For Your Health

[Naked~Frog]

It has come to my attention that I have a severely contagious disease. I am actually so incredibly disgusting that my germs travel across the internet like email viruses and affect everyone who attempts to communicate with me virtually. I am sorry for the inconvenience but I really can’t help it. It isn’t easy to be hygienic, naked, and covered in mucus all at the same time. I know it is risky for me to post this, if you are reading this thread than you have just become infected with my filth… But I had to post it… You know? Because maybe I already got some of you sick… and maybe you need to know what is wrong…

I am covered in warts as a result of my sickness. They are large, green, and putrid. If you touch them they will pop and leak mucus all over you. They are so incredibly large and disgusting that you can no longer wear clothes once fully infected… and if you do you will just look lumpy beneath the clothing. All you can do is get a haircut, dye your hair a new color and wear tons of makeup. I even changed my name. At first I was hopping… sorry… hoping that I could pull off the look but as time went on I realized that people were having a harder and harder time recognizing me for who I was beneath my terrible disfigurement.

This illness is so intense that you will lose everything you love and care about. I’ve changed my name… and no one will hire me so I just dance around in costumes that are big enough to cover my terrible skin problem.

Luckily auto tune covers my croaking voice… But even with it I still sound terrible and my fans are buying my work out of pity of my terrible disorder.

I don’t even make money off my work… it all goes into my medication. It costs billions but sometimes I can keep the filthy warts down enough to look almost human, although it has a strange side effect in my cheek bones…

Please, you guys are my friends. You need to stay safe and get yourselves checked at the doctor’s office. You don’t want to end up like me… I’m like some kind of mother croaking monster.

I’m really sorry for the inconvenience guys… But I can’t help it. Frogs are disgusting and disgusting things give people disgusting illnesses..

You will need to use hand sanitizer on your keyboard any time you check Dragonmount. Thick goggles will be needed to shield your eyes, tinted if possible to conceal my nudity… And if you ever some across a “Little Monster” this is code for Frog. You should avoid frogs at all costs, we are even more infectious and dangerous in person. You would, in fact, be best suited in exterminating us from the earth completely. Slaughtering us like zombies before we can infect you all.

If you have already contracted this illness, you need to listen to quality music because our little frog ears can’t take it, which is why I cannot use this cure.

 

Your Friend,

Lady Gaga

(AKA Disgusting Froggy)

[Moon Sedai]

Ha!

 

Wait ...

Do I have to disinfect my brain???

 

[LilyElizabeth]

Thanks for the warning, Froggy.

[LedZepMan]

Im screwed

[Nynaeve]

You always were. It just took you this long to figure it out.

 

 

 

Nyn

[dapianoplay3r]

There are worse ways to die

[Nynaeve]

True that....

 

 

 

Nyn

[Leelou]

You gave us all big, green warts? Is this covered by Shayol Ghul health insurance?

[randomh3r0]

You gave us all big, green warts? Is this covered by Shayol Ghul health insurance?

I have a feeling the paperwork would be atrocious.

[LedZepMan]

Ruh ro raggy!!

[Moon Sedai]

seriously how about of is my brain because we've been bonded for a while it must be full of warts

ribbit

[Starrik]

I'm scared, I can't see these warts, but I know they must be under this fur!

>.>

<.<

*Checks fur*

ARRRRRRGH!

[dapianoplay3r]

Thats your nipple starrik

the other thing is a wart

[Naked~Frog]

I'm sorry guys, but this is what happens when you play with frogs. Toads give you small warts and frogs cover you in mucus leaking kermits and turn you into a Ga-Ga.

[Starrik]

Thats your nipple starrik

the other thing is a wart

Oh.

*Checks again*

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Moon Sedai]

That is why I've been randomly singing in French and making jerky-style dancing movements while hopping along.

 

*evil glare at Froggy*

[Naked~Frog]

I'm sorry Moony!!! Let's just hope you guys don't enter into stage two of the disease and turn into muppets!

[Moon Sedai]

*stabs froggy *

[Reyoru]