up with my boss (a preacher) showing me (and the other female employees) pornographic photos
• couldn't publish my work under my own name - had to do so under the name of my boss (male)

Those are just a few examples off the top of my head.

 

What?!  Did that sorry SOB get punished?

 

 

No - he was both a male AND a clergyman, so he could do whatever he wanted. The one girl who kicked up too much of a fuss about it, got fired.

[Ryrin]

Ugh. That is so awful.

[Brandie]

When I was 16 (2002), I worked for a check cashing company owned by a family friend. He was in his early 70s. I worked in a little booth that was about 5' square in the back of a liquor store (which my employer also owned and ran with his son). At first I loved the job, I only had to work for 3 hours after school and it gave me some extra spending money so I could go tanning and get my nails done and things like that. After working there for a few weeks, my boss started coming around more and sitting in the booth with me playing solitaire on the computer. It was innocent enough at first but eventually the light hearted chit chat started to turn to subjects that made me uncomfortable and he started being more physical. He would come in and hug me and put his hand up the back of my shirt, smell my hair, comment on my outfits (usually calling me sexy). All these things I shrugged off at the time as him just being a little overly friendly, I was only 16 and he was in his 70s after all so the idea of it being any more than that was unfathomable for me. I finally left when one day I spilled some chocolate milk on my shirt and he offered to lick it off. I was so freaked out and disgusted that I quit the next day. He tried to apologize and get me to come back, when I refused he called me an uptight prudish b*tch and promised that I wouldn't be able to work in his town again. He was true to his word, no matter where I went and put in applications I would never get a call back or anything. I finally got a job in a neighboring town. That was the worst instance of harassment at a job I'd ever gotten but I've experienced it in every single job I've ever had.

[Ryrin]

That's horrible Brandy.

 

When I was young, I took my car to this shop to get it fixed. The mechanic was way older than I and he kept wanting to take the car for a "test drive." He would try to kiss me, hold my hand and move his hands in other places. I was shocked and found another shop.

[michellem]

LG, I'm so sad to hear you having to go through that.

 

And I hope these stories are an eye-opener to anyone, men or women, who don't think that there is no need for feminism anymore.

[Elgee]

Brandie, it's shocking that a paedophile (and that is definitely what that bastard was!) could get away with something like that. And someone who's living depends on treating you properly, Ry.

 

It just goes to show that we women instinctively try to "smooth things over" or anything other than confront the bastards head on and making a big, public fuss about it. Why? Because there are STILL people (both male and female!) who tell you that you're "over-reacting" or "no I know that person he's definitely not sexist you're misunderstanding him" ... bullshit! If you are made in any way uncomfortable, it's not YOUR fault - it's HIS fault!

 

Grrr ... /rant.

[WWWwombat]

ok

cos from what has been discussed so far i noticed only USA has been included really... im not pretending to be a big traveller but ive been around a bit (except the US), and about 95% of the girls/women i know have a passionate hate against Maths or anything techy lol. a quick search in wikipedia will bring many sites that would contradict this fact but if you look a bit it all seems to come out as studies from the US... I repeat that I dont know anything about the situation in North America but I can quite safely say that the OP does not include the european countries such as Norway, German, Spain etc

 

 

Tbh, I think most people in general hate math.  You'll probably find more women expressing that opinion though as it's part of the typical Western academic gender role or whatever nonsense is behind it.  I wish it weren't.  Even if you love math like I do, it's not fun to be in a 90% male math or physics class.  It's depressing.

[michellem]

I feel like this is related enough to the subject to post here:

 

 

It made me happy to se a sign like this in a public place, it's something that alot of people don't take seriously enough, there are women who abuse men in a relationship and very few men actually realize the severity or dare to talk about it.

[Ryrin]

I think women are taught to smooth things over even if we do it unconsciously.  I was really shocked when that happened to me and wondered if part of it was myself or was I reading him wrong etc.  I still don't like to think of it.  He was an older guy and married.

[Wren of the Brown]

I feel like this is related enough to the subject to post here:

 

 

It made me happy to se a sign like this in a public place, it's something that alot of people don't take seriously enough, there are women who abuse men in a relationship and very few men actually realize the severity or dare to talk about it.

 

Thank you.

[Senexx]

Whilst the glass ceiling is shattering, the pervert presumption endures.
 

[Elgee]

We can't send our kids to play in the streets, because some people drive like maniacs.

We can't leave our houses standing open, because some people are burglars.

We can't leave our handbags unattended in our shopping trolleys, because some people are thieves.

Women can't walk feel safe in many places, because some men are rapists.

We can't let just anyone look after our children, because some grown-ups are paedophiles.

 

That's life.

[Ryrin]

Unfortunately Senexx, statistically most offenders are male. This does not exclude females from molesting children because that does happen but the majority are male.

 

http://www.co.whatcom.wa.us/sheriff/sexoffenders/pedophile.jsp

 

"Through numerous case studies, the Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile. They are as follows:

• Is most often an adult male."

http://www.doc.state.mn.us/level3/pdf/characteristics%20and%20behavioral%20indicators%20of%20adults%20who%20molest%20children.pdf

The incestuous or intrafamilial molester is usually an adult male (father, stepfather, grand- father or live-in boyfriend of the mother);

 

http://www.sor.state.co.us/?SOR=home.youshouldknow

Less than 10% of sexual assaults are committed by women (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 2006).

