DAES DAE'MAR - The White Tower & Warders Yard Newsletter - 2009

Elgee · December 24, 2009

Festive Season Edition: December 2009

Dear White Tower, Warders Yard and all other Dragonmount members, welcome to this first edition of Daes Dae'Mar, the WT&WY monthly Newsletter!

Here you shall find gossip, facts, straight out lies, interesting titbits, puzzles, interviews with members of DM, things that will make you gasp, and things that will make you fall off your chair laughing.

We have made a pretty, shiny site just for Daes Dae'Mar, and clicking on the links below each short section will lead you to the full article on there. However, for your easy reading, we will post each full section below as well.

Please sit back, relax, and enjoy ... DAES DAE'MAR! ;D

by MashinShin, Charis "Jr.", and Chiyuki

Who doesn't love gossip? Who done what, with whom, and when did they do it? We've got all the dirt at the Gossip Corner; we're even better than Perez Hilton! This month, we bring you the latest in bondings, staff torture, and we answer the question: "Which DM Staff member has a drug problem?"

Read all about it

HERE

by MashinShin, Charis Jr, and Chiyuki

Ahhh, youth. You surely remember what it was like being a new member at the WT. The giddiness, the spam, the new friends, the rampant flirting. Check out the Whispering Hole for the latest from the world of the Dormitories.

Read all about it

HERE

by Torrie Sedai

I have been called upon to examine and observe the mighty Disciplines in the area. There has been talk that these rough and tumble Warders and Warders-to-be have a soft side that shows through. At this point I am sceptical. Observation and interaction are required to determine if these creatures are tame or wild. I will put myself at risk and enter the Warders Guild to determine if the stories are true.

Read all about it

HERE

by Cairos

Welcome to the Voice!

In this month's column, Cairos lets us know the basics about the Ajahs of the White Tower Organization. He also uses a whip on the Narrator. Enjoy!

Read all about it

HERE

by Boopsy, Charis "Jr.", and Little Miss

[glow=red,2,300]TRAGEDY HAS OCCURRED!![/glow] Asmodean, the cute lil' harp player, who just HAPPENS to be a Forsaken, was found dead. DEAD! Such travesty! How did it happen? Who would want this sweet lil' man, who JUST happens to have tortured and killed many other innocents, dead?

Follow our two investigators, Charis Jr. and Little Miss, as they go around torturing interrogating interviewing the key suspects at DM. Every few months, we will feature a brand new mystery. Each issue, we will let you know of the next witness and you will get to submit a question, and the top 1 to 2 questions will be featured in the issue. And at the end of it, YOU will get to vote as to who committed the crime.

Read all about it

HERE

by Little Miss

Have you ever been reading along, catching up on all those threads you like to follow? Or reading all those posts from the crazy people who seem to live on DM? Then I can guarantee that you've come across that one post that just had you falling out of your chair from laughing so hard (also netting you the title of 'Random creepy giggler' at work). And while rolling around on the floor you can't help thinking, "they did NOT just say that!!"

Well here is the section where you'll find those funny moments of DM!

Read all about it

HERE

by Nynaeve

Nurit: Ladies and Gents, Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai’s lackies, Red heads with pointy sticks, Leaf sniffers, Wolf wannabes, Shadow poopies of any kind, bug people, freelanders (couldn’t think of a cute nick *L*), Children of the light (my ass!), Red prints, strange looking earring freaks and the respectable BTers... I hope you are ready for this fantastic display of our one and only, our beloved, DRAGON REBORN!!!

Read all about it

HERE

by Claireducky

Ever feel like you would love a chance to petition the Amyrlin in real life? Wanna know what to do about your cheatin' no-good boyfriend? Want to know the square root of 10,536,516? (Psst: It is 3,246) Well, now is your chance! In this issue, Mother Ducker tackles a difficult relationship question involving bovine love.

Read the first ever "Mother Ducker Says"

HERE

by Vanion

Sometimes in life, we seem to exhaust our supply of books, music and movies. This is a great shame, as these are things which most people find important. So, in an attempt to help you out of that rut you may find yourself in, this column is dedicated to Recommended Reading/Watching/Listening.

I will do my best to bring you great books, movies, TV shows and music for your personal enjoyment!

Read all about it

HERE

by Kara_J

Come play games with us! *g* Work your brain and have fun while you do it with this monthly feature.

Featured this month:

Wheel of Time Crossword! Test your skills on this crossword here:

http://www.zen107147.zen.co.uk/crossword1.html

Read all about it

HERE

Editor in Chief: Elgee

Editors: Wayward_Fool (aka Boopsy) and Claireducky

Writers: MashinShin, Charis "Jr.", Chiyuki, Torrie Sedai, Cairos, Boopsy, Little Miss, Nynaeve, Claireducky, Vanion & Kara_J

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by MashinShin, Charis "Jr.", and Chiyuki

Who doesn't love gossip? Who done what, with whom, and when did they do it? We've got all the dirt at the Gossip Corner; we're even better than Perez Hilton! If you have something you'd like to submit to the Gossip Corner, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org, with "Gossip Corner" in the subject. Now, on to this month's latest dish.

