Anyone fancy a game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket?

[BFG]

*Walks in with a cricket bat slung casually over one shoulder.*

 

Does anyone fancy a game?

 

 

(from HGttG)

 

Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.

Rule Two: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player. Clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.

Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.

The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life- affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.

Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the wall for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.

Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a "hit" on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.

Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.

Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.



Curiously enough, the more the obsession with the game grows in the higher dimensions, the less it is actually played, since most of the competing teams are now in a state of permanent warfare with each other over the interpretation of these rules. This is all for the best, because in the long run a good solid war is less psychologically damaging than a protracted game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.

 

http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Brockian_Ultra-Cricket

 

 

 

Suggest we treat it as a brawl, so any exalted leaders that want to join in can do so...

[Starrik]

*hits BFG with a cricket bat, and runs off to find a megaphone*

[Andrej]

*saunters in with a broken off fishing pole, intent to use it like a switch*

 

I'm game

[dicetosser1]

grabs a cricket ball   shines it on Starrys white pants    bowls a screaming Bodyline Bouncer at BFG

[BFG]

*Rubs head, while tugging braid and glaring thousand deaths at Starry*

 

*stands ready and hits the cricket ball back into Dices face, then follows up by whacking him round the back with the cricket bat*

 

*Runs to a safe distance*

 

So sorry old chap!

[Starrik]

Many apologies BFG!

*fires crockery through a low powered cannon at Dice*

Oh right, the rules.... this sport is new....

[dicetosser1]

luckily dice has quick reflexes and catches the ball before it hits him

 

he does however get hit by the bat which he grabs and uses to tug BFG in the way of starriks cannon shot

[BFG]

*lets go of the bat, thus avoiding Starry's canon shot*

 

*Runs and picks up a golf club, then takes a swing at Starry's legs*

 

I do apologise for any inconvenience

[Andrej]

*finds himself in the middle of mayhem*

 

I see you guys started without me!

 

*begins flailing about with his makeshift switch(fishing pole)*

[BFG]

*dodges a switch*

 

Watch it there bro :)

[Andrej]

Right back atcha, sis

 

*chases the wookiee with his switch*

[Starrik]

*flees from the Archer*

Wait- no! I am a warrior of Bacca! I do not flee!

*charges AJ with a baseball bat*

[Andrej]

 

I, however, am not!

 

*turns tail and runs from the charging Wookie*

[BFG]

*lines up a troop of stormtroopers*

 

[Nyanna al'Meara]

*thwacks the nearest Bander with a pair of football shinguards tied to a skipping rope*

 

 

*runs for dear life screeching* SOOWWWYYY XD

[BFG]

Watches Dices expression change from Nyns excellent improvised weapon

[Andrej]

*trips the fleeing Nya with a hockey stick*

 

Sorry!!

[BFG]

*"Borrows" AJs hockey stick and thraps Dice around the stomach.*

 

Sorry, sorry....

[MattheHat]

*arrives dramatically and throws Hat frisbee-boomerang-like at the brawlers*

 

Terribly sorry!

[BFG]

*Uses hockey stick to thrack Mat around the ears*

 

Brawlers????  I'll have you know that this is the honourable game of Brockian Ultra Cricket and there for we are BUCers

 

And, sorry