Xamol's Fool Proof Guide To Being Awesome!

[RandA lThor]

In the videogames one, maybe specifically mmos? I am constantly surprised at how many people decide that skill is an excuse to be a complete douchebag.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of CoD and Halo =)

 

Halo!

 

How about a simple one, how to eat properly.

[Xamol Na]

In the videogames one, maybe specifically mmos? I am constantly surprised at how many people decide that skill is an excuse to be a complete douchebag.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of CoD and Halo =)

 

Halo!

 

How about a simple one, how to eat properly.

 

In Public XD

 

so many fantastic ideas! You guys are the best!

[Nyanna al'Meara]

Hahahahaaa this is great XD

[Smiley73]

How to play video games with others - that's gonna be a long list

[Smiley73]

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

 

this comes up constantly at house meetings: "okes, if you can't piss without messing everywhere then treat yourself to a sit-down on the toilets."

[ruairidh7]

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

 

this comes up constantly at house meetings: "okes, if you can't piss without messing everywhere then treat yourself to a sit-down on the toilets."

 

Real men sit down to pee anyway

[ruairidh7]

I am looking forward to the video games one

[Smiley73]

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

 

this comes up constantly at house meetings: "okes, if you can't piss without messing everywhere then treat yourself to a sit-down on the toilets."

 

Real men sit down to pee anyway

 

:shock:

 

There is another!

[Songstress]

*covers ears* LA LA LA

 

I don't think I reallllllly want to know how many guys around here sit down to pee, thanks.

[ruairidh7]

for the record, I don't really although it is an interesting idea...

[Basel Gill]

Don't get me wrong though, some people are lovely. It just amazes me the things people don't think we notice. Or people forget we have cameras. And mirrors.

 

I'm quite looking forward to doing "How To Walk Down A Street!" Also planning/making notes on:

• How To Wait For And Travel On A Bus
  
• How To Play Video Games With Others
  

Any anyone else thinks would be a good idea? =)

 

The Restaurant version of How To Be A Customer. I will start this off because I can't stand waiting in line behind people who can't follow these rules.

• READ THE MENU BEFORE YOU ORDER ANYTHING! You will not be able to get tacos in a Pizza Hut, or roast beef sandwiches at a Burger King. If something is not on a menu, then a restaurant likely does not have it. If an item only has one price listed, that means it doesn't come in different sizes. This is why restaurants have a menu in the first place, so that customers will know what they carry.
  
• Do not ask for Coke if an establishment has a Pepsi sign in big letters prominently placed for all to see. This just announces to everyone around you, both employees and other customers, that you are unobservant and cannot read what is right in front of your face.
  
• If you have a coupon, read it before you try to use it. This allows you to know what the deal offered entails, and whether you have to buy anything to get the deal. (There is a local hot dog chain that has coupons in the newspaper regularly offering 2 hot dogs for the price of 1 if you buy a drink. Many people try to get the deal without buying a drink.)
  
• Do not argue with employees when they tell you that a place doesn't carry something, or that the coupon doesn't work how you think it works. They work there, some of them for several years. This should mean they have a better idea than you of such things.
  

 

If anyone else has anything to add here, by all means include it.

[RandA lThor]

When a waiter asks you if you are ready, MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE READY. Don't say yeah we are ready and then sit there talking about what you will have for the next 10 minutes.

[Xamol Na]

I am looking forward to the video games one

 

This will be in several parts. Until then...time to REVERSE "How To Be A Customer" completely and show my side of the story...

 

How to Be A Sales Assistant

• SMILE! Yes, people are irritating and their child just smashed a cup! Who cares? Just SMILE! The idea is to have the customers coming back!
  
• KNOW WHAT YOU SELL! If you work in departments and you're on the shoes (like me =P) KNOW what you've got, what heel they have etc. etc. If you've done more than one department, the knowledge doesn't stop at a switch from shoes to beauty. you knew it a month ago, you should know it now!
  
• IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, GET SOMEONE TO HELP! But listen to their answer! I know nothing about the steam mops, but Darren sells them and he know everything about them so, when a customer asks my advice on them, I ask Darren but I stay and listen to what Darren has to say. Why? So I'll know for next time!
  
• ASK FOR THE SPECIAL OFFERS! Yes, I know it's a pain but ABV must be done! (ABV= Added Basket Value) It doesn't take long to ask someone if they want a Bag For Life! Just do it!
  
