Xamol's Fool Proof Guide To Being Awesome!

[Xamol Na]

So, here's a new thing I'm going to do. Basically, here comes a list of how to be a decent human being in certain situations. We'll start with an easy one:

 

How To Be A Customer

 

 

• 'SALES ASSISTANT' IS NOT SLANG FOR 'SLAVE'! Yes, we are here to help but we are NOT at work to bow to your every whim. I don't care if you're thirsty, I'm a Sales Assistant, not a Barrista. I'm not getting you water from the tap, buy it! Along the same lines, I'm not about to be carrying your shopping from the previous shops you've been in.
  
• A 'SALES ASSISTANT' IS NOT THE SAME JOB AS 'CHILDMINDER'! Keep control of your own children! I'm not paid to follow your kids around and stop them from hurting themselves. It's not my fault that you're looking at the shoes, ignoring your child and, as a result of that, s/he falls down the stairs.
  
• LEARN TO READ! The sign on chairs saying "Don't Stand On The Chairs" isn't a challenge, it means stand on the chairs and one of us will come and turf you off them. Likewise with the sign on the electrical room; "No Entry, Danger Of Death" means keep out of there you crazy weirdo!
  
• DON'T ENTER "STAFF ONLY" AREAS! Seriously, if you go in the electrics room or come out the backshop, you're looking at being kicked out with a lifetime ban.
  
• DON'T GO BEHIND THE TILL! There's a REASON a counter splits you from the Cashier. Again, this is not a challenge, this is a no-go area! You want to look at something behind there? Ask a member of staff.
  
• HAVE SOME MANNERS! They don't cost anything.
  
• DON'T TAKE YOUR BAD DAY OUT ON US! Seriously, we're not here to bear the brunt of your awful day. I don't really care if your daughter splashed water on your current shirt and I certainly don't want to be yelled at for it.
  
• WE CAN ONLY DO WHAT WE CAN! It's not our fault if you want to return something and have brought it back broken; tough, you can't have it refunded. Did we break it? No. Are we going to give you money back because you jumped into a lake wearing your MP3 player? No. We may laugh when you've gone though.
  
• WE ARE NOT TARGET PRACTICE! Don't throw things at us or shove us into things and expect to be kept in the store. Do this and you're likely to have our manager showing you to the door.
  
• PUT THINGS BACK WHERE YOU GOT THEM! It's really not THAT hard to put something back on a shelf, is it? Do you really NEED to put a left shoe at one end of the shop and the right shoe somewhere else?
  
• LEARN HOW TO QUEUE! Yes, it's boring but, if all tills are occupied, TOUGH! You're going to have to wait. If I see someone push in a queue, I'll kick them to the back of the line anyway.
  
• HAVE SOME RESPECT! You want to be treated with respect? Guess what, so do we! I don't care if you're a Doctor, when you're in my shop you'll treat me with respect or be prepared to be treated with sarcasm.
  
• THE CUSTOMER IS RARELY RIGHT! Learn this. come to me and say "The customer is always right" and I'll make you PROOVE yourself right!
  

All for now.

Next up:

How To Be A Sales Assistant!

Feel free to suggest some for me to do =)

[ruairidh7]

Haha I enjoyed that. Ranting is always loads of fun

[Xamol Na]

I'm glad you liked it! I could've been so much longer XD I'm really looking forward to doing it's counter part haha

 

After "How To Be A Sales Assistant" I think I'm going to do "How To Walk Down The Street" XD

[Kudaran Dragon Blooded]

XD that was good.

 

Especially looking forwards to "How to Walk Down the Street". Make sure you include WHAT'S WRONG WITH WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK, YOU BLOODY GOAT-KISSING TROLLOCS?!?!!??!?!?!??!??!?

[Netbattler11]

Hahahahahaha. Thats pretty good.

[Songstress]

Hear hear! I work in customer service at a mail order pharmacy, and it astounds me the stupid things customers want to blame us for.

[Netbattler11]

Aye, I do try not to be a pain when i'm shopping... Mostly because I'm sure i'll end up on the other side of the counter sometime and have to deal with it.

[Turin Turambar]

Karma is a funny thing.

[Smiley73]

I like dis

[ruairidh7]

XD that was good.

 

Especially looking forwards to "How to Walk Down the Street". Make sure you include WHAT'S WRONG WITH WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK, YOU BLOODY GOAT-KISSING TROLLOCS?!?!!??!?!?!??!??!?

 

This is so true, especially in good weather. The sun seems to make people think they can behave like lemmings and walk down the middle of the road

[Ithillian Turambar]

I deal with complaints all day. My whole job is investigating and resolving complaints. It always amuses me when people think being horrible will make me want to help them more.

