An RP for healing..

[Eqwina]

I have been away from DM for awhile, but for many years it was my safe space. It was where I felt like I could express myself and where I could be me. It was truly my online home. It is because of this that I feel safe sharing something that happened in my life last month. On July 13th my older brother and my sister in law were killed when their motorcycle hit a deer. They left behind three children. My two nephews from a previous relationship, who are 10 and 13 and my young niece who just turned 3 in May. They did not have a will, and so our entire lives have been turned upside down. We have been dealing with lawyers and court dates, and trying to figure out how to move on with life. Prior to this accident I had been writing every day. Sometimes I was working on my book, other times I was just journaling or free writing, but it was a daily habit. Since their accident I have not written a single word. I have sat down and tried, but nothing comes. I know that it is a byproduct of my grief and that in order to start truly healing I need to write again. So here is my idea.....

 

My Warder/former Mistress of Trainees has a younger brother, a character that I wrote. I think I want to start an RP where Thera finds out that he has died. Perhaps if I can start writing again, it can help me heal in real life. I do not have an idea of what Thera would need, because I do not even know what I need, but I would love from people to jump in. I am going to try and get the post up this week. It will be called Life As She Knew It. 

[Taymist]

I won't pretend to know what you're going through, Crystal. Every bereavement is different, and your situation is particularly hard with the kids to think about. But thank you for sharing with us all. I do empathise and I do understand what it's like to try and write following a traumatic event, having found some solace that way myself in the past. I need to get Kiyi's Test/Oaths finished but if I can do it in time, I'd be happy to jump in. Failing that, I know we have a couple of other Warder members and Sisters available so I'm sure they'll be very willing to help with whatever you need. 

[Kathleen]

I am so sorry for your loss and all the struggles that have come with it. Anything we can do to help I am more than willing to do.

 

I know this goes without saying but with people jumping in I trust everyone will respect that this will be yours to lead how you want. If you ever feel like it’s getting out of hand or going in a direction you don’t want it to go let me or Tay know ASAP. This is meant to help you and if it starts to hurt you, I will step in. 

 

 

[Jagen Sedai]

I'm so, so sorry Eqwina. I know what it is like to lose family unexpectedly, and it is so hard. I also shouldn't pretend to know how badly you're grieving, of course. You have my empathy.

 

I would not mind using my Yellow, Celestine, if you started this thread. Maybe Yellows often council grieving Tower members...

[Arie]

I can not express my deepest of condolences for you and your families loss. I can't even imagine, and if there is anything... 

 

You know Cairma has gone through loss and may be the older figure for Thera to talk with. Conor has aged and could be interesting to. I'm open and will watch for the thread ❤️

[Eqwina]

Alright.... it was a struggle to write but it is up! @Liitha 

 

[Cass]

Eqwina/Crystal,

 

I don't have a character to add to your RP, but just wanted to say even though you mentioned it was hard to write, I really liked your intro, and I think this is a great and brave idea to try. Got a feeling this one is probably going to be a tear-jerker and beautiful all in one. I hope you find you can continue without putting too much pressure on yourself, and find some solace in doing so.

 

Also echoing Kat on the open door RL-wise, if at any point you want to try talking/venting about the situation (any of it) OOC in a more-private-but-still-DM space as another option, please, please feel free to message me. I personally found it really, really hard to write creatively after losing my own sister, but might've stuck with it more/got the gist of it back if I'd had a space to really acknowledge and work through exactly that alongside my writing attempts and blockages as well, so that might be another tactic to try if you get stuck.

 

I would hazard a guess you could also post about it here or on other DM threads as often as you'd like as well and nobody would really have a problem with it/you might find more wide-ranging support from others who have experienced and tried various things. I guess I just really want to reiterate that if the IC thread doesn't fly straight up, there are other options and we'll all try to have your back as much as we can ❤️ 

[Liitha]

Agrees, tak your time, and you know where to find me both in chat or in PM here, we may not be ajah sisters anymore after I stoped writing Ata, but the old yellows will always have a special place in my heart with me. So wherever you need to take this next, we will figure it out, even if it means going back over things to get them right.

[Eqwina]

I appreciate you ALL so much. Change has never been something I enjoyed, and suddenly my entire world is changing....and the hardest part is I have no real control over what will happen. I have to continue to live in this limbo, and writing has always been my therapy. The fact that I have struggled to write has been making this all even harder. Knowing that I have this place where I can express myself (through theses characters who have been a part of me for more than a decade) is a huge relief. Also, having all of your support really does mean the world to me.