Nynaeve and Lan's Sea Folk Wedding...what gives??Prenup??

[Ciete]

From their own comments, both Nynaeve and Lan got more than they expected from the Sea Folk wedding.

 

Other than some vague references about obeying in public/private, does anyone know what else this ceremony entails?

 

All I know is she seems more likeable since she got hitched, and I wonder if Lan's "Wedding authorities" have something to do w/it. Whaddya think??

[Anajon]

I think it is mostly this authority thing - Nyn very much had the idea that if she married Lan he would be her wader ... so she would always be in charge, as she likes to be.

 

But the sea folks - have a rule that who is higher status in public has to submit in private so that means when they are alone, Lan is the boss I guess it is been really good for her to just be able to let go and have a man take care of her even if she didn't want it that way.

 

Somewhere it also said that she really enjoyed sex with him and the other girls thought she was making it up - but I'm sure it is quite true :-)

[sonieb33]

I don't have any sources but from what I remember back in the day many marriage rituals included someone watching the marriage being consumated (look it up if you don't know the meaning) because the marriage was not final until they did. A marriage which was not consumated, I think still today but I'm not sure, can be annulled (made as if it never happened).

For queens and kings it was done, I think, by a member of the clergy or maybe a doctor but I don't remember exactly...and like I said, I don't have any reliable sources. Not because there aren't any but because I didn't put the time into it to research it. It is possible that the Wavemistress may have been required to view the consummation of the vows.

 

This, I think, would fit Nynaeve's comment about privacy...although I can't find the exact quote at the moment...I just spent upwards of 30 mins. looking....there should be a concordance in back of these books instead of a glossary!!

 

As an aside: I wanted to also mention how horrible it was for RJ to skip over telling us what happened at their wedding. After all the pointless details - he decides to be brief on this ONE point. I mean, in this book alone I've heard enough about breasts to last me for the rest of my life....but we get nothing but side comments about two MAIN character's being married by a group of exotic people!!! I think it's only proof that RJ had an audience in mind which were distinctly young and distinctly male. 

[JenniferL]

Or he realized that no matter how bizarre he made the seafolk ritual sound, our own imagination would top it five fold.

[sonieb33]

True, I've heard some pretty ridiculous theories. All I know is that there's no way prim Nynaeve and gallant Lan did it on the deck in front of everyone. She'd have never done it for one. The things that embarass the Two Rivers folks is enough to know that nothing like THAT happened. I would be willing to bet that all it was was a public kiss, like at the end of every Judeo-christian wedding. THAT alone would elicit the type of embarassment (a mere blush and comment) that we see in the text. Having to do something perverted would have ruined her for life.

[ed2funy]

I believe they had to get married naked, or she had her chest bared.

It's their style you know?

 

Nyn is a lot more 'perverted' than you think. Have you 'seen' those dresses she wears???

[sonieb33]

HAha! Knowing RJ's seeming obsession with breasts...I can buy the shirtless possibility, however, I still don't believe Nynaeve would act merely coy about it if it were. It seems to me that she would have been completely MORTIFIED in front of people (esp. of mixed gender) shirtless!! But then again I'm new to this and I'm only on book eight...maybe there's something I haven't found out yet?

[ed2funy]

I don't know...I think just being shirtless or maybe naked would do it.

She is all prim and proper, yet she sure as hell likes wearing those nice revealing dresses.

[sonieb33]

I don't know...I think just being shirtless or maybe naked would do it.

She is all prim and proper, yet she sure as hell likes wearing those nice revealing dresses.

 

 

Well, darlin', so do I....but shirtless....nuh uh!

[ed2funy]

lol...

See, that would make her have that sort of reaction. ;D

[Crael123]

I agree they prolly got married naked.

[CUBAREY]

I don't have any sources but from what I remember back in the day many marriage rituals included someone watching the marriage being consumated (look it up if you don't know the meaning) because the marriage was not final until they did. A marriage which was not consumated, I think still today but I'm not sure, can be annulled (made as if it never happened).

For queens and kings it was done, I think, by a member of the clergy or maybe a doctor but I don't remember exactly...and like I said, I don't have any reliable sources. Not because there aren't any but because I didn't put the time into it to research it. It is possible that the Wavemistress may have been required to view the consummation of the vows.

 

I think you are confusing two very different things. In earlier times if a marriage was not consummated (the couple having sex) the marriage was deemed to be not completed and could be annulled. There was also a premium on the bride being as virgin. Thus among some (Russian royal weddings for one) evidence that the bride was a virgin and the marriage was consummated was required. This however meant that the bed sheets were viewed by the relatives the morning after for signs of blood. No one actually but the couple was however present during the night.

 

Plus, while the Sea Folk are quite free about top nudity nothing in the books suggests that they are peeping toms or would require a couple to be nude at their wedding.

[sonieb33]

I had thought this entire thread was speculative. I didn't propose any of what I wrote in particular as anything definitive. Sorry if I sounded that way.

[Deviations]

Or he realized that no matter how bizarre he made the seafolk ritual sound, our own imagination would top it five fold.

 

Sorry to date myself, but think of 'The Venus Butterfly" from the old LA Law series or the 'Tongue Tornado' from the first American Pie movie.  Both of those had people imagining for months when they came out.

[lelikaleli]

In which part of what book Lan and Nynaeve got married?? If anyone know & see this, I'd be really greatful if anybody reply asap!!

[Taymist]

On 1/4/2010 at 4:42 AM, sonieb33 said:

I don't have any sources but from what I remember back in the day many marriage rituals included someone watching the marriage being consumated (look it up if you don't know the meaning) because the marriage was not final until they did. A marriage which was not consumated, I think still today but I'm not sure, can be annulled (made as if it never happened).

 

You are absolutely correct. This was common practice in the Middle Ages when it came to Royalty and people of wealth and/or importance to ensure strong unions and, as mentioned, to avoid annulments. The consummation of Mary Queen of Scots' marriage to Francis, the Dauphin of France, was witnessed in this way. For most people though, it was more of a symbolic bedding ritual (i.e. putting the couple into bed together with witnesses present) rather than a full witnessing of the act itself, or as Cubarey mentioned, it might go as far as checking of the sheets for blood the next morning.

And I can't speak for other countries, but again, you're correct that it still applies today. Certainly in the UK you can gain an annulment of marriage on the grounds of non consummation since the wedding.

[LzAkiko]

does anyone know the exact wedding vows? I was looking and must have lost that book its been 3 years since my 8th full series read. Also on board with the partially naked theory. And I think there might have been some BDSM in private as well, because of what I've read about Lans first lover and that lock of hair business from the malkier tradition. 

Edited May 15, 2021 by LzAkiko
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