Most sex offenders (80-95%) assault people they know. (Greenfield, 1997; Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1997 and 2000).

 

Important to note:

"The primary responsibility for any sexual assault rests with the offender and not the victim. Unfortunately, you can take all reasonable measures to reduce your risk and still be assaulted."

[Senexx]

So people are allowed to be prejudiced against males because of that?

[michellem]

I gotta say I'm on Senexx' side here. Just because most rapes are done by men, doesn't mean all men are rapists, or should be stamped as potential rapists.

 

I didn't know it was such a problem in the US with men being regarded as that article says, Senexx. I haven't seen that here at all. But, and I hope no Americans take offense at this it's the sad truth that you guys live in an extremely paranoid society, where everyone is a potentional enemy. I think that makes views like that blossom more strongly. We live more in a "trust until proved otherwise"-type society, so I think that's why those views aren't as normal here.

[Sunrise Lord]

I love kids a lot, and I play with them like I was one (because that's what any respectable person does), but I'm certainly not a pedophile. 

 

 

 

Our government has made so many enemies with it's so-called "big brothering" (that's most likely an understatement) that we can't help but live in paranoia.  That's my take on it, anyways.

[Ryrin]

No, Sennex, not "prejudiced" but cautious and aware.  

 

There are no "sides" to this, just facts.  I've provided facts that these types of crimes are overwhelmingly committed by one segment of our society (not exclusively.) That does not equate to overlooking potential female perpetrators.

 

IMO, to ignore facts and throw caution and awareness to the wind because of a perceived need of fairness or a desire not to be "paranoid" can expose children to people who would victimize them.

 

My son is in Boy Scouts.  To protect everyone, boys and adults, the scouts have what is called "two deep leadership."  Two leaders must always be present with the boys.  Two adult males are fine.  These regulations were put in place because pedophiles are attracted to organizations that serve children.

 

http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/HealthandSafety/GSS/gss01.aspx

 

Two registered adult leaders, or one registered leader and a parent of a participating Scout or other adult, one of whom must be 21 years of age or older, are required for all trips and outings.

 

One-on-one contact between adults and Scouts prohibited. 

 

Appropriate adult leadership must be present for all overnight Scouting activities; coed overnight activities—even those including parent and child—require male and female adult leaders, both of whom must be 21 years of age or older, and one of whom must be a registered member of the BSA.

 

 

These rules were not put in place "just because."  They were put in place because children were victimized.  

 

I'm not trying to be harsh to anyone here.  I interact with all of you on a daily basis and I enjoy your company and friendship.  

[Sunrise Lord]

Not against you, Ry, just voicing opinion.  Yes, the facts say that most perps are male, but that doesn't negate the other fact that not all males who interact with children are bad guys.  I'm sure you didn't mean to imply that, just posting statistics.

 

 

It's a fine line the difference between parnoia and being cautious, one that is blurred often.

[Rekinu Alasayaar]

I gotta say I'm on Senexx' side here. Just because most rapes are done by men, doesn't mean all men are rapists, or should be stamped as potential rapists.

 

I didn't know it was such a problem in the US with men being regarded as that article says, Senexx. I haven't seen that here at all. But, and I hope no Americans take offense at this it's the sad truth that you guys live in an extremely paranoid society, where everyone is a potentional enemy. I think that makes views like that blossom more strongly. We live more in a "trust until proved otherwise"-type society, so I think that's why those views aren't as normal here.

 

 

I feel there is enough discrimination against males too.

 

My sisters did LOTS of babysitting when they were in HS, I could never get anyone that used them to call me back and let me babysit.  Only one person (i was friends with their son, so I assume they trusted me after 8 years) let my baby sit their kids, and I did dishes and vacuumed as well, so it wasnt becuase i was a lazy babysitter, lol.

 

I have had MANY times where i stopped to offer help to someone pulled over on the side of the road, and left after only a few minutes (not helping) because the person (always female, of different ages) was obviously VERY uncomfortable and refused any help (tires, bottled water, ect.).

 

I still stop, to offer help, but MUCH less than half the time am i allowed to help.

 

 

I think that in the act of NOT discriminating against one group, we inadvertently discriminate against another if we are not careful.  For example, it is MUCH harder for a White Male to get into some collages, (and the number of scholarships are less) due to their drive to "diversify" so a Native American descendant will get preference over a white male to increase their diversification, and thus federal financial aid (where they get it)

 

I am NOT saying we need to stop talking about how women are objectified (which i feel is partly due to the proliferation of movies, especially the porn industry).  Women DEFINITELY have a tougher situation, especially if they are 'pretty'.  No male should ever 'grope' a female.  If you are intimate with them then it shouldn't be a grope, if you are NOT intimate, DON'T TOUCH.  Hands off buddy.  "Sexual Predators" should be more heavily punished.  I think we as a society have cheapened intimacy to such a state that it is considered 'ok' to objectify the 'female' body as not a person.  Personally (and I am married, sorry ladies) it is the mind of the person that makes said person 'hot'.  I am not saying i wouldn't look at a girl and be unable to say if she was cute or not, but my Significant Other needs to be someone that i can carry on intelligent conversation with (and my wife does very well until I start going into details of stuff at work, lol)

 

 

Hope i stayed on topic there, kinda.  Lol.