• EVEN IF YOU'RE BUSY, HELP ON THE TILL! Yes, you may have five boxes of clothes to put out still, but Lauren has a queue going the length of the shop. Just help out! Your title isn't "Shelf Stacker" or "Box Lifter" it's "Sales Assistant" so start ASSISTING in the SALES!
  
• ANSWER COMPLAINTS NICELY! No sarcasm, no eye-rolling, no folded arms. Be pleasant and understanding even if you don't care.
  
• HAVE FUN! I love my job, even if I am just a Sales Assistant. I love the people I work with and I have a good laugh with customers.
  
• KEEP BOTH EYES OPEN! As it were. No matter how busy you are, you really, REALLY need to develop a sense for what's going on around you. Otherwise, it's your own fault if grumpy woman with the double pram runs you over.
  
• CHECK THE BACKSTOCK! It's no good just going "We haven't got it!" So, you haven't got it displayed? Go look in your stockroom, lazy git!
  
• FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES! You can't stand on the chairs or go in the death cupboard either!
  
• DON'T EAT ON THE SHOPFLOOR! I don't want to see you eating, let alone the customers. We have a staffroom and allocated breaktimes! Use them!
  
• DON'T LEAVE THE TILL UN-MANNED! If you're on the till, STAY THERE! It's not hard is it? Most people already spend hours of their lives on a computer, what's so hard about doing the same with the one you're being PAID to use?
  
• HAVE SOME MANNERS! I've been served by Sales Assistants who're worse than my customers!
  
• DON'T BRING YOUR BAD DAY IN WITH YOU! To be frank, I don't care to be dragged down with you. Out of work, I'll listen to you anytime, at work I'm just trying to get through the pile of boxes I've got. I don't want to join you in contemplating a jump from the roof!
  
• DON'T TALK TO OTHER SALES ASSISTANTS WHEN YOU'RE ON THE TILL! See the queue of customers? Talk to them instead! They hand over money!
  
• DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN THERE'S A QUEUE! Someone else will get it! Are you expecting a call? Yes!? Then why are you even on the till instead of waiting in the office?
  
• WE'RE ALL EQUAL! If I'm wearing a "Sales Assistant" badge and you've got one too then that means you're NOT my boss after all! You want me to do what you think's best? Nah! I've got my own work to do. Got a problem? Go have Claire (manager) laugh at you.
  
• GO THE OTHER WAY! so, you're carrying a heavy box and someone's blocking your path? So what!? Ask them POLITELY to move (i.e. "Excuse me please, Sir/Madam") or go down a different route. It's a shop, not a corridor!
  
• GET USED TO LIFTING THINGS! So, you small and weedy and have never worked a day in your life??? Haha! You're what me and Darren call "fun" =P When we started, we couldn't lift things either, now we can probably lift you. Special thought here, if you can't lift, DON'T DO DELIVERY!
  
• NO EXCUSES! No "I'm not feeling very well!" or "I've hurt this/that/the other!" You've declared yourself well enough to come in to work, now earn your pay! I'm already earning mine, I'm not doing your work unless I'm getting your money!
  
• DON'T ROLL IN DRUNK! Just because some customers do this, doesn't mean you can! Join them in the gutter, if you must, NOT in the changing rooms!
  
• RESPECT THE SUPERVISORS! Yeah, so you and Darren applied for Supervisor and Darren got the job? So what!? So you're 45 and Darren's 20? So what!? Darren got the job for a reason (he's better at the job) so show him the respect he deserves! Or answer to the managers!
  
• RESPECT PEOPLE'S SECTIONS! Do I come and throw your stuff around? No! You'll find that I treat your stock with respect so don't mess MY shoes around! It's MY section, check with ME before changing it around or answer to ME when I'm next in!
  
• DON'T SHOUT NONSENSE OVER THE TANNOY! The tannoy is for specific announcements and them ONLY!
  
• LEARN TO TALK TO PEOPLE! Yes, this is a major skill. You may hate a certain customer with the whole of your being and you're free to feel that way, just make sure they don't know it!
  

I could go on for hours with this one...but I'll resist!

 

And you thought I have problems with customers XD

[RandA lThor]

Haha, you usually have more problems with your own job because you know it so well.

[Xamol Na]

I'm back! Whoooo!

 

So, I'm still not feeling very well but I'll try to be enertaining XD

 

How To Walk Down The Street

• WALK ON THE PAVEMENT/SIDEWALK/PATH! Cars hurt when they hit you! I don't advise standing in the way of one!
  
