Lawsuit of the Day

[Kivam]

Here we have another lawsuit that is based on Nintendo’s Wii, the wildly popular gaming system for children that adults are strangely not embarrassed to love.

 

Sadly, this lawsuit doesn’t involve a grown woman making herself sick by refusing to urinate. Instead, we have a guy who needs to play as a space traveling princess in order to enjoy himself. Game Spot has the report (gavel bang: Overlawyered):

 

   

In the suit, the San Jose, California, gamer takes exception to a recent Nintendo Wii system update that disables access to unauthorized third-party programs like the Homebrew Channel. Specifically, the plaintiff is upset about losing the ability to use a program that would unlock the character Rosalina in Mario Kart Wii. Ordinarily, a player would need to have a Super Mario Galaxy save file on the system in order to unlock that character.

 

Cause of action? The gamer — and I use that term very generously, considering we’re talking about somebody who loves the Wii — says that Nintendo is ruining his pursuit of happiness.

 

Maybe if they made Wii: Constitutional Convention, lawsuits like this wouldn’t happen:

 

 

“In federal terms, the plaintiff who relies heavily on video games for happiness, would like the federal court to decide if Nintendo is interfering with certain player’s pursuit of happiness, which is stated in the United States Declaration of Independence,” the suit states, “where Benjamin Franklin was in agreement with Thomas Jefferson in downplaying the protection of ‘property’ as a goal of government, replacing the idea with ‘happiness.’”

 

What grown-ass man sits around playing the Wii by himself? Does he sit around masturbating to episodes of Sailor Moon as well?

 

This guy is also suing Xbox because his system is broken and he can’t afford a replacement. Previously, this same plaintiff sued Sony when he got kicked off the Playstation network.

 

It seems to me that the thing preventing this guy from pursuing happiness is his evident lack of friends. Playing the Wii is only appropriate (if at all) when you are in a large group of friends. Just this weekend, I had a little Mario-Kart action. I kept falling into some kind of water trap under a moving bridge and was about to go Happy Gilmore (“You’re gonna die, clown!”) on the entire system. But I was playing with friends, and one of my friends (call him “Shooter”) refused to finish the race — forcing me to extricate myself from the water hazard three times. Now, clearly Shooter is a giant dick, but everybody had a good time at my soggy expense.

 

Friends = pursuing happiness. No friends = inappropriately pursuing a fantasy relationship with Rosalina. I’m sure Ben and Tom would have put this caveat into the Declaration, but they were too busy hanging out, banging French women and slaves, to imagine a world in which people forget the value of interpersonal interaction.

 

http://abovethelaw.com/2009/11/lawsuit_of_the_day_friendless.php

 

Ah, gamers  ;D

[Majsju]

Am I the only one who immidiatly thought of SD when reading this? ;D

[SinisterDeath]

Am I the only one who immidiatly thought of SD when reading this? ;D

 

Yes, because i'm a total loser who spends his days and little money to be had on frivolous law suits.

 

If I were that much of a loser, i'd shoot my self in the head.

 

 

The first person I thought of when I read this was Majsju.

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/rugbynation/rugby-news/tm_objectid=15165945&method=full&siteid=50082&headline=welsh-rugby-fan-cuts-off-own-testicles-name_page.html

A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles after his team beat England, police confirmed today.

 

The man was rushed to hospital after the incident at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, South Wales.

 

A Gwent Police spokeswoman said: "We received a call from the ambulance service at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."

 

She said the man was taken to Heath Hospital but could not confirm his condition.

 

It was reported that the man told his friends: "If Wales win I'll cut my own balls off."

 

After the 11-9 victory in the Six Nations clash, the man is reported to have gone outside and severed his testicles before bringing them back into the club to show fellow drinkers.

 

A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking.

 

 

[Barmacral]

Sin... you know he was joking, right?

[SinisterDeath]

Sin... you know he was joking, right?

 

No shit barmacrawl.

[Silver]

lol, think you guys hit a nerve.

