Yellow Bazinga Event: Funniest Joke Contest!

[Aidanna]

Do you think you are funny? Do you know lots of jokes?

Then this is the place for you!

 

Here is a forum to share your favorite jokes! 

 

Rules for the contest:

1. Keep it PG 13!

 

That's the only BIG rule. If I need to add more rules, I reserve that right... At the end of the week, based on everyone's feedback, and my own enjoyment, I will choose a winner! A number one jokester!

 

Now, some of you may know, I am not the best with jokes... 

My favorite joke is the interrupting cow. Seriously. 

 

So if you think you can beat a rude heifer, post your jokes here!

[Aidanna]

No jokesters around *looks around suspiciously*

 

I know that isn't true! 

 

I am guessing it's been quiet because I didn't set the contest up very well, so how about this...

 

Categories are - 

 

Knock-knock jokes

Why? jokes (like why did the Chicken cross the road?)

Best punny joke.

Funniest overall joke

Story or Riddle joke

Funniest joke with picture  (like an internet meme, I guess....) 

 

 

Feel free to add other jokes from categories like Blonde jokes or Walk into a bar jokes - if we get enough I can add more winners for those categories as long as we keep it pg - 13!

[Elgee]

Can we post funny stories?

 

[Aidanna]

Yes of course you can!

 

I loved that picture - his face is just so wonderful!

[Elaevia]

Are you sure? You really sure? Ok then, as you insist I will inflict some jokes on you!

 

'I'm heading to Greenwich later today. Wondering what I should do in the Mean Time'

 

'The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester'

 

'I've just invented a new word: "Plagerism" '

 

'Is the definition of a onesie a selfie taken by the Royal Family?'

 

'Yes it is. Is time travel possible?'

 

'I'm really not looking forward to my job interview tomorrow: I;m not qualified and I can never think what to say. Still, the candidate will probably be nervous too'

[Elgee]

'I'm really not looking forward to my job interview tomorrow: I;m not qualified and I can never think what to say. Still, the candidate will probably be nervous too'

 

 

lol!

 

Ok here's a story (true!) of what happened one day in the office. I originally posted this in 2008:

 

Wa len plopety!

 

Sometimes, 1 (prospective) tenant can make up for all the other a**holes I have to deal with  :lol:

 

Boss: Select Letting, good afternoon, how may I help you?

Yung: Wa len plopety!

Boss: ... sorry?

Yung: Wa len plopety!

Boss: .... Elgee?

Elgee: This is Elgee speaking - how may I help you?

Yung: WA LEN PLOPETY!

Elgee:  :0  ... errr ... aaahh you want to rent a property?

Yung: YE!

Elgee: Boss, your department

Boss: remind me to fire you later ... Hi ... so what type of property are you looking for?

Yung: wa fla

Boss: ... sorry?

(Elgee picks up extension)

Yung: wa fla !

(Elgee: i think he wants a flat)

Boss: are you looking for a flat?

Yung: ye!

Boss: so how much rent do you want to pay?

Yung: thlee sou

Boss: heh?

Yung: thlee sou !

(Elgee: i'd take a guess at 3000?)

Boss: 3000 rand per month?

Yung: ye!!

 

boss arranges to meet Yung at flat (that's an appartment, btw)

 

Boss comes back, giggling hysterically. Apparently the meeting went something like this:

 

Yung: lie fla - take 

Boss: huh? 

etc

Boss clicks ... : you like flat - you take? (btw - have to now retrain her to speak in full sentences)

Yung (quite cute, apparently from Korea): ye! len fla 

Boss: you fill in form - you got money?

Yung: ok - ye ha lo money

Boss, getting quite good at this sh*t: you have lot money?

Yung: Ye 

Boss: what you do?

Yung: letile

Boss, thrown by new one: huh?

Yung: letile! do nutti

Boss: what? what you do?? you work what?

Yung: LETILE! LICH!

long story ...