 

My favourite thing to do it to speak more and more quietly, the louder they get. Eventually they realise they have to shush or they won't be able to hear what I am saying.

 

Of course, actually being able to fix things that have gone wrong is a bonus. There is nothing worse than being expected to deal with a complaint and not being given the tools or independence to put it right.

 

 

Perhaps you could do one about driving also. I would be able to add lots to that as I am a total pirate when I drive.

 

Grrrrrr @ old people who wear hats and drive at 50 mph in the middle lane of the motorway!!! And such like.

 

 

[ruairidh7]

Me too Ithi, I get a bit road ragey sometimes

[Gabriel Kross]

50mph is fast for old people Ithi! they will have heart attacks if they go faster!

[Ithillian Turambar]

So they can drive in the inside lane. The other lanes are for overtaking.

[Gabriel Kross]

It's still fast...

 

*kicks dirt sulkingly*

[Gabriel Kross]

the grammar nazi's beat me over the head and told me the word I was looking for was sullenly...

[Xamol Na]

I can't drive so I can't do driving XD.

 

Customer's may have a "Part 2" at some point. I missed out old people, moving when you see a worker carrying something, not putting your hand where a sales assistant is moving a shelf and more haha XD

[Xamol Na]

So, here's a new thing I'm going to do. Basically, here comes a list of how to be a decent human being in certain situations. We'll start with an easy one:

 

How To Be A Customer

 

• 'SALES ASSISTANT' IS NOT SLANG FOR 'SLAVE'! Yes, we are here to help but we are NOT at work to bow to your every whim. I don't care if you're thirsty, I'm a Sales Assistant, not a Barrista. I'm not getting you water from the tap, buy it! Along the same lines, I'm not about to be carrying your shopping from the previous shops you've been in.
  
• A 'SALES ASSISTANT' IS NOT THE SAME JOB AS 'CHILDMINDER'! Keep control of your own children! I'm not paid to follow your kids around and stop them from hurting themselves. It's not my fault that you're looking at the shoes, ignoring your child and, as a result of that, s/he falls down the stairs.
  
• LEARN TO READ! The sign on chairs saying "Don't Stand On The Chairs" isn't a challenge, it means stand on the chairs and one of us will come and turf you off them. Likewise with the sign on the electrical room; "No Entry, Danger Of Death" means keep out of there you crazy weirdo!
  
• DON'T ENTER "STAFF ONLY" AREAS! Seriously, if you go in the electrics room or come out the backshop, you're looking at being kicked out with a lifetime ban.
  
• DON'T GO BEHIND THE TILL! There's a REASON a counter splits you from the Cashier. Again, this is not a challenge, this is a no-go area! You want to look at something behind there? Ask a member of staff.
  
• HAVE SOME MANNERS! They don't cost anything.
  
• DON'T TAKE YOUR BAD DAY OUT ON US! Seriously, we're not here to bear the brunt of your awful day. I don't really care if your daughter splashed water on your current shirt and I certainly don't want to be yelled at for it.
  
• WE CAN ONLY DO WHAT WE CAN! It's not our fault if you want to return something and have brought it back broken; tough, you can't have it refunded. Did we break it? No. Are we going to give you money back because you jumped into a lake wearing your MP3 player? No. We may laugh when you've gone though.
  
• WE ARE NOT TARGET PRACTICE! Don't throw things at us or shove us into things and expect to be kept in the store. Do this and you're likely to have our manager showing you to the door.
  
• PUT THINGS BACK WHERE YOU GOT THEM! It's really not THAT hard to put something back on a shelf, is it? Do you really NEED to put a left shoe at one end of the shop and the right shoe somewhere else?
  
• LEARN HOW TO QUEUE! Yes, it's boring but, if all tills are occupied, TOUGH! You're going to have to wait. If I see someone push in a queue, I'll kick them to the back of the line anyway.
  
• HAVE SOME RESPECT! You want to be treated with respect? Guess what, so do we! I don't care if you're a Doctor, when you're in my shop you'll treat me with respect or be prepared to be treated with sarcasm.
  
• THE CUSTOMER IS RARELY RIGHT! Learn this. come to me and say "The customer is always right" and I'll make you PROOVE yourself right!
  

All for now.

 

Next up:

 

How To Be A Sales Assistant!

 

Feel free to suggest some for me to do =)

I can't drive so I can't do driving XD.

 

Customer's may have a "Part 2" at some point. I missed out old people, moving when you see a worker carrying something, not putting your hand where a sales assistant is moving a shelf and more haha XD

 

 

So, i'm back, with....