Around the WT

Mushy bondings were in the air around the WT recently! Several couples took the plunge, including Cairos and Mystica, Tynaal and Jadira, Aldazar and Mashira, MashinShin and Mirshann, Dah'mir and Tigara, Mother Ducker with both Elgee and Ladria, and Minuet and Bursius. The ceremonies were grand and a good time was had by all!

The Yellows and Blues combined forces to torture auction off the WT Staff. The bidding phase ended recently and now you can vote on what all the WT Staff members should be forced to do in the threads on the Great Hall.

Around DM

We've heard rumors that over in the RP, the White Tower and Black Tower Divisions are about to work out a deal and start bonding each other willy-nilly. This sounds like a lot of fun and we propose that we kidnap some BT Org members and bring them back here to bond. Mmmm. Insanity.

A new story we've heard is that the Keeper is trying to start up the WT Org Newsletter again. We can't imagine who would bother reading or even worse, writing for such a thing. ::) ;) ;D

The Seanchan Org recently had their long-standing leader, Emperor, step down due to his ongoing struggle with cocaine abuse and anorexia. They then raised a new leader, Zashara. She is already demanding to be called Empress and seems to be on as many drugs as Emperor was...so...congrats, Seanchan?

That's all the dirt we managed to dig up for this month's edition of Gossip Corner. Check us out next month for another slightly factual update!

Links to this month's bondings/raisings/promotions:

Dragonsworn1991 to LilyElizabeth - Souvra Bond: 06/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,49855.0.html

Dragonsworn and Tynaal Consen - Souvra Bond: 25/10/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,49333.0.html

Dragonsworn and mmeeshal - Souvra Bond: 25/08/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,47271.0.html

Tynaal Consen and Jadira Paerael - Souvra Bond: 22/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50685.0.html

Elgee and claireducky, claireducky and Ladria - Souvra Bonds: 29/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50944.0.html

Mystica and Cairos - Souvra Bond: 20/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50617.0.html

Mirshann Uuranor Souvra bonded MashinShin al'Mashiara (December 1, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,51062.0.html

Dah'mir and Tigara -Souvra Bond (November 29,2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50969.0.html

MashiraSedai bonded Aldazar Ashan as Warder - 27/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50900.0.html

Minuet bonded Bursius (december 17, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,51595.0.html

Mcs0083 to Manshima (November 20, 3009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50988.0.html

MashinShin al'Mashiara to Accepted (November 29,2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50971.0.html'>http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50971.0.html

Mirshann Uuranor (November 29, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50971.0.html

MashiraSedai to Aes Sedai: 23/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50700.0.html

Torrie to Aes Sedai: 24/11/2009 http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50752.0.html

Bursius to der'Manshima of Me'Arearth (December 12, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,51451.0.html

Ireond to der'Manshima (November24, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50794.0.html

Alanna to Aes Sedai (november 13, 2009) http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,50292.0.html

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by MashinShin, Charis Jr, and Chiyuki

It has been a busy couple of months in the Aspirant Dormitories, since the release of The Gathering Storm. There's been a ton of new arrivals, including charis sedai, roran bloodlust, mottlee (returning member), Onis OLeia, Makarra, Elliara, Lord of 13, Rednax, Feon Ceseth, Duncan, Jadelollipop, rubberneckin81, craftyreader, dapianoplay3r, Horus, Little Miss and AlJonin Bullmannen. They all found excellent Houses in the Dorms, and were appropriately *glomped* upon arrival.

The aspirants are also getting raised at an alarming rate, with Alanna to the Blue Ajah, Ireond to der'Manshima, Mashira to the Red Ajah, Torrie to the Red Ajah, mcs0083 to Manshima, MashinShin and Mirshann to Acccepted, and Bursius to der'Manshima. Congratulations to all of them!

The Kilaine Cup is nearing conclusion for this Term, with this month's activity being the last for the Term. December's activity: "Hide the Candy Cane" (sounds a bit naughty, doesn't it?). The objective is for aspirants to go around the boards hiding a particular candy cane graphic in their posts. Then the first aspirant to "steal" the candy cane (by quoting and replying to the post) gets points for their House. It has been a fun and great way to get the Aspies all over the Ajahs and Disciplines.

That brings us to the end of this month's Whispering Hole. If you have a suggestion or if you'd like to submit something to the Whispering Hole, please email it to daesdaemar@whitetower.org with "Whispering Hole" in the subject line. See you next month!

