Bela

[Balefire to da face!]

Argh, punctuation mistake! I am vanquished! :D

 

Also, I wasn't signifying a slight pause inbetween those words, I was indicting a bit of trailing off. We are talking on the internet here, not writing an English paper. While capitalization and punctuation are always a plus, sometimes I dare modify the language a bit to try to better represent the feeling of an actual conversation. Getting intention and feeling across with social interaction via written word is tough enough without trying to strictly adhere to exact grammar.

 

I apologize to those who found my post to be incomprehnsible :-[ 

 

Now lookit what happened, the thread degraded into me and Ares sniping at each other about grammar like a couple of pissed off Browns. Next stop; Ares sniffing, and I'll tug my ponytail!

 

Oh, sorry. Ares and I.

[sketching sedai]

Is that an English accent I hear Mr Ares?

Yes. No other accent is worthy of my voice.

*shrugs noncommittally* ...Your English...I’m English...

0%

Seriously? ... Well I guess you qualify. Although, considering your score, an hour with me would probably give you that heart attack, early or not.

 

...never eaten a pot noodle...

If you're anything like me, after reading Mr Ares's posts, just one.

sketching sedai, I think this is where your chav test should have been directed.

Take the damn test Balefire to da face! And Mr Ares, please, call me sketch...

[WWWwombat]

I got 13% and I'm American.  What does that mean? O.o

[Ashaman Kovan]

I got 13% and I'm American.  What does that mean? O.o

 

What test are you guys talking about??

[sketching sedai]

Here you go mate, it basically test how much of a chav you are.

The Chav test: http://www.boredandlazy.co.uk/quiz.php?q=chav

WWWombat, 13% is not bad, I think anything below half is ok. You getting over that and your basically an American version of a chav.

Here an in-depth look at what a chav is, does etc...

This guy does go overboard a little; they’re not that bad, but you get the picture. Get 50% or over and your probably one of them.

 

“Chav = English Greasy B*stard” nicely said.   

 

[Balefire to da face!]

7%

 

I think it would have been lower, but I am guessing "toilet" is a bit more common usage here then over in England. While we typically don't go running around saying "I gotta use the toilet"(our gradeschool teachers cure us of that phrase rather quickly :D), I doubt many of us have gotten through our lives without using it at some point.

 

And in my defense, I haven't stolen anything in about 20 years :P

[Mr Ares]

While capitalization and punctuation are always a plus

And the correct use of the apostrophe?

Next stop; Ares sniffing, and I'll tug my ponytail!

*Snorts* Only a Yellow does any braid tugging.

 

Oh, sorry. Ares and I.

Actually, you were right first time.

 

Your English...Im English...

What about my English?

...never eaten a pot noodle...

My tastebuds have done nothing to deserve such punishment.

 

I got 13% and I'm American. What does that mean? O.o

You'll have a harder time getting the state to support you and your 20 kids with 20 different teenage mothers. You drink a different beer. You get the pronunciation of certain words is wrong. That's about it, really.

[WWWwombat]

You'll have a harder time getting the state to support you and your 20 kids with 20 different teenage mothers. You drink a different beer. You get the pronunciation of certain words is wrong. That's about it, really.

 

What kind of beer do English people drink anyway?  Most people here drink stuff that tastes like piss.  Also, you might have some gripes with my spelling ;)

[sketching sedai]

7%

 

I think it would have been lower, but I am guessing "toilet" is a bit more common usage here then over in England. While we typically don't go running around saying "I gotta use the toilet"(our gradeschool teachers cure us of that phrase rather quickly :D), I doubt many of us have gotten through our lives without using it at some point.

 

And in my defense, I haven't stolen anything in about 20 years :P

Hahaha 

I think the average English person would struggle to get below 10%, as for teens...trust me, I don’t know any that would get below 20%. “Can you name any characters from Eastenders?” I don’t watch it, but I can name one or two. I bet even Mr Ares can. 

Numbers 36, 45,26,12,28, nobody’s getting past those...

Ps, 26 (not personally).

Your English...I’m English...

What about my English?

Wow. I bet u txt like Shakespeare...   

...never eaten a pot noodle...

My tastebuds have done nothing to deserve such punishment.

