Couldn't Resist

[mmeeshal]

You guys probably won't laugh at any of these, but I sure am.  These made me laugh so hard.... :D

 

If you don't find them funny, just take it as a learning experience--you know some new things about Iowa now! ;)

 

Only an Iowan would laugh at this one!!!!!

This is so true..........

Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowan if.............

 

-You've never met any celebrities...and you don't really care.  (kinda)

 

-Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. (CHECK)

 

-"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland. (*giggles*)

 

-You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular. (I haven't, but people I know...)

 

-You measure distance in minutes. (GUILTY AS CHARGED ;D)

 

-Down south to you means Missouri.  (Yeah, pretty much)

 

-You know several people who have hit a deer. (Most people I know have, actually >.>)

 

-You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines.  ;D

 

-You know the answer to the question "Is this Heaven?" (yeah...)

 

-Your school classes were canceled because of cold. (Yeah right. Like they'd seriously cancel because of below-zero temps; I have another one about that. :P)

 

-Your school classes were canceled because of heat. (YES)

 

-You know what "Hawks, Panthers, and Clones" are.  (Most definitely)

 

-You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.  (I never had to, but I did once when I went home with a friend)

 

-You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better".

 

-You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.  (::))

 

-Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.  (der.)

 

-You see a car running in the parking lot at the Quick Stop with no one in it no matter what time of the year.  (yuppers!)

 

-You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" (YUP! :D)

 

-All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal. (I wouldn't know)

 

-You can locate Iowa on the US map.  (and a few of its counties, too! :D)

 

-Detasseling was your first job or that of a brother or sister. (my brother's first job)

 

-You've been on a "Geode Hunt". Nah

 

-Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice. (meh)

 

-You learn your pickup will run without a muffler.  (our van did too >:D)

 

-You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (we haven't done that, but a lot of people I know...)

 

-When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different". (nah)

 

-You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor. (*rolls on the floor laughing* So true...)

 

-People from other states love to hear you say Iowa and other words with "Os" in them. (not sure why...)

 

-You carry jumper cables in your car.  (and why WOULDN'T you?)

 

-You drink "pop". (yessiree!)

 

-You know what the numbers 80, 35, 280 and 380 mean. (yup)

 

-You know what "cow chips" are.  (I think you'd have to be pretty dumb not to know that one, really)

 

-You actually understand these statements and pass them on to all your Iowa friends.  (*grins*)

[mmeeshal]

Here are 10 things to ponder as you shiver through another day in Iowa's Endless Winter:

 

1. The good news - no mosquitoes!

 

2. If you can still see your breath, you haven't frozen to death.

 

3. It has never snowed in Iowa in June. That's only a little more than three months away.

 

4. You can probably get a good deal on an air conditioner.

 

5. Nobody cares how funny you look while tiptoeing on an ice-glazed sidewalk, because they are too worried about falling themselves. And big, furry, hairstyle-destroying hats are fashionable.

 

6. Ice fills the potholes.

 

7. If the electricity goes out, your frozen foods will likely remain frozen.

 

8. Scraping an ice-covered windshield makes you feel superior to all those people who wimped out and built garages.

 

9. The Iowa Cubs home opener is April 3, a mere 41 days away.

 

10. What? You'd rather be mowing?

[el Nynaeve]

What on earth is detasseling? :P

 

I do the jumper cables thing too, only I call them jump leads.

[Toy and Minion]

in that first one, I'm guilty of about half.  Maybe more. :D

 

Utah aint that much different than Iowa, other than the whether and we're not as far behind the times as you. :P

 

Unfortunately, we ARE losing a lot of farmland in order to "industrialize" lately. :( 

[mmeeshal]

Detasseling:

Detasseling is the act of removing the pollen-producing tassel from a corn (maize) plant and placing it on the ground. Detasseling is done to cross-breed, or hybridize, two different varieties of corn. Fields of corn that will be detasseled are planted with two varieties of corn. By removing the tassels from all plants of one variety, all the grain growing on those plants will be fertilized by the other variety's tassels. In addition to being more physically uniform, hybrid corn produces dramatically higher yields than corn produced by open pollination. With modern seed corn the varieties to hybridize are carefully selected so that the new variety will exhibit specific traits found in the parent plants. The detasseling process typically involves the use of specialized machines and human labor.

 

;)

 

 

Nice to know we Iowegians ain't the only ones out here who know about them there things on that list! :D

But don't mind me, I'm jest a backward country bumpkin, y'know? ;) :P

 

That sucks; what kind of "industrialization" is going on?  I can't imagine seeing Iowa losing enough of its farms to actually be noticeable.  That would be....  It wouldn't be Iowa anymore.  I actually like living in an urban environment with a heavy rural/farming influence.

[el Nynaeve]

Ah, i get now. :D

[mmeeshal]

*hands Ell a certificate that says "Corn School Graduate"*

 

:P

[el Nynaeve]

*hangs up certificate next to her degree* :D

[Talya]

Now I like that word... 'Iowegians'

 

;D

 

And I have learned something about detasseling... >.>

[mmeeshal]

What they DON'T tell you is that it's VERY hot work, and they have supervisors that provide transport to and from the fields, keep you supplied with water, and train you.

 

It's miserable work, I hear, but you make good friends and the pay is REALLY GOOD. ;)

[LedZepMan]

SO yeah, I know most about what you are talking about lol. hehe. I paid over ten thousand for a truck, then the next day I took a saw to the exhaust, right below the catalytic converter.

[Talya]

err...why?

[bad company]

Beats me, not a car man

[mmeeshal]

Yeah, I have no clue either.

[bad company]

Hands up who does?

[mmeeshal]

*sits on her hands*

[LedZepMan]

So it would be louder and just plain sexier. Like me  ;D, that and mufflers just suck. Gotta go with some high end exhaust for that purr

[Talya]

I know I'm plain sexier than you Led, how nice of you to say it ;D

[LedZepMan]

You said it...........

[Talya]

I know know, ans you better agree ;)

[LedZepMan]

ok, but only under penalty of torture..........

[el Nynaeve]

Zep, you're a muppet sometimes. I hate the sound of sawn off exhausts. :P

[LedZepMan]

lol, neither am I anymore, ya got to put some special exhaust on now, or it sounds like poopie.

 

Put some flowmasters or something on there

[Talya]

You're4 just a bot racer really, aren't you?

[el Nynaeve]

He sounds like one. :D