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Torrie Sedai

I have been called upon to examine and observe the mighty Disciplines in the area. There has been talk that these rough and tumble Warders and Warders-to-be have a soft side that shows through. At this point I am skeptical. Observation and interaction are required to determine if these creatures are tame or wild. I will put myself at risk and enter the Warders Guild to determine if the stories are true.

There seems to be three different packs in the Guilds. Hierarchy, I am sure, is determined in a way that is secret and we may not be able to find out this secret. I will start first in the Cuen’d’eren. I have learned that a Warder named Ireond is the head of this pack, also known as the Sword Commander.

As I diverge into the Cuen’d’eren common room there are students studying under the careful eye of fully trained Warders. It appears that the fighting style is a two handed one that requires full balance. As I watch, Ireond quickly dispatches 3 students that thought they could get the better of him. As he lectures the students on their ineffective moves he refers constantly to a motto: “Two hands are better than one.”

As I make my way around the common area I spy an area that is covered with Red Aes Sedai. Are they looking for men that can channel? Are they trying to bring this rowdy group under their firm hand of control? No! They are being served drinks and working on sword play. How interesting.

There is also a group of students that are discussing Aes Sedai handling. Hummmm. Seems as if the Aes Sedai need to catch up on their Warder handling. There is also a group of Novices and Algai who are huddling close together while being lead by an experienced Accepted. They look a little frightened by the sword play and brutishness of the men and women of the Cuen’d’eren.

Just as I am about to conclude my observations for the day, I see an explosion of purple sparkles followed by balloon throwing. Is this the proof that I need to show the soft side of the Warders?

Stay tuned as I investigate further into the Cuen’d’eren and the other Warder groups. We will find an answer.

If you have something to submit to Discipline Update, please email it to me at daesdaemar@whitetower.org with "Discipline Update" in the subject.

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Cairos

Welcome to the Voice!

Narrator: Today, we live in a world where Aes Sedai and Warders run about doing their own business. We have Aes Sedai from the seven different Ajahs and also bustling Novices and Accepted in the White Tower Halls. Today we are going to jump into the mind of Cairos Sedai, the new Gray Ajah Head. He recently became the new Head after Mendorah Sedai stepped down. Cairos Sedai, can you tell us something about the 7 different Ajahs that are in the White Tower, starting with yours?

Cairos: Sure Mr. Narrator. *Cairos chuckles to himself* The Gray Ajah is a small one. Despite that, it is very unique and different in many ways. The Gray Ajah has many interests, of which the major ones are cooking, gardening, various forms of crafting and volunteering. *Cairos puts on a Chef's hat* Many members come to the Grays in search of recipes or help with cooking. The Gray is also about community and helping out in any way we can. I can also make a mean chocolate chip cookie if you decide to stop by. *Cairos starts grinning*

Narrator: Thank you Cairos Sedai, for telling us what the Gray Ajah is about. Now, since you are bonded to a few people that are from other Ajahs, can you tell us what the other Ajahs are like and what they are about? Let's start with the Red Ajah, since you are bonded to a Red--a Red that became Keeper.

Cairos: No problem, Mr. Narrator. The Red Ajah is lovely and amazing, with a really mixed group of members. The head of the Red Ajah is Mystica Sedai. All the Reds give a mean snugglebiting to everybody. The Red Ajah is about individuality and equality. They are a strong-willed group. They can be serious at times, but they also can be a fun group to be around. Just be careful of their teeth. *To show the Narrator what he means, Cairos snugglebites the Narrator*

Narrator: *Enjoys the snugglebites* Thank you for telling us what the Red Ajah is about. What about the Yellow Ajah, since you have a brother who is one of their members?

Cairos: The Yellow Ajah has a wonderful Head leading them. Her name is Nynaeve Sedai. She is the high mighty yellow of all yellows. The Yellow Ajah is less focused on healing of the body, and more on healing of the mind and heart. They are welcoming to everybody in the White Tower, and they provide a fun and crazy atmosphere. They also have floor boards and are the only Ajah that spanks people with them. *Gets a hidden floor board and spanks the Narrator*

Narrator: *Is surprised by the spanking* Who else are you connected to? Let's see--you have a sister in the Blue Ajah. Tell us about the Blue Ajah.

Cairos: The Blue Ajah....Hmmmm.....What can I say about them? They are a great bunch. Did I mention there is this blue brother in the Ajah? His name is Boopsy aka Wayward Fool. He is sometimes crazy, but crazy in a good way. *Smiles* The Blue Ajah Head is Daruya Sedai. She is a wonderful lady with crazy blueberry muffins. They are deadly. The thing that the Blues love the most besides blueberry muffins is HARRY POTTER. *Cairos starts screaming like a little girl* YES ITS HARRY POTTER!!! Who doesn't like Harry Potter. *Cairos thinks he better not hear anybody say anything bad about Harry Potter*

Narrator: Sounds to me like they are a great bunch who are Harry Potter Fanatics. *Narrator gets hit by a bludger* Ouch. It seems I shouldn't have said that. Onwards.... Tell us about the Green Ajah, since you are bonded to a green.

