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 A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Very Few Would Know

NetSlider

By NetSlider
in Wheel of Time Books

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NetSlider Community Regular

NetSlider

Posted
Posted

So i remember that couple years ago i stumbled on somr post on some website where the person was posting very, very funny summaries of books. I dont remember much details but i do remember that it was argued that rj himself was making the posts. So please, anyone knows where i can find that website again???!

Id be very surprised that if more than very few old dwellers would know what im talking about, but i hope that i will read it again (last time i read it i was literrary crying from laughing so hard).

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Suttree Master

Suttree

Posted
Posted

So i remember that couple years ago i stumbled on somr post on some website where the person was posting very, very funny summaries of books. I dont remember much details but i do remember that it was argued that rj himself was making the posts. So please, anyone knows where i can find that website again???!

Id be very surprised that if more than very few old dwellers would know what im talking about, but i hope that i will read it again (last time i read it i was literrary crying from laughing so hard).

 

Think you are referring to "The Wheel of Time" by Isam

 

http://www.ataricommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=386600

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OptimusPrime Mentor

OptimusPrime

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Dark Lord: DEMANDRED. HOW FARES THIS WORLD, DEMANDRED.

 

Demandred: Rahvin is dead, Great Lord.

 

Dark Lord: DONE BY MY ANCIENT ENEMY. THE ONE CALLED DRAGON.

 

Demandred: Great Lord, do you mean one currently called Dragon, or another in a previous Age, who might be a female Dragon, or barring that, a female substitute Dragon? I refuse to believe that a female Dragon couldn’t exist…

 

Dark Lord: DEMANDRED, I’VE TOLD YOU TO STOP PERPETUATING THAT STUPID THEORY.

 

Demandred: Sorry, Great Lord. I don’t know what I was thinking.

 

Dark Lord: So, tell, me Demandred….Damn, my amp…it’s lost power.

 

Demandred: I’ll plug it back in, Great Lord. How about now?

 

Dark Lord: SO tell ME Demandred….NOW it’s SWITCHING back AND forth. THAT’S no GOOD…

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: Was ist los? Ich kann nicht normal sprechen. Ich spreche wie ein verrueckter Mensch.

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: ImspeakingtoofasthelpstopmefromspeakingsofastIcantstopthisIcan’tbreathe…

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: 01111001100001100000111111010100110010010.

 

Demandred: HOW ABOUT NOW. HEY, NOW I’VE GOT THE BIG VOICE.

 

Dark Lord: Stop that.

 

Demandred: SORRY, GREAT LORD, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MY OWN BIG VOICE. HEY. THIS IS KIND OF COOL. I AM THE GREAT LORD. OBEY ME OR DIE. LET THE LORD OF CHAOS RULE.

 

Dark Lord: Do not do impressions of me, Demandred. I am the Great Lord. Those who do impressions of me will die.

 

Demandred: EXCEPT FOR ISHAMAEL. BECAUSE HE IS MY FAVORITE FANCY PANTS BOY.

 

Dark Lord: I’ve never called Ishamael my favorite fancy pants boy.

 

Demandred: YOU IMPLIED IT. THIS I COMMAND.

 

Dark Lord: You cannot command me. I command you.

 

Demandred: BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE BIG VOICE.

 

Dark Lord: I should have the big voice.

 

Demandred: BUT YOU DON’T. SHAIDAR HARAN, GET ME SOME LEMONADE.

 

Shaidar Haran: Yes, Great Lord.

 

Dark Lord: No! Shaidar Haran, he’s impersonating me! Don’t get him lemonade.

 

Shadar Haran: But He’s got the big voice, Great Lord. How can I refuse?

 

Moghedien: Hey, what’s going on?

 

Demandred: Check out my impression, Moghedien. Ahem. MOGHEDIEN. YOU DISAPPOINT ME. BUT I WILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE TO SERVE THE SHADOW. YOU MUST CRAWL THROUGH MY MAGICALLY LOWERING TUNNEL WITH THE ROCKS GRAZNG YOUR HEAD. THEN YOU MUST LEAP THROUGH FLAMING HOOPS, THEN JUGGLE EIGHT PORCUPINES TO SHOW YOUR LOYALTY TO ME. FROM THIS DAY FORTH, YOU SHALL BE REBORN AS ‘CUCAMONGA.’ THIS I COMMAND.

 

Moghedien: Hey, that’s pretty good! Let me try. I AM THE GREAT LORD. I LIVE IN A BIG FIERY LAVA TOILET. OBEY ME OR PREPARE TO BE FLUSHED DOWN AMONG THE FLAMES.

 

Great Lord: Okay, I don’t really sound like that. Shaidar Haran, back me up.

 

Shaidar Haran: Actually, you do kind of sound like that. And it does look a little like a big toilet. Here’s your lemonade, Demandred.

 

Demandred: THANK YOU, SHAIDAR HARAN. YOU PLEASE ME ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY FANCY PANTS BOY, ISHAMAEL.

 

Dark Lord: Now I’m getting mad.

 

Demandred: I AM THE GREAT LORD. I CAN DISH IT OUT, BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT.

 

Moghedien: Good one.

 

Demandred: I LIKE TO MAKE BUBBLES OF EVIL. BEWARE THE EVIL PLAYING CARD FIGURES THAT I MAKE COME TO LIFE. THE THREE INCH TALL AMYRLIN SEAT’S GONNA GET YOU. SCARY.

 

Moghedien & Shaidar Haran: [snickering]

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Kamin_Majere Contributor

Kamin_Majere

Posted
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this... is... the... greatest... thing... ever!

 

 

 

 

Elaida: Fain, I am looking for a new advisor. Tell me your qualifications.

 

Fain: Well, I am filthy, insane, and evil.

 

Elaida: You’re hired. Advise me.

 

Fain: You must become crazier. Look how well it's done for me.

 

Elaida: Good advice.

 

I actually LOLed

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kght22 Collaborator

kght22

Posted
Posted

this is linked if you take the time to read the wheel of time tropes. just google wheel of time tropes. it is fun by itself, and it link's isam's parody, although i wish he would appear to finish the series.

 

oh, and everything has tropes, so don't even begin to think that the tropes cheapen twot. it is just a fun way to look at any enjoyable piece of media.

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kght22 Collaborator

kght22

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Posted

Probably the funniest thing I have ever read. "Go light"

you sir have said the funniest thing ever, but you have also admitted that you are shadow aligned =P. s**t as a good guy what should i say, oh yeah; that is what i should say: what should i say?

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  • 5 months later...
Luckers Spam Master

Luckers

Posted
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And cruel. I'm too close to Brandon, and my feelings over what he has done are too strongly negative. Were I to attempt what you ask it would be nothing but cruel--and though very few people believe me I actuall like Brandon far too much for that.

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Morden Collaborator

Morden

Posted
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Egwene: Rand al’Thor! As an honorary Aes Sedai, you must listen to me!

 

Rand: I thought you were an honorary Aiel.

 

Egwene: I’m both. It’s called "Aiel Sedai." It’s when you’re arrogant enough for two cultures.

 

^^ that one seriously made me crease up

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Suttree Master

Suttree

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Egwene: Rand al’Thor! As an honorary Aes Sedai, you must listen to me!

 

Rand: I thought you were an honorary Aiel.

 

Egwene: I’m both. It’s called "Aiel Sedai." It’s when you’re arrogant enough for two cultures.

 

^^ that one seriously made me crease up

 

So good...

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