*shrugs* I can’t cook. I make a mean bowl of cereal...

You drink a different beer.

What kind of beer do English people drink anyway?

Mr Ares was only pulling your leg. we drink tea. ;D

[OptimusPrime]

Bela doesnt drink. Or eat, sleep or breath. Unless shes in disguise of c'horse.

[Mr Ares]

What kind of beer do English people drink anyway?

If they're chavs, something cheap and nasty, highly alcoholic, and available by the crateload from the nearest Lidl.

Also, you might have some gripes with my spelling ;)

Well, chavs can't spell properly anyway. Just follow the American principle of simplifying words to extremes. An "f" can often take the place of a "th", for example, and "g" is frequently interchangeable with "k". Hence, we have nufink instead of nothing. If letters are too complex, numbers can sometimes be used, and extraneous vowels should be omitted where possible: hate is thus rendered h8, text as txt. Try it, and you too can soon become completely unintelligible to anyone with an IQ above 4.

 

Can you name any characters from Eastenders?

Why is that question even on there? EastEnders is one of the most popular shows on British television, along with Coronation Street. They dominate the top ten in the ratings. Watching it in no way equates to chav-hood. As for using the term settee, that dates to 1716, according to this. It certainly predates chavs. The same site also has the term toilet as predating loo (or you could call it a lavatory. If you don't like the Conservatives, you could abbreviate it to the 'tory, I suppose).

 

Wow. I bet u txt like Shakespeare...

I don't text at all.

*shrugs* I cant cook. I make a mean bowl of cereal...

I burnt a salad once. Amazing the lengths some people will go to to get out of being made to cook.

Mr Ares was only pulling your leg. we drink tea. ;D

And we don't smoke hash, we take crack. It's very more-ish.

[mb]

Bela doesnt drink.

*Bela dies of dehydration*

 

or eat

*Bela dies of starvation*

 

or sleep

*Bela becomes sleep deprived*

 

or breath

*Bela does not live*

 

 

Though of course you were joking.

 

[Mr. Dragon]

Bela doesnt drink.

*Bela dies of dehydration*

 

or eat

*Bela dies of starvation*

 

or sleep

*Bela becomes sleep deprived*

 

or breath

*Bela does not live*

 

 

Bela lives on pure awesomeness.

 

 

Can you name any characters from Eastenders?

Why is that question even on there? EastEnders is one of the most popular shows on British television, along with Coronation Street. They dominate the top ten in the ratings.

 

neighbours is also pretty popular (i think) though that is ofc due to the fact that the show is in honour of bela (just look at the title!) though sadly, she doesn't feature much :(

[ROB_88]

when i tried that chav-test i had to check urban dictionary for most of the terms.

is that good or bad?

 

what the hell is a chav anyway?

[Red Hand Man]

Reeeeeal Horse of Genius:

 

We salute you, o'keeper of the glue.  You've made it through 11 books as a worn out old cart horse, while all the cool kids ride beautiful big chested mares and geldings.  Keep on truckin'.

 

Reeeeeal Horse of Genius.

 

edit:

35% Chav, though "Caravan" in the US was interpreted as a Dodge Minivan.

[OptimusPrime]

Bela doesnt drink.

*Bela dies of dehydration*

 

or eat

*Bela dies of starvation*

 

or sleep

*Bela becomes sleep deprived*

 

or breath

*Bela does not live*

 

 

Though of course you were joking.

 

 

*follows the example of mb and forgets anything that resembles a sense of humor*

 

 

[Red Hand Man]

 

*follows the example of mb and forgets anything that resembles a sense of humor*

 

 

Very dry, that 's all, but don't worry Optimus, Bela can find water in the three-fold mb-land.

[Mr Ares]

neighbours is also pretty popular (i think)

Not in the same league as Corrie and EastEnders.

[Blackhoof]

Violets are black,

Roses are blue,

Bela's a horse,

And you are too.

 

Saidin is black,

Saidar is white,

Hurry up Bela,

And perish in a fight.

 

Roses are purple,

Violets are red,

I hate you, Bela,

Hurry up and be dead.

 

Fire is red,

Lightning is blue,

Hurry up Bela,

Be made into a shoe.