Cairos: Hmmmmm....The Greens...The Battle Ajah...They are lead by a fierce and strong leader. Her name is (wait for it....wait for it...wait for it....) Kara J Sedai. The Green Ajah is another great bunch. They are a close knit group. They are an Ajah about family. All of them care a great deal about each other. They are fierce in what they believe in. *Whispers in the Narrator's ear* They are the wielders of the WHIPS. Yes, WHIPS!!! So you better be careful.*Cairos takes shiny green whip and whips the Narrator*

Narrator: Again I got hit by a weapon from an Ajah. *Starts to giggle* Let's talk about the Whites and the Browns.

Cairos: Well, the Whites and the Browns are small Ajahs too. They both also got new heads this fall. The White Ajah Head is Twinflower Sedai, and the Brown Ajah Head is Karana Sedai. The White Ajah is about logic and puzzles and the Brown Ajah is about knowledge and learning. What else can I say about them??? OH, YEAH!!! The Browns make wonderful delicious brownies. They are known for that. The Whites are known for their wonderful discussions.

Narrator: Cairos Sedai, thank you for spending time with me and with telling us about the different Ajahs in the White Tower. Stay tuned for the next article called “Living in the Ajah Houses.”

*Narrator takes all the special gifts and tries them out*

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Boopsy, Charis "Jr.", and Little Miss

[glow=red,2,300]TRAGEDY HAS OCCURRED!![/glow] Asmodean, the cute lil' harp player, who just HAPPENS to be a Forsaken, was found dead. DEAD! Such travesty! How did it happen? Who would want this sweet lil' man, who JUST happens to have tortured and killed many other innocents, dead?

Follow our two investigators, Charis Jr. and Little Miss, as they go around torturing interrogating interviewing the key suspects at DM. Every few months, we will feature a brand new mystery. Each issue, we will let you know of the next witness and you will get to submit a question, and the top 1 to 2 questions will be featured in the issue. And at the end of it, YOU will get to vote as to who committed the crime.

Needless to say, punishments will follow. Hands cuffed, feet tickled, much torturing and rejoicing all around. It will be a party! A CASEFILES party! So, let’s start this week with the 2 people who were closest to the scene of the crime. Our Keeper of the Chronicles and Editor in Chief, Elgee, and her right-hand man(A very dodgy job title, if you ask me) Boopsy Sedai(Also a very dodgy name, if you ask me)!

-------------------------------

Elgee's Holiday Interrogation:

Hello folks! *cue spot light, on occupied comfy chair* Crystal Lynn reporting here, to bring you the most informing, most exciting, and most action-packed peek into our esteemed and beloved Keeper's Holiday Social Life!

Knocking on the door to the Keeper's study I wait for an answer; after not receiving an answer I shrug and figure that I might as well let myself in and take a seat while waiting for her eventual return. Glancing around I notice two things immediately, one is the very large amount of red colored furnishings and the second being that the poor woman's desk was covered in mounds of paper work. Only seeing one chair in front of her desk and deciding that it looks extremely hard and uncomfortable, I pass it up in favor of pacing the otherwise homey office.

Walking past the desk, I know not to go through her paper work... but somehow I still manage to get a tiny glimpse of a paper with the words "whip, paddle, whipped cream, and rum" jotted on it...Going red faced I decided it's in my health's better interest to not stay by that side of the room. After a few more minutes, Elgee walks in and we sit down and have some tea before getting down….. to business that is.

Taking a sip of tea, I ask an age-old question,

Q. So Miss Elgee, Holiday Fruit Cake or Not to Holiday Fruit Cake?

Her prompt reply was:

A. I'm an all-year-round Fruit Cake.

Shuddering with disgust and internally cringing, I immediately ask the next question.

Q. If you could design one cheesy Christmas sweater, how would you describe it?

Deciding that as the Keeper, she was too good for the likes of 'cheesy' and was a sensible woman with 'tastes' (Like fruitcake -_-), she says:

A. I don't do cheesy ... lol

Sighing over the not-so-exciting answer, I decided to press the issue a little more.

Q. So just go with it for a moment and pretend that you had made one, kk? Who would you make wear the atrocity sweater?

She thinks for all of two seconds, before her superimposed horns stick out and replies:

A. Kara, for sure *grins evilly*

We both giggle till we're out of breath before getting back on track.

Q. So there are plenty of holiday traditions in the world, like decorating a Christmas tree, "The Santa Clause" and such; what holiday tradition do you feel you most resemble?

