Whats the next line?

[Aliriel]

Ok, so I was skimming through FanFiction.Net when I came across this funny, but IMO terrible parody of our beloved WoT, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3181863/1/The_WoT_Musical. While reading it something caught my eye, at the bottom of the second page it has Trollocs approching singing their version of "A Few Of My Favourte Things", and admittedly I almost wet myself when I read it, but unfortuneately it only lasted a few lines. I have been wondering what it would sound like in it's entirity but as I'm in no way musicly gifted, I thought it might be a bit of fun to see what others came up with.

 

Here's whats already written:

 

"Shackles and Handcuffs and things that restrain you,

 

Thumbscrews and Stretchracks and things that will pain you,

 

Items that Hurt you, and Burn you and Sting,

 

These are a few of my favourite things..

 

Cookpots and pickles and…"

 

Now fans of WoT, let's see how many other nasty and cruel things Trollocs like to sing about.

 

A.

PS: To Traitors Daughter (the author of the story), be it a S/N for anyone here or if anyone knows her, I hope you don't mind me stealing a snippet of your story for this, and please know, what I stated earlier are just my own personal opnions about the story theme and not on your writing ability.

[Aliriel]

Wow, ok. Either there are no musically inclinded people here, or this is just an epic fail...

 

A.

[UncleButcher1980]

This is only my opinion but I think musicals are the suckiest things that ever did suck. Ugh, the thought of a Wheel of Time musical? Shudder. Sorry!

[Aliriel]

Hey, I didn't write the story myself, I read it while extreamely bored while unable to sleep one night.

The song in question made me laugh my ass off when I read it though, so I thought, as stated, just for fun seeing what other people could come up with.

 

A.

[capuga]

I actually think this is funny and a good idea. I'm just not creative enough to come up with anything.

[Aliriel]

Thanks Mark.

I'm in the same boat, just cant think of anything to continue it with.

 

Where's Weird Al' when you need him lol.

 

A.

[Val Mickey]

Hit him Trolloc one more time

 

Oh baby baby, Oh filthy lady,

How was I supposed to know

that this man was your warder

Oh cursed wench, I shouldn't have

let the Trollocs eat your legs, yeah

Show me where to stick these spears

Tell me, or else I'll miss now,

Because

My awesomeness is killing you,

I must confess that I'm starving

When I'm hungry, I eat flesh,

Hit him, Trolloc, one more time.

 

- Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Brittnei Spears.

 

P.S Not bad for a first time effort, eh? I'm just bragging.

[Puny]

Hit him Trolloc one more time

 

Oh baby baby, Oh filthy lady,

How was I supposed to know

that this man was your warder

Oh cursed wench, I shouldn't have

let the Trollocs eat your legs, yeah

Show me where to stick these spears

Tell me, or else I'll miss now,

Because

My awesomeness is killing you,

I must confess that I'm starving

When I'm hungry, I eat flesh,

Hit him, Trolloc, one more time.

 

- Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Brittnei Spears.

 

P.S Not bad for a first time effort, eh? I'm just bragging.

 

*Grabs Mat´s Ashandarei and puts it through the singing Trollocs throat*

Light, that was worse then Narg!

 

Nice lyrics, Val

[coolpool]

i thought the song was really funny. Just imagine the deep monsterly voices singing this and i just can't help but laugh!Aand i read the authors chapters and they were funny too, so i thought i carry on the "favourite things" song

 

(and i don't really like musically either but come on, you got to admit that it is funny imaging the WoT charaters spontaneously bursting into song and dance at either emotional or big moments)

 

so

 

Trollocs favourite things ... continued..

 

Sharp knifes and Scissors and things that will skin you,

Cook pots and fires and spices to cook you.

Myddral to freeze you like hidden strings,

These are a few of our favourite things.

 

(grunk-ah lunk-ah grunk-ah grunka-lunk-

grunk-ah lunk-ah grunk-ah grunka-lunk-)

 

Tridents and steak knives to cut through your sinew,

Big mouths and strong teeth and things that can chew you.

Licking our fingers makes us want to sing

that these are a few of my favourite things.

 

When the foods gone!

When the mydraal mean!

When we'll feeling down

We simply remember our favourite things

And then we don't need, to frown!

 

yeah i know it sucks, but i had fun trying to work out rhymes and such..., enjoy :P

[Aliriel]

Lol, Val and Book, those were great .

Keep thinking and if you know of anyother members who are good with song, harrass, beg, plead, do what ever you need to get them to join in the fun .

 

A.

