I HAVE ARRIVED

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

and some monkey bars

 

 

 

 

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

 

a new husqvarna, cause you can never have too many

[Krakalakachkn]

 

 

I bring you Joffrey in chains and full access to the SG dungeons!

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

 

a spice rub, to prepare the chkn.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

 

and a dragon, cause dragons are cool. and will not perish in the heat.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

 

and, because dragon travel is not always practical, please enjoy the smoothly evil ride of this lovely bentley.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

 

please accept my feeble apologies for drying up the seas; i hope i have successfully rehydrated them.

 

i fervently hope that you may enjoy this beach, sans nasty bright sun.

[dapianoplay3r]

 

and a new site to waste hours on

http://crazythingsparentssay.failblog.org/

 

here is a small taste oh darkest one

(My 4 year old daughter was refusing to eat her food)

Me: Ella, if you don't eat your food, I am selling you to Vegans!

My Daughter: What's a Vegan?

Me: Someone who only eats vegetables.. with NO cheese!

My Daughter: NO! I promise Ill eat my food, PLEASE Don't sell me to Vegans Mommy!

 

Dad: I hit a squirrel on the way home.

Mom: Oh no.

Dad: Yeah, it almost got away but I swerved to the oncoming lane and got it.

 

(Drinking with my dad for the first time.)

Dad: *Unintelligible muttering.*

Me: Dad, you're drunk.

Dad: I am not drunk and i'll prove it!

Me: How?

Dad: The drunk test, that's how.

Me: Okay

Dad: How pretty is that skinny woman with the red afro over there?

Me: Dad, that's a stop sign.

 

(I was trying to convince my mom to let me stay over at my friends so we could leave for the beach faster.)

Me: Mom, I really don't know how to word this…

Mom: YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT.

Me: O.o

Mom: I WILL KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND.

 

(At a restaurant, a song begins to play.)

Mom: Who sings this song? She has a really nice voice!

Me: … Justin Bieber.

Mom: *listens for another few seconds* This whole "naming girls with boy names" thing has gotten way out of hand.

[Amadine]

 

a license for your minkey

 

 

 

AAWWWW SEE NOW THAT'S CUTE 5 POINTS

 

 

and some monkey bars

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MMMMMM TASTY 2 POINTS, HOWEVER THE MONKEY BARS ARE FAR TOO PRIMITIVE FOR MY FAVOURITE MONKEY - HE DESERVES MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.

 

 

 

a new husqvarna, cause you can never have too many

 

 

 

NOW I THINK YOU ARE JUST WHORING FOR POINTS CINDY DEAR... I HAVE A HUSBAND - WHAT NEED WOULD I HAVE FOR A HUSQVARNA? AND THE HUBBY HAS A COUPLE ALREADY 0 POINTS

 

 

 

 

I bring you Joffrey in chains and full access to the SG dungeons!

 

 

JOFFREY? JOFFREY? WHO THE F%$# IS JOFFREY? BUT CHAINS I LIKE, 5 POINTS

 

 

 

a spice rub, to prepare the chkn.

 

 

 

MORE RANDOMS?

 

 

 

and a dragon, cause dragons are cool. and will not perish in the heat.

 

 

SEE NOW MUCH BETTER THOUGHT OUT 5 POINTS.

 

 

 

and, because dragon travel is not always practical, please enjoy the smoothly evil ride of this lovely bentley.

 

 

 

NOT A HUGE FAN OF BENTLEY'S ACTUALLY - I THINK THE FRONT END IS BOXY AND UGLY, CHECK OUT HSV GTO ;) 2 POINTS COZ I AM A CAR GIRL AFTER ALL

 

 

 

please accept my feeble apologies for drying up the seas; i hope i have successfully rehydrated them.

 

i fervently hope that you may enjoy this beach, sans nasty bright sun.

 

 

 

BETTER, 2 POINTS, BUT BE WARNED, ANY FURTHER GIFTS MUST BE OF EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY TO QUALIFY FOR MORE POINTS. THE N'B THREADS HAVE DEGENERATED INTO POORLY THOUGHT OUT RANDOM PICTURE THREADS. I SUGGEST YOU ALL GO BACK AND READ THREADS FROM LAST YEAR.

 

 

 

and a new site to waste hours on

http://crazythingspa...y.failblog.org/

 

here is a small taste oh darkest one

(My 4 year old daughter was refusing to eat her food)

Me: Ella, if you don't eat your food, I am selling you to Vegans!