She eyes the top drawer of her desk (no doubt where the aforementioned rum is held) while pretending to think, and answers with a big grin:

A. Probably the hangover.

Ahhhh! Now it all makes sense...the whip...the rum... I mean... Anyways... Let's move to the final question shall we?

Q. All righty Elgee! This is the last question for the interview so really give it to us! What wintertime holiday do you celebrate, and what is the most important/fun/meaningful part?

Smiling and taking a moment to compose her last answer she replies:

A. I'm in the southern hemisphere - we don't really have holidays in winter. But I LOVE winter, so I think the whole of it should be a holiday *nods*. If you are referring to the Funny Season: we don't really celebrate, just get together as a family and stuff our faces.

"Stuffing our faces.” Spoken like a true woman who knows how to celebrate right! Never mind the rum! It's the food that’s the important part! ^^

As I walked over to the quarters of Boopsy Sedai, something smacked me RIGHT IN THE BRAIN. I had utterly forgotten to ask Elgee about Asmodean! Light, what a brain fart. It was the rum. IT WAS THE RUM. As I squatted in a corner clutching my head, and ignoring the looks of passing Novices, I mumbled the various curses against all alcohol in general. Then when I decided enough time had passed, I stood up and continued my skipping over to Boopsy's quaint little palace room, tra-la-laing as I went along. I was NOT disappointed to see the moat, tall towers rising to the sky and his gorgeous garden. These facts all announced one fact-- announced it as well as trumpet fanfares could as I approached.

I knew I had reached the Quarters of Boopsy Sedai.

----------------------------------------

Boopsy's Tell All Exclusive!

Well now! Fancy meeting you here! I thought you'd NEVER show up... So I guess you being here means that you want the down and dirty facts on the ever infamous and ever lovable Boopsy Kins right? Right?! *narrows eyes* -_- Great!

Now...let's get to why you came!

This was the day... the BIG day...the one where the horrific honest truth would come out on our dear Blue Aes Sedai.

I knew I had reached the quarters of Boopsy Sedai when I find it decked out in various hues of tastefully matching blues... although the dead giveaway way was the silk pillows strewn over the place...with the occasional fluffy one as well...Poking around a little, I find my victim interviewee sprawled on an overly large pile of cushions while some poor novice (who's name will not be mentioned for the sake of privacy) fanning him.

I coughed to announce myself, which sent the frightened little novice scurrying away while me and Boopsy Kins sat down over coffee and cookies.

Q. Good afternoon, Boopsy Sedai; thank you so much for humbling our newspaper with an exclusive tell-all. Now, let's begin. One of the most-asked questions about your most personal life and routine has to be, do your ears hang low?

Boopsy immediately sits up from his sprawl and vehemently replies:

A. Hang low? Like Mistletoe? ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF KISSING NOVICES AGAIN? I thought we got over that. I was not kissing you! I was... LIES, ALL LIES!

By the time he has finished, foam has gathered at the edges of his mouth and a wild look has entered his eyes... I decide that if I want to leave these quarters alive and not be stuck licking shoe polish for the rest of my immortal Novice life, that it would be a really good idea to move onto another subject. Poring over the noted questions, I find a fairly safe one to ask.

Q. SSssoooo... um... how about this one? If the WT could have one pet other than Bob? What would it be and why?

Switching gears quicker than I could blink, he immediately was bouncing up and down like a little puppy at the idea of this and answered:

A. I would love an ickle Novice as a pet to fetch my slippers, to feed my fish, to entertain me once in a while, to lick my- Whoa, sorry. Drifted away there. *misty eyed*

I fight to maintain my cool Aes Sedai mask of serenity as well as having to forcibly swallow down the bile that had risen in my throat. Glancing at my notepad again, I decide it's time to get to the tougher questions... and AWAY from anything that can even remotely involve Novices.....

Q. Tell me, oh wise and all-knowledgeable Boopsy-- Bela: Creator? Darkfriend, or just a Two Rivers pony?

Glancing sideways towards a large walk-in closet, that apparently has blue satin curtains instead of doors, he quickly says:

A. I’m going to go for Creator.

Yet my sharp reporter ears picked up quick muttered prayer of "hopes no one found my Bela shrine yet." Jotting this down as little tidbit as innocently as possible, I quickly change tactics and hit with curveball.

Q. Now that the Bela mystery is solved... What's your view on Asmodean's betrayal to the Forsaken? Cowardly? Brilliant?

Even though Boopsy eventually chose the Blue Ajah, the Brown Ajah has always been a second home to him, and as such, any prospect of something new or an interesting topic as intrigued him. He took his time and formed his answer:

A. Absolutely brilliant! Actually, I always wanted a harp playing pet. You think I could get him onboard?

I interrupt him at this point adding, "Boopsy Kins... He's dead. Gone. Vanished. Murdered."

