Shock and Awe

[metria31183]

-The blight: Round up. Lots and lots of round up. They say to use 5 parts water to 1 part round up, but I say bump it up to 1:1 Ratio.BUt the blight feeds of the DO, so this is only a quick fix that lets you go to round two in quick succession.

 

-Trollocs. I think Biological warfare is the way to go. This will be a three pronged attack aimed at the trollocs three loves. Fighting, eating, and sex( they must breed like rabits to keep their numbers up). So Step one is the capture some trollocs and selectivly breed them to be sexier(for trollocs) and fatter. Its commonly known that wolves have one of the most malleable genetic codes out there (hence the wide variety in dogs). So the wolf type trolocs are the best canidates for this. We can also air drop thousands of pounds of crisco, and butter for them to eat. That combined with the inter breeding of fat trollocs, leads to amazingly fat trollocs. If they are too fat and lazt to fight anymore, the only thing left that they enjoy is eating. Its a vicious cycle really. Also give them syphillis. And aids.

 

-The DO is the head of the snake here and nothing will change if he isn't dealt with. Lets look at his motivation. He is obviously bored. Hes locked in the bore with nothing to do. What he really wants is cable tv, high speed internet, and a PS3. Hes trying to destroy time so that once he gets it, he has time to do it all. So we send an ambassador. And give him the biggest LCD we can make. With surround sound of course, and a crazy XPS with tons of RAM and a decent graphics chip, and a PS3, the DO might be he kind of guy who prefers a wii though, he does seem like an old guy after all. Oh and tons of porn.And passwords to all the good sites out there.

 

There we go with a dead blight and a happy DO, we have saved the day. If all else fails, Dam the rivers flowing into the border lands from the north and flood it all. over the course of a few hundred years.

 

Give the DO a subscription to World of Warcraft to go with it.  You would never hear from him again.

[RobertAlexWillis]

Why, Builder?  This is about an in-thread topic.

[Builder]

Give the DO a subscription to World of Warcraft to go with it.  You would never hear from him again.

 

Hahaha  :D. That would be a great idea!

 

Why, Builder?  This is about an in-thread topic.

 

Actually it's not. This thread has kinda derailed a bit, and it isn't your fault, but I don't want this to be turned into a scientific debate. It's just a thread where people have fun telling how they would conquer the Shadow if they had modern weapons.

[Hallow]

Give the DO a subscription to World of Warcraft to go with it.  You would never hear from him again.

 

Hahaha  :D. That would be a great idea!

 

Why, Builder?  This is about an in-thread topic.

 

Actually it's not. This thread has kinda derailed a bit, and it isn't your fault, but I don't want this to be turned into a scientific debate. It's just a thread where people have fun telling how they would conquer the Shadow if they had modern weapons.

 

It would be over very quickly if you could explain your logic in stating that the DO is energy from a scientific point of view.

[Builder]

Simply. The DO doesn't possess a body, but can still communicate with people(Forsaken but I just called them people  :o). He has influence in the environment, but at the same time he isn't literary spreading biologic diseases.

 

Therefore he must be an energetic being, and the entire idea of the DO can't be killed must come from that. You can't kill energy that is alive with a sword or even an atomic missile.

 

Now can we get back on topic?

[RobertAlexWillis]

Its perfectly on topic, since it has to do with the idea that an EMP (modern technology) could take out the Dark One (in the fight against the Shadow).

 

The Dark One exists outside the Pattern.  An EMP wouldn't do jack to him.

[Builder]

It was only an example. I too doubt an EMP would have any effect on him, but I couldn't come up with anything else  ;D

[metria31183]

Its perfectly on topic, since it has to do with the idea that an EMP (modern technology) could take out the Dark One (in the fight against the Shadow).

 

The Dark One exists outside the Pattern.  An EMP wouldn't do jack to him.

 

So are you saying the DO is really dark matter?

[cloglord]

Free trade.

 

If Randlanders send enough foriegn aid to help rebuild the infrastructure in the blight, then they could return Shayol Ghul to the idyllic island that it was during the age of legends.  Then the trollocs would have to motivation to come to Randland and make a better life for themselves and their children. 

[RobertAlexWillis]

Free trade.

 

If Randlanders send enough foriegn aid to help rebuild the infrastructure in the blight, then they could return Shayol Ghul to the idyllic island that it was during the age of legends.  Then the trollocs would have to motivation to come to Randland and make a better life for themselves and their children.

