Computers

[Locke]

I'm sure at least 89% of you suspect that your computers are alive and hate you. While this is mostly true, there are a couple other things one should take into consideration.

 

1) Computers thrive on frustration. Electricity is NOT your computer's #1 power source; frustration is. This is somewhat similar to how the Eel and Ael-fins feed off emotion in TWoT. Also see: Tantalization Effect

 

2) As your computer is desperate for as much of your frustration as possible, they employ something known as the "Tantalization Effect" In other words, they tantalize you with brief moments of operation to create an effect of extended periods of optimized frustration. When you start to get ultra frustrated at your computer's inability to perform, it suddenly breaks through with success misleading you to believe that there is hope. And so on.

[mmeeshal]

Oh my gosh!! This explains so much! So...according to this breakthrough...the best way to get your computer to work...is to...erm...

 

Not get frustrated?

 

Feed it pokeballs?

 

Be sugary to it?

 

Take sledgehammers (yes, plural) to it?

 

It all makes sense now!!

[Locke]

I threaten to poor chocolate soda into its CD rom drive

[mmeeshal]

Does it work?

[Locke]

No, but it makes me feel better.

 

I'm sure Dilbert would agree.

[Talmanes]

Lol although I find merit in your theory, I think my computer would run faster if it relied on frustration.

[TheMasterDude]

I do something called the h4x0r effect. I tell it to run normally or I will h4xs it so bad that it will be forced to my will. & Then when that doesn't work, smacking it to wake it up a few times works :)

[Locke]

I think it would be profitable if they made computers with invulnerable carapace.

[el Nynaeve]

I threaten to poor chocolate soda into its CD rom drive

 

Chocolate...soda??

[alannalynn]

I threaten to poor chocolate soda into its CD rom drive

 

Chocolate...soda??

Agreed.... "??"

[Talmanes]

We sell this chocolate cheese at my store...

[Locke]

Aw, rats, I spelled pour wrong. =/

 

[Talmanes]

Lol that's what editing is for.

As I recall you have that power...

[Locke]

The problem with editing is that, unless you manage to do it before your post has a view, that the post has been edited shows up at the bottom of the post. =/

[Talmanes]

True enough, but you could still fix it even if people know you fixed it.

[Talya]

Where i used to work before I think the computers knew when there was something important to be done, an urgent email waiting, or you needed to get your Dragonmount fix, because it would go so slow as to make a snail look like Speedy Gonzalas! When you have nothing to to it runs fine, so it lulled you into believe you could just take a quick look on DM...oh NO!!!!

 

At least now, these computers are marginally better, except at lunchtime when you have the time to go on the internet, them WHAM!!! it slows slowly than a slow moving glacier!

 

Well thats my two pennies worth, now give them back ....

 

please *pouts*

[Talmanes]

*gives Talya a nickel*

[Talya]

I think that's actually worth a little more than two pennies....

 

Thank you kind sir...

[Mirshann Uuranor]

I'm of the opinion that computers and, likewise, most electronic devices actually work better when you swear at them loudly. *nods sagely*

[Talmanes]

Yeah but when the computers at work mess up I can't do that, my boss wouldn't be too happy I don't think.

And no problem your Taintedness.

[Locke]

Some people say it's a curse, but the one common denominator in all these situations is Alfredthe computers.

[Mirshann Uuranor]

Yeah but when the computers at work mess up I can't do that, my boss wouldn't be too happy I don't think.

That's probably why they misbehave so often.

Have you tried threatening them with refrigerator magnets?

[Talmanes]

Lol no I haven't, but I do think that sounds like a good plan. I must implement it at once!

[Locke]

Spontaneous implimation!

[Talmanes]

Huzzah!