A. He's dead? Sorry? When did THAT happen? I ummm... never knew.

Now, take note of the shifty eyes, people... and the supposed innocence here. Now why would one who LOVES knowledge NOT know that Asmo had been offed? Perhaps there is more going on than we all thought...

Q. Final question for the day...(for now) So... How do you do with the guilt?

Faking an obvious look of surprise at this question he stammers for a second and says:

A. Guilt? What guilt? I DID NOT KISS THE NOVICES DANG IT! *sulks* Oh, Asmodean again. What's with this chick anyway? How'd he die?

Yeah. Right. Likely story. Take a good look at that question, my lovelies. I was just asking about how he dealt with guilt in general... nothing to do with Asmodean... perhaps shock at finding out about his death? or Something else?

Stay tuned for more intrigue, interrogations, blackmail, and juicy details in the next issue of Daes Dae'mar! Our next subject of interview will be Jason (Dragonmount site owner and erstwhile Dragon Reborn). If you would like to submit a question for him, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org with the subject line "Casefiles". Be sure to include who your question is for!

Crystal Lynn - Signing off <3

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Little Miss

Have you ever been reading along, catching up on all those threads you like to follow? Or reading all those posts from the crazy people who seem to live on DM? Then I can guarantee that you've come across that one post that just had you falling out of your chair from laughing so hard (also netting you the title of 'Random creepy giggler' at work). And while rolling around on the floor you can't help thinking, "they did NOT just say that!!"

Well here is the section where you'll find those funny moments of DM!

Body parts DO tend to feel different compared to articles of clothing.

I would know.

Elgee, ma'am? Where would you like my hands?

This Chilli we speak of... your boots are the only place they licked to aquire this taste right for shoe polish right? :o

*pauses for silence*

You know.. like from the floor or something or other.. ;D

Van? You like to lick my warders? :-\

Bunny slippers? *eyes Verb and Dae*

*whispers*

But where do I stick my feet?

um.

p.s. I just realized how my description of my job sounded... and considering the only thing I said was nine hours in heels I feel the need to clarify that I am NOT a stripper or a hooker....

Kari Al'Thor was chilling in purgatory or Heaven when she had a hinkering for something to drink. So she calls in a favor with her old pony/The Creator, and Bela sends her to Camelyn to fetch a pint (nothing compares to royal ale.) Just as she's downing her first tankard the door swings open and lo! it's Asmodean. Naturally, Kari killed him and ingested him whole, which is why the DO couldn't rez him (you can't rez someone from the bowels of the dead, doncha know?)

Motive? Kari was Asmo's mother reborn, and we all know Asmo killed his mother, revenge is best served cold... with ale...

Doesn't meet IO? Well, duh, it couldn't be more IO, especially in Jordonian terms.

This satisfies every argument. And if you think it doesn't tell me how and I'll make up an explanation clarify.

whisky > rum

Nyn

This is an fascinating look into the mind of the AS and how they prey on us,

Take notes Warders

I have been. They've stopped resembling notes and started looking like enemy battle plans.. *grin*

If you have a quote you believe deserves to be on our list, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org to let us know about it! We'll do our best to include it, but we make no guarantees!

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Nynaeve

Nurit: Ladies and Gents, Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai’s lackies, Red heads with pointy sticks, Leaf sniffers, Wolf wannabes, Shadow poopies of any kind, bug people, freelanders (couldn’t think of a cute nick *L*), Children of the light (my ass!), Red prints, strange looking earring freaks and the respectable BTers... I hope you are ready for this fantastic display of our one and only, our beloved, DRAGON REBORN!!!

*Taim walks onto the stage*

Taim: It is an honor to be here, Nurit.

*Nurit rolls eyes and calls for security*

*seconds later Taim is being dragged away, whilst screaming like a school girl*

Nurit: Ahem..... Our very own, non-false Dragon Reborn, Rand Al’thor!

*Rand walks onto the stage, the audience goes wild, Taim boos silently from the back*

Rand: It is wonderful to be here, Nurit. I must apologize for my associates’ shameful display. It’s a drag shaking off the groupies but it must be done. Once I caught him going through my panties drawer...

Nurit: Yes, I understand. It can be very...you have a panties’ drawer?

Rand: Errmmm...that was Lews talking, he has a thing for panties...air flows of a sort. I'd rather not expand on the subject.

Nurit: Happy to oblige, Rand. Now, tell me something, how does it feel to have another person in your head?

Rand: Well, it’s not easy. Sometimes I want to go left, he wants to go right, and then I end up on the floor punching myself to a bloody puddle. It’s not pretty and people stare...you can imagine.

Nurit: Yes... I can see what you mean. It might project insanity to some. Does that bother you?

Rand: No, it doesn’t. I know the truth, I’m not mad. I just hear voices. *ggls to self* Lews says your fly is open.

