The Effect of Americans on the Global Culture

[cosmicpanda]

Dear Americans,

(denizens of the USA for Mexicans and Canadians that might otherwise feel implicated)

 

You have some elements of your culture that I deem unnecessary and a detriment to the global culture at large. However, this is balanced by other elements of you culture that make up for it. My reasoning is as follows:

 

Bad things:

 

- You write your dates all wrong. It's day, month, year. That's a simple, logial progression, right? Now, take a system like month, day, year. Who thought that one up and felt really clever afterwards? He was responsible for one of the biggest cultural divides since that whole business with the tower of Babel.

 

- Talking of languages, you spell things funny.

 

- You call semibreeves 'whole notes', which makes no sense in the context of anything but common time or cut time.

 

Good Things:

 

- You provide support for Canada. Without the USA in the middle, Canada would be bordered by Mexico. This would be bad because people would then try to mix tortillas with maple syrup, and that would be an abomination to both God and Man.

 

- House and the Big Bang Theory. I have to admit, I'm a fan. In fact, I have started categorising my friends in a manner worthy of Sheldon. They start out as unregognised companions of mine. I call these people 'unofficial companions'. Also with the unofficial companions are the people who try to be friends with me but are too irritating. The next step above 'unofficial companion' is 'official companion'. These people are either those who used to be my friends and made some sort of unforgivable faux pas, usually about Bach, or people working their way up towards 'Friend' status. 'Friend' status is quite self-explanatory, and usually requires an interest in Bach, motorsport, organs, music in general, or something else that I admire. 'Good Friend' status is regulated to one person at a time, usually somebody that I drink with since absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

 

And then I be grouchy in the manner of House.

 

- Pizzas. You wrestled them from the Italians and made them your own. Good on ya.

 

 

So, overall, you're pretty top blokes and and gals really.

 

Yours,

 

Pandy

[Canukistani]

I object!  Tortillas with maple syrup would be the awesome

[Alaksuleiel]

like crepes with vegemite.... mmmmmm....

[cosmicpanda]

I object!  Tortillas with maple syrup would be the awesome

 

So by that reasoning, there are more bad things than good about the USA?

[bad company]

The major problem of americanism is that it erodes native phrasing, ideas etc

[cosmicpanda]

It's funny all the South-and-West Auckland Maori tough guys between the ages of about 12 and 19 who act like they're all gangsta.

[bad company]

I just find that hilarious, especially if I know them and know they are tools

[Far Dareis Mai]

So what does that make me, in your weird categorization of people in your life? :P

[LedZepMan]

I decline resposibility for teh more................annoying................*coughliberalscough* that have been plauging the country of recent.

 

Im whitey, and I apologize.

[Toy and Minion]

I'm Whitey, and I don't apologize.

[Barmacral]

So what does that make me, in your weird categorization of people in your life? :P

 

Inferior obviously. He's a terrible bonded it seems.

[LedZepMan]

Just ask Japan!!!!!  ;D

[cosmicpanda]

So what does that make me, in your weird categorization of people in your life? :P

 

Org leader. Special category :D

[Edielin]

ORG LEADER BANS COUR'SOUVRA!

 

..But wait - it hasn't happened yet...  8)

[el Nynaeve]

I decline resposibility for teh more................annoying................*coughliberalscough* that have been plauging the country of recent. 

 

*decapitates LedZep* I object to being described as a plague! :P

 

I am a perfectly good pandemic.

[bad company]

Your a pleasent pandemic to get

[Moghedian]

It's funny all the South-and-West Auckland Maori tough guys between the ages of about 12 and 19 who act like they're all gangsta.

 

But they are! Especially to us civilised Cantabrians... And our sheep. ::) :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Red2111]

i must agree

 

tortillas with maple syrup is most certaintly delicioso ;)  add scrambled egg, some bacon ....  *drools*  breakfast burrito

 

*mega thumbs up*

 

 

*whispers*  you forgot the metric sys vs american sys.

 

*snickers*

[cosmicpanda]

Okay, I give up on the tortillas + maple syrup. I'm an uninformed New Zealander.

 

You are also correct about the metric system. I swear, every time Far and I talk about the weather it's like talking to an alien...

[bad company]

Screwy americans

[cosmicpanda]

If they either listened to Bach or drank Scotch they'd be more like the rest of us.

[bad company]

But then we would be kiwi and since they would be kiwi, they would be Australian