[SinisterDeath]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/96345-Agoraphobe-Sues-Activision-Over-Hurtful-World-of-Warcraft

The crazy-ass bastard who sued Sony over a PlayStation Network ban and then launched suits against Microsoft and Nintendo has fired one last litigational salvo: He's suing Activision Blizzard because World of Warcraft isn't fun enough.

 

The story of Erik Estavillo should be familiar to all of us by now: The agoraphobic gamer filed a lawsuit against Sony in July for banning him from the PlayStation Network for "inappropriate behavior" while playing Resistance: Fall of Man and then last week began a pair of sequel lawsuits against Microsoft and Nintendo for the Red Ring of Death and the 4.3 update to the Wii firmware respectively. But that's not the end of it; today he announced his "final lawsuit," filed against Activision Blizzard because World of Warcraft isn't fun enough.

 

I make that point twice because although it may sound like a joke, it's not. Estavillo's complaint essentially breaks down like this: Blizzard charges too much money for World of Warcraft, a problem exacerbated by the fact that the game doesn't let people move around fast enough until they've sunk enough time and money into it to buy a mount or a "teleportation stone." But mentally ill people who rely on MMOGs as their primary form of entertainment and contact with the outside world have a tendency to die when they're deprived of them and since Estavillo himself is mentally ill and doesn't want to end up like all the other dead MMOGers out there, he wants the game "fixed."

 

Oh, and he wants a million bucks in punitive damages "for creating a game which hurts gamers rather than being a bridge of entertainment for them to pursue happiness."

 

But wait, there's more! To support his case, Estavillo has subpoenaed both Depeche Mode lead singer Martin Lee Gore and actress Winona Ryder to testify. "[Gore] will be a witness on 'alienation' and the ties it has to World of Warcraft, since he himself has been known to be sad, lonely, and alienated as can be seen in the songs he writes," he explained in an email to The Escapist.

 

"[Ryder] and I share a common interest in the book Catcher in the Rye, which is all about alienation," he continued. "She will be a witness that can explain the significance of alienation in Catcher in the Rye (since she bought one of the original printed copies at an auction) and will also testify to how alienation in the book can tie to alienation in real life/video games such as World of Warcraft."

 

It's quite clear at this point that one of two things is happening here: Either Estavillo is a total nutcase - not just agoraphobic, OCD and all the rest, but completely out of his tree - or these lawsuits are a buildup to some sort of unfathomable attention-whoring punchline. It's a dangerous game; according to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, people who knowingly bring a frivolous lawsuit before the courts can be slapped with some pretty hefty fines.

 

And yet... Is there a third possibility that we're overlooking? Could all of this in fact be another stealth ad from the wild and crazy guys at the Dante's Inferno marketing team? Is it sloth? Will it be greed? Is it possible that this series of insane lawsuits will turn out to be the most insidious advertisement ever? Of course not - although as explanations go, it makes about as much sense as anything else involved in this case. (And if it is, I'm totally buying the game just for the sheer awesomeness of the marketing.)

 

Estavillo's complaint can be read here (page 1, page 2) while the subpoenas, just to prove that they do in fact exist, are here (Gore, Ryder).

 

Theres a reason Majs's statement wasn't funny, this guy is way out there.

Its the same as the guy who cut off his testicles because his team lost. Everyone knows Maj is a psycho when it comes to his sports team. But he's not 'THAT' psycho.

It be like calling Kivam Rush Limbah, or Goldeneyes the leader of the P.E.T.A Oranization. It goes from a burn to just plain slander. I play vidoe games for 'fun', I'm not an attention whore who spends money on lawyers on stupid frivoles lawsuits. I make FUN of this guy, and am nothing like him.

 

If I were like Him I'd be sueing DM for not being cool enough.

[Ozhammer]

Wow, reminds of the Pat Benatar song "All fired up"  ;D

[Haxorsist]

Maj is EXACTLY that psycho, so I don't get your point. :P

[SinisterDeath]

Maj is EXACTLY that psycho, so I don't get your point. :P

 

Then you don't know maj very well.

