Corrupt a Wish

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but you were the one who killed him so you get arrested.

 

I wish to hug a fluffy cat (that has been declawed and trained not to bite)

[Shadar Alantin]

Granted but it crushes you in it grip. (This is assuming a big fluffy cat.)

 

I wish bananas were the only source of food.

[Panchi]

Granted. But you are allergic to them.

 

I wish I didn't have to clean my room

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted but then your room starts to smell bad because of the moldy sandwiches hiding under your bed and in your closet.

 

I wish I had an A in Algebra 2.

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, but it is because you study so hard in Algebra 2 that you fail out of all your other classes and become a destitute homeless person.

 

I wish my headache would go away

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted but it is replaced by a stomachache.

 

I wish for some pasta.

[Panchi]

Granted. But it has bananas in it.

 

I wish leopard hadn't come into my city.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but a tiger came in instead.

 

I wish for a non-poisonous peach.

[Zhon]

Granted.  It's rotten instead.

 

 

I wish the year was two weeks longer.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but in those last 2 weeks every possible bad thing that could happen to you happens.

 

I wish I didn't have to take tests in school this week.

[Nikonis]

Granted but after this week you have a month of non-stop tests

I wish for the ability to fluently speak old tongue.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted but that is the only language you can speak so nobody has a clue on what you are saying.

 

I wish all bananas were balefired.

[Panchi]

Granted. But it all other fruits turn to banana and are balefire resistant.

 

I wish I wasn't sick

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, you never get sick or age again.  You live forever and eternally curse the fact that all your friends and family die before your eyes and you become so bitter and jaded you can never experience love or happiness again.  As time continues on eternal, your only happiness lies in trying to make clever internet puns.

 

I wish I was back in Arizona right now.

[Panchi]

Granted. But it has been destroyed.

 

I wish I didn't hate chocolate

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, you love it intensely.  So intensely that you forget all other human connections and file for a marriage license between you and your favorite Lindt chocolate bar.  Unfortunately, the night before your wedding you are caught eating a Hershey's chocolate bar and Lindt cancels the wedding.  You live the rest of your life in shame, eating other chocolate bars while dreaming of what you once had with Lindt. 

 

I wish everyone had 7 fingers.  Except Chaelca, who still only has 5.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but it turns out that it is easier for a 5 fingered hand to hold a sword, so Chaelca stabs you.

 

I wish bananas were illegal.

[Zhon]

Granted.  Bananas become an international smuggling operation due to their illegal status, people fight over them constantly, and it reaches the point where the banana trade controls the nation's entire economy while giving prohibition a great big salute.

 

 

I wish human beings only needed around 4 hours of sleep a day instead of 8.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but then you have longer school hours.

 

I wish I could ace all my tests

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, your parents and teachers move you back to kindergarten and you wow the teachers by showing them you know you colors and can take a nap.

 

I wish protein bars tasted better.

[Nikonis]

Granted, they now taste 0.5% better and are the only things you may ever eat.

 

I wish for a penny

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, you now have a daughter named Penny who you'll be taking care of for the next 18 years.  And then you find out when she is 18 that not only is she not your kid, she is actually a robot.  Who self-destructs upon learning of her own robot nature.

 

I wish I could more clearly remember things that happened when I was 0-4 yrs old.

[Zhon]

Granted, but you lose all memory of the last four years to make space for those earlier recollections.  Anything you learned/experienced in this period of time is now gone.

 

 

I wish I could manipulate the emotions of others without them being able to realize what I am doing.

[dawnflower8]

Wish granted, but people find out and you get in huge trouble.

 

I wish for a rainbow dragon that breathes balefire.

[Tyler Glembo]

Granted, the dragon instantly comes to life and balefires you.  Your actions unravel such that you never wished for that dragon in the first place and you come back to existence.  But now that you are back you wish for the dragon and it balefires you.  But then the pattern unravels even more and you come back since you didn't exist to wish for the dragon.  But then you wish for the dragon.  But then it balefires you and the pattern unravels even more.  You continue to be stuck in this paradox until the fabric of spacetime shreds completely and you've destroyed all of the universe.

 

I wish someone else would shovel snow for me.