I HAVE A NEW THEORY GAISE!

[Roxinos]

...That explains a lot about your near mind-bogglingly difficult to follow speculative arguments. ;)

[spothistto]

Lan is actually Shaidar Haran in disguise, riding towards the Cap to lead the Shadow. Only Ny screwed him over, when she dropped him at wrong side of the world.

[Builder]

yEAH, I AM THE DO IN DISGUISE! SUE ME :)

 

I think we might be surprised when we find out that Min and Avi were trying to take over the Aiel, but phailed because Cadsuane and Berelain interveened just in the right time at the Battle of Dumai's Wells.

[nnokwoodeye]

I think we might be surprised when we find out that Min and Avi were trying to take over the Aiel, but phailed because Cadsuane and Berelain interveened just in the right time at the Battle of Dumai's Wells.

 

I though Avi and Min were both Narg reborn. I mean Narg was clearly interested in rand, why else would he introduce himself?

[Jethro]

But nobody noticed that the first Grolm we saw was Elayne, Min, Faile AND Perrin, when theyve taken their masks off. Yes, they mold into one when they take their masks off. When they try to put the masks back on, it can have dire consequences UNLESS all four masks are put on at the exact same instant.

[Mr Ares]

I think we're starting to get a good grasp on the series now. To summarise: Narg fancies Rand, Perrin is a horse (although a female one, so being hung like a horse is, in this instance, not much of a compliment), and also an evil god, Mat is Tuon is Thom is Moiraine (they're all one person, but with a selection of wigs), Asmo only exists some of the time, Ishamael is Rand's (adopted) mother, Elayne is Rand's birth mother (due to time travel, she went back and killed the real Tigraine by accident, then had to pose as her and eventually took her role), Morgase is actually Elayne's daughter as well as her mother (also due to time travel), Siuan is thought of as the ugly duckling, but is actually an import from another story (she's really Lord Fowl....yup, I really did use that pun), RAW is the Creator, presumably Luckers is Shai'tan in that case (while still also being Perrin), with all this time travel someones granddad is in for a bad day, Faile and Berelain have been seeing each other behind Perrin's back (I'll be in my bunk...), but Perrin doesn't mind because he's been seeing Galgan, which makes Galgan's ex Rodel Ituralde jealous, hence the attacks on the Seanchan, Cadsuane is Verin, Verin is Cadsuane, Vader is Luke's father, Soylent Green is people, Verbal is Keyser Soze and Robert's your father's brother. Which leaves me with only one question: Who am I?

[Builder]

YOU ARE YOUR MOM MR. ARES!!

[Mr Ares]

You are your mother, Mr Ares!!

That doesn't sound at all likely. Now you're just being silly.

[spothistto]

If you really think about it...it's not that silly.

[ROB_88]

it's far to silly.

silly, silly silly. can't have it

oh, and NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

[Jethro]

Does anyone else think that Rand has aids?

[spothistto]

Lanfear - Lan fear.

When something freaks Lan out, he turns into Lanfear. That means Lanfear is Shaidar Haran, who is the hand of the dark, which means Nynaeva is Rand and he has AIDS.

 

And that means Eleyne, Min and Aviendha has aids and who knows who else they have given it. This is a secret plot by DO...Dark one is AIDS, and the last battle will be figuring out a cure for AIDS. Good luck...

[Jethro]

Rand has aids, Moridin is a leper (which also means Pips, Cadsuane, and my dad are) and Perrin is blind and has had half his face chopped off by Failes nose.

[Builder]

LISTEN!

 

Rand can't have AIDS without having the aid of cancer, can he?

[spothistto]

The voice in his head has cancer.

[Jethro]

And its actually the never-healing wounds in Rands side that will win the Last Battle, not Rand himself.

 

Phew! All this thinking is HARD! I need to take my mind off it for a minute. Anyone fancy a game of stoned? Uh... erm... I mean stones.

[Builder]

Jethro just made an astounding discovery gaise!

 

Seriously though, I think Thom has been stone all this time. Loial and that little kid must have been way up in the skies throughout the series man!

[nnokwoodeye]

I just had a thought. What are the chances that tam is actually rand father?  :o

[Cillian]

I just had a thought. What are the chances that tam is actually rand father?  :o

 

Well since it's 3am and yesterday was a wednesday, Perrin and Bela both have legs and Mat is riding a donkey to the market, I'd say it's not un-laughable to suggest that Tam may indeed be Rand's father. But only of course if you say that on a sunny Thursday.

 

Now I wonder what significance of Elayne dancing with a Kangaroo is.....

[Jethro]

Now I wonder what significance of Elayne dancing with a Kangaroo is.....

 

In AMoL she will stand on its foot while dancing, it kicks her in the stomach and she loses her sprogs. And it turns out that the Kangaroo was the Creator (hence the capital K, see? it fits) and that Elaynes kids-twins, a boy and a girl-would have been Shaitans fathers if they were allowed to be born.

[nnokwoodeye]

Now I wonder what significance of Elayne dancing with a Kangaroo is.....

 

In AMoL she will stand on its foot while dancing, it kicks her in the stomach and she loses her sprogs. And it turns out that the Kangaroo was the Creator (hence the capital K, see? it fits) and that Elaynes kids-twins, a boy and a girl-would have been Shaitans fathers if they were allowed to be born.

 

Would that be before or after she would become Morgase mother (and daughter, due to time travel)?

[spothistto]

In both cases.

[Jethro]

It would be before and after, AND at the same time, because she will cross balefires with both her kids resulting in a void in the Pattern. Thats why Elaynes son and daughter are both Shaitans dads even though he was there before they were born.

 

Can anyone figure out who Shaitans mother(s) are? And does anyone have any theory on what Elaynes kids will be called?

 

[metria31183]

Now I wonder what significance of Elayne dancing with a Kangaroo is.....

 

In AMoL she will stand on its foot while dancing, it kicks her in the stomach and she loses her sprogs. And it turns out that the Kangaroo was the Creator (hence the capital K, see? it fits) and that Elaynes kids-twins, a boy and a girl-would have been Shaitans fathers if they were allowed to be born.

 

Wow and here I thought it was because Elayne was really a philosophy professor named Bruce.

 

And why have you sold me a dead parrot?

[Mr Ares]

oh, and NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

And why have you sold me a dead parrot?

You couldn't even be bothered to WoT them up a bit? Nobody expects the Hand of the Light? It is an ex-mule, it has ceased to be?

 

Some possibilities:

Seanchan go home.

 

What have the Seanchan ever done for us?

 

Rand: I'm not the Dragon.

Dragonsworn: I say you are, Lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.

 

We're not the Taraboner People's Front, we're the People's Front of Tarabon.

 

He's not the Dragon Reborn, he's a very naughty boy.

 

Rand: I am the Dragon Reborn!

Peasant: Well I didn't vote for you.

 

It just smacks of a lack of effort. Honestly, the youth of today.