Funniest WoT Quotes

[gloweye]

' You may call me Rand Sedai'

 

Still one of the best...

[wottomc]

Surprised nobody mentioned Mat's letter to Elayne after being kept waiting outside Camlyn. So funny so Mat.

I also agree with Rand/Mat/Perrin views on handling women.

[Darksister]

“Whenever a woman is wrong she finds so many ways to blame it on the nearest man,the poor fellow winds up thinking maybe he really is at fault“ . “Its one of the things men are for,taking the blame. They usually deserve it even if you dont know exactly how“ Min‘s first impression of cadsuane as “the woman had eyes that seemed to know things about you yhat you yourself had forgotten“

[Darksister]

Aaand thinking of others. . . AHA! “Offer to help a woman and the next thing you know she has you scaling a sheer cliff in the middle of the night to break fifty people out of a dungeon by yourself“ (obviously Mat) And when Bashere said to Rand “half the faces in the room belong to men who would hold their tongues if the saw a fellow behind you with a knife. The other half to men who‘d try to hold your attention. That is if the hadn‘t paid the man in the first place.“ And Basel Gill‘s description of Lini-“that woman was born in far madding in a thunderstorm. She probably told the thunder to be quiet. It probably did.“

[Darksister]

Anytime mat is describing somebody,especially leilwin shipless, leaves me choking with laughter! And the maidens giving Rand a bath? Hilarious!

[MashiraSedai]

Ooh yes, I thought the maidens bathing Rand was hilarious as well

[The Fisher King]

Thom, coming up on Moiraine Damodred in his room, thinking immediately to himself:

 

'Now THATS a fine-looking woman!'

 

Then, a second later, chiding himself:

 

'Fool! Fool! Shes Aes Sedai and you're too tired to think straight!'

 

...LoL

 

 

Fish

[MatsLuck]

I think RJ's humor was at its best when subtle, and often tongue in cheek. A few of my faves...

 

Perrin after meeting Faile: "Once again he considered tossing her over the side. Seriously, this time." TDR

 

And a little later, "He lifted two onto his plate with the serving fork, and grinned at Zarine around a mouthful."..."Eat your nasty fish, falcon, he thought." TDR

 

From Rand's POV I believe, not sure what book: "All women are Aes Sedai"

 

Rand's first meeting with Berelain: "It left her smooth shoulders completely bare, and exposed a considerable expanse of pale bosom. He found himself wondering distantly what held it up." TSR

 

"Part of him wanted to tell her to put on a cloak, too. A thick cloak. Part of him did." TSR

 

Thom Merrilin on the majhere of the Stone: "Horrible woman, he thought. If we had turned her loose on the Trollocs, she'd have had them all sweeping and mopping." TSR

 

Mat to Moiraine: "'I do read sometimes...Treasures. Dealings. Lots of things in books.' Luckily, she did not insist that he repeat the titles; he had not paid attention once Rand brought up books." TSR

 

Rand's POV observation that he supposed Mat must have read a book sometime. Not sure where that one is found.

 

Rand: "'I am not mad,' he said to the empty room." aCoS

 

Setalle Anan to Nynaeve and Elayne: "'I doubt I've ever seen so much foolishness poured into just two dresses.'" aCoS

 

Queen Tylin to Mat: "'If that is part of what being ta'veren means, you must be very popular.'" aCoS

 

Perrin and Egwene: "'Advice! Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are.'

'That,' Egwene said, 'is probably why you make such a bad job of it.'" TEotW

 

Nynaeve observing that Elayne always looking pretty no matter the circumstances was "a secret the Aes Sedai should investigate." Not sure what book maybe LoC

 

There are so many more.

[305]

I forget what book but Tom says "The difference between men and women. A man can forget it but never forgives a woman can forgive but never forgets". I dont know why that line stuck with me.

[kragar]

One of my favorites was about cats teaching curiosity, but keeping sense for themselves, I don't remember the exact wording.

