The DragonMount Mafia Roast of Verbal32

[Darthe]

Welcome one and all to the first ever Dragonmount Mafia Roast! Our special guest tonight is Verbal32, an "admin" known most prolifically for not updating this forum since 2004. Don't let that fool you however, he is bad at way more than forum management. He can also not settle player disputes, forget that we exist for weeks at a time, and rumor has it that he was once caught creating our current ISO feature.

 

Its not all bad though folks. Verb has been recognized as the player with the most games under his belt based on this statistic I just made up. He also has the most posts on the forum, with a whopping 230k and rising, which if you average it out means he mathematically has no life.

 

Speaking of life, Verbs birth certificate dates him to year 4, B.C. thats right, his birth stone actually is lava. Cause he's old. Get it? Old. Guy? Birthstone? Lava..

 

Norm McDonald sucks to read. In any case, Verb does truly deserve our thanks. He was the first DM player to represent us in a champions game and we even got invited back after! He has been a steady and reliable moderator, friend, and lover to many of us in our time here and tonight is all about him.

 

Let the roast begin!

[Verbal32]

lol

 

Can somebody who doesn't suck at roasting come in here and try their hand, please?

 

I really want Nyn for this.  I'm actually scared she might make me run away crying.

[Darthe]

[Clovdyx]

I was going to look up specific games where he's failed so I could make fun of him, but let's be honest - that's most of them, and that's far more effort than I care to put into it (hey!  something Verb and I have in common!).

 

I'm not sure which of Verb's mafia moments is his best, because I'm not sure Verbal has mafia moments.  I'm pretty sure his post count has remained the same in the two years I've been here.  If I had to pick my favorite moment, it was probably him correctly voting mafia at the last possible second of the champ's finals and getting murdered anyway.  That's not my favorite because he lost; I could point to hundreds of games and get THAT outcome.  It's my favorite because I'm a fan of irony.  Case in point: rep for a site about the Jets fails miserably, and here I thought Verbal's mafia career crashed years ago.

 

He was also a carebear.  Sitting in a corner, colored blue, bawling his eyes out.  Same for his role in the game.  There's another joke I want to make about Verbal and blue/bawling, but I'm not sure it's PG-13, so I'll just leave it as "well, it must be Tuesday."

 

Beyond that, I actually really like Verb.  They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, right?  Well, I've taken after his moderating style on my other sites - I disappear for weeks at a time and just coast on reputation.  That's not a knock on the guy; that's sheer respect.  Think about all of the problems DragonMount has, and remember, that's without Verbal posting.  You don't fix a broken leg with a bullet to the head.

[Darthe]

Bravo!

[Andrej]

[Andrej]

I'll never forget the first time that I saw Verbal. I was visiting my grandpa at his retirement home, and while we were sitting together at a table he pointed to this strangely small and furry person on a nearby sofa. I'll never forget what he told me. "Stay away from that guy. He's a weirdo."

 

There is an infinite amount of wonderful words that could describe Verb as a person. Creepy. Lazy. Hairy. Old. Those are just a few, but some of my personal favorites.

 

Over the years I have played many Mafia games with Verbal. I have to give it to the guy, for as terrible as he is he's really stuck it out for the long haul. My favorite thing when playing in a game with him is first watching him make awful reads, and secondly, when he dies so I no longer have to suffer through anymore dumb Spider Man memes.

 

But seriously, he deserves our thanks. Without Verbal our happy little world of book nerds would probably not exist nor would our melting pot of Mafia players. We owe that to him and I am thankful that he continues to serve as a reminder of just how far we've come.

[Hallia]

I can recall the first time I met Verbal in person.  It was a happy day at Disneyland until I felt a weight upon my back.

 

 

At first I was horrified.  What was this creepy little Ewok doing humping my back?  

 

Ever since, I've had to deal with him.  You know, reigning over us in a tyrannical fashion.  And let's not talk about when he actually forces himself upon us as a player  

 

(I love you Verbal.  You're the bomb.)

[Clovdyx]

I can recall the first time I met Verbal in person.  It was a happy day at Disneyland until I felt a weight upon my back.

 

 

At first I was horrified.  What was this creepy little Ewok doing humping my back?  

 

Ever since, I've had to deal with him.  You know, reigning over us in a tyrannical fashion.  And let's not talk about when he actually forces himself upon us as a player  

 

(I love you Verbal.  You're the bomb.)

 

I'm not sure that's not the closest Verbal's ever gotten to a girl.

[Darthe]

Save it for the roast of hallia

[Pralaya]

Rumor has it that when Verbal played his first mafia game, things got so bad that it started a chain reaction and led to the extinction of dinosaurs.

[Verbal32]

I was going to look up specific games where he's failed so I could make fun of him, but let's be honest - that's most of them, and that's far more effort than I care to put into it (hey!  something Verb and I have in common!).

 

I'm not sure which of Verb's mafia moments is his best, because I'm not sure Verbal has mafia moments.  I'm pretty sure his post count has remained the same in the two years I've been here.  If I had to pick my favorite moment, it was probably him correctly voting mafia at the last possible second of the champ's finals and getting murdered anyway.  That's not my favorite because he lost; I could point to hundreds of games and get THAT outcome.  It's my favorite because I'm a fan of irony.  Case in point: rep for a site about the Jets fails miserably, and here I thought Verbal's mafia career crashed years ago.

 

He was also a carebear.  Sitting in a corner, colored blue, bawling his eyes out.  Same for his role in the game.  There's another joke I want to make about Verbal and blue/bawling, but I'm not sure it's PG-13, so I'll just leave it as "well, it must be Tuesday."

 

Beyond that, I actually really like Verb.  They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, right?  Well, I've taken after his moderating style on my other sites - I disappear for weeks at a time and just coast on reputation.  That's not a knock on the guy; that's sheer respect.  Think about all of the problems DragonMount has, and remember, that's without Verbal posting.  You don't fix a broken leg with a bullet to the head.

 

Now THAT is how it's done.  Pretty amazingly accurate, too.