 

How To Be A Customer Pt. 2

• MOVE OUT THE WAY! So, you see a Sales Assistant struggling along with a large box? Why is your first instinct to stand right where they want to be and sigh loudly when they ask politely for you to move? Likewise when someone is turning around holding a shelf. Move or get clobbered by a large sheet of metal. On the same note;
  
• MIND WHEN YOU TOUCH THINGS! So, I'm changing a whole shelving unit. Why, oh why, is this the time you choose to grab something. Sales Assistants are strong by nature but we're not statues. The idea of us lifting a shelf is that is going somewhere and your hand is coming with it if you don't shift!
  
• DON'T PLAY IN THE DISABLED LIFT! We have stairs, rather than a ramp, in our stores therefore we have a lift for prams, heavy stock and disabled people. It's not for anyone else to just use as they please. Or it will break. With you inside it. And we will laugh.
  
• DON'T PLAY WITH THE GOODS LIFT! There's a huge clue in the name of this lift as to what it's for. Yes, it's for moving heavy stock out of the storeroom and down to the shop floor. It is also dangerous. I don't care just how much you want that juice bottle; you can't have it until it's been safely unloaded!
  
• KEEP YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF BOTH LIFTS! I've got much better things to do than chase them around!
  
• THE FIRE ALARM IS FOR ALL! When the fire alarm goes, we're not kicking people out for the fun of it (well, sometimes we are) but to save your lives, so hop it! What's more important? The shoes you want to buy or your life? If the shoes are more important, good luck finding someone to serve you. Put them back and leave with the rest of us.
  
• DO NOT TRY TO PULL TAGS OFF SHOES! As amusing as it is to watch people trying to yank tags apart (it can't be done with ours haha) it is annoying and you'll only damage the stock. The tags are on for a reason; to stop thievery. Either ask for us to remove them so you can try the shoes on or just walk away. Manage to pull them off and we will assume you're out to steal them.
  
• WE'RE WATCHING YOU! We're really not stupid, you know! We can and will (and have) catch you if you try to steal. Whilst I have that in mind;
  
• A LIFETIME BAN IS A LIFETIME BAN! Does what it says on the tin, you know.
  
• LEAVE THE TANNOY ALONE! Only our voices may boom across the shop!
  
• LEAVE THE PHONE ALONE! We have three connected phones scattered around the entire place; one of US will answer it, NOT you! If I've not picked it up it's because I'm busy and there are 8 other people who'd get there first! Kind of linked thought;
  
• IF I'M ORDERING OVER THE PHONE FOR YOU, DON'T SNATCH THE PHONE OFF ME!
  
• HOME DELIVERY COMES WITH HOME DELIVERY CHARGES. No two ways about it! And this is done by a branch of the company, not store staff!
  
• IF I TOUCH THE TILL BUT DON'T SERVE, I'M BUSY! If I'm already helping a customer, I'm not going to randomly leave them to help you. Wait your turn!
  
• AGE DOES NOT = WISDOM OR SUPERIORITY. You may be old, but that doesn't mean you're any better than I am. Treat me with the respect you want.
  
• DON'T HARASS ME IN THE STREET! Seriously, on my day off (or when I'm going home from work) I will be of NO HELP WHAT-SO-EVER to you! If I'm not being paid, I'm not working! Don't see me in Co-Op and expect me to come into my shop with you to help you find something. I have better things to do!
  

Think that's about everything on Customers...so far XD

 

Coming up next: How To Be A Sales Assistant =)

[RandA lThor]

Love this, my cousin used to work for Fry's and I know what you mean.

[Xamol Na]

Don't get me wrong though, some people are lovely. It just amazes me the things people don't think we notice. Or people forget we have cameras. And mirrors.

 

I'm quite looking forward to doing "How To Walk Down A Street!" Also planning/making notes on:

• How To Wait For And Travel On A Bus
  
• How To Play Video Games With Others
  

Any anyone else thinks would be a good idea? =)

[Netbattler11]

In the videogames one, maybe specifically mmos? I am constantly surprised at how many people decide that skill is an excuse to be a complete douchebag.

[Xamol Na]

In the videogames one, maybe specifically mmos? I am constantly surprised at how many people decide that skill is an excuse to be a complete douchebag.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of CoD and Halo =)

[Netbattler11]

Do an Playing Online one too then. Just because you're anonymous doesn't mean you have to be uncivil.

[Songstress]

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

[Xamol Na]

Do an Playing Online one too then. Just because you're anonymous doesn't mean you have to be uncivil.

 

This is what I'm going for but said it wrong =)

 

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

 

Yes! Awesome!