[wottomc]

Who can forget Juilian's performance on the high wire pretending to be drunk. Fooled me.

[Daruya]

On of my all-time favorites, I think: "I dare the truth, Elaida," Egwene said quietly. "you are a coward and a tyrant. I'd name you Darkfriend as well, but I suspect that the Dark One would perhaps be embarrassed to associate with you." TGS

 

Oh, and this one by Mat: "...They could put up a warning sign or something. Hello. Welcome to Hindstrap. We will murder you in the night and eat your bloody face if you stay past sunset. Try the pies. Martna Maily makes them fresh daily." TGS

[michellem]

One of my favorites was about cats teaching curiosity, but keeping sense for themselves, I don't remember the exact wording.

 

I think it's something like "Cats teach men curiosity, but keep sense to themself"

[The Fisher King]

I don't know if this counts as a funny QUOTE more than it does a funny MOMENT, but it cracks me up all the same. I'm talking about the running gag early in the series of Mat dropping things everytime he heard something shocking, lol.

 

In book 1 he drops the goblet when Rand says that Mordeth didn't have a shadow...then, in book 2, Mat dropping the eggs (he was juggling) when Perrin reveals that Rand can Channel.

 

 

Fish

[ShowMeYourRage]

"Do I look like I need saving?"

[The Fisher King]

In either book 4 or book 5 when Mat had just schooled the Aiel at a game of dagger-throwing with his spooky skill and luck and - having thoroughly freaked them out - they tell him "Some time again, perhaps, maybe, some day, Matrim Cauthon."

 

And Mat thinks to himself that that is basically the Aiel way of saying "No way in Hell" of ever hanging out again.

 

LoL

 

 

Fish

[The Fisher King]

This one isn't really a quote - more of a funny situation, but I found it hysterical in book 2 when Rand had no idea what he was doing or saying at that party of the nobility but his cluelessnes and blunt honesty had everyone convinced that he was mysterious and formidable.

 

 

Fish

[The Fisher King]

"For enough gold, Valan Luca would help kidnap the Dark One."

 

 

Fish

[Suttree]

"For enough gold, Valan Luca would help kidnap the Dark One."

 

 

Fish

 

I am certain Felix/Dida has a theory on that...

[MatsLuck]

"Mat slipped back and left them to it. The general who leads in the front of battle is a fool. That came from one of those old memories, a quote from somebody whose name was not part of the memory. A man could get killed in there. That was pure Mat Cauthon." LoC

Edited March 21, 2012 by MatsLuck

[Zjossy]

"You've nothing to fear from me, Amylia Sedai," he told her. "It's been a long time since I ate anyone for breakfast."

-KoD, Logain

 

Ta'veren. Ridiculous. These people and their endless superstitions! A small brown bird, surely a finch, flew out of a tall oak tree and circled wid-dershins three times above Toy's head before flying on. She had found her omen.

-KoD, Tuon

Edited March 21, 2012 by Zjossy

[michellem]

ToM, A terrible feeling:

 

"Because we were friends", Aliiandre said. "After all we went trough together, it turns out she's Morgase Trakand. Not just a Queen - the Queen. The woman's a legend. And she was here, with us, serving us tea. Poorly!"

"You have to admit", Faile said thoughtfully, "she did get better with the tea."

[Maleshub]

Perrin's meeting with Mat and Thom in ToM:

 

"Ho, Grady," Mat said, waving. "Blown up anyone interesting lately?"

The tanned Asha'man frowned, looking to Perrin. "My Lord. Lady Faile asked me to remind you when midnight arrived."

Mat whistled. "See, this is why I left my wife in another kingdom."

[The Fisher King]

Right after Elayne ask Avi if Rand was ok.

 

"He is well. I will chop off his ears if anything happens to him."

 

 

Fish

[muddasssir]

Right after Elayne ask Avi if Rand was ok.

 

"He is well. I will chop off his ears if anything happens to him."

 

 

Fish

 

That i do not remember where was it?