My Daughter: What's a Vegan?

Me: Someone who only eats vegetables.. with NO cheese!

My Daughter: NO! I promise Ill eat my food, PLEASE Don't sell me to Vegans Mommy!

 

Dad: I hit a squirrel on the way home.

Mom: Oh no.

Dad: Yeah, it almost got away but I swerved to the oncoming lane and got it.

 

(Drinking with my dad for the first time.)

Dad: *Unintelligible muttering.*

Me: Dad, you're drunk.

Dad: I am not drunk and i'll prove it!

Me: How?

Dad: The drunk test, that's how.

Me: Okay

Dad: How pretty is that skinny woman with the red afro over there?

Me: Dad, that's a stop sign.

 

(I was trying to convince my mom to let me stay over at my friends so we could leave for the beach faster.)

Me: Mom, I really don't know how to word this…

Mom: YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT.

Me: O.o

Mom: I WILL KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND.

 

(At a restaurant, a song begins to play.)

Mom: Who sings this song? She has a really nice voice!

Me: … Justin Bieber.

Mom: *listens for another few seconds* This whole "naming girls with boy names" thing has gotten way out of hand.

 

3 POINTS FOR THE JAZZ HANDS - AND ANOTHER 3 FOR THE VEGANS

 

 

ED: 0

CINDY: 28

ECLIPSE: 5

MOON: 20

CZECHS: 10

KRAK: 7

VAMBRAM: 6

PLAYER: 30

[Moon Sedai]

Oh Nae'Blis, instead of posting pictures and showing you awesome gifts to bring you, I will loan you the use of my two precious Darkhounds. (err...mini schnauzers).

 

They make excellent guardians, scaring off their foes with their shrill and frightening howls.

 

They are fierce warriors, who have each killed foul rodent insurgents (uh... mice) battled a mighty dragon(fly) and even conquered godzilla (a chameleon).

 

They have the skills to track any food dropped on the floor, are excellent dishwashers, and will even give you a mani/pedi.facial if you let them.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

i give you the gift of complete submission, and the knowledge that i wished to please you just to please you, though i did so poorly.

 

please take back the points you have most graciously bestowed upon me.

 

you have my fealty, which is not bought, unworthy though it is.

 

my deepest apologies. i understand if you have to torture, maim, and/or kill me now.

[eclipse0]

I must agree, oh wise 'Blis, that the banality of the groveling and gift giving in these threads is repulsive. It has been lack-luster at best compared to the days of yore, filled with detailed descriptions of gruesome acts committed in your name. Not to mention the time and effort your followers used to put into creating custom personalized gifts to display just for you. I am ashamed that the unimaginative tendencies of the Shadowspawn has spread like a disease to the greater factions. Someone should have prevented it, I blame Pandy. It was obviously someones responsibility to carry on the torch of true torture and undying devotion to the Nae'blis. Who better to blame than the one who the torch was first passed to at that point? Yes, he should have prevented this from happening and he must be punished. I will personally take it upon my self to make sure the Panda will endure such pain that he unfortunately won't live long enough to never forget. Hopefully the rest of your loyal minions will take notice and learn from this demonstration on how to truly please you, Your Darkness.

 

One must remember in dealing with failures like this sorry excuse for a bear, the question is not, "How long do they have to live?". The question must be, "How slowly are they going to die?". There is a subtle difference in the denotation of the two sentences, but when considering the connotation implied, the difference is enough to move mountains. Now the first rule when teaching a lesson to a furry animal such as a Pandy, is to restrain them at first using only duct tape, not rope. Duct tape is strong and versatile and will do the job of a good strong rope. The benefit is of course, is the result when removing the duct tape to freshen the bonds. Once the subject has been stripped completely of fur by the tape, then one may decide to use rope, as rope burns could then affect the exposed skin. Isn't that right, Pandy? *Eclipse pulls the tape from Pandy's mouth* *Pandy lets out a sound which seems like a combination of screaming and sobbing* Well, that's not very pleasant to listen to now is it? *Eclipse replaces the tape over Pandy's mouth*

 

The second most important thing to remember is that physical torture, while it can be fun, only accomplishes little by the way of lessons of discipline. The real lesson is always learned through psychological pain. How do we accomplish psychological torture? Well, this one is more difficult to explain, but I can provide you with an example of one here today. Causing physical pain isn't and end unto itself, but merely a means to get to the root of the matter. *Eclipse lifts and stretches open one of Pandy's eyelids* Now in this instance I want to make sure the subject can not look away from what it is about to see. *Staples Pandy's eyelid to his own forehead* The best way to do such a thing I've found is a few well placed staples. You'll also want to make sure that the subject cannot turn their head. A large vice is perfect for this. It won't cause bleeding, just enough pain applied to the temples to discourage the subject from attempting to move.

