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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Invasion


goldeneyes101

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I stand on a hill top looking down at the Seanchans base in a cold fog covered morning suited in my old armor Warhammer on a hook at my waste and two Bastered sword on my back and a white shield emblazied with two dragons on it. All of a sudden i hear panting. I look down and see Warfrost my most loyal compianion It is good to have you with me and watching my back friend. I look behind me to the host of ogeir with me all dressed in battle gear that shone in the suns rays. Weapons at the readie i turn back and raise my Warhammer and with a world command i make a swift choppng motion to fire the seige equipment and start the charge. I start running with Warfrost and a host of ogeir chargeing close behind me

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adorned in his armor winds turns to address his division

 

This is our chance to shine! lets show them seanchan how real ogrier fight. Engineers deploy the portable stedding genarator, full power. Siege engines let fly!

 

*a ripple seems to cross over the field as the portable stedding deploys. the air fills with the whistle of flying ballista bolts and granite trebuchet rounds*

 

Heavy armor company  form a defensive perimiter in front of the engineers untill trenches can be dug out. scout platoon, I want numbers.

 

*a loud crack is heard as the siege rounds strike the base, throwing the seanchan into havoc*

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ACK!

 

Shhhh! It's early, and I sleep out here when I come home late so Empy doesn't get jealous that I was out on a date n' stuff.

 

ahhhh, my head is killin' me.

 

*grabs some Orange Juice*

 

Vitamin C I love so.

 

*goes back to bed in the newly trampled up ground*

 

mmmmmm, warm.

 

JD,

'Chan

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JD's got the right of it...

Do we come to your home, and destroy everything?!

Sure we do, but we don't bring seige equipment!

Well, not unless you count barms; And thats no reason to call him a siege machine!

He maynot be human, but he still has feelings... Well, Probably Too Many feelings if you ask me. Put a few beers in that kid and he starts hugging everyone! Then theres Paityr... You Definately don't want that guy drunk at a party... He'll start running around all naked and stuff, while spouting off the awesomeness that is Communism, and constantly asking you every 5 minutes 'are you going to recycle that beer can? If not I can do it. are you done yet? are ya? are ya?'

Then theres Empy...

Man... He's a fun drunk, not only does he do everything barms does, but he does it while looking like Lex Luther from smallville, in a Pink Tu-Tu.

Thats the difference between Empy funny, and Barms Funny; which as you know, barms isn't funny but empy is!

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Hiding behind Moose and winds (because she's nobody's fool) a tall, portly Ogier huffs along, pulling a huge cart full of extremely large, round, flakey-brown objects. Quickly she commandeers one of the trebuchets and loads it with one of the balls. Something darkly red oozes from a small crack in the side. She wipes it away, licking the stickiness from her fingers. Smiling with evil satisfaction, she quickly whips out her offset spatula and slathers sticky, fluffy white stuff from a large jar over the crack, sealing it shut. "Take this!" she cackles as she fires off the death machine. "This will teach you not to show up when we pay you a friendly visit!"  ;) :D  She watches as the giant death-by-pie-ball unerringly finds its mark, covering the 'Chan with gooey cherry ooze. "Yes!" she cheers, pumping her right arm up and down. "Death by sugar! Today you will taste our wrath, 'Chan! In multiple flavors even! Her mad cackle echoes across the battlefield, striking fear into the hearts of the 'Chan, for they know this Ogier. Her giant pudding and pie-balls are the stuff of legend. They look around and see their comrades covered and suffocating in thick, red cherry juice, their blood-sugar levels already approaching terminal levels. Suddenly they begin to fear this invasion will not turn out as others had in the past. For one thing, it was going to be much harder to clean up. And, it was going to taste a great deal better.

 

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We 'Chan tend to be smart asses, so you shouldn't take anything we say too seriously. Unless we're insulting Paityr. Or explaining that Barm isn't funny. Then we're entirely serious.  ;D

 

*ducks flying cake*

 

*ducks flying Silver*

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Ballista's redirect and shoot cadsuane!

 

*ballistas redirect and launch a wave of bolts that make cadsuane look like a pincusion*

 

geeze moose, they're already complaining about siege equipment, and they havent even seen the warwagon or the siege towers! but i will show them what it means to be on the receiveing end of a gunpowder charge!

 

*winds loads a charge into the trebuchet and lights the fuse, quickly launching the round it lands straight on empys head, sending him flying*

 

at this rate, we're going to win.

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*the engineers finish the fortifications around the siege equipment*

 

silver will be fine, I think... I'll launch another volly in the seanchans direction and go grab him.

 

*winds orders another volly of gunpowder charges into the ranks of the seanchan, he then takes a platoon of armord ogrier to claim silver*

 

silver you allright buddy?

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*steals a catapult*

*Motions to Silver*

*Launches Silver at the RPers*

*Searches for a cow*

*Launches cow at the RPers*

*Finds some pie*

*Launches Pie at RPers*

*Looks around and doesn't see anyone*

*Launches self at RPers*

 

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Who's RPing? Didn't they read the sign?

 

*looks around*

 

Alright what happened to the sign?

 

Bah, nevermind.

 

*writes a new one*

 

1.  RPing not allowed, No Exceptions.

2.  Don't feed Barmacral

3.  Or laugh at his stupid jokes, it just encourages him.

 

I wish I could remember what the other rules were, but since I ignore the rest of them I completely forgot.

 

And Cads, you read every word I write with the kind of devotion normally only seen in teenage fangirls of the Jonas Brothers.  Why you try to deny our love I'll never understand.  If we were in private I'd give you a thorough spanking.  I'd do it anyway, but you'd enjoy it too much, and it'd hardly teach you any kind of lesson. 

 

Now you RPers get off my lawn before I have to shake my fist at you.

 

JD,

'Chan

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*shakes her fist at JD* That for your rules!  :P

Alright! You asked for it! *loads the trebuchet with an extra large chocolate pudding ball* Fire in the hole! *launches*

Behold JD, completely covered in chocolate pudding!  :D

 

*looks at Silver and asks winds* Is he Ogier? I thought he was 'Chan. Or ammunition. Your pick.  ;D

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Funny you should ask that today. I just learned today that, according to my 16 year old, the Jonas Bros are a singing trio of guys over whom preteen girls scream. He thinks this is very ironic, since two of them are said to be gay. I was so proud that he knew what ironic meant.  ;D

*fires off another pie-ball, this time key lime flavored*

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I don't know anything about no brothers jonessuckyworhty, or whatever, However I do know two brothers who would rock every bodies (of the female persuasion's) pants off. And those brothers, are the Blues Brothers.

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