Other 80's Cartoon Franchises Re-Imangined!!

[Myndrunner]

LONG LIVE CAPITALISM!! The 80's were as much about merchandising as this decade is about exploitation! I feel like my childhood is being sold on E-Bay and then RE-IMAGINED by the next young screenwriter to come along. If I could re-imagine my child hood, I would have totally scored with that Shannon chick from my History class and never got my ass kicked in gym class.

 

So anyways, an argument erupted among my fearless peers.... After Hollywood is done with Transformers & G.I. Joe, what sacred 80's Toy/Cartoon franchise would be the next lamb for slaughter? Here is what me and a fifth of So-Co came up with:

 

Voltron: I actually hear this is already in the works, but why not make it a comedy? What if Voltron exists here on planet Earth....in Beverly Hills? Why can't the Black Lion rest underneath the Hollywood Sign? Why not Paris Hilton for the Princess? Koran is played by the fabulous Rip Taylor. Yes, it would be Voltron 90210.  And what the hell happened to Sven? He shows up in the pilot and breaks his leg so the princess can pilot the blue lion?

 

Silverhawks - THE MUSICAL!: Combine the outrageous success of Disney's Merchandizing Juggernaught High School the Musical and set it in an obscure 80's cartoon/toy franchise that is in NO WAY a clone of the Thundercats series. THe main song could be "Silver-Silver-SILVERHAWKS, HO!!!!" It could be a kick ass rock opera with Mumrah...er, I mean MONSTAR played by Rocky Horror Tim Curry. THe soundtrack will include the surefire hits "It's not proper being Copper" and "Tallyhawks and Tallywackers!" Terry Gilliam to direct.

 

M.A.S.K. - Billionare NAMBLA member Matt Tracker assembles a mystery team of helmet polishing knob hobbers who spell Command with the letter 'K'. Brian Cox is the obvious choice for Miles Mayhem, but why not complete the exploitation... remake the NASCAR-ish story line to really piss off the fans. Buddy "CLUTCH" Hawks could be played by Corey Feldman. Bruce "Stereotype" Soto could be played by Dat Phan, Dusty "Whee-Doggie" Hayes played by that guy from the OC, and Hondo "Token" MaClean played by Tracy Morgan. The coolest character with the gayest mask Brad "Hocus-Pocus" Turner will be played by James Marsden while potential lesbian Gloria "no makeup" Baker could be played by that chick from Wedding Crashers. No, the other one. Grab some snotty kid actor from the Disney channel to play Tracker's meddling son Scott and give him a cool transforming motor-scooter who talks like C-3P0. Wachowski Brothers to direct.

 

Thundercats: With good CGI, Ryan Reynolds leads the feline force as Lion-O, not to be confused with Steve-0 (JackassCats would be sweet, though!). That Snarf thing would need to be CGI, and voiced by Bobcat Gothweight.  Scarlett Johansen as Cheetara and the guy from House should play Mumra! 

 

Danger Mouse - So, in the PIXAR/DREAMWORKS/DISNEY battle, we learned that Rats like to cook, Chipmunks sell out, and sometimes boy cows with male voices have udders (see Barnyard). What about the greatest secret agent in the world and his trusty sidekick? Voice actors should include Eddie Izzard, Eric Idle, John Cleese (as Colonel K), Terry Gilliam, and Michael Palin.

 

Go-BOts - Why can't the K-Mart Transformers get some of the limelight? Instead of Michael Bay we will go with Tim Burton to helm this one. Johnny Depp will voice Cy-Kill and Helena Bonham Carter will play that one car who looked like a dude in drag when it transformed. Who cares who plays the rest?

 

JEM - Miley Cirrus plays a normal girl who transforms into a pop star sensation who then.... oh wait, nevermind.

 

Centurions - Never had this much fun with Strap-Ons. I know I had the toys for this, but I don't really remember the show all that much. THere was a sky guy (ACe?), the sea guy (Max), and the land guy (Rocky ?). THey had these two fugly cyborg guys chasing them all the time. Dunno bout this one....any ideas?