 

Yes you have a question there in the back? Excellent, question, I'm glad you ask! Why would you want to prevent bleeding? The reason being is that you wouldn't want to allow the subject to have any means of control over ending it themselves. If you leave them a way to bleed themselves out, then your lesson will not have the chance to be taught in full. That reminds me, one thing you need to ensure is that the subject cannot try to bite their own tongue off. I find the best things that work in this case are either Hax's dirty socks or Barmy's dirty undies. Since it is summer time there isn't much sock wearing going on, so this time we'll have to go with the undies. *Pulls the tape off one more time and sticks a yellowish brown stained cloth into Pansy's mouth*

 

Ah my time is running short due to other obligations to fulfill your dastardly plots, my dearest Blis. For now I must leave this subject to the beginning of its first stage of torture. At this time, you may want to put on the safety headsets provided under your chairs to block the audio portion. *Eclipse dims the lights and pulls back a curtain to reveal a large projection screen.* *He then flicks another switch and the film "Hanna Montana meets the Jonas Brothers" begins.* This is set to repeat and will continue to do so until the lamp burns out in the projector, which won't be for about 3000 hours. Now you have time to continue your nefarious other responsibility while able to rest assured that the torture is continued at a high quality until you can return for the next phase.

 

*bows to the great Nae'blis and exits slowly from the stage*

[Roka]

I would give that last post max points. I only bothered to read the first paragraph to be sure (after that, it reminded me of the RP side windings and I got bored instantly), but I'm sure the rest was top quality to the end *nods*. In fact! Give my points (which of course are also the max you can give +1 cus it's me) to eclipse *nods*

[eclipse0]

Oh Great Dark Mistress, at great personal risk, I have summoned you the most wicked being ever to walk these lands.

 

I would give that last post max points. I only bothered to read the first paragraph to be sure (after that, it reminded me of the RP side windings and I got bored instantly), but I'm sure the rest was top quality to the end *nods*. In fact! Give my points (which of course are also the max you can give +1 cus it's me) to eclipse *nods*

 

The sarcasm of the Roka almost cost me my life as I gagged on my morning coffee.

[Roka]

She got spooked... or maybe is cus I didn't shower in over a month *ponders*

[Amadine]

Oh Nae'Blis, instead of posting pictures and showing you awesome gifts to bring you, I will loan you the use of my two precious Darkhounds. (err...mini schnauzers).

 

They make excellent guardians, scaring off their foes with their shrill and frightening howls.

 

They are fierce warriors, who have each killed foul rodent insurgents (uh... mice) battled a mighty dragon(fly) and even conquered godzilla (a chameleon).

 

They have the skills to track any food dropped on the floor, are excellent dishwashers, and will even give you a mani/pedi.facial if you let them.

 

THAT MADE ME LAUGH, 5 POINTS

 

 

i give you the gift of complete submission, and the knowledge that i wished to please you just to please you, though i did so poorly.

 

please take back the points you have most graciously bestowed upon me.

 

you have my fealty, which is not bought, unworthy though it is.

 

my deepest apologies. i understand if you have to torture, maim, and/or kill me now.

 

 

GREAT LORD! I SAID GROVEL NOT EMBARRASS YOURSELF. I AM NOT DISPLEASED JUST DISAPPOINTED WITH THE LACK OF IMAGINATION BEING SHOWN AS A WHOLE LATELY IN THE NAE'BLIS THREADS - I DID NOT MEAN TO SINGLE YOU OUT.HAVE 2 POINTS AND DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS TO ANYONE

 

I must agree, oh wise 'Blis, that the banality of the groveling and gift giving in these threads is repulsive. It has been lack-luster at best compared to the days of yore, filled with detailed descriptions of gruesome acts committed in your name. Not to mention the time and effort your followers used to put into creating custom personalized gifts to display just for you. I am ashamed that the unimaginative tendencies of the Shadowspawn has spread like a disease to the greater factions. Someone should have prevented it, I blame Pandy. It was obviously someones responsibility to carry on the torch of true torture and undying devotion to the Nae'blis. Who better to blame than the one who the torch was first passed to at that point? Yes, he should have prevented this from happening and he must be punished. I will personally take it upon my self to make sure the Panda will endure such pain that he unfortunately won't live long enough to never forget. Hopefully the rest of your loyal minions will take notice and learn from this demonstration on how to truly please you, Your Darkness.