Boss: retired? you rich?

Yung: YE!

Boss: where you get money?

Yung: daddy lich!

Boss: you're cute ... i mean you fill in form, you give me copy of passport, copy of bank statement

Yung: heh?

Boss: here - you see form? you write? *takes out own passport* you give me copy yours ... you get paper from bank

Yung: aaaah ok 

 

---

 

Yung not stoopid, Yung fax all through today. Yung send copy of bank statement from july, has over 400,000.00 US $ in bank  :shock:

 

Boss phone Yung: I need newer bank statement

Yung: heh?

Boss: you get NOW paper from bank, not July paper

Yung: heh?

Boss: bling me ... i mean bring me bank paper from NOW!

Yung: aaahh ...

Yung: tay fo day

Boss: huh?

(Elgee tells client in office to shhhs and picks up extention)

Yung: TAY FO DAY!

(Elgee: wtf ... he knows Tay?)

Boss throws lighter at Elgee ...

Elgee: heh?

Yung: TAY .... FO ... DAY !!!

damn ... this english habit of saying it louder so the natives can understand really works!

Elgee: take 4 days?

Boss: take 4 days?

Yung: YE!!!!! (lots of funny words, probably meaning english woman ****ing stupid!)

Boss: why tay fo day?

Yung: OC bunkcow

Boss: wtf?

Elgee: wtf?

Yung: OC bunkcow !

Boss: solly? f*ck ... sorry?

Elgee hands phone to prospective client in office, who happens to be Afrikaans from upcountry and can hardly speak english - maybe he'll have better luck

Random client: wat?

Yung: OC BUNKCOW! FOLLIN!

Boss: Yung, what are you saying?

Yung: OC BUNKCOW!!!! FOLLIN!!! FOLLIN!!! I FOLLINER!!!!

Elgee, hanging over random client, shrieking with laughter, screams at boss: OC BUNKOW!!

Boss: you're ***king fired, you useless **tch!

Elgee: Folliner! he's a foreigner, boss ... overseas ...you get?

Boss: ........................ you mean "I foreigner?"

Yung: YE !!!!!

Boss: ...... you have OVER SEAS BANK ACCOUNT ??

Yung: YE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boss: f*ck

Yung: heh?

Boss: .... where you get money?

Yung: bunk!

Boss: you got money on you?

Yung: ye

Boss: when you get money?

Yung: to'ay

Boss: ..... today?

Yung: ye

Boss: where you get?

Yung: qui bunk

Boss: huh?

Yung: qui bunk !!

Elgee: quick bank

Boss: aaahh

Boss: how much money you get?

Yung: see sow

Boss: huh?

Yung: SEE SOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elgee: 6000?

Boss: bling me ... bring me piece paper qui bunk give you

Yung: ok

[Sunrise Lord]

That's hilarious!  I would've loved to be in on that conversation.

[Elaevia]

*snortgiggle*

 

that's great Elgee, particularly the number of times 'huh?' or similar appears in there. I can imagine everyone sitting around like this

[Elaevia]

I don't know if I can still enter these, but they are too good to keep to myself!

 

What time does Andy Murray go to bed? Tennish

 

 

I'm really struggling to get used to the Fat Boy Slim voice pack on my sat nav. I seen to constantly be going round in circles.

 

Right here, right now, right here, right now

[Aidanna]

So sorry I didn't finish this out quite right - my daughter was super sick with a high fever, and is just now getting a little better for me to get on here. 

 

I loved that story Elgee! When you said you had to retrain your boss to speak in full sentences, I cracked up!

 

Alright - the winners are!!!!!!!

 

Elgee - for the best Meme, and the best Story Joke!

Great Job!

 

And Via - for her One Liner - "I'm heading to Greenwich today. I wonder what I should do in the Mean Time" This one cracked me up!

[Elgee]

Lol ... thank you!

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter - hopefully she'll recover fully soon!