 

Are there any others that I might have missed? What are your thoughts?

 

-Myndrunner

The Wandering Gleeman

 

[reyler]

In the spirit of cynicism, then?

 

How about getting Dino-Riders up there on the silver screen? I mean, you've got dinosaurs, spaceships, laser blasts and explosions, hot chicks (well there was only one chick, and she wasn't that hot, but in lieu of any sort of a character we'll just put Megan Fox in a catsuit and have her vogue a bit) - this is practically tailor-made for a summer blockbuster. And for director, hm... any music video directors that haven't made the jump to movies yet?

[Myndrunner]

You would think that Dino_Riders would have been BIG TIME.  I'll bet the creative team meeting went something like this:

 

[translated from original Japanese]

 

Toshi: "Ah-so, what do kids like?"

 

Tanaka: "Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi!!"

 

Toshi: "No, thats middle aged business men....I mean, kids."

 

*Tanaka pouts*

 

Soni: "Robots!"

 

Hiroshi: "Dinosaurs!"

 

Sakuma: "Space Ships!"

 

Tanaka: "Ninjas!"

 

Sakuma: "Space Ninjas!"

 

Toshi: "AH! I've got it......DINO ROBOTS!!"

 

Hiroshi: "But, don't the Transformers have the Dino Bots?"

 

Toshi: "NO, Hiroshi! These are no Dino Bots.....these are DINO RIDERS!!!"

 

Sakuma: "Oooooooh!  And we will have space ninjas who command them?"

 

Tosi: "Ahhhh, so!  Space Ninjas! Yes, Yes!"

 

Hiroshi: "We will make a lot of yen, Hitatchi!"

 

Hitachi: *smoking a cigar* "Yes, we will! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

Anyways, I think it went something like that.  Little Jon can direct Dino-Riders.  You could put Megan Fox in According to Jim - The Movie and it would be a success.  MEOW!

 

-Mynd

[ironcross]

how bout smerfs, she-ra, and he-man.  i know they did a remake of them a while ago  (zena and herc) but hey they couldent do them any worse could they.

 

 

mynd i think you and me might have the same point of view on the current lack of talent out there in hollywood.

[SinisterDeath]

I thought I did read something about a he-man movie comeing out again...

Lets just pray not another beast master!

 

Why can't hollywood, develop a movie thats... you know, orginal?

[Myndrunner]

You hear they are remaking the Seven Samauri?  Unbelievable.....

 

-Myndrunner

The Wandering Gleeman

[Floating]

JEM - Miley Cirrus plays a normal girl who transforms into a pop star sensation who then.... oh wait, nevermind.

 

*lol*  I made this exact joke last week.

:D

[Myndrunner]

Is anyone else sick of Miley Cyrus?

[DPR]

 

I got stuck on Meggan Fox in a catsuit, vogueing.....

[reyler]

Which part got stuck, Wes?  :D

[Myndrunner]

Megan in anything would work.....or nothing at all!

[Guest Stefania Sedai]

*goes to Google Megan Fox, cause she has no idea who that is*

[Silver]

lol same. Though once I did I remembered her from Transformers. Hot lady :D

[Myndrunner]

I think Megan would make a great Lanfear!

[Majsju]

::)

[reyler]

Megan Fox is a set of boobs and not much else. But apparently being a set of boobs is enough to get you a job in Hollywood. *sigh*

[Silver]

Not just boobs, great body and beautiful face as well. ;)

[Majsju]

To me her face looks like a cheap knock-off of Angelina Jolie, and I am not too impressed by the original.

[reyler]

My point was that she's hot which apparently voids any requirement for her to have any acting ability to speak of.

[Myndrunner]

I'm pretty sure she can act....I mean, she was great in.....um........whatsitcalled.....

 

....oh yeah, Two and a Half Men! She played a girl sunbathing and she did great!