The Trial of Kathana Travaelar

[Elgee]

Kathana, front and centre!

 

Or is that slightly to the left? Off right? Oh just put her over there by the empty table. The other empty table. Have you Gaidin been at the Oosquai again? You know the defendant always goes closest to the jury so they can slip them bribes! What do you mean there’s no jury? Oh right … we have the Judging Council. That would be us.  Looks at the empty seats next to her. Shortly.  Nods.

 

Anyhoo … there’s a reason we’re here. I’ve got new boots. Puts her feet up on the table in front of her to show off her new red boots. Just check those 6 inch stiletto heels! Cool, heh? Of course, I had to have the Gaidin carry me here because I can’t a bugger walk in them, but that’s besides the point. Actually, the boots are besides the point in totas.. totat… completely. Places her feet back on the ground and sticks her gum on the seat next to her when Mystica, Barmacral, Dwynwennnn (how many Ns in that again?) and the MotherDucker file in and take their places beside her. Barm looks at her funny, and Dwyn frowns.  Tries hard to recall why she’s here. Oh yeah!

 

Kathana Travthingy, you are hereby charged with mattress OW! Glares at Dwyn … oh right. You are charged with a very serious charge, full of fancy words (Kivam wrote them up, but I can’t even pronounce most of them and he can kiss my lily white derrière if he thinks I’m gonna read all of that! Some of those words have more than 3 sables … syllabubs … syllables! And they sound like foreign speak to me. Got no truck with using them foreign words.)

 

Not abusing your Mod and Admin Powers! That’s it, in a cocoanut shell. Disgusting! Once you’re evicted … convicted, we’re going to put you in the deepest hole at the back end of the Black Tower, farthest from the pudding mines! Or in Belgium, in the fish mines.

 

So plead!

 

What? Glares at Myst and pulls her sleeve away from the Highest’s grip. Oh … right … the Prosecutor will be Kivam (you can have those cases of Vodka delivered to my quarters now thanks ever so Kivam) and you can pick your own defence attorney. You might want to try Van – he can defend the pants off anyone. Or at least defend anyone with his pants off. Either way he got ME loose and we all know I was guilty as … uhm … never mind carry on bangs her gaidin on the table in front of her.  What??  Double glares at Myst … what the buggery is a gavel? … O_o I aint banging that …

 

[Daruya]

Oh, I wouldn't miss this for anything!

 

*sits down on the front row with a huge bucket of popcorn and a gallon-sized drink*

[JenniferL]

Really? You're putting me on trial for not abusing my powers and you expect this thread to not disappear? I expected better from you.

[Elgee]

I bribed Empy *grins*

[JenniferL]

See, the funniest thing I could do right now would be to say "Oh. I am supposed to abuse those? Okay" and delete this thread. I'm still an Admin after all, and I still have power to abuse.

 

But it looks like you worked hard on that first post and I don't know that you saved it.

[Elgee]

You could, but then that would ruin all Kivam's fun! He has this pretty speech all written up, and stuff. Plus, there's the person who gets to defend you. Plenty of volunteers there, you know!

[Shamaeso]

Point of Order if I may..

As a meber of the Warder's Council of Quartermasters I would like to know if in any way this will affect Sancho and Lefty. I will not partake in anything that might not cause them to be seen cause all know the breastesses of Kathana have long enamored this warder...

 

PS Jimmy has a HOT wife!

[Elgee]

Point of order: what's a meber?

[JenniferL]

Sham, you don't have to suck up to me anymore.

[Ireond]

Plenty of volunteers there, you know!

*Peers over the bar and notes the lack of people rushing to volunteer*

Weeelll, she could always at least defend herself, which she seems to have started doing anyway

[Elgee]

... there's a bar here??

[Ireond]

Yeah, and even at 6' I'm not tall enough to see over it except on tip toes. 

[Elgee]

Well, can you reach the Vodka at least? I'm dying for a drink here.

[JenniferL]

... there's a bar here??

 

It wouldn't be a trial here unless there was an open bar.

[Barmacral]

Can I just deliver my verdict and get drunk yet? Or do I have to actually be fair about this?

[Elgee]

I think we have to wait a bit before we find her guilty. But we can get drunk in the mean time!

[Ireond]

*starts handing out drinks*

Well, I suppose this is one way to pass the bar

[Vanion]

Oooh!! Can I be the Defense Attorney?!

[JenniferL]

Do I need one? This is such a flimsy excuse for a trial, they aren't even bothering to question me.

[Elgee]

... you've done something to Kivam, haven't you? *Eyes Kathana sternly*

[JenniferL]

No, not...recently...

[Ireond]

*looks behind the bar and under the stools just in case he started early*

[Dwynwen]

bangs her gaidin on the table in front of her.  What??  Double glares at Myst … what the buggery is a gavel? … O_o I aint banging that …

 

 

*Chuckles so hard she nearly passes out*  Now that I've managed not to die from the hilarity of that statement, I'm ready.  :D

 

I would strongly recommend that you get a defense attorney, Jenn.  I defended myself last time, and it didn't do much good.  This lot is more distracted by pantsless Warders than it is dazzled by logic.    8)

[Ireond]

Well, think about how many people understand pantslessness, and then think about how many people understand logic.  It becomes simple math at that point.. *grin*

[Dwynwen]

Ah, you do have a point there.  :)