• PAY ATTENTION WHEN CROSSING THE ROADS! It's no-one's fault but your own if you're stupid enough to text whilst crossing a road!
  
• BIKE PATH IS FOR BIKES! Are you a bike? No? Are you riding a bike? No? Then get off the bike path before the bells start ringing at you!
  
• PEOPLE PATHS ARE FOR PEOPLE! You can walk here!
  
• DON'T GATHER IN STUPID PLACES! Because it's rude, annoying and I'm not about to walk through the road just because there's more of you. I'mma coming straight through the middle of you!
  
• DON'T SUDDENLY STOP! Or, if you must, slow down first! If you suddenly freeze in place, there's a high chance I'll walk into you. Don't shout at me for it! It's not my fault you stopped stupidly!
  
• DON'T WEAVE AROUND! Walk in a straight line!
  
• DON'T SUDDENLY BURST OUT OF A SHOP AND WALK INTO ME! Watch where you're going! I'm not going to find it funny that you can't be bothered to look out of the shop before you bodyslam me!
  
• DON'T RAM INTO MY HEELS! Say "Excuse me?" before shoving your wheelchair up my rear!
  
• DON'T WALK RIGHT NEXT TO OR BEHIND ME! Especially if you're a stranger! No-one has business being right up in my face! It's called my personal space, now give it back!
  
• IF I'M WEARING HEADPHONES, I'M NOT INTERESTED! Generally, this is how it goes: No headphones; you may speak to me. One headphone; you may speak to me if I know and like you. Two headphones; I don't know you, I don't want to know you and, frankly, my music is more interesting!
  
• KEEP HOLD OF YOUR KIDS! I don't need them running through my legs! You don't need me standing on them! I'm sure there's a middle ground here?
  
• YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WALKING HERE! So don't skip around waving your shopping!
  

There will probably be more to this soon =)

 

Another thing coming up:

 

Stupid Things You Should Never Say!

[Xamol Na]

Just had an inspired thought on another to do. may bump it forward due to the Euros. "How To Watch Football!"

 

And I WON'T be calling it Soccer!

[hazelkrs1]

I'm thinking rules for using public restrooms would be good.

 

this comes up constantly at house meetings: "okes, if you can't piss without messing everywhere then treat yourself to a sit-down on the toilets."

 

Real men sit down to pee anyway

 

 

IF I'M WEARING HEADPHONES, I'M NOT INTERESTED! Generally, this is how it goes: No headphones; you may speak to me. One headphone; you may speak to me if I know and like you. Two headphones; I don't know you, I don't want to know you and, frankly, my music is more interesting!

 

THIS

[RandA lThor]

Just had an inspired thought on another to do. may bump it forward due to the Euros. "How To Watch Football!"

 

And I WON'T be calling it Soccer!

 

 

aww, but that's how all of us Americans call it.

[Smiley73]

Just had an inspired thought on another to do. may bump it forward due to the Euros. "How To Watch Football!"

 

And I WON'T be calling it Soccer!

 

 

aww, but that's how all of us Americans call it.

 

I'm sorry to inform you that the world does not revolve around you, that superfluous vowels are awesome and that it's aluminium not aluminum, they are taps not faucets and hand-egg is a more accurate name for what you call "football".

 

</rant>

[RandA lThor]

you forgot the opening tag :)

[Smiley73]

you forgot the opening tag :)

 

sssshhhh, that was implied, I just think that pseudo-HTML is a nice way to end a line of thought

[ruairidh7]

Just had an inspired thought on another to do. may bump it forward due to the Euros. "How To Watch Football!"

 

And I WON'T be calling it Soccer!

 

 

aww, but that's how all of us Americans call it.

 

I'm sorry to inform you that the world does not revolve around you, that superfluous vowels are awesome and that it's aluminium not aluminum, they are taps not faucets and hand-egg is a more accurate name for what you call "football".

 

</rant>

 

Smiley dropping the truth bombs

[Smiley73]

Just had an inspired thought on another to do. may bump it forward due to the Euros. "How To Watch Football!"

 

And I WON'T be calling it Soccer!

 

 

aww, but that's how all of us Americans call it.

 

I'm sorry to inform you that the world does not revolve around you, that superfluous vowels are awesome and that it's aluminium not aluminum, they are taps not faucets and hand-egg is a more accurate name for what you call "football".

 

</rant>

 

Smiley dropping the truth bombs

 

#unleash

[Xamol Na]

Also, it's maths and NOT math =P

[Songstress]

The world does so revolve around me!

 

*American and proud of it*