Nurit: *raises an eyebrow* I’m wearing a dress.

Rand: Exactly! HAHA!

*stares at Rand for a long moment*

Nurit: Tell me, Rand. When Lews talks to you, what does he say? Does he ask you to do things for him?

Rand: oh, plenty of times. He keeps asking and complaining, wanting more and more, shouting, making a fuss. But he gives NOTHING back... NOTHING! And I’m tired of that BLOODY old man. If he wants this relationship to work, he must put some effort into it too, you know?

Nurit: No, I don’t. Lets keep it that way. Now, Rand, does Lews realize that he’s actually a dead man captured in another person’s head?

Rand: Hell no, the old man thinks I’m possessing HIS body. Pompous bastard. Keeps telling me to kill whoever I lay my eyes on, especially when I’m around women. Since he started talking to me I haven’t been able to be with a woman….he keeps chattering and raving while I’m trying to stick my...

Nurit: That would be enough for today!!! Rand, thank you for coming here tonight

Rand: It’s okay...there was nothing good on TV…

Nurit: Yes, very considerate. We’ll be happy to have you here again...

Rand: I’m free tomorrow *G*

Nurit: That’s lovely...don’t call us, we’ll call you. Goodnight Rand. Have a wonderful year.

Rand: Happy new year, everyone! Lews wishes you all a painful death! Goodnight!

Nurit: Join us again in a month…same place…same hour...hopefully a different character *waves*

If you have comments or feedback for this column, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org with "Nyna Says Something Funny" in the subject.

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Claireducky

Ever feel like you would love a chance to petition the Amyrlin in real life? Wanna know what to do about your cheatin' no-good boyfriend? Want to know the square root of 10,536,516? (Psst: It is 3,246) Well, now is your chance!

Send in your questions, solicitations for advice, or pleas for mercy to:

daesdaemar@whitetower.org

With "Mother Ducker Says" in the subject line.

You must send in your inquiry by the 15th of the month to be included in the edition released on the 21st.

-------------------------------------

As this is the first edition of Mother Ducker Says, I only have one question to be answered this month:

Dear Mother,

The world seems so unfair. My boyfriend for two years says my boobs aren't big enough. But he likes them natural. Now he's dumped me for a cow. No, I know what you're thinking, "What a mean horrible lil girl, calling her rival a cow!" but you're wrong. My boyfriend's in love with a cow. Like steak, before it's cooked. The ones that go "Moo". A cow. Named Betsy.

Exactly.

I'm so confused. What should I do?

From,

Bovinely Devastated

Dear BD,

Getting ditched is always hard. I think that in this situation the best option is revenge. Track down this Betsy and ship her off to a dairy farm somewhere (preferably far, far away). She'll spend the rest of her days hooked up to a giant suck machine, and he'll never be able to make the comment "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?" again. After you do this, I wouldn't try to get back with him though...you never know what diseases animals have. ;)

Quackily Yours,

Mother Ducker

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Vanion

Sometimes in life, we seem to exhaust our supply of books, music and movies. This is a great shame, as these are things which most people find important. So, in an attempt to help you out of that rut you may find yourself in, this column is dedicated to Recommended Reading/Watching/Listening.

I will do my best to bring you great books, movies, TV shows and music for your personal enjoyment!

Recommended Reading

Books by H.P Lovecraft

The Alchemist (1908)
The Call of Cthulhu (1926)

Books by Steven Erikson

Gardens of the Moon (1999)
Deadhouse Gates (2000)

I don't want to overload you with books to read just yet, so I will leave it there for now! The reasons for my recommendations here are simple. H.P Lovecraft was an author before his time. His grasp of modern horror is what sparked Steven King to become a modern horror writer, and Lovecraft's work is simply amazing, when considering the time he was writing in. He creates a spin on the modern pathos of evil that has survived to this day.

Now, Steven Erikson... I cannot say enough good things about this man. The character rich world this man creates will always leave you satisfied. You'll be on the edge of your seat the entire time, never able to put his books down. With plot twists in what is already a masterfully planned work will see you rooting for a wide range of characters, both good and evil.

Recommended Watching

Television Series

Bones
House
Dexter
Sons of Anarchy
One Tree Hill (My wife insists that this be added...)
SG:Universe

Movies

Avatar
The Boondock Saints
Shooter
300
V for Vendetta
The Last Samurai

Anime Series (For You Anime Lovers!)

Vampire Knight
Rurouni Kenshin
RahXephon
Witchblade
Darker Than Black
Code Geass

Well, that should give you quite a bit to watch for now. Believe me, this is by no means a complete list of what I would recommend. These are simply shows and movies off the top of my head. Hopefully, you will enjoy them. If it's not to your taste, well, be sure you check out next month's column and you may just find something you'll enjoy!