[Gathering Storman Norman]

i thought the song was really funny. Just imagine the deep monsterly voices singing this and i just can't help but laugh!Aand i read the authors chapters and they were funny too, so i thought i carry on the "favourite things" song

 

(and i don't really like musically either but come on, you got to admit that it is funny imaging the WoT charaters spontaneously bursting into song and dance at either emotional or big moments)

 

so

 

Trollocs favourite things ... continued..

 

Sharp knifes and Scissors and things that will skin you,

Cook pots and fires and spices to cook you.

Myddral to freeze you like hidden strings,

These are a few of our favourite things.

 

(grunk-ah lunk-ah grunk-ah grunka-lunk-

grunk-ah lunk-ah grunk-ah grunka-lunk-)

 

Tridents and steak knives to cut through your sinew,

Big mouths and strong teeth and things that can chew you.

Licking our fingers makes us want to sing

that these are a few of my favourite things.

 

When the foods gone!

When the mydraal mean!

When we'll feeling down

We simply remember our favourite things

And then we don't need, to frown!

 

yeah i know it sucks, but i had fun trying to work out rhymes and such..., enjoy :P

Great job I was singing along in my head envisioning Julie Andrews in a giant stew put moaning in rhythm.

[Gathering Storman Norman]

Hit him Trolloc one more time

 

Oh baby baby, Oh filthy lady,

How was I supposed to know

they this man was your warder

Oh cursed wench, I shouldn't have

let the Trollocs eat your legs, yeah

Show me where to stick these spears

Tell me, or else I'll miss now,

Because

My awesomeness is killing you,

I must confess that I'm starving

When I'm hungry, I eat flesh,

Hit him, Trolloc, one more time.

 

- Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Brittnei Spears.

 

P.S Not bad for a first time effort, eh? I'm just bragging.

 

Val, I'm sure your's is great too, I just don't know the song, so I can't enjoy it as much.

[Val Mickey]

The 3 ta'veren, I don't know if that makes you very old (sorry) or very young. Have you never heard of Brittnei Spears?

I chose that song because the fan-fic posted parodied popular rock hits, and also because I never watch musicals.

Assuming that you're, ahem, of the more, ahem, mature category, here's a Bob Dylan one-

 

Printed in the End

 

How many days will Mr. Brandon take,

while this Fade gets boiled in this dress?

How many times should I twirl in a day,

to get this bloody cloak let in air?

How many days must I wear this black cloak

before my balls go sterile?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many years will that damn al'Lan live,

alive for a mere plot device?

How many hips did the Creator test,

before he gave Nynaeve one?

How many sniffs will that husband endure,

before he gives up and dies?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many plots will a Chosen screw up,

before he becomes to be wise?

How many times will Shaidar Haran smile,

before he is flushed down the Pit?

How many wolves must that damn Slayer kill,

before he makes me a cloak?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

-Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Barbed Dh'illon Band.

[Gathering Storman Norman]

The 3 ta'veren, I don't know if that makes you very old (sorry) or very young. Have you never heard of Brittnei Spears?

I chose that song because the fan-fic posted parodied popular rock hits, and also because I never watch musicals.

Assuming that you're, ahem, of the more, ahem, mature category, here's a Bob Dylan one-

 

Printed in the End

 

How many days will Mr. Brandon take,

while this Fade gets boiled in this dress?

How many times should I twirl in a day,

to get this bloody cloak let in air?

How many days must I wear this black cloak

before my balls go sterile?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many years will that damn al'Lan live,

alive for a mere plot device?

How many hips did the Creator test,

before he gave Nynaeve one?

How many sniffs will that husband endure,

before he gives up and dies?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many plots will a Chosen screw up,

before he becomes to be wise?

How many times will Shaidar Haran smile,

before he is flushed down the Pit?

How many wolves must that damn Slayer kill,

before he makes me a cloak?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

-Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Barbed Dh'illon Band.

 

Val,

I've heard of Brittany Spears and I've even heard of the song but I don't "know" it. In other words, I'm not familiar with it enough with it to sing along in my head.

I liked the Bob Dylan song, even though he is a bit beyond my years and not particularly my cup of tea, I know some of his songs and was able to put your words to music.

 

Very well done.

 

Can you do this to any hair band songs. Any Guns and Rose or Def Leppard?

[Aliriel]

The 3 ta'veren, I don't know if that makes you very old (sorry) or very young. Have you never heard of Brittnei Spears?

I chose that song because the fan-fic posted parodied popular rock hits, and also because I never watch musicals.

Assuming that you're, ahem, of the more, ahem, mature category, here's a Bob Dylan one-

 

Printed in the End

 

How many days will Mr. Brandon take,

while this Fade gets boiled in this dress?

How many times should I twirl in a day,

to get this bloody cloak let in air?

How many days must I wear this black cloak

before my balls go sterile?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many years will that damn al'Lan live,

alive for a mere plot device?

