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ATTN: The Dude

Barmacral

By Barmacral
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Barmacral Spam Master

Barmacral

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I've been reading a book series I think you might enjoy. You should check it out sometime. Its called the Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind. He just came out with the last book.

 

And by enjoy I refer not to book burnings but to book readings.

 

Sincerely, Your good friend,

 

Barmacral.

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the dude Veteran

the dude

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, oooooh mercy.

 

what brought that on?  :P

 

i know i've gone off on goodkind before (because he really does suck), but i hadn't realized i was so vociferous about it that i would get my own thread.  ;D

 

oddly enough i've been lurking on threads on other sites that tear down his stuff.....  just reading quotes is enough to remind me why i hated this guy's writing.  nevermind the guy himself......  his comments on canada, just.....  yeah.

 

so, is this official license to open up here on DM or what?  :P

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the dude Veteran

the dude

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you know, i can't even do it justice anymore.  after reading some of these threads on other sites....  i mean, they're entertaining (the threads, not the books), but there's a cross-section out there that devote a lot of time to ripping into this guy's tripe.  they post quotes, rip on them for a while, and then post some more quotes.  

 

i personally haven't read one of his books since i was about 15 or so.  as in, at 15, i was able to figure out, "wait, this is just utter crap...."  granted, at 13, i sort of enjoyed the first one, but 13-years-olds......  well, anyway.  i'm not 13 anymore.

 

up until last year i still had a couple of old copies of the first 2 volumes up on my shelf, until one day when i was bored and took a hatchet to them.  my wife told me i should have donated them to a used bookstore, but i told her it was much better for the world that they be destroyed before they could do more harm.  i did recycle the remains though.  ;)

 

seriously, terry goodkind has found a way to get paid to masturbate intellectually.  that's my summary of his work in a single phrase.

 

EDIT:  DISCLAIMER:   and to all those who do like his work, please feel free to disregard my statements.  just because i don't like him (or his work) doesn't mean i want to impinge on anyone else's enjoyment.

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Barmacral Spam Master

Barmacral

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Haha, I did it just cause I could.

 

Actually his final book was somewhat disappointing. Half of the book was devoted to various character's talking about the same thing over and over. And going into more depth than was needed to explain things.

 

He spent an entire chapter explaining why he was doing 1 action near the end of the book. Thats overkill... badly IMO. But I'll save my comments for an actual thread thats really about the book.

 

Dude, could you post some links to these sites that like to rip him up? I'm interested in seeing them.

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the dude Veteran

the dude

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haha, sure thing, m'man.  i gotta go hunt them up so it'll be a little while, but i promise i'll deliver.  while i'm at it maybe i'll include some interviews.

 

aaaah, the interviews.  before i read those i just thought he was a lousy writer.  now i know that he's a stupid douche too.  :D

 

i'll get them up shortly, promise.

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the dude Veteran

the dude

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okay....

 

this is prob'ly one of the most comprehensive rips, although it's outdated now:

 

http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html

 

i like this interview because it contains the infamous statements about canada.  honestly, he's a grown man in the united states.  how can he possibly believe this crap?:

 

http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue418/interview.html

 

this one's pretty funny too in it's complete disenguousness:

 

http://www.mfbb.net/demonspawn/demonspawn/demonspawn.html

 

there are others, but i think this should keep you busy for a while.

 

DISCLAIMER:  for those who like terry goodkind, you might as well skip these.  no good can come of visiting them, none that i feel right about mentioning here, anyway.

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the dude Veteran

the dude

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oh, i can't speak for him, i'm afraid; never read anything by him.

 

see, the thing with goodkind is, i really didn't give much thought to him after i stopped reading his stuff.  but a couple years ago, i guess, i ran across the interview that i linked here.  and.....  just.....  wow.  in synopsis, he makes the following statments.

 

1)  "I am not a fantasy writer.  Just because my books have swords, dragons, wizards, made-up countries and monsters, doesn't make it a fantasy."

 

Now, there are a lot of things that can be said about the above statement.  I'm going to leave that alone, as it's pretty self-evident.  The thing is, he also says:

 

2)  "I'm reinventing the fantasy genre."

 

Um, there's something in those 2 statements that don't mesh.  Cake and eat it too, much?

 

3)  Canadians get arrested for criticizing the Canadian government.

 

......  this one made me just fly off the handle when I first read it.  Just.....  what?

 

For the record, I'm Canadian.  We also eat whale blubber every day and live in igloos.  We don't drive cars but snowmobiles, we are at constant civil war between Quebec and the English provinces.  Also, we worship the devil.

 

4)  "People who don't like my writing hate all that is good."

 

That one, boys and girls, is very close to verbatim.  I could go hunt down the exact words, but screw it I'm not going to bother; trust me, the above is close enough.

 

Etc. etc.

 

Really.  Who says stuff like this?  Sometimes I wonder if this guy is even a real person or just some invented character....

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Kivam Spam Master

Kivam

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You're all the better for not having read him.  Take everything you hate about Goodkind's writing (minus the philosophical pretensions and preachiness) and quintuple it.  Then make it vapid and less interesting.

 

Finally, poke yourself with a fork repeatedly as you imagine what this writing is like.

 

You are now close to the experience of reading Robert Newcombe

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BrainFireBob Collaborator

BrainFireBob

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Goodkind's first two books are mainly decent fantasy, with some over-the top violence and sexual scenes.

 

If making a child rapist eat his own testicles of his own free will floats your boat (or fails to rock it) the first couple of books are decent fantasy. So is Faith of the Fallen- which is number . .six? Seven?

 

The rest- He's an Objectivist. It's an immature, incomplete philosophy- it has some good ideas and great rhetoric, but it falls down on close analysis. Once he became sold on his own genius, he began pontificating more than he was writing. Too bad- he can write decent-to-good fantasy; again, with disturbingly graphic sex and violence, but hey, if you can handle Martin . . .

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