 

LMAO ... the fatal hug, eh?  Just send Angelina to adopt a few Trolloc babies.  ;D

[ghost_of_santa]

the trollocs would never want to change their lifestyle, even if their infrastructure was rebuiilt. and an emp wouldnt work against the dark one, hes not a robot, youd have to parachute in rand al thor or something.

[Dark Justice]

Maybe the free trade is not a bad idea. It doesnt seem like the trollocs are really happy doing what they are doing, since it seems the Myrdraal has to force them into battle time after time.

Open up some huge farms, promoting the idea of fair trade and equality, and the trollocs would probably provide enough food for entire randland. Im pretty sure they would be really good farmers...

[Roxinos]

They would be really good at eating farmers, certainly. The trollocs are not human. They do not think like humans. All they care about are violence, food, and sex. And not necessarily in that order.

[Dark Justice]

They would be really good at eating farmers

 

this made me laugh a littlebit.

 

The thing is, if the white tower, or the black tower, comes up with a really good team of crazy scientists, they could change the trollocs into nice and really strong vegetarian farmers.

(would be a bit sad if they had a farm with livestock, and then ate them all the next day.)

[Lord Nik]

<i> This was supposed to be posted a few days ago but due to computer problems it is getting posted... now... </i>

 

People have been looking at this the "everything goes perfect and no problems" way.

 

Time can turn some plans on there heads.

 

There seems to be a lot of plans of building these missile bases and pummeling the blight into something more twisted then usual.

 

But heres the problem.

 

#1

 

Forsaken see the "bases" getting built along the blight. Then destroy them before completion.

 

#2

 

Bases somehow get completed. Darkfriends take over one base and pummel the rest of the bases with missles.

 

#3

 

Forsaken see hundreds of these fast "things" streaking towards them in the blight. So with a bit of brains they open gateways to every large city in Randland and all (at least most) the missiles fired at them are now exploding in every place the light did not intend them to be exploding.

 

#4

 

Darkfriends get a hold of a Nuke...

 

#5

 

Forsaken take up terrorism and start appearing in cites and leveling them with the power. Then leave.

 

#6

 

Forsaken get a hold of a Nuke...

 

 

 

See some of the problems? Killing evil not so easy. They dont play fair.

[Roxinos]

The thing is, if the white tower, or the black tower, comes up with a really good team of crazy scientists, they could change the trollocs into nice and really strong vegetarian farmers.

 

How's that? Setting aside of the obvious predisposition on the part of the Black and White Towers to kill Trollocs and ask questions later, how would a group of scientists be able to change a Trolloc's natural disposition? That disposition being bloodlust.

 

Aginor bred the Trollocs. They are genetically predisposed to be evil. Even if the Third Age scientists could match Aginor's knowledge of genetics and the Power and such, how could they hope to factor that into the greater Trolloc population? Hell, how could they hope to factor that into a single Trolloc before it kills them? Even if such a thing was possible on a small scale (which I don't think it is), it's just inconceivable on a large scale.

 

You either kill the Trollocs or they kill you. There is no "bringing them to our side."

[Mr Ares]

People have been looking at this the "everything goes perfect and no problems" way.

You're right! The forces I have prepared to shoot retreating troops might themseles retreat. I'll need another line of troops behind them, in order to prevent them retreating. But then they might retreat...

 

Forsaken see the "bases" getting built along the blight. Then destroy them before completion.

The bases will be rigged with explosives. If one of the Chosen infiltrates then the destruction of the entire base and all its personnel to kill that Chosen falls within the limits for acceptable losses.

 

Bases somehow get completed. Darkfriends take over one base and pummel the rest of the bases with missles.

See above. Problem solved.

 

Forsaken see hundreds of these fast "things" streaking towards them in the blight. So with a bit of brains they open gateways to every large city in Randland and all (at least most) the missiles fired at them are now exploding in every place the light did not intend them to be exploding.

I'll use this to fuel anti-Shadow propaganda campaigns, giving the people more incentive to fight, and increasing the level of hatred to the point where my insane, wasteful and genocidal omnicidal tactics are supported by people without the threat of execution for disobedience.

 

Darkfriends get a hold of a Nuke...

Doesn't matter. They need to hold ground, which they can't do with a nuke. If they destroyed a city or two...well, one death is a tragedy but millions is just statistics.