Recommended Listening

Now then, music is always a touchy subject, as there is a very wide range of genres out there. My musical taste is pretty varied, but I will tell you this straight out... the chances of you finding any rap, hip hop and such on these lists... is extremely slim. It's not a genre I personally enjoy. Except for old school hip hop. That stuff just has rhythm anyone can enjoy.

Now, just so you know, my band lists will include some classics, which you should already know.. if not though, have no fear! You are about to get a taste of greatness! Also, as a point, I will try to include some lesser known bands which I think you should take a chance on. This is the point in your life where you can break free of the mainstream, corporate trash that being fed to the masses.

So, on to the list!

Metal Bands

Metallica
Iron Maiden
Slayer
Pantera
36 Crazyfists
Fireball Ministry

This list could go on and on. I am a big metal fan, and there are many metal genres, so make sure you check out next month's list for metal, as I will have more metal bands for your enjoyment. These metal bands have hard hitting hooks and riffs, combined with lyrics that you'll love.

Now then, let us continue!

Rock/Alternative

Flyleaf
Jack's Mannequin
12 Stones
Halestorm
Dropping Daylight
Story of the Year
Theory of a Deadman
Nazareth
Eddie and the Cruisers

I could list a hundred more bands, but this will get you started. You no doubt see some band names in there you've never heard of before. Give them a chance. You may not like them, but then again, they just may change your life. I like these bands not only for their instrumental greatness, but their lyrics are simply something I can identify with, whatever my mood happens to be.

Punk Rock

Dead Kennedys
Bad Religion
The Clash
Dropkick Murphys
Flogging Molly
Stiff Little Fingers
Streetlight Manifesto

More than enough for your listening pleasure. All are great bands if you like Punk Rock or Ska. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Now, I am gong to drop a final list under Blues. If you don't like Blues, you just haven't been listening to the right stuff! As a guitarist, I simply love the Blues. I always figured when I picked up a guitar for the first time, that once I got real good, I would shred. Metal solo's all day, every day! Face melting, ear murdering awesome. Was I ever wrong. When I am sitting around and I start playing for myself, I always end up playing Blues. I chalk this up to a good friend of mine who I've known for about 19 years now. He was my inspiration, and when he played the Blues, he did it from the heart and soul.

On to the list.

Blues

Robert Johnson
B.B King
Albert King
John William Coltrane
Muddy Waters

I'll not create a huge list here for Blues, as not many people are fans of this genre.

Ladies and gentlemen, this will conclude this month's Recommended Reading/Watching/Listening column! I encourage you all to expand your taste in music, movies and tv shows. Try something new once in a while. Who knows, you make be thankful you did!

Elgee · December 24, 2009

by Kara_J

Come play games with us! *g* Work your brain and have fun while you do it with this monthly feature.

Featured this month:

Wheel of Time Crossword! Test your skills on this crossword here:

http://www.zen107147.zen.co.uk/crossword1.html

Have a suggestion for a game? Let us know! Email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org and be sure to put "Puzzles and Games" in the subject line!

claireducky · December 24, 2009

Great job, everybody!

Reyoru · December 24, 2009

I'm not even a member of the WT but I've gotta say I love your newletter. Nice one people! :D

claireducky · December 24, 2009

Wow, thank you, Reyoru!

Wayward_fool · December 24, 2009

*loves the Rey*

Reyoru · December 24, 2009

No probs - its wonderful work and effort from everyone. In fact I'm sorely tempted to join the WT...

claireducky · December 24, 2009

No probs - its wonderful work and effort from everyone. In fact I'm sorely tempted to join the WT...

*offers platter of cookies*

We could always use another recruit for the Warders! Or you could go Sedai pathed and end up a brother of one of our awesome Ajahs. ;)

Reyoru · December 24, 2009

Cookies?! And a wonderful community with wonderful people on the side?

I'm in!

*takes cookie and gives Claire and Boopsy a hug*

Now I gotta visit the sign up thread...

Wayward_fool · December 24, 2009

That's right people! Daes Dae'mar, White Tower Newsletter for great source of information AND be recruited too.

*grins*

WE WOULD TOTALLY LOVE TO HAVE YOU REY!!! TOTALLY.

Reyoru · December 24, 2009

Haha ;) cheers Boopsy

Elgee · December 24, 2009

Very glad you enjoyed it so much, Reyoru ;D

Little Miss · December 25, 2009

Perhaps we should make this thread temporarily 'sticky' so that it'll still be at the top when people come back from Vaca?

Minuet · December 27, 2009

Yes, can't bury this intriguing news stuffs. You all did an awesome job. Enjoyed it immensely.

Elgee · December 27, 2009

Stickied it :D

Vanion · December 28, 2009

Our awesomeness is now in Newsletter format!

;D

DAES DAE'MAR - The White Tower & Warders Yard Newsletter - 2009

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