New Year's Curses

[Wren of the Brown]

Rather tgan wishing glad tidings and best wishes upon someone, it is sometimes more appropriate to wish mischief upon their quiet lives. Conjure up a New Year's Curse here - it can't be outright harmful or deadly. Instead, it should serve as a reminder that mayhem makes merry.

 

"May your dog spread false rumors about your marriage."

"May the ruminations of a century egg take residence in your trousers."

"May your work desk be infested with banana slugs."

"May you be abducted by pygmy rhetoricians."

"A thousand cats in your closet!"

"May your guest bedroom be appropriated by a pushy salesman."

"May you belch out hairy frogs at your next romantic interlude."

 

And, go!

[Ryrin]

May your glass always be empty.

 

May your shelves be bare.

 

May your neighbor be a hoarder.

[LadyWordsmith]

"May your death be at the hands of procrastinators!" 

 

"May your fish never bubble your secrets." 

 

"May all your children be ta'veren." 

[Wren of the Brown]

May a young child be named after you.

[Wren of the Brown]

May your glass always be empty.

 

May your shelves be bare.

 

May your neighbor be a hoarder.

Yikes. That was rough. *high five*

[Wren of the Brown]

May you always be younger than you look.

[Wren of the Brown]

"May your death be at the hands of procrastinators!

-50 points to Ravenclaw! No deaths allowed. An additional 50 points to Ravenclaw for your generosity in death.

[LadyWordsmith]

 

"May your death be at the hands of procrastinators!

-50 points to Ravenclaw! No deaths allowed. An additional 50 points to Ravenclaw for your generosity in death.

 

 

There is no death. Proper procrastinators would never get around to it. This is rather the point, that you would sit around waiting for a death that would never get around to happening.

 

 

May you live next to a ballet studio dedicated to teaching Ogres. 

[Wren of the Brown]

o i c

 

50 points to Ravenclaw for being unnecessarily clever!

[Ryrin]

May you always be at the mercy of Fades.

 

May you always be reborn as a kitchen scullery maid.

[Taei]

May all your mail be filled with glitter.

 

May your floor always be covered with Legos.

 

 

Lady, I have to say kudos. Brilliant!

[Wren of the Brown]

May your male be filled with glitter.

Fixed it for you.

[U4ea]

May the wind bring your spit back to your face.

 

May there always be holes in your umbrella.

 

May the internet crash 5 minutes from the end of whatever you were watching on Netflix.

 

May the reply button never work.

[Ryrin]

May your mother in law always believe you are not good enough.

 

May you always fail in your SCA endeavors.

[U4ea]

May you run out of thread six inches from the end of your project.

 

May the rain pour on your first event.

 

May your canvas tent mold, even though you just weather proofed it.

[Wren of the Brown]

May you run out of thread six inches from the end of your project.

*weeps inconsolably*

[U4ea]

May you weep at all ASPCA commercials.

 

May you forget the blood donation to your project (usually doesn't turn out well for me if I don't bleed on it).

 

May your dreams confuse you more than people's love of Twilight.

[Ryrin]

May everything you cook turn to dust.

[Wren of the Brown]

May you fart cayenne powder.

[U4ea]

Ouch!

 

May you run late. Everywhere.

[Thane Vakarian]

May your phonenumber be made public in kindergardens, claiming it is the Santa Hotline

[U4ea]

Oooo, harsh!

 

May your phone number be one digit off of the local movie theater's number.

[Wren of the Brown]

Oooo, harsh!

 

May your phone number be one digit off of the local movie theater's number.

That happened to a friend except it was a dirty contractor who gave out a false phone number to avoid credit agencies. He usually got called once a week by lawyers and collections.

[Wren of the Brown]

May your pillow always have a faint smell that you can never place.

[Thane Vakarian]

may they stop selling your favorite drink