How many hips did the Creator test,

before he gave Nynaeve one?

How many sniffs will that husband endure,

before he gives up and dies?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many plots will a Chosen screw up,

before he becomes to be wise?

How many times will Shaidar Haran smile,

before he is flushed down the Pit?

How many wolves must that damn Slayer kill,

before he makes me a cloak?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

-Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Barbed Dh'illon Band.

 

Val,

I've heard of Brittany Spears and I've even heard of the song but I don't "know" it. In other words, I'm not familiar with it enough with it to sing along in my head.

I liked the Bob Dylan song, even though he is a bit beyond my years and not particularly my cup of tea, I know some of his songs and was able to put your words to music.

 

Very well done.

 

Can you do this to any hair band songs. Any Guns and Rose or Def Leppard?

 

Sweet Fade 'o Mine (G'n'R - Sweet Child 'o Mine), Welcome to the Blight (G'n'R - Welcome to the Jungle), Look What The Trolloc Dragged In (Poison - Look What The Cat Dragged In), Ride Fade Ride (Poison - Ride Child Ride), In These Jaws (Bon Jovi - In These Arms) and one for the Lanfear/Cyndane fans out there See You In Your Dreams (Kiss - See You In Your Dreams).

 

Would these do? Not that i'm musically gifted enough to make the nessisary changes that is.

 

A.

[Puny]

"Soon and Now"

 

If madness holds me tightly

it haunts me in my dreams

Can you kill me if I beg?

 

With each breath so hard and wrong

will you end this when it must?

 

Behind your lost heart you see

all my love die for you

Can you kill me when I beg?

 

If Light was to save me so

What will you do with me burned?

 

Come here now, don´t be afraid

Pray to Light it will be quick

 

Come here now, don´t be afraid

Pray to Light it will be quick

 

Soon.. now.. Now in my hands, my love

Just one move from you

Just wait... now, the Power oh it burns, my love

To kill all of you

To kill all of you

 

 

 

A sweet lullaby from Cohimbar Kaleed Sedai

 

 

I based this little song on "Always and Never" done by Coheed and Cambria

 

<---- actual song.

[Sid]

Perhaps you could ask Moratcorlm to come up with some lines for you. It wasn't long ago that he/she came up with this gem.

[Soraz]

Tune: Singing in the rain

 

 

Just Smooooooothing my skirt;

yes, IIIIi'm smooooooothing my skirt;

its yeeeeeeeeelllow and slashed

just so sliiiiiiightly with cream

Iiiiiiiiiiii'm smooooooooooothing my skirt

and raaaaiiiiiiiising my eyebrow;

Iii'm smooooooothing and raising alll the tiiiiiime.

 

 

 

Meh; I'm musically illiterate;

[Gathering Storman Norman]

The 3 ta'veren, I don't know if that makes you very old (sorry) or very young. Have you never heard of Brittnei Spears?

I chose that song because the fan-fic posted parodied popular rock hits, and also because I never watch musicals.

Assuming that you're, ahem, of the more, ahem, mature category, here's a Bob Dylan one-

 

Printed in the End

 

How many days will Mr. Brandon take,

while this Fade gets boiled in this dress?

How many times should I twirl in a day,

to get this bloody cloak let in air?

How many days must I wear this black cloak

before my balls go sterile?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many years will that damn al'Lan live,

alive for a mere plot device?

How many hips did the Creator test,

before he gave Nynaeve one?

How many sniffs will that husband endure,

before he gives up and dies?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

How many plots will a Chosen screw up,

before he becomes to be wise?

How many times will Shaidar Haran smile,

before he is flushed down the Pit?

How many wolves must that damn Slayer kill,

before he makes me a cloak?

 

The answer, my Fade, is printed in the end,

The answer is printed in the end.

 

-Attributed to a Myrddraal of the Barbed Dh'illon Band.

 

Val,

I've heard of Brittany Spears and I've even heard of the song but I don't "know" it. In other words, I'm not familiar with it enough with it to sing along in my head.

I liked the Bob Dylan song, even though he is a bit beyond my years and not particularly my cup of tea, I know some of his songs and was able to put your words to music.

 

Very well done.

 

Can you do this to any hair band songs. Any Guns and Rose or Def Leppard?

 

Sweet Fade 'o Mine (G'n'R - Sweet Child 'o Mine), Welcome to the Blight (G'n'R - Welcome to the Jungle), Look What The Trolloc Dragged In (Poison - Look What The Cat Dragged In), Ride Fade Ride (Poison - Ride Child Ride), In These Jaws (Bon Jovi - In These Arms) and one for the Lanfear/Cyndane fans out there See You In Your Dreams (Kiss - See You In Your Dreams).