 

THE NAE'BLIS LEANS FORWARD IN HER SEAT IN GREAT ANTICIPATION OF THE DEMONSTRATION, 5 POINTS

 

One must remember in dealing with failures like this sorry excuse for a bear, the question is not, "How long do they have to live?". The question must be, "How slowly are they going to die?". There is a subtle difference in the denotation of the two sentences, but when considering the connotation implied, the difference is enough to move mountains. Now the first rule when teaching a lesson to a furry animal such as a Pandy, is to restrain them at first using only duct tape, not rope. Duct tape is strong and versatile and will do the job of a good strong rope. The benefit is of course, is the result when removing the duct tape to freshen the bonds. Once the subject has been stripped completely of fur by the tape, then one may decide to use rope, as rope burns could then affect the exposed skin. Isn't that right, Pandy? *Eclipse pulls the tape from Pandy's mouth* *Pandy lets out a sound which seems like a combination of screaming and sobbing* Well, that's not very pleasant to listen to now is it? *Eclipse replaces the tape over Pandy's mouth*

 

SIGHS IN PURE ENJOYMENT OF THE SOUND THAT IS PANDY SCREAMING, 5 POINTS

 

The second most important thing to remember is that physical torture, while it can be fun, only accomplishes little by the way of lessons of discipline. The real lesson is always learned through psychological pain. How do we accomplish psychological torture? Well, this one is more difficult to explain, but I can provide you with an example of one here today. Causing physical pain isn't and end unto itself, but merely a means to get to the root of the matter. *Eclipse lifts and stretches open one of Pandy's eyelids* Now in this instance I want to make sure the subject can not look away from what it is about to see. *Staples Pandy's eyelid to his own forehead* The best way to do such a thing I've found is a few well placed staples. You'll also want to make sure that the subject cannot turn their head. A large vice is perfect for this. It won't cause bleeding, just enough pain applied to the temples to discourage the subject from attempting to move.

 

ARE YOU ALL WATCHING THIS??!!! STAPLES - INGENIOUS! 5 POINTS

 

Yes you have a question there in the back? Excellent, question, I'm glad you ask! Why would you want to prevent bleeding? The reason being is that you wouldn't want to allow the subject to have any means of control over ending it themselves. If you leave them a way to bleed themselves out, then your lesson will not have the chance to be taught in full. That reminds me, one thing you need to ensure is that the subject cannot try to bite their own tongue off. I find the best things that work in this case are either Hax's dirty socks or Barmy's dirty undies. Since it is summer time there isn't much sock wearing going on, so this time we'll have to go with the undies. *Pulls the tape off one more time and sticks a yellowish brown stained cloth into Pansy's mouth*

 

I PREFER TO LET THEM BLEED SLOWLY, THE PRECAUTIONS TAKEN AGAINST PANDY ENDING IT HIMSELF WHILE UNATTENDED ARE JUST GOOD COMMON SENSE. 5 PONTS

 

Ah my time is running short due to other obligations to fulfill your dastardly plots, my dearest Blis. For now I must leave this subject to the beginning of its first stage of torture. At this time, you may want to put on the safety headsets provided under your chairs to block the audio portion. *Eclipse dims the lights and pulls back a curtain to reveal a large projection screen.* *He then flicks another switch and the film "Hanna Montana meets the Jonas Brothers" begins.* This is set to repeat and will continue to do so until the lamp burns out in the projector, which won't be for about 3000 hours. Now you have time to continue your nefarious other responsibility while able to rest assured that the torture is continued at a high quality until you can return for the next phase.