 

Forsaken take up terrorism and start appearing in cites and leveling them with the power. Then leave.

Can't hold ground, so can't win. Also, while they are busy levelling the cities I'll just set off the nukes I have hidden.

 

Forsaken get a hold of a Nuke...

Which still won't give them any chance of victory.

 

See some of the problems? Killing evil not so easy. They dont play fair.

Neither do I.

[Builder]

Thanks Mr Ares. You don't play fair either. Who said war rules apply in Randland when you come from the real life with all the knowledge ut into USB pens that can be attached to your head via ports. Those USB pens would have many terrabytes of storage room. That would be the only hing from the future, mkay?

 

Also even though it takes some time to make airfields and bases it doesn't take years. It doesn't have to be shiny buildings, only simple wooden barracks and only the airfields would be modern-looking.

 

It's easy to win against the Shadow especially because they don't have the know-how to use nukes while your troops (currently in any Shadow trance) do know and they don't hesitate to use them. Well, maybe not nukes but at least napalm missiles.

[Cillian]

The thing is, if the white tower, or the black tower, comes up with a really good team of crazy scientists, they could change the trollocs into nice and really strong vegetarian farmers.

 

How's that? Setting aside of the obvious predisposition on the part of the Black and White Towers to kill Trollocs and ask questions later, how would a group of scientists be able to change a Trolloc's natural disposition? That disposition being bloodlust.

 

Aginor bred the Trollocs. They are genetically predisposed to be evil. Even if the Third Age scientists could match Aginor's knowledge of genetics and the Power and such, how could they hope to factor that into the greater Trolloc population? Hell, how could they hope to factor that into a single Trolloc before it kills them? Even if such a thing was possible on a small scale (which I don't think it is), it's just inconceivable on a large scale.

 

You either kill the Trollocs or they kill you. There is no "bringing them to our side."

 

No no, Trollocs are misunderstood creatures, being forced by the Dark One/Forsaken to do evil when all they really want is a hug!

 

So I am currently training a special team of people (cuddle-troopers), who will dress in bunny outfits, how to hug Trollocs. I will paradrop them behind enemy lines in the Trolloc camps and watch as my cuddle-troopers hug anything in sight with wild abandon.

The Trollolcs will be so delighted to finally get a hug that they will turn on their masters.

 

It's a flawless plan really.

 

[Builder]

Yes and we will all eat cookies while watching Tele-Tubbies forever...

 

Whooho! Stop with these stupid post ok? It gets old very quickly.

[RobertAlexWillis]

Whooho! Stop with these stupid post ok? It gets old very quickly.

 

-looks carefully over Builder's body of work -

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

does anyone have the definition of "cognitive dissonance" handy?

[Builder]

Removed for profanity.

[RobertAlexWillis]

Cognitive dissonance.

 

I should probably feel bad about this; its too easy.  But honestly, I don't ... I wonder what that says about me.

[Builder]

I don't know - maybe that you brain doesn't work correctly. If it doesn't then please leave this thread because you are derailing it.

 

*sigh*

 

[move]Lets get back on topic.[/move]

[RobertAlexWillis]

On topic ...

 

 

I say we send Builder to have a conversation with the Dark One.  Since Shai'tan is the Lord of Paradox, he'll feel threatened for his title, and while the two of them are duking it out, we can use modern rebar reinforced concrete to patch the Bore, and then put a kevlar tablecloth over it, with a lightning rod sticking out of it.  Since the Dark One is an "energy being", he'll try to escape through the lightning rod, and we can shoot him with the EMP disruptor we borrowed from Stargate.

 

Thats gotta work, right?

 

:P

 

Builder.  This isn't a serious topic.  Because we're not talking about something that could ever, much less would ever happen in the books.  Its just something you made up in your head.  So I'm not going to treat it seriously no matter how many times you swear at me.

 

Finally ... your posts in this and other threads are full of ridiculous statements.  So, either:

 

1)You're not always serious. In which case it is hypocritical for you to get angry at others for having fun in what is inherently a non-serious topic.

 

or,

 

2)There is so little distinction between your "serious" responses and your "funny" responses that we can't tell the difference.  In which case I'm just not ever going to take you seriously.

 

And you really should try to tone down the swearing.  It makes me take you even less seriously.  If that is possible ...  ;)