 

Would these do? Not that i'm musically gifted enough to make the nessisary changes that is.

 

A.

 

Oh yes, any of those would be a blast. I think I might even give something set to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody a try because that song is just being for a WoT parody.

 

Unfortunately, I'm not near happened enough to make it up on the spot. It might take a bit. But I'm sure there could be many funny versions of that song with a WoT twist.

[Aliriel]

Ok, this one is for Ta'veren.

As I said, I have no musical aptitude at all so please dont flame too much.

 

"Ishy drages Lanfear up on stage in the Hall of Servents, thrusts his hips and lets out a primal scream, the tune starts up and starts belting out...."

 

Welcome to the Shadow

We've got Trollocs 'n' Fades

We got everything you want

Honey, or we know the weaves

We are the people that can find

Whatever you may need

If you got the power, honey

We got your disease

 

[CHORUS:]

 

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Watch it bring you to your

knees, knees

I wanna watch you bleed

 

Welcome to the Shadow

We take it Age by Age

If you want it you're gonna bleed

But it's the price you pay

And you're a very evil girl

That's very hard to compel

You can taste the True Power

But you won't get it for free

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Feel my, my, my serpentine

I, I wanna hear you scream

 

Welcome to the Shadow

It gets worse here everyday

Ya learn ta live like a Chosen

In the Shadow where we plot

If you got a hunger for what you see

You'll take it eventually

You can have anything you want

But you better not take it from me

 

[CHORUS]

 

And when you're high you never

Ever want to come down, YEAH!

 

You know where you are

You're in the Shadow baby

You're not gonna die

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Watch it bring you to your

knees, knees

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Feel my, my, my serpentine

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Watch it bring you to your

knees, knees

In the Shadow

Welcome to the Shadow

Watch it bring you to your

It' gonna bring you down-HA!

 

Changed it to Welcome to the Shadow, Blight just didn't have the same ring to it.

If anyone has suggestions on how to improve it, let me know

 

A.

[dscott8]

With apologies to P!nk:

 

You took me away from my home

Called me Taveren, made me roam

Uh huh, that's right

 

I listened and came to believe

In all those Jendai prophecies

Yeah hon, that's right

 

If someone said three years from now,

I'd be Dragon

I'd laugh them right out of the house

'Cause they're so wrong

 

But voices in my head

Keep calling me Lews Therin

Oh Moiraine -- YOU KNEW!

 

Now I've got herons on my palms

And dragons tattooed on my arms

Oh yeah, uh huh

 

And I can weave the elements

I am a King, for all intents

Oh damn, oh Light!

 

If someone said count the broken seals

And do battle

I'd say that's not my kind of deal

I'm not cattle

 

I try to get away

But each step leads to that day

Oh Moiraine -- YOU KNEW!

 

They locked me up in a box

And you died out on the docks

What happened? What happened?

 

If someone said three years from now

I would still live

I'd laugh, 'cause my blood on the rocks

I'm doomed to give

 

That last fight

Will kill me

Make widows of my wives three

 

And my dead

Can't help me

They visit me in my dreams

 

Oh Moiraine -- YOU KNEW!

[Mr Ares]

OK, this one is only partly done. Which is probably a good thing.

 

I once had a queen,

or should I say

she once had me.

She showed me her room,

isn't it good,

Andoran wood.

 

She held me at knifepoint and told me told lie on the bed.

I thought I'd obey as it's better than ending up dead...

 

Now, if anyone wants to try finishing the story of Mat's romance with Tylin to the tune of Norwegian Wood by the Beatles in a way that won't cross the lines of good taste, they're welcome to.

[Val Mickey]

Come on, Mr Ares, I thought you were an Iron Maiden fan.

[Barid Bel Medar]

Give me a while and I think I will do the DO's version of "I want to Break Free" by Queen :)

[Mr Ares]

Come on, Mr Ares, I thought you were an Iron Maiden fan.

No inspiration for Iron Maiden at the moment, but I'm working on

by Gary Moore:

 

They came for them one winters night

With seals to keep them bound

They said they were to seal the Bore

A way to do it had been found

 

They fought then, down in Shayol Ghul

And the Chosen dared not flee

And as the Sedai sealed the Bore

They knew that they were done

"We'll be be stuck till the end of time"

He heard Aginor say

He knew if he could not not escape

Then this battle would mourn his freedom

 

Over the hills and far away

For three thousand years he'll count the days

Far from the mountains and blue seas

Stuck in the Bore is where he'll be

 

He knew that he could not do much

But every now and then

A whisper in an Emp'ror's ear

Would make the Light wish they had killed him

 

Over the hills and far away

He swears he will return one day

Over the mountains and the seas

Back in the Blight he swears he'll be