 

*bows to the great Nae'blis and exits slowly from the stage*

 

 

OH GREAT LORD! YOU ARE EVIL *SHIVERS* I LIKE IT..... A LOT. 5 POINTS

 

I would give that last post max points. I only bothered to read the first paragraph to be sure (after that, it reminded me of the RP side windings and I got bored instantly), but I'm sure the rest was top quality to the end *nods*. In fact! Give my points (which of course are also the max you can give +1 cus it's me) to eclipse *nods*

 

*RAISES EYEBROW* AS I HAVE ALREADY DONE SO YOUR INSTRUCTIONS TO DO SO ARE MOOT. 5 POINTS SOLELY BECAUSE YOUR NAE'BLIS IS FEELING GENEROUS.

 

Oh Great Dark Mistress, at great personal risk, I have summoned you the most wicked being ever to walk these lands.

 

I would give that last post max points. I only bothered to read the first paragraph to be sure (after that, it reminded me of the RP side windings and I got bored instantly), but I'm sure the rest was top quality to the end *nods*. In fact! Give my points (which of course are also the max you can give +1 cus it's me) to eclipse *nods*

 

The sarcasm of the Roka almost cost me my life as I gagged on my morning coffee.

 

 

IF YOU WERE NOT ALREADY AT 30 POINTS I WOULD AWARD YOU WITH MORE FOR THIS.

 

She got spooked... or maybe is cus I didn't shower in over a month *ponders*

 

 

*ROLLEYES* WOULD TAKE MORE THAN YOU TO SPOOK ME ROKA

 

 

ED: 0

CINDY: 30

ECLIPSE: 30

MOON: 25

CZECHS: 10

KRAK: 7

VAMBRAM: 6

PLAYER: 30

ROKA: 5

 

[Roka]

ooh, newbies, what would this site do without them

 

why don't we have the Great Lord doing this anymore? Some specific rule or whatnot?

[Nynaeve]

It has been changed so the leader of the social group carries the title of the Dark One while the member with the most points gets the title of the Nae'blis.

 

 

 

Nyn

[eclipse0]

It makes more sense logically. The DO remains the same, but the Naeblis can change at any moment.

 

Roka is just bitter that things he put in place haven't stayed the same, lol

[Roka]

no, if anything, I'm surprised just how little has changed. Nothing revolutionary, not even close. I would have used DO for my own title if I didn't have it in my head Roka was higher then the GL *g*, besides, I wanted to give everyone a chance to be the GL - and it's far better to suck up to the GL then to Nae'blis, ah well :)

 

 

What about faction heads then? If Nae'blis is based on points?

[ed2funy]

I iz Moridin.

Lily is some long name in le Old Tongue.

 

Verby....smells.

[Roka]

Cuen'Shaidar... bleh. Like the webby, kinda sarcastic. And I can't believe you kept the linking system, that's one of the things should have been removed, bleh.

[ed2funy]

We don't use it, it's just still on le Wiki.

[Cainam]

Ohh great one i know you work so hard so i bring you these gifts

 

 

And for your favorite pet i also have a gift

 

and i seen you have been doing alot of stabbing lately and im sure your blade is in need of a break so i bring you some replacements.

 

And lastly i bring you an army of bloodthirsty pirates. because pirates are always fun.

[Amadine]

Ohh great one i know you work so hard so i bring you these gifts

 

 

AHHH VERY NICE - I DO LOVE A NICE MASSAGE - AND HOT STONE MASSAGE IS THE BOMB. IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD ONE YOU SHOULD GO HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW COZ I SAID SO. 5 POINTS

 

 

And for your favorite pet i also have a gift

 

 

SHAME THEY ARE CATS - I HATE CATS. BUT A CAT GETTING A MASSAGE IS A LITTLE AMUSING SO 2 POINTS.

 

and i seen you have been doing alot of stabbing lately and im sure your blade is in need of a break so i bring you some replacements.

 

OKAY NOW I AM IMPRESSED. AS MISTRESS OF DAGGERS I HAVE A FINE APPRECIATION FOR A NICE DAGGER. 5 POINTS FOR EACH PIC, EXCEPT THE LAST - THAT IS KWOM MASBAG'S DAGGER *NODS*

 

And lastly i bring you an army of bloodthirsty pirates. because pirates are always fun.

 

 

MMMM PIRATES, A GIRL LIKES HER SOME PIRATES. 5 POINTS.

 

 

 

 

ED: 0

CINDY: 30

ECLIPSE: 30

MOON: 25

CZECHS: 10

KRAK: 7

VAMBRAM: 6

PLAYER: 30

ROKA: 5

OTPELK: 27