The only thing he likes more than sports, is the putang. ;)

[Karana Majin]

I thought it was spelled "poontang".

 

 

[SinisterDeath]

I thought it was spelled "poontang".

 

You would know.

[Red2111]

*forehead-desk*

 

first, this guy is a total nut job and needs to have all rights as a gamer revoked.

 

second, i take offense to the first article.  i'm a semi grown up and a fan of the Wii; though in my defense i'm part of the nintendo generation having been born in '85 and nintendo has always held a soft spot in my heart.  the Wii has 3 great games for lone players like myself.

 

-mario galaxy

-zelda: twighlight princess

-supermario bros.

 

 

if he wants roseline (who sucks in mario kart btw) that much, then just go out and get a used verson of Mario Galaxy for 10 bucks  *shakes head*

 

 

maybe we should put a counter suit against him for wasting oxygen by bing alive to breath ::)

 

 

the game companys should fight this and not settle

[Kivam]

If I were like Him I'd be sueing DM for not being cool enough.

 

What's the theory?  How could it possibly be DM's fault that you're not cool enough?

 

;D

[SinisterDeath]

If I were like Him I'd be sueing DM for not being cool enough.

 

What's the theory?  How could it possibly be DM's fault that you're not cool enough?

 

;D

 

And how is it any of the game companies fault that the guy in question is such a loser, he's going to spend tons of money (something I don't have) on a bullshit lawsuit, that those companies have no liability over.

 

Look at it this way.

Of all the video game law suits, that I have seen this year.

This, is the only one that actually has any reality behind it.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/95901-Lawyer-Sues-Over-Seizure-Triggers-in-Videogames

 

An attorney in the U.S. is looking for people with children who have suffered seizures as a result of playing videogames, apparently to take part in a planned class action lawsuit against the industry for its failure to "fix" the problem of seizures caused by gaming.

 

Personal injury attorney Michael P. Kenny of Kenny & Kenny originally filed suit against Sony and Vivendi in 2007 over claims that "seizure triggers" in the 2002 game Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly caused a seizure in a four-year-old boy who was watching his brother play the game. The lawsuit is just now entering the discovery phase.

 

"The videogame companies know there is a problem, and they choose not to fix it," Kenny said in a press release. "The videogames seizures have a cause, and the manufacturers choose not to correct it." Saying that he intends to represent victims of videogame-induced seizures across the U.S., he added, "Without federal legislation to compel the video game companies to take action, we have no choice but to litigate on behalf of the victims."

 

To that end, Kenny has put up a site at videogameseizures.com, seeking parents of children aged five to 18 who may have been the victims of gaming-induced seizures. "Your child may already be suffering the ill effects of video gaming," the site says. "Players may experience small lapses in consciousness, excessive blinking, eye twitches, and other symptoms, all the way up to grand mal seizures associated with full-blown epilepsy." In a television-style advertisement on the site, the attorney goes so far as to claim that the videogame industry's "dirty secret" can even result in death.

 

Television broadcasters in the U.K. use the Harding Flash and Pattern Analyzer to look for "seizure-inducing light movement" in television broadcasts, Kenny said, and the U.S. government has a limit the number of flashes per second in the warning strobe lights in government facilities. "Yet videogame manufacturers have not taken the same steps to protect our children at play," he claimed.

 

I'm not sure how the fact that most, if not all, videogames already carry warnings about the possibility of seizures will affect Kenny's planned suit; it's unclear whether he's seeking clearer warnings about the potential for seizures or an elimination of all potential seizure triggers from videogames before they're released. Whichever it is, I'm sure that hefty sums of money will also figure prominently; along with Sony and Vivendi, Kenny is suing the retailer who originally distributed the "defective product."

[Barmacral]

Sin, is it your personal goal to kill every joke in this thread?

[Haxorsist]

I guess we just have to try harder.

That's what she said.

[Cadsuane]

Hax, it's not the trying that needs to be harder.  ;D

[SBoydW]

ZING!

[SinisterDeath]

Hax, it's not the trying that needs to be harder.  ;D

http://postvac.com/avt/