 

As you have gathered,

I dont like Bela,

I feel like singing,

La la la la!

 

-Anonymous

 

......

 

 

My whole family, they all burned,

And the woman, my love she had spurned,

I kill and burn, but i'm not done,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

diddle dee, didleedidlee dee!

 

My fiery wrath, they will learn,

The worlds destiny I will turn,

No one can stop me once i've begun,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

diddle hee, didleedidlee dee!

 

The fire and lightning, that I hurled,

The power I called, it destroyed the world,

The Power was mine, the strength of the sun,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

diddle dee, didleedidlee lee! Diddle dee, Diddlediddle deeeee!

 

-Poem by insane Aes Sedai, Blackhoof "Pherno" Henzig

[OptimusPrime]

My whole family, they all burned,

And the woman, my love she had spurned,

I kill and burn, but i'm not done,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

My fiery wrath, they will learn,

The worlds destiny I will turn,

No one can stop me once i've begun,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

The fire and lightning, that I hurled,

The power I called, it destroyed the world,

The Power was mine, the strength of the sun,

I'm just trying to have some fun.

 

I like it. Wheel of Time has made me enjoy poetry such as this. Strength of the sun sounds good, like the Snaxes and Foxes rhyme. Courage to strengthen has a great ring to it.

[Blackhoof]

I enjoy it immensly as well,

These poems hold me in their spell,

It took me hours to write that song,

Why, oh why, did I take so long?

 

The Power, it shines within my veins,

The Power, it burns, ignoring my pains,

I have to get it out somehow,

So I decided to Balefire a cow.

[sketching sedai]

Wow. I bet u txt like Shakespeare...

I don't text at all.

Why am I not surprised. ;D     

when i tried that chav-test i had to check urban dictionary for most of the terms.

is that good or bad?

 

what the hell is a chav anyway?

Bad! It means you’re a bloody chav!

Just messing, it’s most likely because you are not English. It probably means nothing.   

And if you still don’t know mate, go back a few pages. You’ll find everything you wanted to know... And some things you’d rather not. ;D

 

 

Keep on truckin'.

Amen to that.   

35% Chav, though "Caravan" in the US was interpreted as a Dodge Minivan.

You’re the only person so far to score higher than me...thank you

neighbours is also pretty popular (i think) though that is ofc due to the fact that the show is in honour of bela (just look at the title!) though sadly, she doesn't feature much :(

Nice. I like your style...teach me.

As you have gathered,

I dont like Bela,

I feel like singing,

La la la la!

Come on mate... It started so good. ;D

-Anonymous

Hahahahahaha...

That’s probably for the best, ‘cause if I ever find out who wrote this...

*definitely is not looking at a certain somebody*

 

*Starts up Chamillionaire-rindin’ intro*

 

They see me rollin

They hatin

Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

play my harp so loud

I'm singing

They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

 

Red ajah think they can see me lean

I've inverted so it ain't easy to be seen

When you see me ride by they can see Bela’s sheen

And my shine in the saddle and the Ter’angreal screen

Ridin with a flip skirt, she like hold up

Next to the Ter’angreal controller, is a Razor sharp weave, in the blink of an eye

Turn Seia Doon into Far Dareis Mai

Girl you ain't know I'm crazy like Asha’man

Just tryin to tickle, ain't tryin to have no babies

Ride clean as saldaeans so I pull in ladies

reds on patrol, and you know they hate me...

 

-poem by insane Asha’man, riding Bela

[plasmon]

Years ago on USENET someone wrote a hilarious story from Bela's POV. The characters in the story were written as if they were actors playing roles in a movie or play. Is that story still available someplace?

[Blackhoof]

My sisters are after me, i'd better run,

Why can't they see that im just having fun?

I knew I could take them out with ease,

A blast of Spirit drove them to their knees.

 

Fire, Air, Water, I summoned Lightning,

The results of this were quite frightning,

Those that survived I cut with Fire,

They thought I couldn't, but i'm no liar.

[Mr Ares]

Violets are black,

Roses are blue,

Roses are purple,

Violets are red,

Fire is red,

Lightning is blue,

-Anonymous

Anonymous appears to be colourblind.