Failing at evil. Bad guys who are bad at it.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

darthe... you wanna try to get to step one with me?

 

oh, no, that would be an evil fail....

[LilyElizabeth]

Jack_D disappeared a long while ago. I don't know if he'll be back or not, to be honest. I miss him :(

 

 

And Darthe, I'm looking for stories, not just names. Real life stories.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

all my stories are personal... but evil fail for sure.

 

5 years old, home with chicken pox, alone on the second floor, everyone else is downstairs.

 

guy walks in through the parlor door, direct entry to the second flood, and slips into the room on the other side of the rolling doors from me.

 

I hear him, so I slide open the doors to say hi, who are you, and... why are you looking in grandmas purse?

 

he doesn't skip a beat, says he's an undercover cop, looking for a burglar, be quiet and don't tell anyone, it's a secret investigation.

 

by now he's realized there is nothing in grandmas purse, so he puts it down, asks if there are any more purses... I say no, he reminds me not to tell, and he goes back out.

 

I immediately bump down the stairs... my preferred method of descent at that time... and find the house full of uniformed cops talking to my family. turns out they're looking for a burglar.

 

I tell them them about the plain clothes I met, they run like hell and he's in cuffs in minutes.

 

the moral of the story... hmmm... several and not least among them lock the parlor door... but for the evil ... or maybe just the poor jerk... who failed.... pick a house that has stuff worth stealing and never trust a 5 year old not to tell.

 

which reminds me of that time Alex told me he'd show me his if I showed him mine and I said... "you first." and taught him that same lesson.

 

the end.

[LilyElizabeth]

Love it, Cindy! 15 points

[Krakalakachkn]

I think it's a crime that people actually find Verb funny.

[lolguy26]

 

 

 

for when your feeling down and want to taunt your prisoners (as an evil bad guy you need to have a few)

[LilyElizabeth]

How is that a fail? I like it. 

[lolguy26]

lol, i think its the fact that your soo bored that you get that, and it looks soo fake 

[Maurelle]

*sigh* Why is it always Florida? What is wrong with my home state?

 

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/taylor-chapman-dunkin-donuts-viral-video-856341

[LilyElizabeth]

That was funny, but not exactly what I'm looking for here. She didn't start out being a bad guy, just a b*tch. 

[Maurelle]

True enough, Malicious One. Still trying to figure out  what is with my home state, though...

[Moon Sedai]

I was once harassed by people at work. There were two guys who would come in the store, gang up on me, and distract me while their buddy stole. 
They would cut across from other employees to specifically seek me out to try to bully me into breaking store policies,

They also made numerous sexual innuendos with the merchandise. 

 

They would also steal from other departments and do the same to associates in other parts of the store.

But, they were always wearing their work uniforms. 

 

WIth their first names on them. 

 

Come to think of it- similar to my earlier tale. 

[LilyElizabeth]

That's brilliant of them. Not. 15 points.